Journey
G. L. Dartt
The Brute charged directly at her, massive body bowling her over as its thick hide resisted her bullets. She tucked and rolled to the side, desperately searching for cover before it made another charge, but as she turned and looked, the monster was no longer coming for her. Instead, it charged for her companion, bowling her over and then, slamming its massive arm into Liara’s midsection, sending her flying to land some distance away, body limp, head bent at an unnatural angle.
“No,” she screamed, dashing for the person she loved, desperately seeking a pulse as the emptiness echoed in her mind, the shattered bond of their love leaving her soul torn. She did not turn and face her enemy, did not care that it was about to charge. She had died once. She had no fear of death, and without Liara, she had no need of life.
“Shepard.”
She flinched, shaking her head in disbelief. How could she be hearing Liara? She was dead. She was—
“Shepard! Wake up!”
Jolted out of sleep, Commander Kate Shepard, late of the Alliance military, now full-time Spectre and captain of the starship Normandy, discovered she was sitting straight up in bed, shaking as sweat dried on her body, leaving her chilled. Beside her, in the tangled sheets, her bondmate, the blue skinned asari maiden, Liara T’Soni, grasped her shoulders with strong hands, holding on to Shepard as she centered herself.
Letting out her breath in a rush, Shepard leaned forward and put her face in her hands, groaning. “Damn it, I’m sorry, Liara,” she said. “That’s the second time this week.”
“There’s no need to apologize,” Liara said, her soft voice soothing as she rubbed Shepard’s neck. “It was only a nightmare. Was it the same?”
“No, this time it was a Brute attack, not a Banshee.” Shepard dropped her hands to her lap, sighing as she felt Liara’s fingers loosen the tight muscles of her neck and upper back, relaxing into the calming caress. “I hate that I keep waking you up.”
“I hate that you keep dreaming I’m dying,” Liara said dryly. “I’ll try not to take it personally.”
“God, what’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Liara told her in a more serious tone, her gaze intent. “After everything you’ve been through, it’s natural to have bad dreams, It’s the mind’s way of coming to terms with all the fear you wouldn’t allow yourself to feel at the time.”
Shepard turned her head to look at her. “You don’t have them.”
“Of course, I have bad dreams about you dying,” Liara said. “After all, I experienced that, as opposed to you merely fearing that I would.”
“Then why don’t I wake up? Why don’t I sense your nightmares through our bond?”
“Because unlike you, I learned to take control of my bad dreams at a very early age,” Liara said. “It’s part of our biotic training. Otherwise, we’d do incredible damage in our sleep as our abilities develop.”
Shepard thought about that. “Oh, okay. That makes sense.”
“If you’d like, I can teach you some techniques that might help,” Liara added as her hand moved down Shepard’s back, stroking lightly, easing the tension she found there. “It won’t remove the nightmares, just…lessen them in intensity. Make it easier for you to realize you’re dreaming and take control of them, direct them to a more positive outcome.”
“At this point, I’ll take any help I can find,” Shepard admitted morosely. Sighing loudly, she eased back down onto the mattress, throwing one arm up over her head as she stared up at the transparency above her quarters, regarding the stars, sharp and distinct, undistorted by atmosphere. The other arm she slipped firmly around Liara as she snuggled up against Shepard, nestling her head on her shoulder. Her hand moved over Shepard’s abdomen in gentle circles, continuing to comfort her.
“This isn’t the first time you’ve had nightmares,” Liara added. “You had them just before we infiltrated the Cerberus base.”
“Yeah, that was a completely different type,” Shepard said. “In fact, it…” She stopped, thinking about it.
Liara lifted her head curiously. “Shepard?”
“I never told you exactly what happened with the Crucible, did I?” Shepard said.
“No, you didn’t.” Liara rose to one elbow, looking down at her. “What it is? You’ve become very…” She paused as she searched for the word to describe the complex mass of emotions she was picking up from her bondmate. Shepard wished her luck. She had no clue how to describe how she was feeling.
“Conflicted,” Liara finished finally.
Shepard smiled, though she didn’t find much that was humorous. “Good word.”
“What happened?”
Shepard was quiet for a moment, organizing her thoughts as beside her, Liara stared at her patiently, waiting for her to speak. “After Anderson and I opened the Citadel arms, and enabled the Crucible to dock, nothing happened. Hackett got on the comm, insisting that I hadn’t activated it. Like I knew how to magically turn it on.” Shepard managed not to roll her eyes, but it was a near thing. “I was barely conscious, bleeding from my side and a head wound. I tried to get back to the Citadel access terminal, though I had no idea what I was going to do once I got there, but I didn’t make it. I collapsed and was nearly out of it when suddenly, a panel beneath me began to rise, taking me up into a control room of some sort on the roof of the tower where the Crucible was joined to the Citadel. There I met the Catalyst.”
Liara’s glacier blue eyes widened. “What do you mean, you ‘met’ the Catalyst?”
“It was an AI of some kind, an embodiment of all the Reapers consciousness and memories. Like Legion was for the Geth.”
“Goddess!”
“Yeah.” Shepard grinned at the oath.
“It attacked you?”
“No, thank God, because at that point, it would have killed me easily, even in the form it took.”
“Which was?”
“Remember my nightmares? The little boy I watched die on Earth? It looked like that.”
“It was a boy?”
“A hologram of him, so maybe that’s why it didn’t attack me. Maybe it couldn’t. Maybe it was just a vid transmission from somewhere else, on some Reaper flagship or something. But I still don’t know why it looked like the boy.”
Liara tilted her head. “Do you believe it took the image from your mind?”
“Maybe, or maybe it really didn’t look like that at all and that boy was just how I perceived it.”
“What did it do? It had to know you were there to destroy it.”
“It did, and it wanted to offer me…alternatives. It said that destroying the Reapers would also destroy me, because I was almost synthetic myself. It showed me three separate control panels that would alter the crucible’s function. Destroy was only one option and with the other two, I would continue to live.”
“What were the other options?”
“One was Control. Ironically, the Illusive Man had been right. The Reapers could be taken over and directed by someone. In this case, me.”
“In what way?”
“By becoming the Catalyst, I think.” Shepard frowned. “Merging with it, somehow. In retrospect, it’s hard to figure out exactly what would have happened, but whatever it really required to take command of the Reapers, I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to control them. Maybe it would have been a better solution, but the thought of it was revolting. And I don’t know how much of that revulsion came from how I felt about the Illusive Man.”
“I see,” Liara paused. “You worry that perhaps you allowed personal feelings blind you to Control being a better solution.”
“Maybe,” Shepard said. “Was I selfish? Short sighted?”
“No, you were making the best decision based on the information you had.”
“Then there was the third option.”
“Which was?”
“The Catalyst called it Synthesis.” Shepard frowned. “Again, it’s not entirely clear in my head, but there was the possibility of merging organic and synthetic life all over the galaxy, of taking the next step in our evolution.”
“One concept of evolution,” Liara said, her tone harder. “Imposed on the rest of the galaxy through unnatural means. I know I would never choose that form of existence. I wouldn’t want to become half machine.” She stopped. “Shepard, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—“
“No, I agree,” Shepard said, laughing a little. “Believe me, if I’d had any choice in the matter, I wouldn’t have acquired all these cybernetic parts from Cerberus. And I don’t feel like that was what the offer was about, every synthetic becoming half organic while every organic became half synthetic. I think it was more another aspect of becoming part of a synthetic mind, like the Geth. A collective consciousness of some kind combining organic with synthetic.”
“Another type of indoctrination, in other words.”
Shepard blinked. “Could be. I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
“So, destruction was the only real option.”
“I certainly thought so at the time. But I didn’t hesitate, Liara, I just wanted the Reapers gone. I hated them so much for everything that had happened, for all the damage they had caused, for all the lives that had been taken. For that little boy. It’s just that now I sometimes wonder if the choice I made was in the heat of the moment. That I didn’t give the other two options the consideration they deserved.”
“You didn’t exactly have time to consider them,” Liara pointed out. “People were dying. You were prepared to die. And let’s not forget, the Catalyst could have stopped what it was doing at any time, could have ceased all hostilities and allowed you the opportunity to consider its proposal. It was the Catalyst that waited until you were actually holding the gun to its head before offering ‘alternatives’. Until that moment, it was perfectly content to harvest us all, and come back in another fifty thousand years to do it all over again with whatever civilization rose from our ashes.”
“So, you think it was lying about the other two options?”
“I think it was trying to survive, and was desperately trying to find a way to prevent you from destroying it and all the Reapers. A final attempt at self-preservation. I also know that in the moments leading up to the Crucible’s activation, the Reapers never stopped trying to get to the Citadel. It was only the combined might of all the fleets holding them back. Otherwise, the Reapers would have destroyed both the station and the weapon. It’s possible there weren’t really any other options at all, that the Catalyst was merely trying to delay you long enough for its forces to reach you.”
Shepard absorbed that. “Okay, that makes sense.”
Liara reached down and stroked her cheek. “No one should have that kind of burden placed upon them,” she said softly. “To decide the fate of billions in a split second? I’m sorry you were the one placed in that position, but for what it’s worth, I don’t think there’s anyone I would trust more with such a decision. I honestly believe you made the right one. And since I know you were willing to die in making that decision, nothing more can be asked of you.”
Shepard nodded. “Thanks. That makes me feel better.” She focused on a single star, one with a reddish cast. “Of course, none of it explains how I did survive, or how I ended up back in the Citadel control room after the Crucible fired. Or how Anderson’s body was blown free of the tower while I continued to have a bubble of atmosphere around me. Or how that atmosphere continued to hold until Bailey and Cousland rescued me. There are so many questions and very few answers.”
Liara lay back down beside her, wrapping her up in a warm embrace. “Isn’t it enough that you survived?”
Shepard tilted her head, feeling Liara’s lips on her temple. “This, coming from the Shadow Broker who has to know every single detail about every significant thing that happens in the galaxy?”
“In this case, I’m more than happy to accept the result of whatever combination of improbable events made it happen.” Liara nuzzled along the curve of Shepard’s ear. “And never think about it again, because whenever I do think about it, I start to imagine what should have happened, and I become sick to my stomach.”
“Fair enough,” Shepard said, sensing that Liara was being completely sincere in her words. That in fact, she was starting to become upset by the questioning of Shepard’s miraculous survival. “Hey,” she added in a softer voice, turning her head to kiss Liara on the lips. “It’s okay. I won’t bring it up again.”
Liara seemed to steel herself. “You bring it up as much as you need to,” she told her. “I’m always ready to listen. So long as you realize that I’m just so happy and grateful to have you here alive and well that it can be difficult for me to dwell on the alternatives.”
“I guess I’d feel the same way if positions were reversed,” Shepard said. She shifted onto her side so that she pressed against her, feeling the swell of her breasts against hers, the way her pelvis moved against her own. Reaching down, she cupped Liara’s buttocks with her hands, pulling her closer. “Speaking of positions…”
Liara laughed and kissed her. “Let’s try a few, shall we?”
II
Basking under the rush of steaming water, Liara acknowledged one more perk to living in the commanding officer’s quarters, namely, that there was always hot water in the shower. That hadn’t always been the case in the women’s washroom on the crew deck, especially if she got to it late in the morning after Shadow Broker business kept her up the night before. Then there were the other perks, she thought as she felt Shepard’s sleek, wet body press against her from behind.
“Can I just say, I just love my morning routine now,” Shepard muttered, her soapy hands running liberally over Liara’s stomach and breasts.
Liara leaned back into her embrace. “I rather enjoy it, as well,” she said. “Even though the rest of your day is far too routine for your liking.”
Shepard sighed. “I realize I should be glad we haven’t run into any trouble out here, but knowing that you’d be spending day after day on a starship that seems to be going nowhere, even at a respectable FTL speed, is different than actually living it.”
“I suspect it’s the same way for everyone,” Liara said. “We all became used to living under the constant threat of destruction, and it takes time to get over that. The war still lingers.” She inhaled sharply as Shepard’s lips trailed a path up her neck and she reached back to tangle her fingers in the short, dark hair, holding her head closer. “Do we have time for this?”
Shepard’s hands slid lower, to Liara’s genital slit, rubbing a fingertip along the length, teasing it open so that she could slip two fingers inside. “We always have time for this,” she murmured as she fondled the nodules within, the sensation making Liara’s knees buckle. Shepard’s strong arms easily supported Liara as she shuddered, the swift lance of pleasure nearly overwhelming as she clenched around the maddening touch.
This was a purely physical act, designed only to provide release and she climaxed quickly. It was not as sustained or fulfilling as melding would be, but as a quick start to the day, filling her with positive endorphins as well as putting a smile on her face, it was perfect.
She nuzzled Shepard’s ear. “What about you?”
“Oh, I’m fine,” Shepard said, turning her around so that she could kiss her. “You took care of me last night.”
“Count on more of the same tonight,” Liara promised as she pressed against her.
Which put a big smile on Shepard’s face as she shut off the water and pulled a towel from the cabinet, handing it to Liara before taking one for herself.
“Listen,” Shepard said as they dressed, “If you’re free around 1400 hours, come down to engineering. We’re going to surprise Tali with her new quarters.”
“I can’t believe everyone kept it a secret this long,” Liara said as she dried the crevices in her scalp crest.
“Well, we kept the construction team pretty small,” Shepard said. “Garrus, Daniels, me and Joker. Oh, and Dr. Chakwas who had to sign off on the methods we used to disinfect all the furnishings and surfaces, not to mention the sterilization cubicle for entering.”
“Do you really think she’ll be able to take off her suit while in the cabin?”
“So long as it remains sealed and she’s the only one who goes in, it’s possible,” Shepard said. “We’re going to take it slow, though and the doc will supervise the whole process.”
“I can’t wait to s…” Liara stopped and laughed. “I was about to say, I can’t wait to see her face when she realizes what’s been done.”
“Well, we did put in the transparency leading to main engineering, so if she decides to remove her face shield, then everyone will be able to see what she looks like.”
“You’ve seen her face, though.”
“Yes, on Rannoch. Just after we killed that Reaper and the quarians were landing on the planet, she and I were on a cliff, watching over it all, and appreciating the fact that the quarrians had finally retaken their home world after centuries. Since she planned to come with us on the Normandy, she took the opportunity to remove her shield and bare her face to the sun. She was sick for two days but she said it was totally worth it.”
“And?”
Shepard glanced at her as she shrugged into her black N7 hoodie, pulling it on over the camo t-shirt. “And what?”
“What does she look like?”
Shepard laughed. “Oh, don’t tell me I know something the Shadow Broker doesn’t?”
“Shepard!”
But all Shepard did was flash her another grin as she holstered her pistol and trotted out the door. Liara shook her head, smiling as she finished dressing.
Taking the elevator down to CIC, she nodded briefly at Samantha Traynor who was at her communications post next to the navigational console. There was no sign of Shepard and she presumed that she was in the cockpit with Joker, going over the day’s navigational course. Not that it would deviate from the rest of the Migrant Fleet’s, but the commander liked to stay on top of things. Turning left, Liara accessed the door that had been refitted since leaving Earth, leading to the small office that contained all the sensitive and powerful monitoring stations that fed her information from all over the galaxy. Once, such knowledge had made Liara T’Soni one of the most powerful people in space, an information broker of the highest order. Now, with the destruction of the mass relays and the inability to act swiftly on most of the data she acquired, she was little more than the ultimate space voyeur.
She supposed it was the same for most people who were still adjusting to an existence where it took weeks and months to get anywhere in the galaxy, as opposed to the minutes and hours that utilizing an array provided. Even the Spectres, the special agents of the galactic Council, were virtually useless. By the time a Spectre could travel to wherever the crisis point was occurring, it had usually resolved itself one way or the other. No more arriving in the nick of time to save the day. Only showing up to pick up the pieces and write a report assessing the situation. Liara suspected that was part of the reason it had been easy for Shepard to take on this mission to the Omega Nebula. It wasn’t time sensitive.
Though the Council had agreed that it might be a good idea to see what was going on in the Terminus Systems. Less advanced technically and economically than the Council Systems, they were subsequently less impacted by the war, which meant they might rebuild quicker, putting them in an advantageous position once things started returning to normal. In the central systems, there was an unofficial race on to see who could get their mass relay back in operation before anyone else. Add on the fact that Omega, the station controlled by the criminal, Aria, was as important a strategic point in the Terminus Systems as the Citadel was in Council space, it behooved the Council to know what was going on out there.
