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The Counselor: Repercussions

G. L. Dartt

Counselor Sydney Stone walked down the corridor on Deck Six, heading for her quarters. It was late, shading into the gamma shift on the USS Voyager and the tall woman, with raven black hair and emerald green eyes, paused before her door and took a quick glance around. The halls were empty, no one about this time of night, and acquiring a stealthy air, she left the entrance to her cabin and skulked further down to where the corridor terminated. A single door occupied the alcove with a discreet and dignified plaque set in the bulkhead beside it that read Captain's Quarters.

Sydney took another glance around before using her command code to override the lock. It was dark, quiet, the only sound a soft stirring of breath from somewhere deeper inside the abode. Cautiously, she tiptoed across the living area, trying hard to remember the general layout of the room from her previous visits. She discovered how very bad her memory was when she collided with the wall and fell sideways through the portal leading to the bedroom with a solid, and no doubt, quite audible thud.

There was an immediate change in the breathing, a cessation as the inhabitant awoke, knowing someone was in the quarters. Sydney could probably expect that phaser fire from the weapon, placed next to the bed as per regulations, would illuminate the darkness within the next few seconds if the situation was not clarified a little.

“It's me,” she whispered.

The bed creaked as someone moved in it, shifting position.

“Sydney?” The voice was low, throaty, laced with command.

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing?” An edge of amusement crept into the tone.

“Lying on the floor.”

“Why?”

A pause. “I tripped,” Sydney admitted finally.

There was a sound from the dark, not a laugh exactly, but more along the lines of someone suppressing one. Sydney sighed and crawled the rest of the way across the bedroom floor until she found the side of the bed. Feeling carefully, she gingerly stood up and began to remove her uniform, stripping it off and tossing it on what she hoped was the general vicinity of a chair she vaguely remembered from her last visit.

“Why don't you just bring up the lights?” the voice asked reasonably.

“I was trying not to wake you,” Sydney explained as she crawled into the bed, settling onto the mattress next to the warm body already occupying it.

“Ah, I see,” Captain Kathryn Janeway said dryly. Then started to laugh.

Sydney had no choice but to join her, and for a few minutes, they surrendered completely to their mirth until finally, wiping the tears away, Sydney rolled over and wrapped herself around the soft, slender form of her captain.

“I really didn't want to wake you up,” she confided, snuggling close to the warm woman in her arms.

“To quote our favorite Borg,” Janeway responded. “'You failed.'“

“Not from lack of trying,” Sydney reminded her. She paused. “You don't mind?”

“What, being joined in the middle of the night by my rather clumsy lover?” Sydney felt the woman press closer to her. The voice lowered, deepened, grew husky. “Not at all.”

Sydney smiled, feeling soft lips move over her neck and chin, searching for her mouth with unerring determination, kissing her sweetly and passionately. Gentle, long fingered hands began to explore her body quietly, slowly, and with a soft moan, she settled deeper into the embrace.

Sydney had joined this vessel only a few months earlier when her ship had encountered the Barzan wormhole. Pursued by a Cardassian dreadnaught and a squadron of Jem'Hadar fighters, the USS Athena had lured them in, then destroyed the wormhole by ejecting the warp core and firing photon torpedoes into it. The resulting explosion also shattered the Athena, leaving it adrift in the Delta Quadrant with Commander Sydney Stone as its only survivor.

Fortunately, USS Voyager, lost for the past five years in the Delta Quadrant, 60,000 light years from Earth and home, had discovered the battlefield shortly after and rescued the woman held in stasis. Sydney accepted their offer to become Voyager's counselor, serving the crew that was comprised not only of Starfleet members, but also of the Maquis outlaws, a Delta Quadrant alien named Neelix and one Borg drone severed from the Collective named Seven of Nine. And as Sydney fit herself into this unique crew, she found herself inexplicably and irrevocably drawn to the ship's captain.

Kathryn Janeway was a woman whose compact form contained a core of sheer duranium, a sense of authority and strength that was belied by the soft auburn hair and elegant features. Though not the devastating blue-grey eyes that could shade from solid slates of granite to the brightest of azure, reflecting a fire and determination that stood up to all challenges. When Stone had dared to break through the protective shell the captain maintained, she had been profoundly gratified to find a warm and passionate woman beneath, one more than ready to accept her offer of friendship, partnership and love.

That had happened two weeks ago and this was only the fourth opportunity they had found to be intimate. Their duties and responsibilities kept them apart and their respective positions of power on the ship required a great deal of discretion on their part. But they had expected that, discussed it, worked it out that first night. And if hiding their relationship was an added bit of work, then at least, it also afforded a bit of intrigue and spice to the affair.

It made times like this more satisfying, more exciting, and infinitely more precious. Sydney slid her hands luxuriously over the small body next to her, delighting in the feel and taste of Kathryn, even as the captain sought out those places she knew would please her lover. Kathryn did not have the same experience as Sydney did with loving women, but what she lacked in skill, she made up for with a tender enthusiasm that completely charmed Sydney.

And consumed her with a desire that burned hot and quick, like a prairie wildfire.

“Mmm, that's so good,” she murmured as Kathryn fondled her, fingers stroking her deeply as she raised her thigh to rest on the smaller woman's hip, giving the captain full access to her most intimate places.

“You like that?” Janeway whispered, nuzzling her ear and neck.

“Oh, yes,” Sydney breathed, arching against her. With a quiet sob, she surrendered to the waves of pleasure washing through her, spasming helplessly as Kathryn kept up her caresses until finally, Sydney could reach down and grasp the wrist firmly. “Enough,” she gasped.

Kathryn laughed, deep and low. “You need to be careful when you sneak into a person's bed. You never know what you might get.”

Sydney took a breath, smiling as she tried to compose herself. “You mean, if the person has been deprived for five years and is now trying to make up for lost time?”

“Exactly.” Kathryn reversed Sydney's grip, taking the counselor's hand and guiding it to where she needed it to be. “And if you would be so kind...”

Sydney laughed. “You are altogether too formal. Tell me what you want.”

So Janeway did, in that wonderful smoky voice, describing at great length, and with exquisite detail, what she needed which Sydney was only too happy to accommodate. Afterwards, sated, satisfied, they lay together in a glorious tangle of arms and legs, snuggling together in the dim illumination; Sydney on her back with Kathryn cuddled against her, head on her shoulder.

“I have a Velocity match with Seven tomorrow,” Janeway told her, yawning. “I think she's really going to beat me this time.”

“If you think that, then she will,” Sydney advised, stroking the arm wrapped across her chest with drowsy content. “You have a psychological advantage on her. She doesn't really want to beat you because if she does, she'll consider herself more your equal. And she's not quite ready for that.”

“My equal?” Janeway repeated with a laugh. “She thinks she's my superior.”

“Not at all,” Sydney responded, nuzzling the auburn hair next to her. “She needs you to be in charge, to be her guide, her mentor. Her parent.”

“'Parent'?”

Sydney forced herself awake, hearing the unease in the voice. “Of course, Kathryn,” she said with some surprise. “She's always perceived you as her maternal figure. You didn't know that?”

“I'm her captain,” Janeway said with a reserved tone. “And hopefully her friend.”

“And her mother, just as Tuvok is her paternal figure,” Sydney explained gently. “Why do you think she's fought with you so hard? She never bothers fighting with anyone else. You're the only one she wants to recognize her independence. Even as she needs you to contain her, to set parameters and present guidelines for her behavior.”

Janeway was silent for a moment. “I don't know that I like that.”

Sydney took a breath. “That's unfortunate, and perhaps something you should have considered before you 'adopted' her. That was part and parcel of taking her from the Collective and demanding she fit into her new family, darling. You are the family leader, in this case, the matriarch. You are the one setting the rules, my love. It's a little late to object when people then follow them.”

Janeway was silent for a moment. “You don't mince words, do you?”

“Do you want me to? Do you really want me to temper my opinions and words with you because of rank?”

She could feel the heat in the skin against hers as Janeway blushed. “Is that what I was doing?”

Sydney nuzzled her. “I appreciate you have a hard time reconciling the captain with the woman. God knows, I have an equally hard time with my counselor side. But I'm not your counselor. I'm Seven's. And I must protect her. Does that make sense?”

“I guess,” Janeway sighed. “This is hard, isn't it?”

“Sometimes,” Sydney allowed. “You want out?”

“No,” Kathryn said softly. “You?”

“Never,” Sydney said firmly and pulled her closer. “I adore you, Kathryn. It won't be easy. But I hope it will be worth it.”

“It's worth it,” Janeway assured her. “Just for these moments.”

“That it is,” Sydney agreed and kissed her sweetly. “Good night, love.”

“Good night, Syd.”

Janeway woke with a small sigh of contentment and pleasure. The warm presence spooning her from behind, the arms surrounding her with gentle protectiveness, the soft, yielding body pressed sweetly against her back; it was altogether the absolute best way to wake up. She could get used to this very quickly, she thought as she carefully shifted in the embrace, rolling onto her back so that she could look at her companion in the muted light brought up by the computer to signify morning watch.

Sydney was still asleep, dark lashes casting soft shadows on the elegant cheekbones, her long dark hair draped luxuriously over her shoulders, loose strands falling gently about her face, tickling the fine nose and full lips. Janeway carefully used her fingers to brush the strands back, not wanting to wake her, content to lie here and watch her sleep, wondering at her presence and how they had ever managed to find each other.

It seemed a special sort of irony that all Janeway's previous lovers had been male. Though there was no gender bias in the twenty-fourth century, one did develop definite parameters in individual attractions and it had surprised her when she had been so captivated by this woman. The slender, willowy Sydney was a far cry from the tall, broad shouldered, husky men Janeway had been with, both in physical form and in personality. The counselor was far more serene than either Cheb Packer or Justin Tighe, far more professional and strong-willed than Mark Johnson.

Janeway realized suddenly that her experience in matters of romance was very limited indeed. Three lovers, all rather staid, traditional type males for all their good traits, their honesty, their quiet strength, their fine upstanding qualities so personified by ... Janeway gulped. Her father, Admiral Edward Janeway. Her mentor, Admiral Owen Paris.