Not that Shepard had intended that when agreeing to help Aria return home. She had just been trying to escape the plans the Alliance brass had for the Hero of the Galaxy, Destroyer of Reapers, trying to maintain control over her own life rather than allow her superiors in the military to turn her into some political PR puppet. While communication with the Earth Alliance remained somewhat frosty because of that decision, the Council, comprised of the asari, turian and salarian representatives, had been glad to hear from Shepard, and heartily endorsed her self-imposed mission to the outer territories. The humans had yet to replace their representative, Donnel Udina, who had perished during the war. Liara suspected they would eventually choose Admiral Hackett, though so far, he was proving far too useful on Earth as they sought to regain a certain stability after the Reapers attack.
Meanwhile, traveling with the quarrian flotilla on their way back to Rannoch had proven to be somewhat tedious despite the safety it provided. The Migrant Fleet could only move as fast as their slowest group of ships and for Normandy’s crew, used to living on the edge, the uneventful nature of the voyage over the past couple of months was starting to wear on everyone, including Shepard. Liara searched the immediate section of space, hoping to find something, anything, that would enable the Normandy to temporarily break off from the fleet, and involve the crew in something more exciting than a routine of ship retrofitting, maintenance and self-imposed workouts on the shuttle deck.
As she worked, she found she was missing Glyph, her virtual intelligence program that had provided constant feedback, in addition to helping her collate and analyze the vast amounts of data. Now if she spoke out loud in the confines of her office, she was only talking to herself and that made her feel silly, and ironically, a bit lonely. Tali had tried bringing Glyph back online but so far, hadn’t had much luck. The pulse the Crucible had emanated destroyed all aspects of synthetic intelligence, which apparently, Glyph had been on the verge of achieving. It had been necessary to destroy the Reapers, but innocents like the Normandy’s AI, the Enhanced Defense Intelligence, or EDI as she was known, were destroyed as well. A sacrifice that still haunted Shepard, Liara knew.
There, she thought. A bit of information from a system not too far away as these things went. A few days there and back, and with Normandy’s enhanced propulsion system that included four large antiproton thrusters, they could easily catch up to the Migrant Fleet once any possible mission was complete.
She keyed the comm system. “Shepard, can you come to my office? I’ve found something that may be of interest.”
“On my way. Give me a minute. I’m down in engineering.”
Liara felt another surge of fondness for her bondmate. Tali’s depleted immune system required her to wear a biosuit all the time, but if Shepard and the rest of the refit team could make the new quarters as sterile as possible, Tali would experience a freedom she had never really known, the simple ability to walk around without her environmental suit. Shepard would be doing everything she could to make that dream a reality. Liara still found it hard to believe Tali didn’t suspect anything, but there were so many refit projects going on around the ship, not only to make it more livable on this long journey, but to keep everyone as busy as possible, that perhaps Tali didn’t notice just one more, albeit, going on just outside engineering where she spent most of her time lovingly maintaining her vessel.
As Liara waited, she refined her search parameters a little more, pinpointing the location to within a kilometer. When she heard the door hiss open, she brought up all the relevant data to her main screen.
“What’s this?” Shepard said, frowning slightly as she looked at the snowy landscape being displayed. A series of buildings were centered amid a jagged peak, granite rock formations dark against the glistening white. Liara could tell she recognized the facility.
“For some, the war isn’t over,” Liara said. “I’ve been receiving reports from a Shadow Broker agent on Noveria. Apparently, there’s a group of Cerberus members, including several scientists, trying to rebuild the organization. Currently, they’re headquartered in the Peak 15 facility.”
Shepard’s expression softened and she looked at Liara. “That’s where your mother died,” she said gently.
“It is,” Liara said, managing to keep her voice even. “It was also where the rachni queen was hatched. In any event, we’ll be passing by the Horsehead Nebula shortly. It wouldn’t necessarily be out of our way to check it out. We could travel to the Pax system, deal with whatever’s going on, and be back before the Migrant Fleet passes out of range.”
“It’s in Earth Alliance space,” Shepard said.
“Yes, but Noveria is privately chartered by the Noveria Development Corporation and technically, not part of any singular political territory,” Liara said. “Only Spectres have any kind of authority there.”
“Very little authority,” Shepard said thoughtfully, “But you’re right, we do have some extraterritorial privileges.” She crossed her arms over her chest, tilting her head as she regarded the screen. “You really think it’s a danger?”
“I don’t know,” Liara responded honestly. “But it’s not as if anyone else is paying much attention to it. If we ignore it as well…”
“Any trouble they eventually create would be on us,” Shepard finished grimly.
“Not necessarily on us, but if we have the chance to nip it in the bud, perhaps we should.”
Shepard was quiet for a moment, considering it and Liara wisely remained silent, allowing her to make the conclusion on her own, not just for the sake of the greater good, but for the sake of herself and the crew. A little action, a chance to do a little good in a rebuilding galaxy, the opportunity to strike another blow at the organization that, although responsible for resurrecting Shepard, had been operating as an enemy during the war, were all reasons worthy on their own. Combined, the choice should be irresistible.
“I think you may be on to something,” Shepard said finally. “Let’s get the senior staff together in the conference room. They need to hear this.”
III
“Are you sure Garrus can talk her into coming here without raising her suspicions?” Samantha asked as she wiped the transparency down with a soft cloth, making sure it was completely clear. Originally the inner door to engineering, it had been transformed into a bulkhead with a rectangular window, allowing them to see into the cabin they had created for Tali. “I’m surprised she didn’t figure out something was going on when you asked her to look over the shuttle specs.”
“If anyone can distract Tali, he can,” Shepard said with certainty. “Now turn off the lights. We don’t want her to see any of you yet.”
“Bailey won’t like that you threw him under the bus,” Donnelly offered in his Scottish lilt. “He hasn’t even touched the shuttle, let alone made any modifications.”
“I had to get Tali out of engineering somehow,” Shepard said. “Yeah, it was a weak excuse, but the modifications you made should make it look like an amateur was messing with the elevation controls.” She looked up as Daniels lowered the lighting until it was hard to see anyone in engineering. “Remember, don’t turn them on until I get back.”
She shot a look at Liara who smiled back, her eyes looking a bit bright, as if moisture was threatening to spill over. She reached out, trying to determine why, and was immediately embarrassed when she discovered the powerful wave of tenderness and affection surrounding her. Feeling her face heat, as if everyone was witness to such soppiness, she dipped her head and headed out the other, now only, door to engineering, slipping through the sub-level staircase alcove to the outer corridor. Just in time as the elevator doors slid open to reveal Garrus and Tali.
“What’s going on, Shepard?” Tali asked, sounding vaguely annoyed at being interrupted. “I haven’t completed the diagnostic on the shuttle.”
“We’ve set up a secure cargo hold to maintain fragile and/or extremely dangerous cargo. I’d like you to check it out, particularly the sterilization procedure for creating the clean room,” Shepard responded briskly.
Tali’s head tilted, curiosity in every line of her body language. “Clean room? I didn’t know that was what you were constructing. Should it be so close to engineering?”
“You tell me,’ Shepard said. “Your suit’s sensors are more sensitive than anything we have. We need to know that when you enter the hold after going through the disinfection process, that it’s absolutely sterile, that nothing’s getting in to contaminate the room in any way.”
“Very well.” Tali still sounded puzzled, but she activated the door and stepped inside the small cubicle.
As soon as the door shut behind her, Shepard rushed back into engineering, Garrus hot on her heels and with Liara, Samantha, Donnelly, Daniels, Dr. Chakwas and Joker, they gathered around the transparency, waiting for the sterilization process to finish and the inner door to the cabin to open.
Tali stopped as she entered and saw them all there, her body rigid with surprise. They had hidden the transparency in engineering by placing a temporary bulkhead over it during construction. Shepard suspected Tali was frowning behind the mask, but then she turned her head and looked around what she had assumed would be a cargo hold, but instead turned out to be a somewhat Spartan cabin containing a bed, desk, computer console, several built-in compartments, a display case with a rock from Rannoch and a framed picture over the bed of the entire Normandy crew sitting on a sofa in Shepard’s old apartment in the Citadel.
“What is goin—,” Tali began and then must have realized what they had done. “No,” She said, her knees buckling a little. “No, no, no, no…”
“Don’t freak out, Tali,” Shepard said, keying the comm to allow her to speak through the transparency. “It’s just a cabin.”
Tali’s helmet swung wildly back at the transparency where all her crewmates were grinning at her like idiots. “I can’t…Shepard, only ship captains have private quarters. And none have decontamination. It takes up far too many resources.”
“Not for Normandy,” Shepard said. “Besides you’re worth every resource we might spend. The disinfection chamber was the toughest part and it’s already built so we can’t take it back.” She hesitated and put her hand on the glass, spreading her fingers. “Did it work? Are you sterile in there?”
Tali stared at her a moment, and then keyed her omni-tool, shaking her head. When she spoke again, her voice was choked and full of emotion. “This area is completely sealed. I didn’t understand…Shepard, are you saying I can take off my suit?”
“Not right away,” Chakwas stepped forward. “Let’s start slow. Just the face shield for now. We’ll keep an eye on it.”
Tali stared at her a moment, and then slowly, she reached up and gripped her mask, detaching it from her helmet, before taking off the helmet as well. Everyone in engineering leaned forward, an expectant, almost reverent hush falling and it was all Shepard could do not to burst out laughing as Tali’s face was finally revealed to her crewmates.
For a second there was a sort of stunned silence from the others before Joker, typically, broke it.
“Damn, Tali,” he said. “You’re gorgeous.”
“Quarrians have hair?” Liara said almost at the same time. “I thought only humans had hair.” She frowned. “Why did I not know they had hair?” she added in a mumble to herself.
“Holy cow, Tali, can I get your number?” Samantha said, trying to close her hanging jaw and having a little difficulty.
“Hey, you guys, you’re making her self-conscious,” Shepard said, though she had thought many of the same things back on Rannoch when she had first seen Tali’s finely chiseled features, with long, wavy, raven hair falling about her high cheekbones and golden, almond shaped eyes. Tali’s smile revealed bright white teeth with canines that were slightly elongated, more so than human teeth, but otherwise, she fit well within the human parameters of what was considered beautiful.
“No, it’s fine, Shepard,” Tali said, her voice lacking the reverberation now that the mask had been removed. It was low and honeyed, accented only slightly. She smiled at Joker. “What would you have said if I wasn’t good looking?”
“I would have said, damn, girl, you got fangs,” Joker said, peering closer at Tali through the transparency. “And your eyes really glow, that’s not some effect from the helmet. What are you? A werewolf?”
Tali looked at him in complete confusion, and for the first time, Shepard could read her expression, as opposed to trying to decipher her body language.
“What’s a werewolf?”
“Never mind,” Shepard said, shooting Joker a baleful look. “He’s just being…well, him.”
Tali put her hand up to the transparency, her two fingers and thumb almost clawlike as she mirrored Shepard’s hand, touching but not touching through the glass. “I can’t believe you did this for me. Why?”
“Because we love you, Tali,” Liara said simply.
That’s when Tali began to cry, big sloppy tears streaming down her face, and Liara put her hand up to the glass beside Shepard’s. But the tears were happy, so the three females, human, asari and quarrian just stood there until Tali managed to compose herself.
“And don’t worry about this window,” Shepard assured her once the crying had subsided. “It can be darkened from your side so that your privacy won’t be disturbed. We just thought you’d like to be able to see engineering from your cabin.”
Tali shook her head. “This is all too much, Shepard.”
“We’re sorry we couldn’t make it more homey,” Liara added. “We were just so limited with materials that could be both sterile and functional.”
“It’s wonderful,” Tali said, looking back into her room. “Is that my own bathroom? I can take a shower?” Her tone and features were a combination of such longing and wonder that it was almost painful to see. Shepard suddenly realized that quarians had never learned to hide or even temper their expressions. It was wantonly childlike.
“Again, take it slow, Tali,” Chakwas warned. “We used a lot of filters for your private water supply, but we’ll have to keep checking on it.”
“I may never come out,” Tali said, walking around the room, touching the desk and things that had been provided. She picked up the display case containing the rock. “I thought I had lost this!?!”
“Sorry, Tali, that’s on me,” Garrus said. Shepard couldn’t read his expression as well as other species, but it seemed he was a little misty, too. Certainly, his voice was huskier than normal. Unsurprising considering how close he and Tali had become over the years. “I lifted it from your locker a few days ago.”
“And never said a thing while you helped me look for it?” Tali regarded him with a combination of exasperation and amusement.
“My orders,” Shepard said, hoping to smooth over any ruffled feelings. “Liara’s idea.”
“It’s perfect,” Tali said, and offered Garrus a dazzling smile that nearly staggered him. Again, Shepard stifled the laughter that bubbled up. Her friend was a goner, there was no question of that.
“So, take some time to look around your new place, speak with the doc about what steps you might want to take next, and return to duty once she clears you,” Shepard said. She glanced around and lifted her hand, moving her finger in a circle. “As for the rest of is, time to get back to work.”
As she and most of the others left engineering, Liara fell into step with her. “This is shameful,” she said as they waited in the corridor for the elevator’s return. They had allowed the others to go on ahead, taking a moment for themselves as they had developed the habit of doing since the voyage began.
Shepard shot her a look, bemused. “What is?”
“That I never bothered to study the quarians history,” Liara said. “It would have been so easy to find evidence of their appearance. They’ve only required environmental suits for a few hundred years. Yet, I was more interested in the ancient history of an extinct species than in that of my friends.”
“To be fair, knowledge of that ancient history saved all our asses,” Shepard pointed out. “More than once.”
“I didn’t even know quarrians had hair,” Liara said. “I simply accepted the appearance of their environmental suits at face value, that quarians resembled Geth in some way rather than understand what they truly looked like. I didn’t know they resembled humans so closely.”
“Ah, the hair.” Shepard grinned. Liara had always maintained a fascination with Shepard’s hair, short as it was, always stroking or running her fingers through it when they were being intimate. Probably because asari had none of their own. Even their eyelashes were of a thin, cartilage material, each a separate filament though from a distance, they resembled fine hairs. “Should I be worried? I mean, here’s Tali with a sensational head of hair, one that’s never known a comb or brush, that’s never been cut, yet she pulls off that mask and it’s perfect, long and thick and silky smooth. Hell, I want to run my fingers through it.”
Liara nudged her admonishingly. “I’m being serious. I’m ashamed of my ignorance. It was born of a cultural bias and nothing more. ‘Quarians were not worthy of study except by a few rouge historians.’ A subtle and insidious viewpoint presented from the time I began my archaeological studies.”
Shepard sobered a little. “I get that,” she said. “I’ve always thought the quarians were treated dreadfully by the rest of the galaxy, worse than how you all treated humans. Maybe that’s why I feel such a kinship with them. And I never really understood the universal antipathy shown toward them, unless it was because they were a constant reminder of how easy it is to lose your worlds to synthetics. Even before we knew of the Reapers, there must have been genetic memory sparking a primeval fear. People resented and distrusted the quarians for showing them what was coming and didn’t even know why.”
Liara blinked. “That’s an intriguing view,” she said. “I don’t necessarily ascribe to the theory of genetic memory as such, but perhaps you’re right.”
“On the other hand, in human history, there were plenty of nomadic tribes and cultures that were also viewed by suspicion and distrust,” Shepard pointed out. “Perhaps it’s just the basic difference between hunter/gatherers and those that settle in a fixed spot.”
“Perhaps I should ask Aethyta,” Liara said. “She’s old enough to remember when quarians still lived on Rannoch. She might know if they were treated in a similar fashion then.”
The door to the elevator opened and they stepped inside, keying it for the CIC deck. “Nothing wrong with easing ignorance,” Shepard said. “But just remember, you don’t have to become an expert on quarrian culture and history just because you feel bad.”
“I don’t intend to become an expert,” Liara said, a little defensively, and at Shepard’s sideways glance, she dipped her head sheepishly. “Very well, I will restrain my studies. Especially if we’re about to go mission ready.”
Shepard felt her heart leap. “I can’t wait to tell the others.”
IV
“So that’s the story,” Shepard concluded as the senior crew met in the conference room. She had kept the chairs that Lt. Commander Ashley Williams had instated, and the room had been made over in a more congenial atmosphere since the start of their trek to Omega. There was even a setup at the far end with a sink and heating unit, including cupboards that contained the fixtures for the making of coffee, tea, or assorted beverages of choice. Through the door on the right side of the room was the entrance to the science lab, replacing what had once been the war room.
Liara glanced at her tablet in front of her, making sure there hadn’t been any detail left out about the possible reformation of Cerberus. In the center of the table, a holographic projector displayed the same information as around her, people were leaning forward in rapt attention. Liara suspected this was the best news any of them had heard in months. Their expressions were not appropriately somber, but rather, were eager with an almost hunger that was disturbing in its intensity.
Yes, this had been desperately needed.
“Only one question,” Garrus said. “Who’s going with you?”
Shepard glanced around and smiled. “I’m thinking two teams. One goes in the front, open and obvious, presenting Spectre status. The other comes in from the rift station, ready to engage if it all goes sideways.”
“If?” Tali said.
Liara glanced at her, and for the first time, was conscious of the woman’s appearance beneath the featureless mask. It was a little disconcerting.
“It may not be Cerberus reforming,” Liara said with a cautionary note in her tone. “I no longer have access to the range of information I once did and the accuracy of what I do receive may be suspect.”
“So, we’re going in blind.” Garrus settled back in his seat, seeming almost satisfied with the lack of intel. “Just like old times.”
“We’re going in to determine what the real story is,” Shepard corrected. “If it is Cerberus, then we reassess, and take down the facility.”
“Teams?” Javik noted.
Shepard pinned him with a look. “You’ll be leading the second squad,” she said and Javik visibly straightened in his seat. “Bailey and Aria will take your flank. You all right with that?”
“I will taste victory and it will be sweet,” he said.
“Only if you get the signal,” Shepard said pointedly. “And only if we take on armed resistance. Unarmed civilians are not to be harmed.” She leaned forward, her eyes darkening. “We are no longer at war. This is Spectre business. Are we clear?”
Javik held her look, and then nodded, all four eyelids lowering. “Understood, Commander.”
Liara knew why Shepard had made up the support team the way she had. Aria, though she would never admit it, was wary of the Prothean and possibly even the tiniest bit fearful of his abilities. Between him and Bailey, who was supremely unimpressed with her and would provide a steadying influence, they would be able to keep her in line. Aria could have been left behind on the ship, of course, but Liara suspected this was Shepard’s way of relieving some stress for their passenger. Aria’s skill set didn’t really allow for her to be a part of the ship crew, other than in command, and she was chafing at being little more than super cargo, not to mention very vocal about the Normandy staying with the Migrant Fleet which moved at a snail’s pace. She had even begun volunteering to help with the construction crews in recent weeks, and that wasn’t like Aria at all, unless it was to ingratiate herself with others on the ship, assessing potential allies. Giving her some action would forestall any unwise attempt to remove Shepard and take over the Normandy.
“And for the frontal assault?” Garrus inquired. That it would be more dangerous was left unsaid by him, but they all knew that wherever Shepard was, that was where the fighting would be the most intense.
“I would never be without my turian general,” Shepard said, offering him a grin. She glanced at Liara and Tali. “Nor my biotic and technical specialists.”
“Is it wise to have the entire senior staff involved?” Dr. Chakwas pointed out, as always, the sage voice of reason.
Shepard inclined her head. “We all need a little action, doc,” she said. “And if it all goes wrong, then the Normandy will no longer have need to go to Omega. You can turn around and go home.”
“Always the silver lining,” Chakwas said dryly.
“It won’t go wrong,” Shepard said with a confidence that Liara knew she couldn’t possibly feel because that would make her foolhardy, and Shepard was no fool, but it was what they all required in a leader. That absolute certainty in her own abilities and in that of her followers.
“It will take two days to travel there and back, with possibly a day or two in between, depending on how the mission goes,” Shepard continued. “We’ll take the opportunity to secure some supplies at Port Hanshan and maybe even take a little shore leave, depending on the circumstances, put some ground under our feet. The Normandy can easily catch up to the Migrant Fleet once we’re finished on Noveria.”
She stood up, offering that calm, cool, deadly expression they’d all come to know and worship. “Get your heads on straight. Check your gear, stow your business. Wheels up in twenty-six hours. Dismissed.”
As everyone filtered out, Liara lingered, regarding Shepard closely. Shepard was aware of her scrutiny, she knew, but remained engrossed in the tablet she had picked up after dismissing the others.
“You have something to add?” she asked silkily, after a moment, without looking up.
“What if it isn’t Cerberus?”
Shepard smiled wolfishly. “Then we all look a little foolish and stand down. But just the motions of going through a mission will go a long way in easing tension. We need this.”
“I know,” Liara said. She paused. “I just wasn’t sure you did.”
Shepard did look up at that. “How could you not be sure?”
Liara smiled. “Just because I can sense your emotions doesn’t mean I can always interpret them.”
“Fair enough.” The sapphire gaze deepened in intensity. “And what might you be interpreting now?”
Liara felt a shiver run through her. “That this is an entirely inappropriate place to have such emotions.”
“It will only take a minute to get to the captain’s quarters,’ Shepard reminded. “One of the advantages of a small ship.”
Liara glanced in the general direction of her office. “I really should try to gather more intel,” she said weakly.
Shepard let out a bark of laugher. “Is playing hard to get an asari thing, or just something you like to do? Don’t forget, I know what you’re actually feeling.”
“I’m not playing hard to get,” Liara protested as she rose to her feet, joining Shepard as they headed for the CIC and the elevator. “It was just an acknowledgement that perhaps work should take precedence over personal desire.”
“Duty is important,” Shepard agreed, pinning Liara to the wall as soon as the door to the elevator slid shut. She ran her tongue along the line of Liara’s neck. “But so is this,” she added in a husky trill. “Especially since we’ve always had to make this come second.”
Liara tilted her head back, feeling Shepard’s lips trail fire down her throat while her hands did the most wonderful things beneath the light shipboard outfit Liara was wearing, somehow having found their way through suddenly unfastened openings. She was being undressed with consummate skill and speed.
“Goddess!”
The door to the elevator flew open and they stumbled through, took three steps through the corridor to the door to their quarters which quickly gave way, allowing them to make their way down from the office area, through the small living area to the bed, all the while shedding clothing that left a trail in their wake.
Shepard pushed Liara down onto the bed and she had a brief second to catch her breath before losing it again as Shepard quickly positioned herself between her legs, her mouth zeroing in on Liara’s center, lips and tongue teasing open her slit. Liara arched and cried out, filling her hands with that head of silky hair, the sensation nearly making her swoon.
She began to protrude, just a little, azure responding to the maddening caress as Shepard’s tongue danced over the sensitive nodules, swirling, fluttering, making Liara’s hips undulate helplessly. Then fingers pushed gently against her, and the azure retreated, inverting, welcoming the tender penetration as Shepard trailed her mouth up Liara’s body, pausing at her breasts to taste each stiffened nipple, coxing them into even harder attention before moving up to cover Liara’s mouth with her own, bringing with the kiss Liara’s unique flavor against her lips.
The soldier’s assault was as finely tuned and defined as any she might perform on the battlefield and as effective. Liara was overwhelmed, the pleasure ripping through her with irresistible force, shattering her reserve, climax coming quick and hard, leaving her limp in the aftermath.
“Goddess,” she managed again, albeit, much softer in tone.
Shepard looked down at her, an undeniable smugness crinkling her warm eyes. “Better than intel gathering?”
Liara wrapped her arms around Shepard’s neck, pulling her down into another long, soul deep kiss. “Lightyears better.”
Delighting in the warm weight of the body on hers, she ran her hands down the length of Shepard’s back, stroking over the soft skin as they kissed. There was no better place in the universe to be, she thought dazedly as she felt desire rise once more, no other person that she ever wanted to be with, nothing else she could imagine doing other than kissing Shepard until they were both nearly dizzy from the sheer sensation.
“Oh, Liara,” Shepard moaned, arching as Liara touched her, fingers moving over her with delicate precision.
Liara waited, drawing out the pleasure, and finally, Shepard lowered her head, opening her eyes to stare down at her. Liara reached out, kindling the energy within her, enfolding Shepard into her heart and soul.
“Embrace eternity.” And suddenly, they were one, hearts synchronizing their beat, breath coming in perfect harmony, minds flowing as a single entity, their love wrapping around the two of them in a warm, protective blanket of emotion.
For long moments, they held that plateau of pleasure, each reverberating through the other, lifting the plateau higher and higher with every heartbeat, time losing all meaning until it was too much for even their combined nervous systems and gradually, they descended once more into the warm afterglow.
“You know, human poets and songwriters have written about lovers sharing one heart for as long as humans have had the ability to be creative, but only asari can actually do it,” Shepard murmured several minutes later as they lay entangled, slowly separating mentally, though remaining as close as possible physically.
“Interesting,” Liara said. “Striving for something we accept as normal, but is only an abstract concept in your species. I wonder why?”
“Perhaps a part of us always knew you were out here somewhere,” Shepard said. “Waiting for us.”
“Unlikely.”
Shepard laughed. “Sometimes you’re too literal.”
“And you’ve become surprisingly poetic since we began this journey,” Liara noted. She rubbed her cheek lightly against the smooth skin of Shepard’s breast bone. “I think I like it.”
“Good,” Shepard said. She squirmed a little, stretching out some kinks. “I should get back to work. I need to be ready for Noveria.” She turned her head and kissed Liara on the temple. “Thank you for digging this up.”
Liara patted her on the stomach. “Just don’t say I never get you anything nice.”
V
Now this was more like it, more like old times, more like what she’d imagined and hoped her life would be like after the war. Not complete retirement, but simple missions that did good in the galaxy, accompanied by her companions, trusted and tested in battle. Shepard swayed with the motion of the shuttle as she held on to the roof and fought the urge to grin like an idiot as they approached the LZ through a driving snow storm.
On the bench behind her, her three squad mates did last minute checks of their weapons, Garrus with the old, battered sniper rifle, Liara with her gleaming pistol, and Tali with her favorite short barreled shotgun. The only thing new was their pilot. Instead of Steve Cortez, stuck on Earth somewhere after surviving the crash of his shuttle in London, Aethyta handled the contrary controls like a pianist, coxing a much smoother flight than even her predecessor thanks to her centuries of experience with military craft. Though she was a great deal less respectful of Shepard’s rank than Cortez.
“Any sign they’re detecting our approach?’ Shepard asked over the silver scalp crest as she peered through the fore transparencies. All she could see was murky shapes through the white.
“No, kid, we’re free and clear,” Aethyta responded in her husky voice as she brought the shuttle down in front of Peak 15. “Guess they’re not sending out a welcoming party in this weather.”
Shepard had transmitted a message to Port Hanshan to let them know a Spectre and her squad was doing a surprise inspection of one of their facilities, but otherwise, she had instructed Normandy to remain in orbit. Noveria’s Board of Directors, their form of government, had requested Alliance assistance after a Cerberus fighter base had been set up on the planet during the war. That had altered the Company’s position of complete autonomy, blunting their greatest weapon; litigation, but Shepard was not leaving anything to chance. She wouldn’t put it past some ambitious port authority to try to seize the Normandy just because they thought they could while the better part of Shepard’s crew was busy with Peak 15. They could request docking privileges once the operation had concluded.
“Be ready for anything,” she said, sealing her helmet and pulling her assault rifle from the harness on her back, enjoying the weight of it in her hands. It wasn’t that she liked killing. She always tried to find a way around that, but she did enjoy being a soldier. She was good at it, and it fulfilled her on a level that few others understood, though she was stepping off the shuttle with just the sort of people that did understand.
Tali and Liara flanked her on both sides while Garrus lingered briefly in the shadows of the shuttle compartment, sniper rifle scanning the landing zone as he covered the other three. The wind was wicked as snow, which always seemed to be falling here, whipped against Shepard so strongly that she staggered a bit. The atmosphere was perfectly breathable, but the full helmet protected her from the elements as well as keeping her warm. They skittered across the icy lot containing three vehicles, all sporting oversized studded tires, and made their way to the entrance of the facility.
The last time Shepard had been here, there had been a burning vehicle crashed against the main hangar door, while the facility itself had been overrun with Geth and insane rachni offspring. She didn’t anticipate anything so hostile this visit, though Cerberus scientists could be just as rabid. They died easier, though, not requiring nearly the same amount of ammo to put them down as the sentient machine race or the long-legged arachnoids.
The door access quickly gave way to Tali’s technical skill and Shepard was relieved when they were out of the wind. This area was empty of people, but contained several shipping containers, confirming Liara’s data that there were people rebuilding here.
Liara took quick scans of the shipping labels using her omni-tool, but she didn’t say anything about why she wanted the data or what she discovered in it. Her interest was piqued, however. Shepard determined that much through their bond and she threw her a questioning look that Liara studiously ignored.
She’d get it out of her later, Shepard thought complacently. Pillow talk was quite convenient for that.
She tasted exasperation, a flavor like radishes, but didn’t dare look over at Liara again in the event she burst out laughing. In the middle of the mission was hardly the time or place for it.
“Commander.”
She moved over to the door where Garrus and Tali were lurking, one on each side, weapons at the ready. Tali nodded as she joined them, indicating that she had already disabled the lock and all they had to do was enter. As they covered her, Shepard lifted her assault rifle and dashed through it, scanning her surroundings, muzzle moving with her eyes.
This was a lobby, and a rather startled receptionist let out a shriek at Shepard’s appearance, diving behind the desk which offered little cover because it was made of some sort of clear plastic. There was no one else in view and feeling a little foolish, Shepard lowered her weapon and made her way over to the desk.
“Please don’t hurt me,” the woman begged.
“Commander Shepard, Al—I’m a Spectre,” Shepard said. “I’m not going to hurt you. Please, get up.”
Cautiously, the young woman crept out from beneath the desk, using the chair to help herself up. Heavyset, with brown eyes framed with a brunette bob, she eyed Shepard suspiciously. “What do you want? I’m sure you don’t have an appointment.”
Garrus sniggered quietly and Tali made a reverberating sound of amusement. Liara merely smiled quietly.
“I’ve received reports that this is a Cerberus base,” Shepard said, trying not to look or sound apologetic. “I’m here to check it out.”
“Oh, no, we’re not Cerberus,” the young woman said earnestly as she resumed her seat. “This is Echidna & Typhon Incorporated. We’re a research and development company.”
The other three relaxed but Shepard did not. Instead, she lifted her rifle. “Well, you may or may not be aware, but Cerberus was birthed by Echidna, half woman, half snake, and fathered by Typhon, the last son of Gaia.” At the blank looks offered not only the receptionist but by her companions, as well, she shrugged. “Cerberus isn’t fooling anyone by altering their name in this fashion.” She refocused her attention on the young woman. “I want to see someone in charge.”
Wide-eyed, the receptionist nodded and touched her omni-tool, speaking into it too quietly for Shepard to hear, though if she had truly wanted to know, she would have either stepped closer or ordered her to speak up.
“How did you know that, Shepard?” Tali asked.
“When I first encountered Cerberus, I did all the research I could, including investigating the name itself,” Shepard said, cradling her assault weapon comfortably in her arms as she waited. “I’m not entirely sure why they seized on it for their organization. As I said, the word originally comes from ancient Greek mythology, regarding a three-headed hellhound that guarded the gates of the underworld. Maybe it was the three-headed part. Probably the only one who could answer that is no longer in charge.”
“The Illusive Man,” Garrus said, a bit of a growl in his voice.
“Yeah,” Shepard said. “You know, I always regretted that I couldn’t kill him more than I did.”
“You killed him? I heard he was dead, but I thought the Reapers did it.” Garrus and Tali looked at her in varying degrees of surprise. Liara, of course, was already privy to her report to the Alliance brass regarding her encounter on the Citadel when she was attempting to activate the Crucible.
“Oh, yeah, sorry, I guess I didn’t mention that before now, did I,” Shepard said, feeling sheepish again. “I forget who knows what happened on the Citadel and who doesn’t.” She paused. “Though, no one’s ever asked.”
Garrus and Tali exchanged glances. “We didn’t want to tread on any toes,” Tali admitted. “All we know is that you transported to the Citadel from London, opened the arms to allow the Crucible to dock, and then fired it. We thought that you weren’t speaking about it because of…well, because it was too traumatic to talk about.”
Shepard was bemused. “It wasn’t, not any more than usual. It was just a little…well, complicated. I promise, one of these days, we’ll all sit down over a glass of wine and I’ll tell you the whole story.” She made a face at them. “And next time, ask if you have concerns about my mental health.”
They straightened as two people appeared in the doorway at the end of the room, a woman and a man, both wearing white lab coats over light blue and black skinsuits. They didn’t boast the Cerberus logo, but they did have an emblem on the left breast of their coats that was similar in design, more simplistic and horizontal rather than vertical, but Shepard could see the Cerberus influence.