She promised herself she would not share that realization with Sydney, thinking that there were just some things she should keep to herself. She wondered if this meant she was finally growing up, finding love with a person rather than a personality. Certainly, she had discovered many things about herself here in the Delta Quadrant, found a strength of will and an ability to face all challenges, a core of steel-edged determination that had merely been hinted at back home in the Federation. She had found loneliness as well, the isolation of command, and had constructed a protective wall to shield her inner self, to shield her heart. That Sydney had managed to break through was a testament to her tenacity and her love. Janeway didn't know how it happened, only that she was profoundly grateful that it had.

Janeway idly traced lines over the arm resting across her chest, running light fingertips along the finely defined musculature, studying the soft, smooth skin. It was a few shades darker than her own fair coloring, as if Sydney spent all her time beneath a sun. A most remarkable accomplishment considering that most people in starships had a sort of pallor that was unmistakable. She raised her gaze back to her companion's face to find two emerald eyes staring back at her. She could not restrain the startled little jump that brought a smile to Sydney's features, the white flash of teeth appearing between the full wine-shaded lips.

“Good morning,” she said softly. “I didn't mean to startle you.”

“I thought you were still asleep.” Janeway returned the smile shyly. “I like waking up with you.”

“Hmm, I'm rather enamored of the idea myself.” Sydney wrapped herself around Janeway. “It would be nice to be able to do it every morning.”

“Yes,” Janeway said quietly, though both knew full well that it was impossible. At least for the time being. But in the future, who knew? It just surprised Janeway to discover she was already thinking about sharing quarters.

Janeway felt Sydney's lips nuzzle gently at her ear, her hands beginning to stroke her body and she arched under them for a moment of indulgence. But only a moment. “We can't,” she said regretfully. “I have duty in about an hour.”

Sydney gentled her touch, slowing it as she continued to stroke Kathryn lightly. “That's really too bad. My first session isn't until 0900.”

“Maybe in a few days?” Janeway offered, resting her head against Sydney, her temple pressed against the counselor's lips. “That's when I'm rotated off duty.”

“I'll do some rescheduling,” Sydney promised. “Discreetly.” She raised up a little, finding Janeway's lips, kissing her sweetly. “You have to go,” she murmured against her lips.

Kathryn returned the kiss for a few more stolen moments, then reluctantly slipped from the embrace and the warmth of the bed. Sydney remained under the sheets, taking full advantage of the fact that her morning began later. It was also wiser for her to depart the captain's quarters sometime after Janeway, when the traffic from the alpha shift had cleared out from the surrounding corridors.

Janeway took a quick shower, and then dressed in the uniform she had replicated the night before. It was almost as if she were pulling on more than clothes, she thought as she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She was drawing on her armor of authority, resuming the shell of command and power that kept most people a proper distance from the woman hidden within. She assessed the trim black outfit with its broad band of command red across the shoulders, her four gold pips in their proper position at the collar of the underlying blue-grey turtleneck. No would ever be able to tell that she had spent the night in the loving and sensual embrace of her ship's counselor.

She left the bathroom, smiling a little as she noticed that Sydney had gone back to sleep. Quietly she tiptoed out of her quarters, startled as her first officer, Commander Chakotay entered the corridor at the same time. Tall, broad-shouldered with dark hair and eyes, a non-regulation tribal tattoo arching above his left eye, her exec was a handsome man indeed.

“Good morning, Captain,” he said, smiling. “Can I offer you breakfast at Neelix's?”

“Well, if not breakfast, then certainly a cup of coffee,” she said, graciously taking the arm he offered. They chatted easily about ship's business as they made their way to the mess hall where they joined a good part of the crew who were also starting their day.

The two senior officers found some free seats at the end of the table where the rest of the bridge crew were breaking their fast. Lt. Tom Paris, the fair-haired helmsman was working on Neelix's version of bacon and eggs while the operations officer, Harry Kim, gingerly pushed around more of the same. Also seated at the table was the ship's chief engineer, B'Elanna Torres. A fiery Klingon/Human hybrid, the raven-haired woman was deep in conversation with Seven of Nine, the cool, imposing ex-Borg who served as astrometrics officer. They nodded briefly at the captain and first officer as they joined them, before resuming their discussion which had something to do with the plasma relay system judging from the many schematics and padds littering the table.

“Can I get you anything, Captain?”

Neelix's sudden appearance beside Janeway surprised her. The lone Delta Quadrant native on the ship, he was a short, stocky individual who remarkably resembled a Terran hedgehog with his speckled scalp, tufted sideburns and yellow eyes.

“A cup of coffee,” the captain smiled at him. “And perhaps a plate of whatever it is Tom has.”

“The same for me, Neelix,” Chakotay said from where he sat across from her.

“On its way,” Neelix said cheerfully and went off to fill their requests.

“You may regret that,” Paris warned, pushing his food around.

“It's not that bad,” the young, dark haired Kim offered, grimacing as he took a bite.

“Well, with that recommendation, how can we lose?” Chakotay said, smiling at his captain.

“I'm afraid to find out,” she said, returning his smile. She found her attention taken by the conversation B'Elanna and Seven were having. Or rather, the argument it had deteriorated into as so many of their discussions did. Both were strong-willed individuals and while B'Elanna lacked Seven's sheer arrogance, neither were prepared to grant the other much leeway.

“But the conduit must go here,” B'Elanna said sharply. The 'as any idiot would know' was unspoken but clearly indicated in the tone.

“That is small linear thinking,” Seven said, icily calm. “A typical failing of your species.”

B'Elanna did a slow burn. “Look, Seven, I'm not letting you move around the entire plasma relay system just because you think it might improve efficiency.”

“I do not 'think it', I am certain of it.” She took a breath, raising her brow. “Perhaps a more open mind would be better suited to thinking in three dimensional terms. Captain?”

Janeway took a slow breath, stifling her wince. Seven really did have no concept of the chain of command. To go over the head of engineering so cavalierly; right in front of her no less, was a breach of protocol and etiquette that even Seven should know better. She wondered if the ex-Borg would ever be able to fit into this diverse family or if they, in turn, would be able to fit around her uniqueness.

“Seven, B'Elanna is the chief engineer,” she said with forced calm. “She has the final say on what modifications are made to the ship.”

Seven stared at her, the ice-blue eyes frosting over even more. “I am aware that you tend to favor Lt. Torres's opinion on these matters,” she said and for a wild instant, Janeway heard another voice in her head. A younger one, raised in uncomprehending outrage at the unfairness of it all. You always liked B'Elanna best. Good god, could Sydney be right about how Seven looked to her? “But I'm sure if you were to go over the specifications?”

Janeway held up a hand, stopping the woman. “Include the recommendations in a report,” she offered in a gentler tone. “I'll go over them and give you my opinion as to whether they're viable or not.”

Seven stared at her for a moment. “If you wish,” she said evenly and rose, leaving the table abruptly. Janeway could tell she was angry. But unlike before, where Seven would have told the captain of her shortcomings at seeing what was perfectly obvious in devastating and precise detail, recently the Borg had been making a practice of removing her presence from situations like this. That had been a change instituted by the arrival of Counselor Stone.

Janeway couldn't deny that it had made life easier for all concerned but there was a part of her that missed the confrontations. Not the anger and insulting condescension so much as the fact that Seven had stood up to her, challenged her perceptions, wrangled with her at a moment's notice, essentially treated her as a person rather than the individual in command. Lately Seven did not argue, did not get up the captain's nose at the slightest provocation. She merely walked away to make a note about her frustration and fury which she would then share with Sydney in their next regular session. And Sydney would calm her, guiding her to an understanding of what had just happened which would allow Seven to accept and deal with it.

It was very much like when a very young Kathryn Janeway had run to her father after having a tiff with her mother, Janeway thought suddenly or vice versa. Neither parent ever took a side against the other. In fact, they very often were telling her the same thing, but inevitably one could get through where the other couldn't.

It was a profound realization, her second of the day and uncomfortably, she thought that maybe being with Sydney had a drawback after all. They did not have a counselor/client relationship ... that would have ethically and morally prevented any sort of romantic entanglement at all ... but while Sydney wasn't analyzing her, Janeway found she was wondering about the motivations behind her actions completely on her own.

It was quite the disturbing conclusion. Janeway wondered if she should talk to Sydney about it. Strictly in a hypothetical manner of course.

Stone leaned back in her chair, looking at the woman sitting across the desk from her. Ensign Samantha Wildman was a harried looking female from Sciences who also had the unique distinction of being the only one to ever give birth on Voyager. Her four-year-old daughter, Naomi, was the only child currently on the ship. At least, Stone modified privately, the only child in a proper child's body. She couldn't really count Seven of Nine here. Though apparently the Borg was the source of the problem.

“She wakes up screaming sometimes,” Wildman was saying. “It's always after she's seen Seven that day. That can't be good for her.”

Stone nodded. “I agree that being so terrified of the Borg that she can't bear to be in Seven's vicinity is a problem. If for no other reason than the ship is small and they're bound to run into each other. What I'm having difficulty understanding is why Naomi is afraid of the Borg. Certainly, she's never encountered them directly?”

Wildman shook her head worriedly. “No. When we were involved in the war between the Borg and species 8472, I made sure she didn't know what was going on.”

Stone took a breath. “It is possible she overheard other crewmembers expressing their fear at that time,” she ventured. “Sometimes children have a way of showing up where people aren't aware of them.” She made a notation on her padd, then placed it on the desk, leaning forward as she folded her hands before her. “Ensign, I would like to bring Seven and Naomi together under controlled conditions. I think a lot of her fear is based on the fact that Seven is a mystery to her. If we can demystify Seven, show Naomi that she's just a person like her, then the fear may go away.”

“Do you think that's wise?” Wildman looked at her with troubled eyes.

Stone picked up something there, a tone, a quaver. There was a little more to this than just a child being afraid of an imaginary boogey man. But nothing she could get a handle on. Not yet at any rate.

“I think it's an option,” Stone offered gently. “If Seven is agreeable, then I think we can introduce the two of them. It would at least be a start.” She noted that the time was up for the session, not that she wanted to rush the woman. “Perhaps if you think about it. And I'll approach Seven to see if she's willing to assist. All right? Then we can make a decision.”

Wildman nodded reluctantly. “Very well. If you think that's best.” She stood up and looked anxiously at the counselor. “Thank you.”

“It's what I'm here for.” Sydney smiled at the woman, getting up to escort her to the door. It hissed open to reveal Seven standing across the corridor, waiting patiently. Stone, who had her hand on Wildman's elbow, felt a sudden tension even through the sparse contact. Interesting, she thought. Though maybe it's just a protective reaction against something that threatens her child's happiness.

She watched closely as Wildman nodded a greeting to Seven who returned the greeting politely, before making her way past sickbay to the turbolift. Stone looked back at Seven. She was clearly agitated but forcing herself to remain calm. Another conflict with Kathryn, Stone identified. It was quite easy to tell with Seven. She really did not know how to mask her feelings, just control them for a set period.

“Seven, can I help you?”

“Are you available?” Seven demanded abruptly.

“Come on in,” Stone invited, making an 'after you' gesture. Seven walked into the counselor's office and sat down primly in the chair. Stone followed her and took a seat beside her in the extra chair, granting Seven her full attention. “What is it?”

The story of the confrontation in the messhall, of the captain's refusal to look at her plans, of Janeway's very human shortcomings, burst out of Seven in a stream of calm, reasoned language, yet the hurt and confusion underlying the cool tones were very evident. Stone listened quietly, allowing Seven to get it all out, to release the great disappointment she was experiencing.

“And what exactly are you expecting from the captain in this situation?” she asked, a request for information only, careful that there was no hint of censure or accusation in her voice.

“She is an intelligent being,” Seven said. “Clearly she would see my adaptations to the plasma relay conduits would result in a more efficient system.”

“Didn't she offer to go over your recommendations?”

“Yes, but she will not approve them.”

“You know this?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Because Lt. Torres does not want to carry out the procedures and the captain always listens to her.”

“Always?” Stone raised an eyebrow, tone curious, not skeptical.

Seven hesitated. For all the problems she had dealing with Humanity, she did not try to misrepresent things. Not knowingly. Forced to be more specific, she reassessed her statement. “A greater percent of the time,” she amended.

“B'Elanna is Chief of Engineering. Do you feel she is incompetent? Or incapable of doing the job?”

Seven shook her head. “No.”

“Then don't you think that the captain must take her objections into account when evaluating engineering projects?” Stone asked gently. “What exactly are B'Elanna's objections based on?”

“Time and manpower,” Seven responded.

“If you were to suddenly become chief engineer, and were given such a project, what would be your response?”

“I could do it,” Seven said stubbornly.

“But would you?”

Seven was silent for a long moment, considering that. Stone waited patiently. Unlike many of her patients, Seven did not lie, not even to herself. She just got emotional context mixed up with logical thought sometimes. Not surprising considering her emotional growth stopped the moment she was assimilated at age six and did not begin again until she was severed from the Collective a bare year before. Given time and space to separate her thoughts from their emotional overtones, Seven would inevitably figure it out on her own.

“No,” Seven said finally. “The requirements needed to do such a project could possibly place the vessel at risk. It would be unwise to undertake it.” She paused, struggling. “But Lt. Torres did not explain this. She simply called me many Klingon words that disparaged me and my intelligence.”

Stone took a breath. “Seven, B'Elanna does not have the same thought processes as you do. She arrives at conclusions in a completely different manner. That does not make the decision wrong. How did you feel when she 'disparaged' you?”

Seven set her jaw, her lips thinning. “It made me angry.”

“I understand that,” Stone nodded.

“And, it hurt,” Seven admitted reluctantly.

“I'm sorry for that. I don't think she meant to hurt you.”

“No?”

Stone thought for a moment. “B'Elanna tends to strike people she wants to hurt,” she pointed out. “Hard.”

Seven nodded. “That is true.” She paused. “And the captain?”

“I'm still not sure how you expected her to respond, Seven,” Stone said slowly. “Did you expect her to immediately order B'Elanna to implement your ideas?”

Seven thought some more. “That would not be possible. The captain could not do that.”

“Then what did you want?”

Seven lowered her head. “I don't know.”

Stone nodded. “Perhaps you're coming at this from the wrong angle, Seven,” she offered. “B'Elanna does not understand you, that's clear, but you also don't understand her. I suggest you take some time to study the Klingon culture a little. In fact, this can be applied in a lot of cases. Taking time to study other cultures in more detail can sometimes make it easier to study your own.”

“Humanity, you mean,” Seven said coolly, clearly not applying that culture to her.

Stone smiled, and looked down at her padd. “There is another exchange of cultures I wouldn't mind you participating in and by doing so, you would also be assisting me.”

“Which culture?” Seven asked, and there was a thread of interest in her tone, whether it was the thought of a different culture that intrigued her or the fact that she would be assisting the counselor, Sydney didn't know.

“There is a Katarian on board who would benefit from learning more about you,” Stone said carefully.

Seven tilted her head and Sydney could see her analytical brain ticking over. “There is only one half-Katarian on board Voyager,” Seven said after a moment. “Ensign Wildman's child. The father, who is full Katarian, remains in the Alpha Quadrant.”

“Naomi is only four and is somewhat apprehensive about your Borgness. If you could spend a little time with her in this office, I think it would go a long way in easing her discomfort at your presence. But only if you are agreeable. I will be in the office at all times to monitor you both.”

A faintly disturbed expression crossed Seven's face. “She is afraid of me. On one occasion, I encountered her and Neelix in a corridor and she concealed herself behind him. He said that she was 'shy' but I do not believe that was correct.”

“She is afraid,” Stone admitted. “Would you ever hurt her, Seven?”

Seven looked as shocked as it were possible for her to look. “I cannot imagine any circumstances that would require me to harm a child,” she managed coldly.

Stone noted the outraged tone with interest. Certainly, Seven had assimilated her share of children when she was a member of the Collective but now apparently, the very thought of harming a child was appalling to her. She wondered where it sprang from. Annika Hansen's own assimilation at six years of age? Or perhaps Seven simply did not see assimilation as being harmful.

“We need to have Naomi understand that,” Stone said. “If we can get her to see you as a person rather than just a representative of the Borg, then I think she'll get over her fear. Will you help me?”

Stiffly, Seven nodded. “I will assist you. When?”

“I'll make the arrangements and get back to you,” Stone said with satisfaction, making a notation in her padd. She looked back at Seven. “Is there anything else troubling you, Seven?

“No,” Seven said and stood up abruptly. “I will see you at our regular time?”

“Tomorrow night, then.” Stone walked her to the door, and took a moment to rest her hand lightly on Seven's shoulder. “Try not to be so upset with the captain, Seven. She has a lot required of her and sometimes she can't always offer the attention each crewmember requires. But she does care about you. Very much so. All right?”

Seven nodded briefly. “I will ... consider your words.”

Stone smiled. “You do that.” She watched as Seven left, then taking a breath, she returned to her desk to tackle some paperwork before lunch.

“Full contact, game and final round, Seven of Nine. She wins, seven games to three.”

Janeway leaned against the wall, sucking wind and wondering if she had finally gotten too old for this sort of thing. Seven had managed to beat her and she wondered if the young woman was enjoying her victory. She snuck a glance over to where Seven stood tall and cool in her black workout outfit which left the arms bare, revealing a normally unseen implant on her right bicep. She did not appear particularly elated. Janeway leaned down gingerly and picked up her water bottle taking several gulps of the cold liquid, attempting to regain a bit more control.

“Are you all right, Captain?” Seven asked, looking at her strangely.

Janeway raised a hand, managed a half grin. “I'll live.” She picked up her towel, gestured with it. “Excellent play, Seven. That shot in the fourth game, just brilliant.”

“Yes?” Seven sounded uncertain, as if surprised that the captain was pleased with her win instead of being dismayed at losing. Her eyes brightened slightly.

“Wonderful shot,” Janeway explained, going back to the water bottle, drinking more slowly now. “Turned the whole thing around.”

“Indeed,” Seven said and stared at her some more. Janeway began to wonder what was going through the Borg's mind. Seven certainly had the oddest expression on her face.

“Captain, I wish to copulate with you.”

Janeway forced herself not to react, remembering how Sydney had handled this same sort of situation a few weeks ago in the mess hall. Calm, she thought. Don't show any hint of shock, don't get upset. Just stay calm. She managed to smile gently, with what she hoped was understanding. “Thank you, Seven, but before we go any further with this, we need to see Counselor Stone.”

Seven raised an eyebrow as the captain took her arm and gently led her to the door.

“Why?”

Janeway grinned. Because I'm not going to be the one that has to fix this, she thought. For a change. “Because, there's something we both must tell you,” she said. “And I think you should be sitting down when we do.”

“How would sitting down affect how I take in information?” Seven asked, puzzled.

“Sometimes it's just easier,” Janeway said as they stepped onto the turbolift.

Fortunately, the panel on Stone's office was shaded green, which indicated she was in and available. A red glow would have indicated she was in with a client and could not be disturbed. Janeway leaned on the chime and smiled at Seven who looked understandably confused by all this.

“Come in.” Stone's voice through the speaker was a welcome sound to Janeway and with a nod to Seven, gesturing her to enter first, they walked through the door.

Counselor Stone looked up as the two entered, eyebrow raising as she identified them. She took a quick glance around, then brought her chair from around the desk so that the three chairs were arranged in a semi-circle. Her eyes were bright as she looked at Janeway, a quizzical expression in her face.

“What can I do for you?”

Janeway wished she had taken time to shower. Though Seven was apparently beyond such things as perspiration, Janeway was very aware that she was giving every indication of just having completed an hour of Velocity. She felt mussed and disarrayed and entirely too grungy. Not how she wanted Sydney to see her.

“Before we start,” she said. “Do you think I could use your facilities?”

“By all means, Captain,” Stone said, waving her hand in the general direction of the door set unobtrusively in the corner of the office.

“I'll only be a minute,” Janeway apologized to Seven before going into the small washroom which, fortunately, had a full shower. She stripped off her workout clothes, set the controls for a hydro burst and stepped under the driving spray gratefully. She started abruptly as she heard the door open and she glanced out to see Stone putting a uniform on the counter, complete with pips and comm badge. She eyed her uncertainly and Stone grinned at her.