“Commander Shepard, I’m Dr. Wallace T. Stone,” a balding man with horn-rimmed glasses said, extending his hand as he approached. The woman beside him was grey haired, with hazel eyes that were bright and keen as she took in the four visitors, lingering on Tali the longest. Shepard immediately didn’t like her. “This is Dr. Hannah Buford. I understand you have some concerns.”
Shepard did not take the hand offered, instead, pinning him with a stern look. “I always have concerns when Cerberus is involved. Are you in charge?”
“I run this facility,” he said, dropping his hand as he frowned. “But I assure you, we have nothing to do with Cerberus. Where would you get that idea?”
“Please,” Shepard said, affecting a bored expression. “The name? The logo? The whole smell of scientists that like to stretch the rules of common decency to the point that I have to shoot them?”
Stone looked alarm. “Commander, there’s no need for that sort of talk,” he said. He exchanged a look with Buford. “All right, I will admit, we do have some ties to the organization that eventually became Cerberus, but we’re not them. We’re what they were initially intended to be.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, humanity first and all that,” Shepard said, not giving an inch. She glanced at her squad, the turian so brave and strong, the quarian, quirky and beautiful, the asari, the absolute love of her life, and experienced a second of pure rage. “Do you really think I would grant that viewpoint validation of any kind?”
Stone, glancing at the rest of Shepard’s team, began to blink rapidly. “I assure you, just because we’re looking out for humanity’s interests doesn’t mean we hate aliens.”
“No, you just like using us in experiments,” Garrus said, his dry sardonic wit cutting through the air like a rapier, as always.
“We do not use sentient beings in experiments,” Buford said stiffly.
“You’re just liberal in what you consider sentient,” Shepard reminded. “Like the Thorian, or the rachni.”
“That was Cerberus,” Buford argued hotly. “Not us. We existed before the Illusive Man took over and corrupted our ideals.”
Shepard took a breath, tamping down her anger. “That may be so,” she said, schooling her tone into something more conciliatory. “I’m certainly willing to give you the opportunity to prove it.”
“In what way?” Stone asked warily.
“As a Spectre agent, representing the Council, I’m requesting a complete tour of the facility,” Shepard said. “And I mean a complete tour, including a scan of your computers to let us see just what research you’re conducting. Once we’ve gone, you’ll continue to transmit reports to the Alliance base that was established here on Noveria during the war, outlining all experimental procedures, including what they intend to accomplish.”
Stone looked vaguely ill. “You know I can’t agree to that. Our stockholders’ interests must be respected. And neither the Alliance nor the Council have any authority here.”
Shepard checked her safety idly, making sure it was off. “I’m afraid I must insist,” she said. “You have to know that any ties to Cerberus are suspect. Unless you hoped that with the destruction of the relays, and Noveria’s unusual political structure, no one would notice anything until you were well on your way to recreating an organization that never should have existed in the first place.”
“If Cerberus hadn’t existed, neither would you,” Buford said suddenly, with no little heat. “You weren’t so reluctant to accept our help before, Commander. You’re alive because of us and our methods.”
And there it was, Shepard thought in satisfaction, confirmation that at least one Cerberus member was alive and well and in charge of this facility, no matter how much they might deny it.
“I didn’t exactly have any choice in the matter, and the entire time I worked with you, it was a constant struggle to maintain any sort of boundary between my doing what was right and what the Illusive Man intended me to do wrong,” she said acidly. “Besides, resurrecting me to fight the Collectors was the only halfway positive thing Cerberus has ever done, wrapped up in a host of very bad decisions, some of which include crimes against the very humanity you claim to represent. Shall we discuss Sanctuary?”
“That was unfortunate,” Stone said. He had slipped his hands into his pockets, his head down as he stared darkly at her. “Not our call.”
“Pretending to provide a haven against the war while using the refugees in experiments that turned them into husks? Unfortunate is not the term I’d use,” Shepard said, the memory of what she had found on Horizon caused her hands to tighten on her weapon. It was all she could do not to smash him in the mouth with the butt of her rifle. “It was evil, Doctor. Not just wrong or misguided, but out and out evil. There’s no way to justify what happened there. And it’s not the first time. Allowing colonists to be infected by a Thorian, assassinating an Alliance admiral, letting loose a rachni hoard on unsuspecting colonies, torturing children to generate biotics, killing and kidnapping countless individuals in the pursuit of twisted experiments…shall I go on?”
“The original intent of Cerberus…” Buford began.
“Humanity first? Even though such a slogan is dated and unrealistic in a universe full of other sentient species, many of whom just fought and died trying to protect Earth, humanity’s home? Honestly, I don’t know how you can believe your own rhetoric. Every time I dig out a Cerberus group who are cheerfully engaging in the most immoral acts, the very first thing they claim is that it’s for humanity. Except if you change that word to Reich, and slap on a few swastikas, everyone would instantly recognize you for exactly who and what you are.”
That’s when the security force appeared in the doorways around them, alerted no doubt by whatever device Stone had been fumbling with inside the pocket of his lab coat. Fortunately, Shepard had not been the only one who had noticed and when the scientists abruptly turned and ran, and the bullets began to fly, Liara slapped a biotic barrier around the squad, protecting them as they retreated to the cover of the entryway.
“Here we go,” Garrus yelled, sounding honestly enthusiastic.
Shepard was equally enthused, rifle to her shoulder, firing off concussion rounds with wild abandon, bringing down guard after guard. God, she had missed this, which might indicate something terribly wrong with her, but it was not something to think about now. In a brief break in the action, she took a break to key her omni-tool.
“Team Mako, you’re a go. Meet us at the rendezvous point.”
“What’s the plan?” Tali asked, the boon of her shotgun nearly deafening in the alcove.
“We work our way through these guys, go down three levels to where the main computer room is, upload everything we have to, and then arrest everyone left standing.” Shepard brought down another guard with a head shot. “Honestly, where do they find these mercs?”
“Some people will do anything for a price,” Liara said, firing her pistol with deadly accuracy. There was a light in her eyes, a sort of brilliant gleam that she would undoubtedly deny existed were it ever to be pointed out to her.
“Whereas, we like doing this for free,” Garrus noted. “So who’s crazier?”
Shepard couldn’t argue the point.
VI
Liara stayed on Shepard’s right flank as they descended the stairs, remembering the last time they had been in the Peak 15 facility, especially the intense fear she felt when they encountered their first rachni warrior. She felt no fear now and wondered if she should be saddened by that. Now, the weight of the pistol in her hand, the alert way she scanned her surroundings, the way she balanced lightly on her feet were all familiar sensations and yet more reminders of how far she had come from the timid archaeologist she had once been.
Shepard held her hand up, a closed fist, indicating they needed to stop. After scanning the room in front of her, she used hand signals to direct Liara to take cover on the right, Tali on the left, and Garrus to return to the catwalk above. There was no sign of anyone in the area, but Shepard trusted what her gut told her, and because it was Shepard, Liara and the rest did as well.
After taking their positions, Shepard proceeded slowly into the room while Tali keyed her combat drone and Liara readied her biotic power. All asari developed this to varying degrees, the ability to manipulate mass effect fields utilizing element zero nodules embedded in their bodies, to control them with the electrical impulses from the brain. For the asari, it was a natural evolution, and the most gifted generally entered the military, training as commandos. Liara had never trained for military work, but being with Shepard had developed her abilities to a height usually reserved for only the most powerful adepts. For other species, biotics developed when exposed to eezo dust, though not everyone exposed developed the abilities, and fewer could control them. All powers were augmented by using bio-amps, the best of which were developed on Thessia and sold throughout the galaxy.
Liara’s own device had been a gift from Shepard, an expensive, highly tuned amplifier that channeled her abilities with the precision of a laser scalpel. She could not only attack with blunt force, she could lift or throw objects, and protect with impenetrable shields. This last she made ready to throw around Shepard if necessary. Shepard’s armor produced its own shielding, of course, but if weapon fire brought it down, Liara’s would provide instant backup.
It was needed when Shepard was halfway across the room, triggering the Cerberus ambush. Her shield pinged blue as the bullets hit it, shifting to red, indicating failure as she dove for cover, but Liara’s barrier was there to keep her safe until she had reached the shelter of the cargo container. Across from Liara, Tali sent her combat drone across the room to harass the Cerberus mercenaries, the holographic construct able to fire electrical charges, while at the same time, she fired her shotgun with devastating force.
Garrus picked off his targets with precision, destroying the jamming and barrier boosters, while Shepard peppered their attackers with concussion rounds from her assault rifle. Liara used her pistol, but only sparingly, preferring to single out individuals and disable them with her abilities, lifting one into the ceiling, warping another into unconsciousness, slamming a third into the concrete wall. The firefight was loud but brief and the silence in the aftermath rang in Liara’s ears.
Tali used her omni-tool to check for life signatures now that the jammers were destroyed, indicating it was clear. As she stood up, she glanced at Liara. “When will they figure out that the first sign of our sensors being jammed means there are enemies in the area. It makes any attempt at an ambush useless?”
“Hopefully, never,” Shepard said, dryly. She walked over to the pile of bodies, checking for life signs. Most were still alive, though a couple had taken strikes in unfortunate places, like their heads or hearts, killing them despite the non-lethal ammunition. But they had made their choice and their deaths did not overly affect Liara. She had seen too many innocent victims dead at the hands of such mercenaries, and even more at the hands of Cerberus. There would be little mercy offered in this engagement on the part of the Spectre and her companions.
Shepard used her omni-tool to secure everyone who was still alive, and then motioned for the others to follow as she headed for the next staircase located on the other side of the facility. It held another ambush, and they spent the next twenty minutes painstakingly drawing out their attackers and picking them off until they had a pile of corpses collected on the landing halfway down. Liara sometimes thought it would be so much easier if bodies just disappeared once they died, especially when she had to shove aside one particularly corpulent figure as she squeezed her way past to get to the next set of stairs.
The next level of security within the corridors leading to the computer core turned out to be somewhat anti-climactic. By this time, word had spread that the mercenaries were not only fighting a Spectre, but that the agent in question was Shepard. Then there was the fact that they were being hit from behind by a Prothean, an asari with significant biotic abilities, and a tough C-Sec officer. Soon, Shepard and company were taking more prisoners than fire, and any actual hostility was limited to the die-hard Cerberus members, most of whom were scientists and not particularly handy with weapons.
As one merc said as they disarmed him and made him sit in the corner with his compatriots where they secured his wrists and arms, “Hey, no one told us we’d be fighting The Shepard.”
“Is that what they’re calling you now?” Garrus ribbed Shepard. “No more Destroyer of Reapers, Savior of the Galaxy? It’s just The Shepard?”
“Well, to be fair, the former is a mouthful,” Tali offered. “The Shepard is more succinct and descriptive. I think you should get it tattooed on your arm. Should we call you ‘The’ for short?”
Shepard dipped her head, accepting the ribbing with apparent good nature, though Liara could feel how she chafed under the weight of the nickname. “I think I preferred Lola,” she grumbled.
As they entered the main computer core of the facility, they found the other team already waiting for them. Aria had a half smile on her face, indicating that she’d truly been enjoying herself, tiny specks of blood spattered over her leather jacket, while Bailey leaned against one of the bulkheads, looking a bit bored. Javik stood with arms crossed, a stoic sort of grim satisfaction on his insect-like features.
“We have tasted victory,” he intoned.
“Yeah, so have we,” Garrus muttered. “So much so that they started surrendering.”
“That’s the better option,” Shepard reminded him. “Most of these mercs didn’t know who they hired on with and once they discovered it was Cerberus, they were more than glad to wash their hands of them.”
“What about the scientists?” Aria demanded. “Can we kill them?” She paused. “All those that are left, I mean. Otherwise, aren’t you just repeating your mistake?”
“Mistake?” Liara repeated, bristling.
Shepard held up a hand, a half smile on her face as if she were amused by Aria. Liara wished she wouldn’t be so casual about the head of Omega. Aria was dangerous on many levels, far more than the simplistic sociopathy she preferred to display to the universe. It was so much deeper than that and she hadn’t made it to where she was by being stupid or by not knowing how to play the long game. They were on their way to Omega, after all, which had been Aria’s intention all along. Liara knew Shepard could take care of herself, but she was also human, with a human’s short-lived frailties, and most of the asari she’d encountered to this point were mere maidens, only a few hundred years old. The thousand-year-old Aria was far more adept in the art of manipulation than perhaps Shepard understood.
She saw Shepard shoot her an inquiring look and knew she had picked up on her turmoil. Deliberately, she stilled her mind and offered Shepard a small smile, indicating that it was nothing serious.
“Later?” Shepard persisted.
Liara nodded shortly. Satisfied, Shepard turned her attention back to Javik and the second team. “We’ve secured the area. Have you come across any scientists named Stone or Buford?”
“We weren’t exactly taking time to introduce ourselves,” Bailey told her.
“You’d know these two,” Liara said. “They’re in charge of the facility.”
Bailey shook his grizzled head. “They’d have had a lot of firepower protecting them. There’s been no one like that. Just scientists in labs.” He paused. “Some disturbing things in those labs, by the way.”
“Such as?” Shepard eyed him keenly.
“Rachni corpses,” Bailey said. “Egg sacs.”
“We destroyed any egg sacs,” Aria added. “The last thing we need is another rachni invasion.”
“Especially if Leviathan tries to control them again,” Liara said, and looked worriedly at Shepard. “Now that the Reapers are gone, do you think they’ll make a move?”
“The Alliance put an observation station around their world after our encounter,” Shepard said. “With two more backup stations in the next system. Anything capable of creating Reapers can’t be trusted. If they make any move to leave their world, the Alliance takes them out. Don’t forget, they’re fully organic and completely vulnerable to a planet buster.”
Bailey looked back and forth between them. “Dare I ask?”
Shepard shook her head. “There were survivors from the ancient species who created the original Reaper program. They may or may not want to resume a place of dominance in the galaxy, even though they did what they could to assist us in the war.”
“Anything else we should know?” Aria said, a bit testily.
Shepard regarded her a moment, and then nodded. “Yeah, it’s come to my attention that I need to have a meeting with everyone to go over exactly what it took to defeat the Reapers. Especially if we keep running into old threats like Cerberus and their like.”
“The galaxy’s wide open now,” Garrus noted. “With the Council and their Spectre agents crippled, and their fleets still on their way back to their respective homeworlds, there’s no way to move quickly to put out wildfires in other systems. No one can take over large chunks of territory, but there may be more than a few opportunists planning to consolidate their own little piece of it.”
“As was happening here with Cerberus,” Shepard agreed. “As a Spectre, I may be putting out fires all the way to Omega.”
“That’s not such a bad thing,” Tali said. “Allows us some action at any rate.”
“It’ll slow us down,” Aria said acidly. “More than we already are traveling with the Migrant Fleet.”
Shepard shrugged. “I said I’d take you back to Omega,” she said. “I didn’t say how fast I’d get you there.” She glanced at the door. “Let’s get to the computer core and shut this facility down. Then we track down Stone and Buford.”
“We’ll talk about the rest once we’re back on the Normandy.”
VII
They discovered Buford and Stone cowering in their offices on the top floor of Peak 15. Their protective detail had surrendered by that time, making their capture simple and Noveria’s security force were happy to take custody once the Normandy docked at Port Hanshan and offloaded their captives. The head of the mercenary company even offered her apologies at being taken in by the scientists and thanked Shepard for sparing most of her men. The scientists were less grateful, especially when Noveria’s governing Board of Directors demanded reparations over Echidna & Typhon Incorporated being a front for the terrorist organization. Shepard just hoped that was the last she would see of the renegade group and that Cerberus was truly dead, once and for all.
After accepting the transfer of substantial credits to her personal account, the traditional method of thanks on Noveria, Shepard secured permission for shore leave for her crew. Port Hanshan wasn’t exactly an entertainment mecca, but after being stuck on Normandy for a few months, it was almost as good as the Silversun Strip. Those who had been involved in retaking Peak 15 were in an energized mood, ready to relax with a drink in the local hotel bar, even though they still weren’t allowed to check in. Shepard found herself at a table with Garrus, Tali, Liara, Chakwas and Joker, those who had been with her from the beginning. Nearby, Aethyta was at the bar, drinking with a group of asari commandos, while at another table, Samantha was deep in discussion with a woman Shepard recognized as Gianna Parasini, internal affairs operative for Noveria’s Board. She made a mental note to find out if Gianna was on personal time, or was on the job. If it was the latter, God only knew what her intentions toward Samantha were.
Liara noticed her glancing over there and leaned close. “Samantha is mature enough to take care of herself,” she said in a low tone.
“Not necessarily with Parasini,” Shepard grumbled. “She always has a cover beneath a cover.”
At that moment, Gianna looked over, her eyes meeting Shepard’s and she smiled faintly, tilting her glass in a subtle toast which Samantha didn’t not seem to notice. Shepard gathered herself to rise and was restrained by a hand on her forearm.
“Karin?” She regarded her medical officer in surprise.
“Let the young make their own mistakes, Shepard,” Chakwas said, dryly. “We did.”
Liara made a small sound of amusement. “I used to think I should be jealous,” she said softly. “Now I believe your interest in Specialist Traynor is just maternal.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Shepard grumbled, though she remained in her seat. “I just don’t like seeing any of my crew be taken advantage of.”
“Even if she wants to be taken advantage of?” Chakwas asked pointedly.
Tali and Garrus, who had been focused on each other, as usual, seemed to finally notice another conversation was going on. Joker, sitting in his chair and quietly observing, as was his style since EDI’s demise, picked up his glass, grinned crookedly and took a long swallow of his whiskey.
“What’s happening? Are you about to start a fight?” Garrus asked, straightening in his chair. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing,” Shepard said. “You didn’t miss anything.”
“What are we talking about?” Tali queried.
“Shepard wants to go rescue Samantha from her date,” Joker said.
“Samantha has a date?” Immediately, both Tali and Garrus sat up and stared over in that direction with as much subtlety as a pack of varren spotting prey while Shepard put her hand over her face.
“Oh, my God,” she muttered. “I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“I’m still not sure why you’re so concerned,” Liara said.
“Because Gianna’s an undercover operative,” Shepard said defensively. “And every time we run into her, she’s up to something.”
“Maybe she’s just on her own time,” Garrus said in a practical tone. “And Samantha’s an attractive woman.”
“Yes, she is,” Tali agreed, though there was a note in her voice that indicated she didn’t necessarily like that Garrus had noticed it.
“Is it any of our business?” Joker added.
“Oh, my God,” Shepard said. “Now, they’re coming over. You guys are the worst.”
Everyone at the table smiled too brightly as Gianna and Samantha approached and Shepard wanted to bang her head against the table. “Join us, please,” she managed, gesturing to the empty chairs. “How are you, Gianna?”
“I’m fine, Commander,” she said silkily. “I didn’t think I’d ever have the chance to see you again.”
“That’s pretty much the consensus.” Shepard glanced at Samantha. “Did Gianna tell you she knew me?”
“Oh, yes, she’s been telling me all sorts of stories about how you helped her in her investigations,” Samantha said. “That’s why she wants me to help with a problem she’s having.”
Shepard pinned Gianna with a look, prompting an unapologetic shrug. Samantha, looking back and forth between them, suddenly seemed to realize there was more going on than she had realized and immediately looked sheepish. “I’m sorry, Commander, have I screwed up?”
“No, Sam, you’re fine,” Shepard said with a sigh. “It’s just that Gianna here always has an agenda, which may or may not get you shot. What did you want Sam to do? She’s not weapons trained, at least, not to my satisfaction.”
Gianna affected a serious expression. “Then it’s entirely possible this would prove more dangerous than I anticipated.” She looked at Samantha. “I’m sorry, I thought since you were a member of Shepard’s crew, you’d be able to handle it.” And without so much as a glance in Shepard’s direction. “Perhaps your commanding officer could evaluate the mission and let us know.”
“Damnit, Parasini,” Shepard said, as Sam closed her eyes and dropped her head, realizing she’d been played. “If you wanted my help, why didn’t you just come to me directly instead of trying to seduce my crewmember?”
“I wasn’t trying to seduce her,” Gianna said with a touch of indignation.
“No, but I was trying to seduce you, and you knew it,” Sam said, heatedly. “Commander, I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault, Specialist,” Shepard told her. “Parasini is sneaky, but I never thought she was rubbish. Until now.”
“All right, I apologize. Sincerely. I was out of line.” Suddenly alarmed, Gianna looked at Samantha. “And I apologize to you, too. If it’s any consolation, if I were off the clock—“
“You wouldn’t be interested,” Samantha said coldly. “I get it. Commander, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be back on the ship.”
As she rose from the table, Gianna looked genuinely stricken and if it weren’t for the small wink Samantha threw Shepard’s way, the Spectre be a lot more inclined to bodily remove the Company operative from their presence. But now that Samantha had so skillfully shifted all the leverage over to her side, Shepard was more open to hearing Parasini out.
Even if the rest of her companions were not.
Everyone else, including Liara, was looking at Parasini with active dislike and not hiding it in the slightest. Gianna looked as if she had just wandered into a lion’s cage unaware and was just now realizing she had woken up some very dangerous predators indeed.
“Clearly, I’ve overstepped,” Gianna said very carefully, after a moment of terse silence. “I’ll leave you in peace.”
“You’ve already interrupted our evening,” Shepard said, wondering if she was enjoying this just a little too much. “Might as well say what’s on your mind.”
Gianna hesitated a second, and then with a resigned sound, leaned forward. “I’ve been working this investigation regarding possible weapon mod smuggling. There’s a meet tonight in the offices of Synthetic Insights.”
Shepard blinked. “Lorik Qui’in’s company?”
“Not exactly,” Gianna said. “They went out of business after he testified, but the offices were never cleared, just sealed up and put into receivership. But I got a tip that an ex-employee still uses his keycard, usually late at night.”
“And this ex-employee is now a weapons smuggler?” Liara sounded just a little skeptical.
“Honestly, I think he just gets paid to hand over his access card and look the other way while others conduct their business.”
“You want us to bust them,” Garrus said. “Why would we want to work on our evening out?”
“I suppose you wouldn’t,” Gianna said. She made a move to rise from her chair. “My apologies for disturbing your evening.”
Shepard held up a hand. “Hold on, I didn’t say I wouldn’t check it out.”
“Don’t you mean, ‘we’ would check it out?” Garrus said.
“No, I don’t think this requires everyone to come along,” Shepard said. “I can handle it.”
“You’re not going alone,” Liara said, looking at her with some alarm.
“No, I’m not, but you guys stay here, enjoy your evening. In the meantime, I’ll take the opportunity to get to know my in-laws,” Shepard said blithely. That gave Liara pause, and with a frown, she settled back into her seat, though her expression indicated that Shepard would be hearing more about her decision later. “Come on, Parasini, lead the way.”
Before the others could say anything, Shepard had jumped out of her seat and made her way over to the bar where Aethyta had just put down her drink. “Commander,” she greeted, a note of wariness in her tone. “What’s up? You need me for something?”
“Back-up,” Shepard said shortly. “I have an assignment.”
Aethyta hesitated briefly, then nodded, rising to her feet. Two other asari commanders did the same. At Shepard’s raised brow, Aethyta shrugged. “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about these two. You don’t mind if they come along, do you? I assure you, they can handle themselves.”
Shepard looked back and forth between the two, both maidens and looking as tough as asari commandos could. “Sure, okay,” she said slowly. “If that’s what you want.”
“Actra and Themis,” Aethyta introduced. “Eclipse girls, both Huntresses, worked with me on Illium and on the Citadel. They were working here when the relays went down. Hoped to catch a ride with us.”
Shepard, conscious of needing more crew, nonetheless had to be honest. “Might be a considerable while before we reach asari space,” she said as the four followed Gianna out of the hotel bar. “We’re not exactly headed in that direction, not for several months.”
“They know that.”
“It’s just so damned cold here,” one of them, Astra, offered. She had pinkish markings over her scalp crest and cheeks. Hefting an assault rifle, she looked competent and deadly. “And frankly, traveling with you beats hanging around this frozen pit in hopes of finding a ship traveling in the direction of the Athena Nebula.”
“I have all the super-cargo I need,” Shepard warned.
“They know,” Aethyta assured her. “They both have deep space experience, with degrees in engineering, astrophysics and in Themis’s case, experience with plasma alignment.”
Shepard smiled. “Great, that’ll save Daniels from pulling so many double shifts. Okay, we’ll see how you handle yourselves during this assignment. If it goes well, you can come along.”
“And the assignment is?” Themis asked in a practical tone. Shepard approved.
“Smugglers of weapon mods,” Shepard said. “We’re doing a favor for Internal Affairs.”
“Great, glad we’re leaving afterward,” Astra said. “Nobody likes Internal Affairs. They’re always lying and setting people up.”
Shepard shot a glance at Gianna who had the grace to look sheepish.
“Can’t imagine where they’d get that idea.”
VIII
Liara was a little piqued at being left behind, but she also understood Shepard’s need to spend some time with Aethyta. Not to mention that it had been close quarters for the past few months and while their living arrangements were quite congenial, everyone needed a bit of time on their own without their lover monitoring every move. The fact that she was the Shadow Broker only exacerbated that on some levels.
Tali leaned over. “Are you two fighting?” she said in a low tone as Joker and Garrus swapped stories with Dr. Chakwas.
“No, not at all. But sometimes we both need space,” Liara said. “That’s part of a healthy relationship. We not only live and work together, we do both in the confines of a very small ship.”
She couldn’t read Tali’s expression through the mask, but from the body language, she detected a bit of puzzlement. “Is that a thing?”
Liara laughed quietly. “For someone who’s spent decades working alone like me, and for Shepard who retreats to her cabin for solitude from her duties, yes, it is. But I understand how a quarian might find it odd.”
They shared a few more drinks as Liara waited for Shepard to return, and finally, realizing it was growing late, she excused herself and returned to the ship. She was lying in bed on the verge of sleep when she heard Shepard enter the cabin, moving as quietly as she could as she accessed the head where she took a quick shower before joining Liara beneath the blankets.
“Everything good?” Liara murmured quietly.
“Yeah, we picked up a couple of new crewmembers on Aethyta’s recommendation,” Shepard said, snuggling against Liara’s back as she wrapped her up in her arms. “Asari commandos who also have experience with ship duties. They were tired of the cold.”
“We’re not a cold weather species by nature,” Liara agreed sleepily. “You and Aethyta?”
“Interesting,” Shepard said. “It’s the first time I’ve seen her in action. I knew she was good, but actually fighting with her was a new experience.” She paused. “She’s scarier than I thought.”
Liara turned her head, drawing back from the beckoning depths of sleep. “How so?”
“Well, it’s not like I hadn’t seen any particular ability before,” Shepard said. “Between you and Aria, I’ve seen most of them, but she’s just so damned effortless. She barely moves a muscle and five guys are flying across the room.”
“Five?” Liara was alarmed. “Just how many were there?”
“It was a big meeting between three separate gangs,” Shepard admitted. “But nothing Aethyta and I couldn’t handle. The commandos were a bonus, but at least I got to see how they operate. They’re good, professional, competent and work well together. And honestly, the criminals now are…well, less threatening. It’s like all the clever ones fought and died in the war and all that’s left behind are the weak trying to mark territory.”
“Noveria’s always been more white collar crime,” Liara pointed out. “With mere thugs to watch their back. Probably only Cerberus could afford actual mercenaries.”
Shepard was quiet for a moment, as if contemplating that. “Am I out of line, Liara?”
That provoked a full retreat from sleep, prompting Liara to roll over so that she could look Shepard in the eyes. “In what way?”
“Thinking I should handle these things all the way to Omega rather than just get the trip over and done with as soon as possible?” Shepard exhaled, her breath soft but audible in the darkness. “Is this all there is?”
“I thought you enjoyed yourself today,” Liara noted in a practical tone.
“I did, but it’s a little…” Shepard searched for the word.
Liara helped her out, reaching up to cup her face in her palms. “You’ve saved the galaxy, and that’s a tremendous thing, but hopefully, it’s not about to be threatened in the immediate future. These smaller missions are all that remains in the aftermath. Perhaps they’re not so important in the larger scheme of things, but you’re doing good, and the citizens on Noveria have better lives for what you’ve done.”
Shepard lowered her eyes, smiling sheepishly. “Have I mentioned how nice it is to have someone who knows exactly what I’m feeling instead of trying to decipher it from what I say?”
“No, but I feel the same,” Liara said. She rested her forehead against Shepard’s. “And I’ll try to find other assignments along the way, as many as I can. It’s left the ship feeling…less claustrophobic.”
“It has,” Shepard said. She kissed Liara, slow and gentle. “I don’t think I could do this without you. I’m still learning how to be a Spectre first, and a soldier second.”
“You’ve always been a natural,” Liara assured her. “Knowing when diplomacy needs to be wielded as much as any weapon. And unlike most other Spectres, you always keep an open mind, discover both sides of each situation. Even today, you gave Cerberus the opportunity to find a path with Alliance guidance. That they chose another is on them and you did what you had to.” She drew her nose lovingly along Shepard’s, brushing against the tip in a familiar caress. “You belong out here, doing good for all species, not just for humans.”
“Thank you,” Shepard whispered. “You always know what to say.”
“It helps to be bonded,” Liara said dryly. “If you remember, before that happened I never knew what to say.”
Shepard laughed. “You used to be so cute when you were flustered.”
“And you used to fluster me on purpose.”
“Because you were so cute.”
“You’re a brute,” Liara said fondly.
“Absolutely,” Shepard said. She pulled her closer, kissing her again, and Liara basked in the sweetness of her mouth, tasting of mint fresh toothpaste. “Tired?”
“Not that tired,” Liara told her, pressing against the length of her warm body. “Never that tired? You?”
“You know how a fight gets my blood up,” Shepard murmured, hands doing the most delightful things as they traced over Liara’s body, strumming her like a finely tuned guitar. “I couldn’t wait to get back to you. I’m just sorry I didn’t take you along.”
“No, I understand. The occasional time apart is just as important as our time together,” Liara assured her. “Especially on a ship this small. Can you imagine the atmosphere amongst the crew if we were fighting?”
“Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it,” Shepard said. “But let’s not get crazy with time apart. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“You can’t imagine how cranky I was the entire time I was with Cerberus,” Shepard said. “It wasn’t just that I disliked being associated with them. It was because you weren’t there with me.”
“I know,” Liara said. She didn’t apologize for not joining Shepard. It hadn’t been the right call and she regretted it, but she couldn’t go back and change things. All she could do was appreciate being with Shepard now, having this time with her, especially when it had been so likely she would lose Shepard for good.
“Hey, I wasn’t trying to be bitchy about it,” Shepard said, picking up on the regret.
“I didn’t take it that way,” Liara said, soothingly. “Know me.”
Shepard stilled for a few seconds, obviously examining what she was detecting until she could see where the regret was directed. “Okay, sorry, still learning.” She kissed her. “Still a process.”
“Yes,” Liara murmured, nuzzling into her throat. “We’ll get there.”
“Perfect harmony,” Shepard said.
“Nothing is perfect,” Liara warned. “Even long term bond pairings do not always succeed.”
“Then it’s just as well you only have to stick it out with me for a few years,” Shepard said, as she laughed. “An asari on Illium said that to me about the difference between pairing with a krogan, and pairing with a human. That pairing with a krogan was a much harder decision.”
“Oh, I don’t think I like where this conversation is headed,” Liara said, which made Shepard smile, though it was touched with wistfulness.
“That, I can tell,” she said. “As soon as human lifespan or anything related to it is brought up, you get this feeling in your head. Antipathy. No, stronger. Revulsion? Tastes like onion.”
“It’s because I just got you back,” Liara said seriously. “I hate contemplating the reality of losing you again.”
“Okay,” Shepard said gently, kissing her on the forehead. “It’s okay.”
“You must think me childish,” Liara said, ashamed. “The equivalent of putting my hands over my ears and singing.”
“No, I get that this is a tough subject for you,” Shepard said. “And honestly, while it’s one we’re going to have to tackle at some point, it doesn’t have to be now. It doesn’t even have to be soon. We have plenty of time.”
Liara knew that wasn’t true. Time had a way of slipping by so quickly, lost moments that escaped without notice. But that sort of thinking made her heart hurt and that was also a waste, especially when she had Shepard in her arms, so warm and willing and wanting.
“I love you,” she whispered. “So much.”
“I love you, too.”
“Show me.”
Shepard looked at her for a few seconds, searching her eyes, and then she kissed her, deeply, openly, as if trying to pour her whole soul into her. Liara basked in the sensation of her body against hers, the way her skin, so soft and smooth, slid over hers, the yielding curves contrasting with the strength of her muscles. Her hands, so tender in their regard, so firm in their passion, so dexterous in their desire. Liara found it difficult to breath and wondered what she had done to be so fortunate. White flashes of biotic energy ghosted around them as her nervous system became in tune with Shepard’s, building in intensity even as the pleasure did.