“From my replicator, Captain,” she said professionally for the benefit of the ears in the outer office. She waggled her eyebrows at her and left.

Janeway took a breath, forcing herself to remember that it would not be considered unseemly for the ship's counselor to provide the captain with a uniform. She shouldn't overreact to the fact that her first urge when she saw Stone come in was to drag her under the cascade of water and make wild, passionate love to her. Janeway quickly altered the controls to chill the spray and shortly thereafter, ardor cooled, got out to dress quickly. Seven and Stone both looked up as she took a seat next to them.

“So, Seven, you wish to copulate with the Captain,” Stone said and Janeway realized that Seven had filled her in while she had been showering. Which was good. Janeway hadn't wanted to explain what had happened anyway. “Are you in love with her?” Stone emphasized the word 'in'.

“Yes,” Seven said positively. Then hesitated. “I believe so.”

Janeway swallowed hard, but catching a warning glance from Stone, she held her tongue and tried to remain impassive, as if they were speaking of someone else entirely.

“How did you come to this conclusion?” Stone's tone was easy, a request for information.

Seven hesitated. “I like being in her presence,” she said slowly. “I realized that what I expected from her this morning was an acknowledgment that she recognizes I am special to her. Then when you told me she cared for me, I understood that was what I felt for her. I care for her. I love her.”

Stone leaned back in her chair. “I see,” she said. Janeway hoped that meant she was coming up with something to fix this. “And copulating with her would mean what?”

“That she loved me as well,” Seven said, as if it were self-evident.

Janeway blinked as she realized the two were now looking at her. She looked at Stone, trying to figure out what she was supposed to say, but the Counselor's placid expression was less than helpful. “Seven, I'm not in love with you.”

Seven flinched, features shading with a profound and heartfelt dismay, and to Janeway's horror, she realized that this was not like when Stone had previously diverted the woman with ice cream. Seven had a real emotional investment in this, real feelings for Janeway. It was not merely a need to experiment or to seek out new information. Helplessly, Janeway looked at Stone again.

“How do you feel about Seven, Captain?” Stone asked evenly.

“I ... uh,” Janeway hesitated, wondering what she should say. Stone was not offering her any hints either. Or was she? There was an expression in her eyes.

Janeway wished she was telepathic.

“I do care for you, Seven,” she said in a rush. She looked over at the young woman and put her hand gently on the mesh covered arm closest to her. “You're very special to me. But that kind of love, no, I don't feel that for you.”

“There are many shades of love, Seven,” Stone said then, and finally Janeway figured out where this was leading. “The love of friendship, the love of a mentor for a pupil. The love of a mother for a child. Romantic love is only one form. Are you sure that is the love you are experiencing?”

Seven hesitated. “No. I was unaware that the different kinds were available to me. As an adult, I thought it must be adult love.”

Stone nodded. “Adults also experience all those loves, Seven. And copulation is or should be, specific to the romantic love between two adults who intend to make a life together. But there are also other forms of affection. How does it make you feel when Janeway touches you?”

Seen considered it. “I am pleased.”

“Are you aroused?”

“'Aroused'?”

“Your breathing increases, your skin flushes,” Stone said dispassionately. “You experience warmth and excitement. Your nipples harden. There is a definite sensation in your genitals.”

Seven blinked. “A hormonal response. No, I do not experience that.”

“So, you are not aroused by Captain Janeway. You just like her touching you,” Stone said gently. “And that's understandable, Seven. Humans require physical contact from the moment they are born. It's as strong a need as eating and sleeping. I believe that when you were young, your parents were very affectionate with you. You miss that, though you're not sure why you do. Would you stand up for a moment?”

Uncertainly, Seven did as she was asked. Stone stood as well and carefully put her arms around Seven, gently holding her. “How does this make you feel?”

Seven became pensive, a furrow developing near her ocular implant. “It is pleasant,” she allowed. Hesitantly, she put her arms around the Counselor.

“Gently,” Stone instructed. “You're much stronger than I am.”

“What is this?” Seven asked, holding the counselor gingerly.

“This is a hug, Seven,” Stone told her. “I'm not in love with you, but I do care about you, and I want only good things for you. Can you feel that?”

“Yes,” Seven said after a moment. Unbidden, she rested her head on Stone's shoulder. “I like this.”

“It is nice, isn't it?” Stone said with a smile. After a bit, naturally, she released her. “How do you feel now.”

“I am ... happier,” Seven said, struggling to find words for the concepts she was experiencing. She glanced at Janeway sideways, from lowered eyes. “Why did I think I was in love with her?”

“She's the most powerful person on the ship,” Stone replied. “She has a great influence on your life. It's natural to be drawn to her. She's very important to you. You wish to be as important to her. And you are, Seven. You just have to realize that.”

She looked at Janeway and made a motion with her head, indicating she should also stand up which the captain obligingly did. Stone put her hand on Seven's arm and gently pulled her around to face the captain. “Now, Seven, you hug the captain,” she instructed.

Bemused, Janeway stood quietly as Seven put her arms around her. She was very aware of the taller woman's form, the implants that were not seen under her outfit but easily felt as she was pulled gently to Seven; the ribbing about her midsection, a protrusion of sorts under the left collarbone. Carefully Janeway put her arms around Seven in return and squeezed, amazed at the sudden rush of tenderness she felt for her, knowing a profound gratitude that she had taken the chance on her.

“Remember, Seven,” Stone said softly as she watched the two women hug, “Captain Janeway takes a far greater interest in what you do and she makes it a point to spend time with you that she does not with others. She cares enough about you to want to give you a better life than you had in the Collective. She cares enough to guide you, to motivate you. To set guidelines and parameters and has the expectation that you will follow them. She cares enough to punish you when you've done wrong but always in such a way that you are afforded the opportunity to learn from your mistakes and improve.”

“Why?” Seven asked. She released the captain and looked at Janeway fully. “Why do you care for me?”

Janeway opened her mouth, closed it, searched for the right thing to say. “I love you,” she said finally, simply. “You're like my younger sister.” She darted a glare at Stone, daring her to change expression. “Or my daughter.” Stone remained impassive.

Seven considered that carefully. “So, you are like my parent,” she said slowly. Her eyes grew distant and Janeway knew she was turning that concept around in her head. “My parents were assimilated. I do not know how to function with a parent.”

“I'm not sure I know how to function as one,” Janeway admitted frankly.

“It will be a learning experience for us both,” Seven said solemnly. She looked back at Stone and with unspoken agreement, they all sat down again. “Where should we begin?”

Stone spread her hands. “The fact is, you've already been functioning like this for some time. You already know how to do it.”

“So, it is unnecessary to change?”

“Perhaps the captain can be a little more affectionate with you,” Stone offered blandly. “Off duty. You can share more of what you're feeling with her. Off duty. On duty, she is still your captain. You are her crewmember. She cannot always react as your parent. You cannot expect it from her.”

Seven nodded. “I understand.”

Janeway wished she did.

Stone seemed to sigh, then. “Seven, we are many things in life. We play many roles. I am a counselor. I am also a Starfleet officer. I am at various times a teacher and a student. A friend and a lover. An adult and a child still. There are many shades to being Human. It is not all one thing or the other.”

Seven nodded. “I do not always wish to be Borg. It is hard. Especially since I do not have the voices.”

“But you still have many voices,” Stone insisted. “The captain's. Mine, Tuvok's, the Doctor's, even B'Elanna Torres. They all form the pattern of your life now. If you let them.”

“I will be different things to different people?” Seven offered.

“Yes, and they will be different things to you.”

“I will think about this.”

“That would be good.” Stone glanced at the captain. “Do you have anything to add, Kathryn?”

Janeway shook her head. “That about covers it,” she said dryly.

“I must return to astrometrics,” Seven said and stood up. She did not look back as she abruptly left the office.

Sydney put her hands over her eyes, trembling as the door slid shut behind the departing Borg. Through her laced fingers, she could see the captain looking at her with concern.

“Sydney?” Janeway leaned forward.

Sydney took a deep breath as she took her hands away, shaking them violently. “Boy, you have to bring me all the tough ones, huh?”

“Better you than me,” Janeway said dryly. “I used to have to handle those ones all by myself.”

“Well, I'm glad you think it's funny,” Sydney accused lightly. She put her hands under her thighs, sitting on them to keep them from shaking.

“I don't,” Janeway said, suddenly sobering. “I didn't know what to do.”

Sydney felt her lips quirk in a grin. “I'm sure you would have figured it out.”

“Your professional opinion?” Janeway eyed her uncertainly.

Sydney allowed her smile to become sensual. “No, my very biased, very unprofessional, personal one,” she said softly. “You are a most remarkable woman, Kathryn Janeway.”

Janeway blushed and Sydney got up, going to her and putting her hands on the arms of the captain's chair, leaning over her. “And you do have someone 'in' love with you,” she added in a low husky voice.

“I should get back to the bridge,” Janeway warned halfheartedly as Sydney bent closer.

“You're off duty this afternoon,” Sydney murmured, just before she kissed her gently, teasingly. “Or you wouldn't have been playing Velocity.” She kissed her again, a little deeper. “And as it turns out, I have no sessions for two hours.” And again, this time with passionate intent. “There's a perfectly good couch right next to us doing absolutely nothing.”

“We can't,” Janeway whispered, closing her eyes as Sydney kissed her again, each kiss increasing in duration, and in intimacy.

“Give me three good reasons,” Sydney muttered reasonably as she found the fastening at the front of Janeway's uniform. She continued to nuzzle the captain lovingly, pulling open the tunic to worm her hands inside, seeking out and finding the small, fine breasts, fondling them through the sweater.

“Someone might ... ah ... might come in,” Janeway tried, catching her breath as Sydney gently stroked her nipples that immediately responded, protruding through the thin material.

“No one can get in here when the session seal is in place,” Sydney assured her, leaving off her caresses reluctantly to push the uniform jacket off Janeway's shoulders, sliding it down her arms. As Janeway struggled to get herself free of it, Sydney reached down for the hem of the sweater, tugging it free of the captain's trousers.

“I might be needed,” Janeway protested weakly as she raised her arms, allowing Sydney to pull the sweater off over her head. She was left sitting in just her regulation bra, the black half-shirt looking breathtaking on the compact body, leaving her arms, shoulders and midsection bare. Sydney swallowed hard, capturing Kathryn's hands in her own and drawing the captain to her feet.

“You are needed,” Sydney told her, shrugging impatiently out of her own tunic. “Badly, by me, right this minute.”

Janeway captured her in an embrace, kissing her chin, her throat, nibbling the line of her jaw. “I stick to leather,” the Captain tried one final time unconvincingly, more to satisfy the three-reason requirement than anything else.

“It's fake leather,” Sydney told her, pulling back long enough to remove her sweater and bra in one motion. “It actually feels like cloth, which is how I had it replicated.” She caught her breath abruptly as Kathryn covered Sydney's breasts with her hands, using her palms to stimulate the nipples.

“I see.” Janeway kissed down Sydney's neck. “So, do you do this often?”

“Hmm, no, not at all,” Sydney responded breathlessly, unfastening the captain's bra and dropping it on the floor. “But I always try to be prepared.” She sighed happily as she felt Kathryn press against her, her body a fevered heat in her arms, skin sliding smoothly over hers, inflaming her.

“I like officers who think ahead,” Kathryn whispered, sliding her hands down Sydney's back to the waistband of Sydney's trousers, gathering the hem of her underwear along the way, tugging them over the slim hips and letting them drop down the muscled legs.

“I like captains who appreciate preparation,” Sydney replied, kicking off her boots. She knelt, pulling down Kathryn's uniform pants, helping her remove her own boots, leaving them both nude. They embraced again and sank onto the couch, entwined as they kissed hotly, deeply, exploring each other with delighted pleasure.

“Does anyone ever use this couch?” Kathryn asked idly as Sydney paid the most loving attention to the captain's chest with her fingertips, stroking featherlight over the stiff little nipples that seemed to harden even more beneath her touch.

“Besides us?” Sydney murmured absently. “I take naps sometimes.”

“Then, why have it?” Kathryn asked reasonably.

“Are you complaining?” Sydney said quietly, smiling. “Would you rather we were on the floor?”

“Uh, no, this is good.” Kathryn laughed, deep and low in her throat.

It sent shivers through the Counselor and she smiled as she nipped the tender flesh of her earlobe. She did so adore making love to Kathryn, drawing out the woman from behind the shell of command, making her moan and arch beneath her with a mere touch. It was powerful, this ability to love another, to make her react so helplessly to her caresses. It filled Sydney with a feeling of fierce protectiveness, the need to please this woman, to fulfill her in every way possible.

She rose to kiss the fine lips again, open, melting kisses that made Kathryn gasp into her mouth, pressing down on her lightly, enjoying the feel of skin on skin, the heat of their bodies pressing together. Kathryn's hands roamed over her spine restlessly, pulling her down onto her with fierce need.

“You're so beautiful,” Sydney whispered, mouthing the captain's chin, the line of her jaw.

“Mm, more biased opinion,” Kathryn murmured, sliding her hands down to the small of Sydney's back, pulling her even closer.

“Not biased,” the taller woman said huskily. “Everyone on the ship thinks so.”

“An exaggeration.”

“Truth.” Sydney smiled and nuzzled Kathryn's throat, feeling the soft moans vibrate subtly against her lips. She slid a little to the side so that she could touch Kathryn's breasts once more, cupping them gently as Kathryn seized her head, pushing her down demandingly. Sydney laughed and bent her head to cover the nipples with her mouth, licking and nibbling the tender flesh with loving intensity, knowing how much the smaller woman enjoyed this.

Sydney supposed it was because Kathryn was not abundantly endowed in this area, and small breasted woman tended to be more sensitive there anyway. In any event, it was a joy to cater to this whim, spending long moments tasting her, touching her, making her crazy with need.

“Oh, Sydney,” Kathryn whispered. “Please...”

Sydney understood exactly what her lover wanted, quickly moving down and parting the elegant legs, opening Kathryn up to her questing lips and tongue, feasting upon her with avid greed. Sydney delighted in the sounds Kathryn made, how eagerly she responded to her, sighing and twisting beneath her loving attention until finally she cried out loudly, ecstatically, arching up in that perfect moment of fulfilment, hands tangled in Sydney's long dark hair.

Sydney continued to taste her until Kathryn was once responding with an even hotter desire, a more demanding fire burning deep within her. Sydney crawled up the compact form to kiss Kathryn deeply, her fingers replacing the attention of her mouth. The captain moaned, licking her essence from her lover's face, tasting it hungrily. With strong hands, she found Sydney's own wetness, penetrating quickly with long, slender fingers, sliding deep into the counselor with tender insistence. Together they achieved a smooth, gentle rhythm, knowing well by this time, just how much pressure they could use, how intense they had to be until, with mingled cries of passion and release, they reached the pinnacle together. They drove through it without pause, pleasuring and being pleasured, feeding off the other with a need so deep it was beyond reason, beyond comprehension.

Sydney lay breathless against her lover, head resting limply on her chest, sprawling across Kathryn's smaller form even as she tried to keep most of her weight off her. Swallowing against a mouth made dry by her helpless gasps, she uttered a small sound of happiness deep in her throat.

“You,” she said positively, “are incredible.”

She felt rather than saw Kathryn smile as they lay there together on the sofa, Janeway stroking her hair lovingly.

“I could say the same about you,” Kathryn responded in that wonderful smoky voice, throaty and deep.

Sydney shifted so that she could look into the wonderful eyes shaded midway between blue and grey, completely satisfied and happy. “I was inspired.”

Janeway just smiled again and gently, tenderly, Sydney kissed her, feeling Kathryn touch her cheek softly with loving fingertips. Then she suddenly shivered beneath her and Sydney reached down, grabbing her tunic from the floor, spreading it over them.

“I shouldn't stay,” Kathryn protested a little.

“I have another hour,” Sydney said persuasively. “Stay with me until I have to get back to work. We have so little time together, and I adore being with you so much.”

Kathryn smiled again, shyly. “Will you come to my quarters tonight?” she asked quietly, settling back into the warm embrace.

“If I can,” Sydney promised. “A lot depends on how much late-night traffic there is. Both Chakotay and Tuvok are night owls. And Paris is always wandering home at odd hours from B'Elanna's.”

“Yes,” Janeway agreed regretfully.

“We still have the day after tomorrow,” Sydney reminded gently. “I've already cleared my schedule. We can stay in bed the whole time if you'd like.”

“I'd like that,” Janeway murmured, her eyes closing as weariness stole over her.

Sydney smiled, resting her head against Kathryn's, watching her as she dozed. Sleep took away even more of the captain's mask, smoothing out the subtle lines of stress and turmoil, taking away years that the burden of command had rested upon this rather fragile being. Protectively Sydney curled around her, holding her gently as she brushed her lips over the fine brow and smooth temples. She couldn't remember ever loving someone this much, this deeply. It was tremendously humbling and not a little frightening.

“Of all the captains on all the ships,” she whispered quietly and smiled. Too quickly the minutes passed and she was forced to wake her. “Kathryn, my next appointment will be here in a little while.”

Janeway made a soft sound of protest, then smiled. “I need to use your shower again.”

“I'll join you.” Sydney smiled back. “Do you need a new uniform?”

“I didn't have the other one on long enough,” Janeway said dryly as she untangled and got up, padding naked into the bathroom.

“Huh, good point,” Sydney said, as she stuffed her now wrinkled uniform into the disposal and replicated herself a new one. She picked up Janeway's clothes and carried them into the bathroom. She lay them on the counter before joining Janeway under the hydro spray, throwing in some sonics because of the time factor. They splashed and played a little but time was too pressing and soon they were out, uniforms redonned, hair put back in place.

Sydney quickly tidied the office, increasing the ventilation to remove the last lingering traces of their scent and what they had been doing. She ordered the computer to place a neutralizing fragrance into the air and abruptly became aware of Janeway who was watching this with amusement.

“I think you've done this before.”

Sydney blushed. “Well, maybe the office thing,” she admitted. She rested her hands on Janeway's waist, holding her gently. “But never with anyone who meant so much.”

“You're a lot more adventurous than I am,” Janeway admitted as they kissed softly.

“Hmm, then we'll have to expand your horizons a bit,” Sydney smiled. “There is still the desk in your ready room.”

Janeway laughed and nudged her in the ribs. “That adventurous I'll never be.”

They kissed once more, then with reluctance, Janeway pulled away and left the office. Sydney took a seat behind her desk, smiling as she leaned back in her chair.

Certainly, there were much worse ways to kill time while awaiting one's next client.

Janeway found herself grinning somewhat foolishly as she walked down the corridor, and with an effort, schooled her face to be more impassive. Honestly, how could she expect Sydney to be discreet if she went around with this self-satisfied air all the time?

Feeling energized, she went to the bridge, deciding to catch up on some reports she had been letting slide the past few days. Chakotay looked up inquiringly as she exited the turbolift.

“I thought you were taking the afternoon off,” he said, getting out of the captain's chair.

“Seven and I finished our match early,” Janeway explained cheerfully. “And since I found myself somewhat at loose ends, I thought I'd finish those engineering reports.”

“Including Seven's?” he asked with a smile, following her into the ready room.

She took a seat behind her desk, managing not to blush as a sudden erotic vision crossed her mind's eye, involving Sydney and that selfsame piece of furniture. “I promised I'd look them over.”

“B'Elanna thinks they're impractical,” he said, sitting down across from her.

“And she's probably right,” Janeway allowed. “But it won't hurt to see what Seven had in mind. She is quite brilliant and her ideas can sometimes inspire better ways of doing things.”

“That's true.” He smiled at her. “I was wondering what your plans were for dinner tonight.”

Janeway shrugged lightly. “I hadn't thought about it,” she said absently, transferring the data from the padd over to her desktop console.

“Can I interest you in some pasta primavera? My quarters?”

“Sure,” Janeway responded, knowing Sydney was booked the rest of the day and late into the evening. “Can I bring anything?”

“Just yourself,” he said, smiling as he got up. “Tonight then. 1900 hours?”

“I'll be there,” Janeway promised, absorbed in the data crossing her screen. She was unaware of him leaving, fascinated by the train of thought Seven had put down in her report. The recommendations themselves were completely out of the question of course, but the idea behind them, the possibilities they projected? They were inspired.