With an effort, she opened her eyes, meeting the loving gaze, sapphire eyes wide and wondering. “Embrace eternity,” she whispered and opened her mind, welcoming Shepard in, joyfully enfolding her thoughts into her own, taking them to that place of infinite bliss.
Afterward, as they lay in mutual satisfaction, tangled languidly amid the twisted sheets, she rested her head on Shepard’s breast and listened to the steady throb of her heart beneath her cheek. Shepard stoked Liara’s scalp crest lightly, running her fingertips along each ridge and crevice, soothing and pleasurable at the same time.
“Do you regret not returning to Thessia?” Shepard asked softly.
Liara considered the question carefully. “If you had not come back to me, that was where I would have gone,” she admitted. “Joined the asari fleet on their return to the Athena Nebula and helped out where I could on the homeworld. But you did come back to me and my place is at your side.”
“I didn’t even consider heading the other way,” Shepard said, remorse coloring her tone. “I could have left the Alliance to their own devices but I didn’t have to head for the Terminus Systems. I could have headed for Palavan and Thessia first. I should have asked you.”
“You did ask me,” Liara assured her. “You asked me to come with you. If I really needed to return to Thessia, I would have said so then and provided you with another option.” She patted her on her stomach. “Do you really think I don’t have a mind of my own?”
“No, I know you have a mind of your own,” Shepard said drily. She paused. “Are you still worried about Aria?”
Liara sighed. “I’m keeping an eye on her.”
“Do you have her quarters monitored?”
That took a bit longer to answer. “Yes,” she said, finally.
“And?”
“And what?”
“Anything I need to know about?”
“Not yet,” Liara said, dissatisfaction so heavy in her tone that Shepard laughed out loud.
“I think she really wants to get back to Omega,” she said. “Enough that she’s not about to cause any trouble and find herself stranded on a planet in Attican Traverse.”
“I hope so,” Liara said. “I most certainly hope so.”
IX
Shepard was perusing a tablet when she entered the tiny room reserved for special communications, surprised to find it already occupied, looking up when she heard the voices. Wondering why Samantha hadn’t warned her that the quantum comm system was in use, an apology trembled on her lips that immediately died when she saw it was Aethyta and that she was talking to three asari. Displayed on different screens, indicating they were in different locations, it was probable that they were even on different worlds. Shepard frowned when she heard Liara’s name mentioned and instead of making a quick exit, she remained where she was, discreetly concealed in the shadow of the entrance.
“We need the Shadow Broker eliminated,” one Matriarch said. Her markings were distinctive, white slashes around her eyes and down her cheeks and chin. Shepard recognized her as Irissa, a powerful matriarch at the head of Thessia’s capital city. Shepard was surprised she was still alive considering how hard the Reapers had hit Thessia. On the other hand, the rich and powerful always had a way of finding convenient holes in which to hide that the rest of the population didn’t have access to. “The position holds too much power in relationship to the rest of the galaxy. We agreed that if she became too much of a problem, she would be dealt with.”
“I’ve been monitoring her. She poses no threat to the asari. In fact, I’m sure you know how large a contribution she’s made to the war effort and how much Thessia owes to her.”
Aethyta was being far more circumspect in her language than was usual. This must be serious. Shepard knew the asari government had tasked Aethyta with spying on Liara to make sure she didn’t cause trouble for them in her role as the Shadow Broker. Of course, now that Liara knew the secret the asari matriarchs had been keeping regarding the Prothean VI that had formed most of their society over the millennia, it must have left them unsettled, perhaps even enough to decide the universe was better off without her. Shepard felt anger, hot and deadly, stir in the pit of her stomach.
“We understand how your sympathies would lie with your daughter,” Trevos, the representative to the Galactic Council, offered up. Shepard was relieved to see her. She hadn’t heard anything from the Council since the Citadel had been overrun. “However, the fact remains, as the Shadow Broker, Liara T’Soni is privy to information that no mere maiden should ever be privy to.”
“Then need I remind you to whom my daughter has bonded?” Aethyta said acidly. “Commander Shepard will not take kindly to any move made against Liara.”
“Is that an actual threat?” Lidanya, head of the asari navy and captain of the Destiny Ascension, the most powerful dreadnought in the galaxy, asked with a concerned frown.
“Yeah, it is, considering that should any harm come to Liara, she would make it her personal mission to hunt down whoever was responsible and deal with them.”
“What could one human hope to achieve against the premier race in—” Irissa began.
“The one human,” Aethyta said, her exasperation clear, “Who united an entire galaxy, including the Krogan and the Rachni. Who cured the genophage and killed a thresher maw on Tuchanka, while later using the mother of them all to bring down a Reaper. Who killed Saren, wiped out the Collectors, brought the quarians back their homeworld, and resurrected a Prothean. The same human who personally fired the Crucible that killed every damned Reaper and won the war. The one person who the entire galaxy is now referring to as The Shepard. Do you really want to get on her bad side?”
“She’s only human. She won’t live forever and neither will you, Aethyta,” Irissa said coldly, even though the other two were suddenly looking a bit queasy at the reminder of Shepard’s accomplishments. “In fact, you’ve nearly reached your natural end. Do you really want to hasten it?”
“Really, that’s your plan, wait until Shepard and I die of old age?” Aethyta laughed out loud, scornfully, with an acid edge. “The Collectors killed her, Irissa, and all that did was piss her off. Now, thanks to Cerberus’s cybernetic implants, she’ll probably live forever. I wouldn’t count on her dying anytime soon. In fact, I wouldn’t count on anything because I’ve just become aware that Shepard is standing right behind me and has probably heard every damned thing that we’ve said.”
Caught, Shepard took the ball and ran with it, stepping forward so that she would appear in the transmission.
“Aethyta is correct, I did hear,” Shepard said, setting her jaw. “Let’s be clear, the asari did not come off particularly well during the war. After Earth and Palavan were attacked, you refused to attend a diplomatic summit to figure out a way to fight the reapers. Worse, you held back crucial information that would have assisted in the construction of the Crucible and brought an end to the war that much sooner. The Alliance, the salarians and the turians are not going to forget that anytime soon. Not to mention how the rest of the galaxy will react when they discover the asari possess a Prothean device that is the true source of your dominance in galactic politics. The other powers have always been resentful of your influence, not to mention the krogan, the hanar, the drell, the elkor and the volus, all of whom are ready to take their rightful place as full Council members after their contribution to the war effort.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “You went all in on the long game with that one and only now will you see how much it will cost you. The galaxy has altered, and its time you caught up.”
She held up a finger as Irissa opened her mouth to speak, stopping her in her tracks. “I know who you all are, now.” She looked around at the displays, pinning them all with her most severe gaze. “You dare threaten the person I love most in this universe? You will not touch Liara. You will, in fact, do everything in your power to aid her if she ever asks and you will do so for the rest of her life, because if you don’t, I will end you and everything you hold dear. That is not a threat. That is a promise, the same kind of promise I made to end the Reapers. Ask them how well I keep my promises.
“We understand, Commander,” Trevos said, and she managed a weak smile. “I’m sure the Circle of Matriarchs now realize the true nature of the situation.”
“We do,” Matriarch Lidanya said stiffly. “You have always conducted yourself honorably, Commander Shepard. I trust that will continue in any future dealings.”
“If the asari do the same, Matriarch,” Shepard said, intentionally injecting a note of respect in her tone now that she had the upper hand.
“We’ll see to it,” Lidanya said. There was a pause, and she leaned forward in the display. “Irissa?”
“I can’t believe we’re granting any credence to a human’s threats,” Irissa said, anger burning hot in her eyes.
“This human?” Trevos exhaled visibly. “You better believe we are.”
“Don’t worry, we have things under control, Commander,” Lidanya said. “We will cooperate fully with the Shadow Broker from this moment forward.”
“I hope so, Matriarch,” Shepard said. “For your own sake.” She cut the feed, aware of the impression that would leave, and turned to look at Aethyta. “You had to know I would find out about this. Even if I hadn’t walked in on you, this is my ship. And Liara monitors everything.”
“You don’t think that was part of the plan?” Aethyta said, dryly. “Trevos and Lidanya have always possessed a little common sense, as do their allies in the Matriarchy. It’s Irissa who’s been pressing for this move against Liara, and it’s Irissa who will now be brought to heel by the other matriarchs, spurred on by the knowledge that now you’re involved.” She shrugged. “It takes a while to get a matriarch moving in the right direction. Sometimes you have to light a fire under her ass.”
“Ah, so using the comm system so close to the time that I contact Admiral Hackett for my weekly update was planned.”
“Kid, just cause I’m old, doesn’t mean I’m senile.”
“Do asari develop senility?”
“No, but we can get set in our ways,” Aethyta said in a more serious tone. “So much so that it can blind us to what’s really going on. I suspect Irissa is the one most threatened by the Shadow Broker because she’s the one with the most to hide. Now that she knows she can’t hide any longer, there’ll be no more talk of trying to control Liara.”
“Good.” Shepard exhaled, feeling a tension leave her shoulders, a weight she hadn’t even realized she’d been carrying. “What about that other thing you said?”
Aethyta looked at her blankly. “What other thing?”
“About me living forever because of my cybernetic implants,” Shepard said. “Did you mean that?”
Aethyta shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, we die of old age because our parts wear out. The more we take care of them, the longer we live. That’s why humans have been extending their lifespans so much. It wasn’t that long ago that you barely reached salarian life expectancy.”
“Long ago? It was seven hundred years,” Shepard retorted. “During the 1500’s.”
“Exactly. I had just broke up with my first hanar back then,” Aethyta pointed out, and Shepard was jolted again by the reality of a thousand-year lifespan.
When Aethyta was born, it was the 13th century on Earth, the high middle ages in Europe while the Mongol Empire stretched across Asia. Humans barely reached thirty-six, brought down by plague, war and generally bad living conditions. Now, in 2184, humans averaged a hundred and fifty plus years because of advances in medicine. Shepard had never really considered what being brought back to life by Cerberus, what having most of her organs replaced by technologically advanced cybernetics, really meant in terms of prolonging her life.
“So, you think I could live longer than a hundred and fifty, give or take?”
“Don’t see why not,” Aethyta said. “Assuming you don’t get killed by doing something stupid, and you reach old age, then yeah, you probably have more time than the average human. At least, that’s the theory.”
“Which means Liara and I could spend the rest of our lives together, not just the rest of mine?” Shepard said wonderingly.
“Let’s not get crazy,” Aethyta pointed out. “It’s not like we mate for life or anything. Living a long time is one thing. Marriage is another. Even the best marriages rarely last more than a few hundred years. It’s just too long to spend with only one person. And you’re still human, regardless of how long you might live and humans can’t help but think in the short term. Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
“Fine, okay, I get you,” Shepard said, throwing up her hands defensively. “I guess it’s enough to know that Liara’s no longer in danger.”
“Not from the asari government at any rate,” Aethyta said. “But she’s still the Shadow Broker.”
“Yeah, I know,” Shepard said. “Part of me wishes she’d give it up, but I also see how much she enjoys it, more than being an archaeologist. She says it fits, that it’s her dream job.”
“Once you discover something you really enjoy doing, it’s hard to say no to it,” Aethyta agreed. “But she’s young and still has a lot to learn. Who knows what her dream job will be a century from now?”
Shepard felt her head start to hurt. Aethyta was right, she still thought in short terms, especially compared to asari. Liara was, relatively speaking, only a young adult, barely having explored all her options, whether in life or when it came to love. Shepard should just be happy to have whatever time she could with her, and not worry about what might come.
But what did that mean when it came to having all those little blue children?
X
Liara entered the captain’s quarters, unsurprised to discover Shepard already there, sitting on the sofa in the lower level, the half-eaten remains of a meal on the coffee table next to several tablets. Her head lifted as she heard Liara’s approach and she smiled that smile, her eyes lightening, as if Liara was a most unexpected but greatly desired present. It warmed Liara through and through.
“Hey, love, what’s new?”
Liara slipped out of her uniform tunic and hung it neatly in the closet. “I was about to ask you the same thing. Earlier today, I detected a considerable surge of anger.” She turned to Shepard, regarding her closely. “Did something happen?”
Shepard made a bit of a face, a mix of chagrin and exasperation. “You mean you don’t already know? I thought you had this place wired from stem to stern.”
“Just because I can monitor everything doesn’t mean I should monitor everything,” Liara said, a bit primly. “I do try to stay away from things that don’t concern me.”
“Then you missed one because this did concern you,” Shepard said wryly. She proceeded to explain the conference call she had walked into between Aethyta and the matriarchs. Liara was alternately amused, annoyed and angered.
“Hmm, I’ll need to investigate Irissa a bit further,” she said thoughtfully, once Shepard had finished.
“Down to her toenails,” Shepard agreed. She leaned back against the sofa cushions, spreading her arms along the top in open invitation, one Liara immediately accepted, sitting down and scooting close to her lover. The weight of Shepard’s arm across her shoulders was like coming home, as were the lips nuzzling against her temple. “Other than that, how was your day?”
“Quiet,” Liara said, finally relaxing, and realizing only after the fact how tense she had become. “I keep searching for some mission for us.”
“We’ll find one,” Shepard told her. “In the meantime, maybe you need to relax a little. After all, this is what we hoped for in the aftermath. Some time to ourselves, some time to feel…ha, I was going to say human again. Asari, again. Maybe you need a hobby, something other than being the Shadow Broker twenty-four-seven.”
“A hobby?”
“Yeah, you know, like chess or something.”
“I think that between you and Samantha, I wouldn’t stand a chance.”
“I see, so if you can’t be the best, then there’s no point in even making the attempt?”
“Have you met me?”
Shepard laughed out loud. “Still, the point is to relax, not take up another area of study that will suck you even deeper in. Something not to occupy the mind, but will allow you to relax while you’re doing it.”
Liara rested her hand on Shepard’s upper thigh. “We both know I already have that kind of hobby. One in which I’m becoming rather skilled.”
“Don’t I know it,” Shepard said with an easy grin. “But I always thought that was more of a calling than a hobby. You need something that’s just for you.”
Liara sighed. “I can’t disagree, but I’ve never been the sort for frivolous pursuits. I either study or work, and that’s been the way it is for my whole life.” She paused. “Until I met you, then it was study, work and fight.”
“Expanding one’s horizons. That’s what I do.” Shepard shot her a wicked grin and kissed her ear. “But let’s come up with something else.”
“You’re rather serious about this.” Liara drew back a little so she could look at her. “Why?”
A thoughtful expression crossed Shepard’s face. “Because for as long as I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you do anything fun, and while events have forced you onto this path of sacrifice and duty, you don’t have to stay on it any more. You don’t have anything to prove, and you don’t owe anyone anything. You can do what you want. Surely, there must be something that you always wanted to try and never had the time?”
Liara considered it for a moment, trying to force her mind along different avenues. “No,” she said finally. “I walk this path of my own free will. I could have walked away any time.” She hesitated. “I could have walked away from everything after you died. I chose not to.”
Liara was the reason Shepard had been revived after her death at the hands of the Collectors, had been the one to track down her body and turn it over to Cerberus for the Lazarus Project. The reminder made Shepard wince a little. “Point taken. So, a hobby just isn’t in the cards?” She snorted. “No pun intended.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Liara conceded. “I just haven’t given it any thought. I will. I promise.”
Shepard pulled her close and kissed her lovingly. “All I can ask. Speaking of hobbies, Sam and I are getting together tomorrow night. Is that all right?”
“Are you asking me, or telling me?”
Shepard exhaled audibly. “Informing you?” she offered weakly.
Liara smiled. “I’ll make myself scarce.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Believe me, anything would be better than watching you two play chess. It’s like…what is it you’ve told me…it’s like ‘watching paint dry’.”
“I can’t argue,” Shepard said with a laugh as she hugged her. “Hey, have you eaten? We can pop down to the mess hall.”
Liara glanced at the plate on the coffee table. “You’ve already eaten.”
Shepard shrugged. “Just a sandwich, a couple of hours ago. I could eat again.”
“A pity we can’t order in,” Liara noted, lowering her tone and leaning closer to Shepard who smiled.
‘Yeah, but we no longer have any more low-level Alliance crewmen that would bring it up to us. Guess we’ll have to get it ourselves.”
Liara kissed her and then drew away. “Very well. Let us see who else will be joining us.”
Down in the mess hall, two decks below, Liara and Shepard discovered half the crew had gathered for supper. Aethyta and the asari commando, Actra, good-naturedly made room for Liara at the table while Shepard went off to gather their meals.
Liara noticed Samantha seated on Actra’s far side. The comm specialist had been spending more than a little time in the asari’s company and Liara wondered if it was more than Samantha merely making the newcomer feel welcome. Judging from the color darkening Samantha’s cheeks, she suspected romance was in the offering. She was glad. Samantha was a nice woman, and she wanted good things for her, especially if it would blunt the crush she nurtured for Shepard.
Across from her, Javik ate his meal stoically, seeming to be alone even as he was surrounded by chattering crewmembers. But at least he was choosing to take his meals in the mess hall now. It was an evolution from remaining in his quarters when he wasn’t on duty, refusing to mingle with the others. Perhaps by the time the trip was finished, he’d be talking to people. It reminded her of the book she was supposed to be working on with him. Would that be considered a hobby? Or just more work? Liara suspected Shepard would consider it the latter.
Still, she did understand what Shepard was trying to say when she brought up the topic of hobbies. Liara would be the first to admit she was a bit of a workaholic, and finding some form of relaxation would be beneficial. Perhaps music. She had enjoyed learning to play a song on the piano, or at least, found it less tedious than simply remaining trapped in a habitat as a sandstorm raged. She wondered where she could find a small, portable piano. The Normandy was surrounded by the Migrant Fleet. Perhaps there was something similar for purchase.
She brought it up with Shepard after their meal, once they were in the elevator heading up to their quarters.
“You should talk to Veetor’Nara,” Shepard said as they stepped out into the corridor. “He’ll be able to track one down if there’s any available.”
“It occurs to me that we do not take enough advantage of traveling with the quarian fleet,” Liara said. “I know they perform plays on various ships, as well as provide the equivalent to traveling taverns with musical acts.”
“You’re right. Did you want to see something in particular?”
Liara shot her a sideways look as they stepped down to their bed. “Are you asking me out?”
Shepard, in the process of shrugging out of her vest and shirt, paused in surprise. “I guess I am. We haven’t really done much dating, have we?” She dropped her clothes on the chair and clad only in her bra, she walked around the bed and pulled Liara into a warm embrace. “May I have the pleasure of your company this Friday night?”
“I would be honored,” Liara said formally, and then smiled as Shepard laughed and kissed her.
Then kissed her again, deeper, tightening her hold on her. Desire sparked in Liara, though she wasn’t entirely sure how much of it was her own emotion and how much of it was Shepard. Not that it mattered. Liara had not always been a sensual person, but now, she couldn’t get enough of her bondmate. The very sight of Shepard was enough to make her pulse accelerate and her respiration increase measurably. To have her lips and hands on her nearly made her dizzy.
“Let’s get you out of this,” Shepard murmured as she worked the fastening of Liara’s outfit.
Liara slipped her fingers beneath Shepard’s sports bra, pulling it over her head and tossing it aside, uncaring where it landed, too focused on running her fingertips over Shepard’s small, enticing breasts, teasing the nipples with gentle fingertips. Meanwhile, Shepard was removing Liara’s uniform with skillful urgency, hands avid in their caress as she guided Liara onto the bed.
Afterward, Liara buried her face in the crook of Shepard’s neck and shoulder, inhaling the warm scent of sweat and satisfaction. The echoes of their meld remained in her mind, blissful and comforting, and she hugged Shepard to her closely, feeling as if she could remain there forever.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“Love you, too,” Shepard responded sleepily. She kissed the top of Liara’s scalp crest. “You’re right, you know.”
“What?”
“You’ve become really good at this.”
Liara chuckled. “Go to sleep.”
Shepard’s laughter lingered like the sweetest of strawberries long after she had dozed off, and Liara savored it until finally, she followed her bondmate into a deep, delicious slumber.
XI
“Shepard!”
Pausing, Shepard tried not to sigh as she turned to see Aria appear from behind some cargo in the shuttle bay, wishing she had chosen another time to upgrade her weaponry. While Omega’s queen bee had been relatively quiet thus far in the journey, aside from a few pointed grumbles, Shepard had been waiting for an outburst of discontent for a while.
“Something I can do for you, Aria?” She kept her expression pleasant, not only because she wanted to keep things calm but also because she knew it tended to piss Aria off. She continued to work on her assault rifle, fine tuning the infrared scope.
“How much longer are we going to maintain this pace? Stay with the Migrant Fleet?” Once Aria reached Shepard, she did her best to loom over her. “Or do you plan on the Normandy becoming a generational ship?”
“What’s wrong, Aria?” Shepard said flippantly as she reassembled her weapon. “Afraid you’ll die of old age before you get there?”
“Frankly, yes.”
Shepard snorted. “You know, I’m going to tell you what I told Liara, though for different reasons. You need a hobby. Something to occupy yourself. That, or learn something about the ship so that you can take on some duties.”
“I’m not one of your lackeys, Shepard.”
Shepard felt a spark of anger in the pit of her belly, though she refused to allow it to color her tone. “No, right now you are super-cargo, contributing nothing and using up resources. Even Actra and Themis are more useful, and they only joined us a couple of months ago. Not to mention that Narl is working his ass off in engineering while you do nothing. It occurs to me that it needs to change.”
Aria paused, her eyes narrowing. “Are you threatening me?” Her tone had dipped dangerously.
Shepard laughed out loud, which clearly, Aria hadn’t expected, judging from her expression. “No, I’m not threatening you, I’m nagging you. You need to start pitching in beyond joining the occasional work crew just so you can stand around and look bored.”
“I contribute,” Aria said, and now her tone was a touch sullen.
“Not enough.”
Aria glared at her as Shepard stared back, not flinching. It was the matriarch who broke the gaze first. “You know, I’ve tried to find a weakness in your crew since leaving Alliance space,” she said finally, much to Shepard’s surprise. “Tried to find anyone who might not be as loyal as they could be, who might be bought with the right incentive. A colossal waste of time.”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been trying to figure out how you do it. How you manage to inspire such devotion and finally, I figured it out.” Aria’s jaw moved, as if she was tasting something unpleasant. “You seem to have convinced these people that you would die for them.”
“I probably would,” Shepard said easily. “In fact, you might want to talk to Joker sometime.”
“Why would I want to talk to that fragile little troll?”
Shepard swallowed back her first retort and instead, pinned Aria with a look. “What do you really want, Aria? You know that even if we broke off from the quarians now, we’re still looking at a few months before we reach Omega. And when we go out on our own, we’ll be at our most vulnerable, one ship alone, without backup. It makes sense to stick with the fleet until the last possible moment before breaking away.”
Aria was silent for a moment, then made a sound, a sort of mingled snort of annoyance and acceptance. “Fine,” she said. “Here, give me that.”
She took Shepard’s rifle, made some adjustments and handed it back. “These scopes are always slipping out of focus. You should use something better.”
“Thanks,” Shepard said as she peered through it. The view was better than it had ever been and it sparked a notion. “You know a lot about weapons, don’t you? Acquiring, adapting and modifying them, finding new types.”
“I’ve had my moments over the years,” Aria admitted. She paused, seeming to consider it. “In fact, with my experience, I’m probably better than anyone you have on board, except possibly Aethyta.”
“How do you feel about making that your position on the ship? Taking care of our weapons, I mean, finding us better ones, and tracking down mods to give us the advantage?”
Aria regarded her suspiciously. “You’d put me in charge of your armory?”
“We don’t have an armory,” Shepard said. “That’s the point. Everyone looks after their own weapons but not everyone has your skill. And we no longer have access to arms dealers to bring in new stock so we need to take good care of what we got. If people can come to you and improve what they have, could you provide that service?” Shepard wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing, but she needed to find something for Aria to do, something where she thought she might be formulating an advantage, even if she wasn’t.
“I suppose so,” Aria said. She had stilled her face, making her expression impassive, but uncertainty lingered in her eyes. Shepard could work with that.
“Good. I’ll let the crew know that they can come to you with requests for any modifications they might require. It’s up to you to find them, either from the Migrant Fleet or whatever planets we come across. In fact, if you want to take any side trips, let me know and I’ll authorize a course alteration.”
“And how would we pay for that?”
“Spectre credit line and the barter system. You can access our inventory and see what can be traded.”
Aria’s eyes suddenly widened. “You’re making me your quartermaster.”
“Yeah, I guess I am,” Shepard said. “Your immediate supervisor will be Aethyta. She’s been handling that on top of all the other duties she’s taken on. She’ll probably be grateful.”
“That will be a first,” Aria said dryly. “She certainly wasn’t grateful when I gave her the night of her life.”
Shepard froze. “You and Aethyta? Oh, man, I can’t tell you how very queasy I am right now.”
“It was centuries ago,” Aria said dismissively. “And very brief. Hardly worth mentioning.”
“Then why mention it?”
Aria smiled that slow, deadly smile. “Because it makes you uncomfortable, of course.”
Slinging her rifle over her shoulder, Shepard managed a weak smile. “We have a staff meeting tomorrow morning. Feel free to sit in.”
Which made Aria’s eyes narrow again and allowed Shepard to feel a bit better as she got on the elevator. She keyed it for the loft and worried her bottom lip as it ascended, worried that she had made a mistake. On the other hand, she consoled herself, making Aria her quartermaster would liven things up considerably, and that would alleviate some of the boredom.
When she reached her quarters, she stowed her rifle and went into the head, taking a quick shower. Samantha would be coming by soon for their weekly chess match and she wanted to be ready. Not that she needed to dress up or anything like that for Samantha, but she looked forward to their evenings that not only broke up the monotony of the journey to Omega, but also provided a fresh perspective that she didn’t get from anyone else on the ship. Samantha was smart and funny and always had something new to offer Shepard, a bit of below decks gossip or some news from the various communication signals she monitored as part of her duties as comm officer. Sam heard what was going on in the rest of the galaxy before anyone else and Shepard was always the second to know.
That wasn’t always the case with Liara. Samantha usually couldn’t wait to share. Liara sometimes made it seem that if she wasn’t getting paid for the information, she didn’t necessarily offer it up, not even to her bondmate. Part of being the Shadow Broker, Shepard knew, but one of the more irritating parts.
She had some hot cocoa and snacks made by the time there was a knock on the door. Samantha’s smile was bright and dazzling as she entered the commanding officer’s quarters, not only indicative of her personality, but also of the great care she gave to it, which included the use of a toothbrush that cost almost 6000 credits. An absurd amount, but the device had once allowed them to break into the Normandy after it had been hijacked by Shepard’s clone, so Shepard didn’t begrudge the young lieutenant the indulgence.
Sweeping down the stairs, Sam immediately took a seat on the sofa, looking down at the chessboard laid out on the coffee table. The set had once belonged to General Oleg Petrovskey, and had been a gift from Aria after they had retaken Omega from him. Shepard sat down opposite her in the armchair.
“So, tell me, Specialist Taylor, what’s going on with you and Actra?” she demanded, not wasting any time and was immediately rewarded with a deep blush that darkened Samantha’s olive skin to a formidable degree.
“What? How do you know about that?” Samantha demanded, staring at Shepard with a mix of outrage and embarrassment.
“I didn’t, for sure,” Shepard said with great satisfaction. “At least, not until just now. I just noticed some sparks last night at dinner.”
“God, are we that obvious?” Sam put her hand over her face. “We just started…well, not dating because that’s practically impossible on a space ship, but spending some time together. Hanging out. You know.”
“Did the deed yet?” Shepard asked blandly, just to see the blush again as she sipped her cocoa, greatly amused.
But Samantha didn’t blush. Instead, she became very serious and leaned forward, regarding Shepard with big, dark eyes. “I wanted to talk to you about that,” Samantha said. “I just didn’t know how to bring it up. I’m so glad you did.”
Suddenly, Shepard got a bad feeling. “Bring up what?” she said, cautiously.
“About what it’s like to make love with an asari.”
“What?” Shepard felt as if she’d been hit by a two-by-four.
Samantha spread out her hands. “I don’t know who else to talk to. I thought you might know better than anyone because of your relationship with Liara.” She paused, seeming to search for the right words. “It’s not as much anatomy and what goes where so much as it is how it goes where.” She straightened her shoulders. “I need advice on technique.”
Shepard stared at her, frozen, mug halfway to her lips. “Technique?”
“Yeah, I don’t want to fumble around,” Sam said. “I want her to feel like I know what I’m doing. I want to learn how to make love to an asari, not just how it should go mechanically.”
She pinned Shepard with a pleading look. “Can you teach me?”
XII
Liara looked up, frowning as she felt the surge of panic go through her. She’d never felt that from Shepard, never felt such an unexpected sense of helpless anxiety and without thinking, she was pulling up Shepard’s location and activating the monitors to find out exactly what had happened to her bondmate. She blinked when the display revealed Shepard was still in her quarters with Samantha for their usual chess night, which was why Liara was working late in the first place, allowing her mate the space to interact with her friends.
Except that Shepard and Samantha weren’t playing chess. Samantha was seated on the sofa, leaning forward in an anxious pose, while Shepard was pacing animatedly about the quarters. Quickly, Liara keyed the sound.
“—sure I should be the one to ask,” Shepard was saying.
“I don’t know who else to ask,” Samantha said, visibly drooping. “Dr. Chakwas was very helpful when it came to anatomy, but she admitted she didn’t know how to approach the actual physical act.”
“Then ask an asari,” Shepard sputtered. “Any of them would be glad to help.” She paused. “Well, maybe not Liara. She’s always been surprisingly prudish about that sort of thing, but Aethyta would be glad to tell you. Hell, she’d insist on it.”
Samantha exhaled. “I don’t need the asari perspective, Commander. I need the human one. If I were an asari wanting to know how to please a human, then I’d ask them. But I want to know how to please Actra.”
Liara sat back in her seat, mouth falling open though she began to understand the sense of panic that had flooded Shepard. She also knew she should probably cut the feeds at this point, but her insatiable need to know everything, undeniably a weakness, was hard to resist. Despite her better nature and her conscience screaming in her head, she continued her access to information that wasn’t necessarily any of her business.
Shepard ran her hands over her face, clearly torn between wanting to help her friend and flee the area as quickly as possible. “All right,” she said, resignation keen in her tone. “I get it, I guess. And I suppose I might have wanted to take advantage of the same opportunity, if I had it. But are you sure you don’t want to wing it? I mean, discovery can be part of the fun.”
“Maybe if she hadn’t been around for three hundred years,” Samantha said. “I just don’t want to be fumbling around like a teenager. I want to make it good for her, too.”
“It’s usually always good for asari,” Shepard said. “You have to be pretty incompetent not to make it happen for them. They just have so many…um, erogenous zones. Back of their head, the neck, middle of the back, down...Well, there’s a lot.”
Samantha just stared at her forlornly and Shepard threw up her hands. “Fine,” she said as she took a seat opposite Samantha. “But you will never tell anyone I told you this,” she said. “And we will never speak of it again.”
“I promise, Commander,” Samantha said earnestly.
“Okay, so they’re built a lot like us up top,” Shepard said, falling into an even, somewhat detached tone, as if she were instructing Samantha on the best way to disassemble a weapon. Liara tried not to giggle. “The breasts and nipples all work the same. Don’t know if yours likes it hard or soft, but that’s easy enough to figure out during the warmup.”
“All right,” Samantha said. She looked as if she wanted to take notes but didn’t dare break the spell by digging out pen and paper. Liara did giggle this time, a mirthful titter that escaped her chest.
“It’s the azure that’s the tricky part,” Shepard continued.
“How so?”
“Well, it’s blue, for one thing,” Shepard told her. “That can take a little getting used to, though to be fair, I’m sure all our pink is a bit off-putting in the beginning.”
It was, Liara agreed readily.
“And you know about the inverting and protruding bit,” Shepard said, somewhat anxiously.
Samantha frowned. “I admit, that’s where I got a little hazy,” she said. “I tried to picture it in my mind but it’s difficult. It’s like a vagina or a penis, depending on what she wants to do?”
“No, it’s dependent on what you want to do,” Shepard said. She leaned forward, hands dangling between her knees as she pinned Sam with a look, indicating this was serious. Liara covered her mouth with her hand, shaking with silent laughter. “It’s not like that at all. Okay, let’s start from the beginning. When you finally get their clothes off and look down there, it’s like you’re not even sure they have any at all. Like she’s a big blue Barbie doll.”
“Whoa, what?” Samantha reared back, eyes wide. Liara peered at the screen through spread fingers, giggling harder.