Janeway was amused to find herself feeling a certain amount of pride in Seven, as if she had something to do with creating that wonderfully facile mind. She consoled herself with the thought that she was the one who had brought her back to her Human connections, insisted on rescuing her from the sterile, restrictive Collective.

She occupied herself happily for the rest of the day until it was time for her dinner with Chakotay. They spent a pleasant meal though Janeway kept picking up an odd vibe from her first officer. Janeway credited the odd unease to her new relationship and how romance was altering her perceptions in the strangest ways. She left his quarters and made her way back to the captain's cabin, trying not to feel lonely as she slipped into her empty bed. She tossed and turned for a long time until she heard the soft hiss of her door opening, the stealthy footprints, the metallic thuds as Sydney rebounded off the wall and hit the deck for the second time in as many nights.

“Are you all right?”

Sydney just groaned.

Janeway started to laugh. “Do I need to start sleeping with a night light?” she asked when Sydney finally crawled into bed.

“Maybe I'll just requisition a wrist beam from stores,” Sydney grumbled. “Otherwise I'm going to have to start coming up with stories to explain away these bruises.”

“Let me kiss them and make them better,” Janeway requested as she pulled Sydney into her arms.

“If you think it will help.”

“Oh, I'm sure it will,” Janeway whispered huskily, proceeding to seek out every little hurt.

“I wasn't bruised there,” Sydney noted after a while.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Oh no. By all means, Captain, do carry on.”

And so, a very long and somewhat trying day came to a pleasant and very satisfying conclusion.

Sydney made a notation in her padd and looked up as her door chime sounded. She keyed open the door, regarding her next client with interest. Commander Chakotay had not utilized her services since coming on board and like Captain Janeway, he displayed a sort of ambivalence towards her profession. She was anxious to discover what had finally provoked him to make an appointment.

“Please, Commander, have a seat,” she invited, staying behind her desk, hoping the more formal arrangement would make him more comfortable. There would be time enough later to remove the desk between them as they talked.

He sat gingerly, obviously ill at ease. She waited patiently as he looked around, his attention taken finally by the print above her desk; a panoramic view of the Alberta Rockies with a black Arabian stallion in profile against the purple and blue mountains. It tended to evoke a feeling of spaciousness and freedom in the person regarding it. The horse's mane was lifted in the wind, the tail streaming out behind like a flag, the finely shaped head lifted with the nostrils flared as if it was about to break into a run at a second's notice.

“You ride?” he asked, curiously.

He was seeking a connection, she realized, some sense that they had something in common. “I grew up on a ranch in the Alberta foothills. That holo image is one I captured of my horse the day before I left for the Academy. As far as I know, Shadow's still racing the wind.” She observed him evenly. “What about you?”

He smiled. “Not really. There were horses on Trebus where I grew up but I was always a tech head. My father liked riding though.”

Stone nodded, waiting quietly. Chakotay looked around some more, then faced her, raising his eyebrow. “I suppose you're wondering why I asked to see you.”

“I'm sure you have a good reason,” Stone said gently.

“Yeah,” he allowed. And was silent for a few more moments.

Stone kept her expression mildly interested. “Is there some concern, Commander?”

“Uh, this is completely confidential, right?”

“Nothing leaves this office, but if I feel you are a threat to the physical wellbeing of yourself or another, or your problems were so serious as to be beyond my ability to help, I would, by necessity, have speak with the Captain.”

“I can understand that,” he nodded. “We had a guy who murdered one of our crew the second year in the Delta Quadrant.”

“Sudor,” she agreed. “I read his file. I believe that he would have required more help than I would have been able to give him. I would have had to speak to the Captain in that instance.” She regarded him closely. “Do you think I will have to speak to the Captain about you?”

“No, god no,” he said. He took a breath. “I mean, I have killed.” He looked at her somberly. “In the Maquis sometimes ... things happened.”

She nodded. “Don't forget, I just left a war. And the Athena saw quite a lot of action. I rarely stopped to analyze any Jem'Hadar I was forced to ... dispatch.”

He nodded, smiling a little and relaxed a bit, though he was clearly building up to something. “It's about the captain. And our relationship.”

Stone nodded. A chain of command conflict, she thought. Chakotay was captain material himself and it must be difficult to always must submerge his own leadership abilities to those of Janeway's. Especially after five years. Most first officers had achieved their own command by this time except for those who truly found contentment in playing the supporting role. She just did not see this man as being one of that type of first officer. He was a leader, not a follower.

“To put it in a nutshell,” he said finally, starkly. “I'm in love with Kathryn.”

Four years at Starfleet Academy, another four at Starfleet Medical, years more of dealing with all sorts of situations on the Galaxy class starship Liberty under the precise mentorship of Vorak, the Vulcan ship's counselor; all that experience and training kept Stone's face impassive, her gaze level, her heart from crawling up her throat and leaping out her mouth. But it was close. Very, very close.

“And does she know this?” she asked, her voice sounding normal though it seemed to be coming from quite a distance.

“I think she does,” he said. “But we decided to not to act on this for a while.”

“How so?”

“Well, we were stranded on this planet when we were exposed to this virus, and it was understood that we would ... well, settle down and raise kids,” he explained. “We grew very close, but the ship returned with a cure before we acted on it. And so, we left it at that. But lately she's seemed ... softer somehow, more approachable. Almost as if she's reconsidering her command and how it keeps her away from being a woman. From being in love. I think she's ready to act on the feelings we share.”

Stone took a breath, slow and easy. “Are you sure she returns these feelings?”

“There's no one else on the ship she's as close to, except Tuvok and they're just friends. And he's married anyway. No, I think she's starting to consider her options especially since she got that Dear John letter from Mark and realized she was free. I didn't want to press her then but now I'm starting to think it's time. She's ready to fall in love.”

Stone swallowed. “What is it you expect from me?”

“I guess, I just needed to tell someone,” he said with an easy smile. “I know you'll keep this quiet, which isn't easy to do on a ship this size. I didn't want it to get back to her before I was ready to act.”

“And what exactly are you going to do?”

He frowned. “Uh, I figured maybe you could help me there as well. I've never been involved with someone ranked above me. I was hoping that you could ... give me some tips on how to handle the rank thing.”

“Ah,” Stone said. She leaned back in her chair, steepling her hands, fingertips pressing together. “Perhaps you should start from the beginning, Commander. Go over the entire relationship with me so that I can best ... point you in the right direction.”

He nodded, feeling much more comfortable now. “Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, I guess the first time I saw Kathryn was when she captured my ship.”

Stone listened very, very carefully.

Janeway entered sickbay, cradling one hand gently in the other. The Doctor looked up at her arrival, dismayed when he saw the blood on her fingers.

“Captain,” he said, rushing over and escorting her to the nearest biobed. A tall, sparse form beneath his blue and black uniform, the Emergency Medical Hologram had far exceeded its original programming, achieving sentience. So, when she heard the concern in his voice, she knew it was genuine.

“I don't think it's that bad,” she protested mildly as he ran the medical probe over her hand, looking intently at the readings on his tricorder.

“Diagnosing yourself now?” he said, a touch of aggravation creeping into his tone. “I was unaware you had been attending medical school when you weren't being a captain. What happened?”

“Just a little accident in my ready room,” she explained sheepishly. “I kept getting power surges in my replicator so I decided to fix it myself. A minor slip.”

“I see,” he said, his bald head gleaming mutely in the fluorescent brightness of sickbay. “Now you're a captain, a doctor and an engineer. I fail to see why you keep the rest of us around at all.”

She sighed and remained silent as he ran a dermal regenerator over the gashes in her fingers. Within a minute, she was healed, flexing her hand experimentally to stretch out the new flesh, pleased at the lack of pain. “Nice work, Doctor.”

“I am handy at some things,” he pointed out acidly.

She smiled. “I have to be allowed some fun.”

“Hmm, I might question that. By the way, you're way overdue for your physical. If you've got time to tinker with equipment, you should have time to stay and let me run a few tests.”

Janeway slipped off the biobed quickly. “I'm sure you have other patients,” she said hastily. She frowned, looking over her shoulder at the form pacing uneasily in his office. “What's wrong with Ensign Wildman?”

“She's not here for medical reasons,” he explained. “Naomi has been having some problems and she's in with the counselor now.”

“Is it serious?” Janeway asked.

“I don't know,” the Doctor said and the fact that it was a painful thing for him to admit was quite evident. “All I know is that it involves Seven of Nine. She's in there too.”

Janeway frowned, shooting him a look and walked into the office where Ensign Wildman paused in her incessant pacing as she saw the captain. “Captain?”

“Hello, Ensign,” the Captain said gently. “I understand your daughter is having some problems?”

“Nightmares, Captain,” the blond woman responded distractedly. “Counselor Stone seems to think that if Naomi and Seven can get together, Naomi won't be so scared of her. But I'm beginning to regret letting the counselor talk me into this.”

“I'm sure Counselor Stone is doing what's best for Naomi,” the Doctor said, trying to calm the woman.

“I know, but Seven is in there,” Ensign Wildman said. “She's not familiar with children. What if Seven does something to scare Naomi? Or worse.”

“I don't believe Seven would ever harm a child, but if you are really worried, I'm sure we can go in and talk to the counselor.”

The Doctor frowned. “I don't think that's a good idea. The red light is on and that means she's in session. Only an emergency override signal can open the door.”

“Then we'll just have to override it,” Janeway said, walking toward the door which joined the counselor's office to sickbay. “That's merely a formality to keep people from barging in.”

“It's more than a formality,” the Doctor said urgently, scurrying after the two women. “It's a regulation.”

“I'm worried about Naomi,” Ensign Wildman said, emboldened by the captain's presence. “I have a right to go in. The counselor said so.”

“But the captain might not be allowed,” the Doctor mumbled, way too late. Janeway overrode the lock and they entered the room, the Doctor craning his neck to peer over the two women. Then he got a look at Stone's eyes and hastily turned himself off, deciding he would rather be inert than find out any more about the mysterious world of the counselor's office at this moment.

Seven and Naomi were sitting on the floor in the center of the room, a low table in between them covered with a collection of paper and various jars of pigmentation. It was difficult to tell which had more paint, the large sheets of paper, or the participants themselves. Naomi had a particularly striking silver streak around her left eye and a starburst pattern on her right cheek. The four-year-old promptly smiled as she saw her mother.

“Look momma, I'm a Borg like Seven,” she said. “'Cept she was 'simlated. I wasn't.”

“I see, darling,” Wildman said, looking at her daughter with a mixture of concern and surprise.

“I like Seven,” the child said brightly. “She's funny.”

“Perhaps you'd care to join in their playtime,” Stone offered gently, but with the underlying steel of an order that could not be disobeyed. “Now that you've arrived.”

Janeway gulped as she got a look at Sydney's eyes. She had never seen her lover's emerald gaze take on that flinted jade quality before and with an instinct that comes with being in love, she realized that this was bad. Very bad. Though the counselor wasn't showing it, perhaps because of the child and Seven, Janeway was very aware that Stone was as furious with her as it was possible for her to be.

Hastily, both the Captain and Wildman joined the other two at the low table, and before she knew it, Janeway was immersed in finger painting, finding herself covered in bright streaks of color that smeared a good part of her uniform and most of her hands as Naomi insisted on making the two adults 'Borg' as well. But while Ensign Wildman was painted a subdued blue, Janeway's 'implants' were a brilliant shade of red, to go with the uniform. No one could accuse Naomi of being less than color coordinated when it came to fashion.

Stone downplayed the interruption, giving the impression that the two had been 'invited' to play with Naomi and if Seven knew better, she gave no indication of it. Though she did raise an eyebrow when Naomi liberally smeared paint all around Janeway's cheek. The child then instructed Seven to do Janeway's 'eye piece' as she did her mother's cheek because she wasn't allowed to get paint next to people's eyes.

Seven promptly did so, with a quiet enjoyment in her ice-blue gaze as she delicately dabbed paint around Janeway's eye. Then, cautiously, she did the same for Wildman, deliberately not noticing as the ensign flinched at her touch. Pleased with her playmate's work, Naomi granted Seven a big hug which smeared even more paint over them but clearly Seven did not mind, her face soft as she accepted the tiny embrace. It was fun and happy and if Janeway tried not to look at Stone directly, no one seemed to notice. Then playtime was over and Wildman bore her splattered child off to their quarters and hopefully a bath that Stone promised would remove all traces of the paint.

Seven looked at Stone. “You were correct,” she said with a trace of admiration. “It is Ensign Wildman who is afraid of me. Naomi was quick to understand I would not harm her.”

Stone dipped her head in acknowledgment. “And now Naomi can show her mother that she does not need to be afraid of you either. But this will take time, Seven. I want to thank you for your help.”

“I enjoyed it,” Seven said, with a trace of surprise.

Stone smiled. “I'm glad. By the way, I believe a high intensity sonic burst will get that paint off your implants.”

“I will try it,” Seven allowed and left, leaving Janeway to face Stone alone.

“I don't suppose I could use your shower?” Janeway asked with every ounce of charm she possessed. She tried to look even more woebegone in her splattered state.

It did not make so much as a crack in Stone's impassive face.

“I have a client coming,” she said precisely. “You'll have to shower elsewhere. And wherever that is, you might want to review Medical Regulations twenty-seven through forty-three. I will be in your ready room at 1600 hours to discuss them with you.” Her voice was pure glacier ice, impervious, impenetrable.

Janeway opened her mouth, took another look at those eyes, and decided space was exactly what they both needed now. She nodded stiffly and left the office, affecting not to notice the startled and amused glances that came her way as she returned to her quarters to change.

She was not looking forward to 1600 hours at all.

Stone found herself leaning on her desk heavily, breathing hard as she fought the fury and hurt that was swirling inside her. How could she? How could Kathryn disobey the fundamental right of confidentiality that the counselor/client relationship demanded? This had never happened to her before and she wasn't quite sure how to deal with it. Then the chime at her door told her she couldn't now anyway.

Closing her eyes, exhaling a long, slow, controlled breath, Sydney took a seat behind her desk and keyed open the door. She opened her eyes as Commander Chakotay came in. She could have wished for any other client at the moment, but unfortunately, she had to take what the universe dealt her. No matter how she felt.

“Commander,” she greeted in a voice a great deal calmer than she was inside. “How are you today?”

“I'm all right,” he replied easily as he took a seat. “I saw the captain as I was walking through the corridors. She looked like she was on the wrong end of a da Vinci painting.” He frowned suddenly. “She didn't seem too happy when I asked what happened. Do you think I'm pushing too hard?”

Stone took a breath. “I'm sure she was just dismayed at whatever had caused her to appear less than professional before her crew.” Stone winced internally. Maybe she should have let Kathryn get cleaned up here. But dammit, the captain was out of line. Way out of line.

“Well, I thought she looked wonderful anyway,” he said. “I told her that.”

“And how did she react?” Stone asked evenly.

“Not as well as I hoped,” he admitted. “She just looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Then suggested I get my eyes checked. It doesn't seem to be going well.”

It had been two weeks since Chakotay had first come to Stone with his revelation and since then Janeway had finally noticed his offers for dinner and walks on the holodeck for being what they were; romantic advances. She had come to Sydney for advice and she had been somewhat in a quandary about what to say to her. In fact, her suggestion that Kathryn tell him to bugger off was not accepted at all. Janeway didn't want to hurt his feelings and she was appalled that Sydney had suggested it, though somewhat gratified at the mild display of jealousy. Sometimes it was hard for Sydney to know what role she was supposed to play at any particular moment.

Stone nodded. “You know, Commander, I was curious about something you mentioned the last time. That you felt something changed between you and the captain during the Borg/Species 8472 encounter. Could you elaborate on that?”

He looked thoughtful. “You know, it isn't anything concrete, but after I went against her orders and broke her agreement with the Borg, she seemed to stop trusting me as much. It's nothing I can really put my finger on...” He trailed off uncertainly.

“Can she trust you?” Stone asked gently.

“Of course,” he said with a touch of outrage. “I'd never betray her.”

“I think you just finished telling me you did,” she pointed out. “She gave you strict orders before she was sedated by the Doctor, one might call them 'last command orders' and you followed your own path.”

“I had to,” he said stubbornly.

“I realize that, but perhaps she didn't truly realize what that meant until she was shown that you have to go your own way.”

“And you think because of that, she can't trust me anymore.”

“It is irrelevant what I think. What does she think?”

He thought about that. “She knows that I can't always follow her orders,” he said slowly. “But she also knows that I wouldn't be any good to accept command if I didn't do what I thought best. That's what being a captain is all about. As a captain, she understands that.”

“And as a lover?” she said carefully. “As a partner?”

He looked stricken. “Oh, God.”

“And can you give her that in return?” she asked carefully. “Can you be with someone who must go their own way even though it might not be your path?”

“No,” he said, his voice troubled. “I don't think so. This isn't the first time my beliefs have caused me to break vows that I truly meant at the time. Vows to my father, then to Starfleet, then to the Maquis. I guess that's why she stopped trusting me completely. When I broke faith with her, I also broke her absolute trust in my word.”

“I'm sure she does trust you,” Stone said. “As a captain. Otherwise, she would have replaced you. She'd never let anyone stand in the way of the good of the ship and while she may not be prepared to put you in a position where you might go against her again, I'm sure she has absolute faith in your capabilities.”

“But a lover or wife requires more,” he said with difficulty, realization clouding his eyes. “And I can't give her the absolute faith she requires. I can't promise to always follow her path, especially at the cost of my own. And while some people can accept that, deep down, she never would. Eventually, it would pull us apart because she's Starfleet with all that entails and I'm not.”

Stone regarded him a moment. “What does your spirit guide say?” She personally didn't buy the mystical shades of his beliefs but she knew he did and that was all that really mattered. They had discussed it last session and she advised that he look to it for suggestions.

He took a breath, then looked vaguely sheepish. “Pretty much the same thing, come to think of it. I just didn't want to hear it. I guess I have to, now.” He favored the counselor with a weak grin. “It's hard figuring this stuff out.”

“It is,” Stone agreed. “I admire your capability for honesty, for understanding yourself, Commander. Not all my clients have that ability.”

“Sometimes it's easier to lie to yourself.” He smiled painfully. “Thank you, Counselor. You helped me keep from making a complete fool of myself.”

“I don't believe you would have ever done that,” she said gently. “You're a good man, Chakotay, and your own man. Someone, I'm sure, will be able to appreciate that fully and accept it.”

“I'll just have to stay away from captains.”

“Being true to themselves is what makes them captains,” she agreed somewhat ruefully. “If it's any consolation, I'm sure if positions were reversed, Janeway could not offer you the same absolute faith either. Neither of you can rely absolutely on someone else, but neither of you can accept anything less in a personal relationship. It's neither right nor wrong. It's just who you both are.”

“What about you?”

Sydney blinked, surprised. “What about me?”

“Do you require absolute faith?” He was honestly curious.

It was not the practice of Sydney to share personal details of her life with patients. For one thing, it was considered unprofessional. But these were unique circumstances. These were not just her clients, these people were supposed to be her family, her community and they were going to be stuck together for a very long time.

“I need faith in me as a counselor,” she said carefully. “From my clients and my superiors. For this whole process to work, people have to believe in my qualifications. But personally, I can follow someone else's path if I love them. I might argue, I might resist, but in the end, my path will always be at the side of my beloved. To me, a relationship is more important than a career. I would try not to let anything take priority over that.”

“Maybe I should have fallen in love with you.”

She smiled. “Maybe, but physically, Chakotay, you don't quite have the equipment I like dealing with.”

He thought about that for a moment, then laughed. “Got you,” he said and nodded. “Fewer women on the ship than men,” he noted, turning suddenly professional. “And now you've not only taken yourself off one side, you've come over to the other in terms of competition. Could be a problem.”

“That could be a problem,” she agreed. “Not me, necessarily, but the male/female ratio. Especially for a generational ship if Voyager becomes that. You people have avoided discussing that at any great length, haven't you?”

He took a breath. “We concentrate on getting home. Preparing for the event we don't seems defeatist in a way.”

“I suppose,” Sydney allowed. “But it's been five years. I give it possibly another one or two years, then there will be no avoiding it. The biological need to reproduce is strong. And as people begin to psychologically accept that they are in the Delta Quadrant for the duration, plans will have to be made to allow for families.”