“Everything’s tucked inside their slit, and you have to get up close and personal before you can even find it. It’s not hanging out there like everyone else’s.”
“Women don’t exactly hang out,” Samantha said. Liara hugged herself, rocking back and forth. Humans. They were so very funny on occasion.
“Compared to them, we do,” Shepard told her. “There’s no hair, but when it’s inert, the slit is so thin, it’s barely visible. Maybe because there’s no hair. You know, to protect things and keep ‘em warm.”
Liara pushed back from her desk to give her space to double over, developing a stich in her side.
“Okay, so you find the slit,” Shepard continued. “It starts about midway up the pubic bone and goes back almost to where our vagina would be. If your asari has never had kids, then it’s blank.”
“Blank?”
“You know, solid flesh, but if they’ve had kids, then there’s an opening, a birth canal, which is a little like a vagina but not really. It develops during the last stage of pregnancy, but even if she has one, you might as well ignore it because it doesn’t have nerve endings. It’s why they can pop out a kid without any pain.”
“Lucky,” Samantha noted.
“I’ll say,” Shepard agreed. “No labor for them, not the way it is for us, at any rate.”
“I don’t think Actra has had any children,” Samantha said. “How would I know?”
“Because she identifies as a maiden,” Shepard told her. “If she had kids, she’d be a matron, regardless of age. They try to wait until they’re past three or four hundred.” She paused, looking more somber. “Sometimes they don’t.”
Liara abruptly straightened as she heard the intonation, laughter fleeing as if it had never been, scooting back to the desk so that she could listen more closely.
“Liara’s only a hundred, isn’t she?” Samantha said gently.
“A hundred and ten,” Shepard said. “If we…if she decides she wants to have a child with me, she’d have to give up the larger part of her maidenhood, two thirds, at least.” She looked bleak. “The best part of her youth.”
“Oh, I don’t think she’d see it that way,” Samantha said, reaching out to put a hand on Shepard’s forearm, obviously trying to comfort her.
Liara desperately hoped Shepard could not detect her emotions now, or would confuse them with her own. She really should cut the feed now, but her hands refused to perform the necessary motion.
“Maybe. Maybe not. We haven’t really talked about it yet,” Shepard said. “I know we should, but I haven’t wanted to bring it up. She hasn’t wanted to bring it up. Because either she wants to make the sacrifice for me, which I don’t know that I can live with, or we have to accept the fact that we’ll never have any little blue children running around.”
“Oh, Commander,” Samantha said.
“Oh, Shepard,” Liara said at the same time, touching the screen with her fingertips, over the image of Shepard’s face.
“Hey, that isn’t what you want to know,” Shepard said, seeming to shrug off her sudden melancholy. “Back to the situation at hand.” She grinned. “So, to speak.”
“Commander.” Samantha blushed so hard it was clearly visible in the feed.
“Okay, so you find the slit, and it’s closed, which means you have to sort of tease it open, with your fingertips or better, your tongue, which I think most asari really like. You can’t just push your way in, and honestly, if you were stupid enough to try, you’d probably get a face full of biotics that would fling you across the room.”
“Ouch,” Samantha said warily. “This is starting to sound a little dangerous.”
“Not if you’re respectful,” Shepard reminded her. “You need to try to coax it open and the azure will either be flat, or start to protrude a little. It’s all pebbly.”
“Pebbly?” Samantha sounded very doubtful at this point, as if becoming intimate with an asari was a whole lot more than she bargained for, which, truth be told, was the case for most humans.
“Kind of like chicken skin after the feathers are gone” Shepard said that as if Samantha would know what that meant though Liara certainly didn’t. She made a note to look it up. All she knew about chicken was that a lot of the things in the galaxy apparently tasted like it.
“Blue chicken skin,” Samantha repeated doubtfully.
“Hey, to be fair, none of us look particularly elegant down there,” Shepard pointed out. “It’s not like we’re talking about sunsets and rainbows here.”
“I suppose you’re right.” Samantha nodded, making a face of reluctant agreement.
“All you have to remember is that each one of those little bumps is like a tiny little clit,” Shepard said. “Very sensitive and really responsive to touch.”
Samantha seemed to perk up at that. “Okay.”
“Now, to start out, it’s flat and as you touch it, it’ll respond, either by wanting to surround whatever’s being introduced, or wanting to be surrounded.”
“Commander?”
“What I mean is, if you start to prod it a bit with your tongue or your fingertips, it’ll start to close around whatever you’re using, and it’ll squeeze very gently,” Shepard said, and then paused, almost as if in fond remembrance. “It’s really kind of spectacular. Tight and hot and wet. And everywhere you touch, you’re hitting little nodules, which means she’s really feeling it the entire time.”
“Oh,” Samantha said.
Liara felt a kind of pulse in the general vicinity of the body part in question, a sort of delightful tingle at the thought of Shepard’s fingers or tongue touching her.
“Otherwise, if you suck or kind of pull on it, it’ll start to fill whatever is there, you know, your mouth, or especially if you put your—well, yourself against it,” Shepard said, her tone falling into that brisk, professional intonation once more. “It’s more like a tentacle, like the ones on their heads, a protrusion that will try to fill you, though only as far as you let it. If you squeeze, it won’t become any bigger. There’s no thrusting or anything, just a slow expansion. It’s not really built for anything overtly physical. It never really protrudes just for the sake of being out there. That’s just a myth.”
Samantha was just staring at Shepard now, her mouth hanging open slightly. “Are you serious?”
“You wanted to know, Specialist Traynor,” Shepard countered neatly. “Honestly, it’s quite versatile, and once you’ve had the pleasure, it’s almost impossible to settle for our human limitations.”
“Once you go blue, you’ll remain ever true?” Samantha said, using a rather crude line that had sprung up over the past few decades, ever since humans had entered the galactic theater.
“Something like that,” Shepard said. “But that’s only the physical part. The joining is what really takes it to the next level, and your commando might not necessarily offer to do that the first time or even the tenth time. Contrary to popular belief, it’s only reserved for serious relationships, not casual ones.”
“I thought mind melding was part of it,” Samantha said. She made a face. “Honestly, that part was giving me a bit of a pause, as well.”
“Then you don’t have to worry,” Shepard assured her. “That sort of meld is serious stuff. Even a surface meld can be tricky when it’s just to share minds. But joining is done only when the asari trusts you completely. Though I must tell you, Samantha, joining while making love is like touching God. You know her, she knows you, you both start to come and it lasts for minutes, five, ten, even fifteen. I honestly don’t know how I survive it, and every time, I can’t wait for it to happen again.”
Samantha stared at her for a long minute. “Wow, Commander, you’ve given me a lot to think about.”
Liara shut down the feed, feeling somewhat adrift.
Samantha wasn’t the only one with a lot to think about.
XIII
Shepard was cleaning up after the chess game when Liara finally came home. Glancing up, she frowned when she saw the pensive expression on the familiar freckled features.
“Liara?”
“I’m sorry, Kate, I have a confession to make.”
Shepard hesitated, hands full of stained wineglasses and the mostly empty bottle. “It must be serious if you’re using my first name.”
Liara took a seat on the soft, peering at her somberly. Shepard made a motion to put away her burden, reconsidered and placed the glassware back on the table, next to the chess set. Sinking down into the armchair, she regarded Liara closely.
“Well?”
“Earlier this evening, I experienced a sense of panic,” Liara said, choosing her words with evident care. “It wasn’t mine, it was yours, so naturally concerned, I set a trace, tracked down your location and activated all monitors in the vicinity.”
“Okay,” Shepard said slowly.
“You were speaking to Samantha about something…” Liara searched for the word. “Delicate. I didn’t mean to continue once I’d determined your panic was nothing serious, but I honestly couldn’t help myself.”
“Oh? Oh. Ohhh!” Shepard fixed her with a look. “I thought you said you didn’t do that sort of thing?”
“I know, I’m sorry, I should have shut it down as soon as I realized what was causing your panic, but it was…” Liara dipped her head in that cute way she had, looking away from Shepard’s stern gaze. “Intriguing. At first, I was just fascinated to study human interaction regarding the discussion of sexual taboos.”
Shepard watched her narrowly. “Really?”
“All right, I admit, it was funny, and I was enjoying myself,” Liara said. “But then you said that thing about us having children.”
Shepard leaned back, feeling that like a blow. “Oh. Man. Okay.” She fumbled for something to say. “I know I probably shouldn’t have shared that with Samantha, but she’s become a good friend and—”
Liara held up her hand. “I’m not angry about you discussing it with your friends, Shepard,” she said softly. “I’m just…I don’t know why you couldn’t speak to me about it.”
“Well, if you were eavesdropping, you know,” Shepard replied, feeling a little less embarrassed and a little more piqued at Liara listening in on a private conversation, Shadow Broker or not. “You never want to talk about it, but it’s a reality for us. You’re young. I’m not. It’s our respective life spans. That’s just how it is. I’m almost forty. Time to start settling down and thinking about marriage and kids and everything that means. If I’m lucky, I might have a hundred years left to get in all the living I want and hope to do. But you’re just starting out.” She didn’t bring up the discussion she had with Aethyta about her cybernetics perhaps extending her lifespan. A theory without any real evidence wasn’t something she could offer up on a whim. Not for this discussion, anyway.
“Have I ever indicated that I didn’t want what you do?” Liara asked, hurt evident in her tone and in her mind. It made Shepard’s throat ache. “I know that whenever the subject of our respective lifespans come up that I become reluctant, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t speak about it.”
“Talking about it isn’t the point,” Shepard argued. “The truth is; you shouldn’t want what I do. You should be out there exploring all that life has to offer. You’ve got hundreds of years to figure out what it is that you want out of it, and you deserve those years. You shouldn’t cut them short just because you had the bad luck to fall for me.”
“I wish you wouldn’t say these things, Shepard,” Liara said, her eyes becoming bright and moist. “I love you.”
“I know you do,” Shepard said, feeling a pain in her chest. “I love you, too. But sometimes love isn’t always enough. And you shouldn’t need to stop being a maiden, to start taking on the responsibilities of being a matron, just because I’m human. It’s not fair.”
“Oh, Shepard, the universe isn’t fair.” Liara rose from her seat and crossed over the table, somehow landing on Shepard’s lap without knocking over a single chess piece. Arms tight around her neck, arms full of asari, Shepard felt Liara’s whole self reach out to her through their bond. Pressing her forehead against Shepard’s, Liara closed her eyes. “Do you know, in London when we bonded, I very nearly took your genetic pattern then and there. I was so afraid I was going to lose you, that having a child, having a piece of you, would be the only way I could survive.”
Shepard understood the depth of what she was saying. “Oh, Liara.”
“I didn’t because, it wouldn’t be fair to do it without your knowledge, without you being aware that you would be leaving a piece of yourself behind, but I didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“It was the wrong time,” Shepard agreed quietly. “But I understand the instinct. Though maybe that’s all it was, the simple instinct in the face of death to create life. I’m sure you’re not the only one who felt that way, and I suspect there’ll be a hell of a baby boom in the upcoming year or two.” She reached up and put her finger under Liara’s chin, lifting it so that she could look into her eyes. “But we’re not at war any longer. This is peacetime, and decisions made now need to be made for the long term. I realize that many asari have children on their own, but I don’t want that for me, for us. I want any child of mine to be ours, not just yours. Does that make sense?”
“Of course, it does,” Liara said. “I want that, too.”
“But having children changes things,” Shepard said. “And while I might be reaching a time and place when I’m ready for that, you shouldn’t have to be.”
“It would be my decision,” Liara said stubbornly.
“I know, and I wouldn’t presume to say otherwise,” Shepard said. “But I will say that I want you to seriously think about it, to consider all the repercussions, including what it means for you to become a matron before your time.” She kissed Liara, slow and soft, lingering over her mouth, tasting the saltiness of tears. “I love you. With all my heart and soul, I love you. And I’ll love you for as long as we’re together, for the rest of my life if that’s how it works out. But I won’t be there for the rest of your life, no matter how long I manage to survive. I’ll barely be there for a tenth of it. The same holds true for any kids we might have. I won’t get to see them reach full adulthood, to see them fall in love and pair bond and have kids of their own, or see how they turn out. And that’s the reality, like it or not.”
“Oh, Shepard,” Liara said, holding her as close as possible. “I hate this conversation.”
“I know,” Shepard said, stroking the line of Liara’s scalp crest, fingertips light on the smooth, yielding skin. “I hate it, too. But it’s the conversation we need to have and a decision we’ll need to make. Not right this minute, but eventually.” She leaned her head back, looking at the transparencies on the ceiling, watching the stars twinkling above. “It’s not some rhetorical concept, it’s how things really are for humans and asari. Hell, for asari and anyone except maybe the krogan, who also live for centuries. I have no idea how a salarian/asari pairing might go. They only live for forty years, not even half a human lifespan. That relationship must be over in a blink. How the hell does that work?”
“I understand it can be quite difficult,” Liara admitted, voice muffled slightly because she had her face buried in the shelter of Shepard’s neck and shoulder. “The thing is, humans are so similar to us in many ways, more so than any other species we’ve encountered, which means our joining is also similar to an asari pairing, deeper on a spiritual level, a stronger bond than perhaps anyone expected. It’s rarely a matter of just producing offspring. It’s often a case of becoming emotional life partners, as well. But we’ve only known your species for a few decades. Not long enough for most of the pairings to come to their natural conclusion. We have no idea what your true impact will be on our species.” She snuggled closer, almost as if she was trying to become one with Shepard, a physical meld rather than a mental one. “I know what I am supposed to be as an asari. I know how I’m supposed to think and feel and act when it comes to pairing with another species, but none of that applies with you. I can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I love you, of being with anyone other than you.”
“Oh, don’t say that,” Shepard said, feeling her chest hurt. “I want you to have many loves in your life, Liara. I want you to know nothing but love for as long as you live, with whoever that might be, for however long that may be. And when I’m just a memory five or six or seven hundred years from now, I know there’ll be someone in the universe who’ll remember who I really was, not whatever story is springing up around the whole Reaper thing. You won’t remember ‘The Shepard’. You’ll remember me. And honestly, that grants me a peace about my mortality that most people never get to enjoy.”
They sat there for a while, just being together. There was no meld, just the perfect sense of unity that two people being in love could share, submerged in their emotion and joy of being.
“You know,” Shepard said finally, “During the whole war with the Reapers, I rarely thought beyond the next mission, the next battle, never really tried to imagine what life would be like if I survived. But when I did think about what peace would be like, it was this, just being with you, holding you in my arms someplace safe.”
Liara inhaled slowly, the sound of her breath a gentle rush in Shepard’s ear. “I know exactly what you mean. Except for two years when I didn’t dare to dream at all.”
Reminded of the years recovering in a Cerberus facility as Miranda Lawson worked miracles to bring Shepard back to life after being spaced when the first Normandy was destroyed, Shepard tightened her embrace.
“I still can’t believe you went through all that,” she said quietly. “The worst part is, it wasn’t two years for me. One minute, I was yelling at you to get into an escape pod, and the next, I was waking up in a hospital bed with Miranda shouting in my ear that we were under attack. In some ways, I still haven’t caught up, even though I understand intellectually how long it had been.” She paused. “The only time I ever really felt it was when I saw you in that office in Nos Astra and you were so distant and cold. That’s when I finally felt the weight of it settle in my gut. You were an entirely different person.”
“I was,” Liara said.
“And I had to learn how to fall in love with you all over again,” Shepard said.
“Thank the Goddess you did.”
Shepard brushed her lips over the warm scalp. “You must have missed me.”
“As if a part of me was gone,” Liara told her. “But I learned to live without you, and it changed me on a fundamental level. And you’re right, when the times comes, it will change me again, only it will be an even more profound change. Have I mentioned that I really hate this conversation?”
Shepard chuckled. “You have, and I’m sorry. We’ll figure it out, Liara. We always do.”
Liara lifted her head and kissed her, the sort of kiss that mixed bittersweet on Shepard’s tongue, longing and hurting and loving all at the same time.
“I know we will,” she said. She paused. “Take me to bed, Shepard. Take the taste of this conversation out of my mind.”
Shepard smiled. “I think I can do that.” She paused. “You’re going to have to let me up, though.”
Liara kissed her again, her tongue moving soft against Shepard’s. Then she was rising from the chair, reaching down to pull Shepard up into her arms, kissing her again, with more passion and sweetness, less regret and bitterness. One could only dwell on the future or the past for so long, after all, and then it was time to concentrate on the here and now.
And the here and now was sweet indeed.
The End