“I'll start thinking about that,” he said. “Forewarned is forearmed.”

Sydney smiled wryly. “I believe the captain appreciates preparation.”

Janeway stared at the information flowing across her screen and felt a little lightheaded. She had known that the regulations regarding ship's counselors were a little different than for the rest of her crew but she hadn't realized how much weight they swung. Apparently, Starfleet took this 'independence of command' fairly seriously. More so than Janeway had and now she realized just how bad the trouble was.

No wonder Stone had been so angry with her. Janeway's overriding that lock had been a breach of protocol indeed, breaking at least ten regulations, including one which could have seen the removal of a pip were they back in the Alpha Quadrant. How they would handle it here, with the added complication of their personal relationship, was not something she could figure out now and certainly nothing she was looking forward to.

The soft sound of her door chime alerted her and she glanced quickly at the time. 1600 hours, on the dot. She took a breath and wondered how she should best do this. Should she remain seated behind the desk, in a position of authority? Be standing, to meet Stone as an equal, or should she dash up to the upper level and be sitting on the couch, attempting to keep this informal so that she could what? Beg forgiveness?

She took a breath and settled back down behind the desk. No matter what else, she was still captain, this was still her ship and every decision she made, she was prepared to stand by. Even the wrong ones. That's what being a captain was all about.

“Come in,” she said calmly.

Stone came in and stood in front of her desk, at full attention, hands linked firmly behind her back.

“Counselor,” Janeway said, glad that she had decided to approach this completely professionally.

“If this were the Alpha Quadrant,” Stone said in a voice of ice. “I would already be on the horn to Starfleet Command to lodge a formal complaint. And to request an immediate transfer.”

Stung, Janeway tried not to show it. “I understand the seriousness of my actions,” she said quietly. “I thought I was assisting a crewmember who was in distress and I will never apologize for that, but for not knowing the repercussions for breaking regulations, for not realizing how serious this is, I accept full responsibility. The question is, what do we do about it? Because we aren't in the Alpha Quadrant.” She regarded Stone evenly, a grave expression on her face.

Stone looked away first, visibly upset. “You don't know what you've done at all,” she said, and while her voice was still ice, there were cracks appearing. “You violated a fundamental principal that counseling must have to work, the inalienable right to confidentiality. Not to mention the fact that you could have scared or startled the child or Seven, causing either or both traumatic repercussions.”

“I didn't have the whole story,” Janeway agreed gently. “And that is my fault.”

“Perhaps it's mine,” Stone said coldly, walking up the stairs to the upper level. “I didn't make it clear enough what the regulations are. I've never had to brief a captain before. They were always aware of what my position entailed before I arrived.” She turned to face Janeway, looking down at her with angry eyes. “And respected my abilities, knowing I was fully capable of carrying out those responsibilities.”

“I respect your abilities,” Janeway protested, getting to her feet and joining Stone on the upper level. She stopped a few feet away from her, linking her hands behind her back, perhaps to keep them from trembling. “This isn't about your capabilities as an officer.”

“It's exactly what this is about,” Stone said furiously, gesturing in emphasis. “This is about you not having the faith to accept I knew what I was doing. It was not believing in me enough to know I will do what is right for this crew. When that is my job!” She took several deep breaths, clenching her hands into fists at her sides. “You have no faith in what I do. You have no respect for it. I cannot serve a captain that does not respect my position.”

“Sorry, but I'm the only game in town,” Janeway said flippantly, and regretted it the instant it was out her mouth.

Sydney's face went white. “The next planet we come to, I will disembark,” Stone said, her voice brittle. “I would prefer one with warp capability so that I can try to make my own way back to the Federation.”

Janeway suspected she was pale herself, conscious of the blood draining rapidly from her head. “You can't be serious.”

“I am deadly serious,” Stone said. “I will not serve under you. I can't.”

Janeway took a breath, trying to regain control of the situation though she suspected she didn't have much to begin with. “What about us?”

Stone winced and looked away. “That has nothing to do with this. This isn't about us personally. It would absolutely kill me to have to leave you. But as a counselor, as a Starfleet officer, I have a responsibility to this crew. I cannot serve a captain who does not respect my position. Why can't you understand that?”

“I do,” Janeway said, a hint of desperation creeping into her tone. “I do understand that. What can I say that will make you believe that I realize I've made a bad mistake? How can I learn from that mistake if you resign?”

“Captain....” Stone began, then had to walk away, standing in front of the large windows that dominated the room, looming over her as the warpfield distorted stars streaked by. She was standing stiff, arms linked across her chest, head bent.

Hesitantly, Janeway took a step closer, then another until she was standing directly behind her, only a breath separating them.

“I've been here for a long time,” Janeway said softly, looking at her lover's back, feeling tears sting the back of her eyes. “And I've been doing it completely on my own, no Starfleet Command, no Federation, no one to pass the buck to. It's been all me. And some of the decisions I've made have not been correct, or best or even necessarily right, but they were mine. And I accept full responsibility for them. I'm not used to having someone I can lean on, that I can share the burden with and I may never be able to accept that fully. I will continue to make mistakes, Counselor. Some I will never be able to make right. But this one I can if only you'd let me.”

She saw Sydney tremble, then the way the woman's shoulders slumped. Janeway dared to put her emotions fully on the table. “God help me,” she said huskily. “I don't think I could bear it if what I did as captain drove away who I need as a woman.”

“You,” Stone said, turning around, eyes full, “do not fight fair.”

“No,” Janeway agreed humbly. “I don't. I'm sorry, Sydney. This will never happen again.”

“It can't happen again,” Stone said bleakly. “Not if you want me to remain your ship's counselor. I cannot serve this crew if the captain doesn't have faith in me. I can't grant them the confidentiality they require.”

“I understand,” Janeway said emphatically. “I give you my word.”

Stone dipped her head, hesitated for a moment that seemed an eternity to Janeway. “I accept that.”

There was a silence, stark and harsh between them.

“Would it be alright if the captain hugged the counselor?” Janeway asked in a shaky voice.

“No, it would be unprofessional,” Sydney responded, equally as uncertain. “But I know the woman sure as hell could use one.”

Carefully, Kathryn wrapped her arms around Sydney, holding her tightly, letting herself be held in return. “This is our first fight,” she murmured into her lover's throat.

“No, it was the first conflict between captain and counselor,” Sydney corrected her seriously, face pressed against the auburn hair. “Please believe me, it was never about you, it was never about us. I never wanted for one second to leave you. It tore me into a million pieces to even think about it. But darling, please understand, in the Alpha Quadrant, there would have been no second chance, as much as I would want it. My duty to Starfleet and my oath as a counselor would have required me to immediately transfer out after making the formal complaint. I really need you to know this as absolute truth.”

“I know,” Kathryn said, hearing her voice crack. “I guess this is the first time I was ever glad I was in the Delta Quadrant rather than the Alpha Quadrant.”

Sydney just pulled her closer, as if trying to wipe out this day and Janeway let her, burying her face in the soft, warm hollow of Sydney's shoulder. They held each other for a long while, then gently Sydney drew back, bending down to find Kathryn's lips. Janeway kissed her back eagerly, deeply, wanting nothing more than to heal the raw edge that had appeared inside her when she had realized what she had done. And what it might cost her.

Neither of them heard the chime of the door, the first time or the second. When Commander Chakotay came in, padds in hand, it caught them completely by surprise.

“Kathryn, why aren't you answering th—” He stopped dead, looking at the two women with profound shock.

Hastily, they disengaged, though both knew it was far too late. The expression on Chakotay's face was proof of that.

“Now I see why you discouraged me from approaching her,” Chakotay said coldly, eyes dark pits of fury.

“My relationship with Kathryn has nothing to do with the professional relationship you and I have, Commander,” Stone said calmly, standing at easy attention. “You came up with your own reasons why it wouldn't work between you and her. All of them were valid and none of them had anything to do with me. If they had, I would have told you that Kathryn and I were already involved.”

“That's very convenient,” he snapped, “But not real convincing.”

“Is there something going on here I don't know about?” Janeway interrupted, looking at the two adversaries with a certain alarm.

“All the time I was going to you for help, you were doing this?” he said, ignoring the captain as he moved up the stairs, glaring up at Sydney. “You saw an opening and dived in ahead of me?”

“That's your problem, Commander,” Stone said with chill professionalism, standing her ground. “You see this as a competition, and me as a rival. Chakotay, the reason she was 'softening' was that she was already in a relationship with me. She wasn't suddenly vulnerable and easier to envision as the woman you wanted her to be. Her being in love is what you were sensing, and confused it as being directed at you.”

“I would appreciate not be spoken about like I'm not even here,” Janeway tried again. She took a step, moving between Stone and Chakotay. “Commander, I don't know what you were considering for us in terms of romantic possibilities,” she said firmly but gently, looking at him with compassion. “But I thought we had settled that a long time ago. We're friends, and we work together. That's all.”

He shook his head. “On New Earth,” he said, returning her gaze with uncomprehending hurt darkening his eyes. “We were going to be together. We were going to have children, for god's sake. It was just a matter of time for us. It's always been just a matter of time.”

“I didn't have much choice on the planet,” Janeway said, realized that was less than diplomatic as she saw him wince, as if struck. “Chakotay, we have a wonderful friendship. But that's all it will ever be. I'm sorry if I ever gave you any other impression.”

“I'm not blaming you, Kathryn.” He turned his attention on Stone, fist clenching. “You know, you really had me fooled, Stone. Thinking you were here to help me, to help us.”

“Believe me, Commander,” Stone said with sincerity. “I never allowed my personal feelings to interfere with how I treated you.”

“I don't believe you,” he said furiously. “I think with your grasp of psychology, you can make a person believe what you want. Including making them think you love them.”

Janeway took a breath, holding down her own anger with an effort. “That will be enough, Commander,” she said coldly. “Not only are you insulting the counselor, you're insulting me and my judgement. This conversation is over.”

“Yes, Captain,” he said, but his eyes were hot pools of bitter flame as he looked at Stone.

“What did you want to see me about?”

Sullenly, he handed over the padds he had been carrying. “The plasma relay readings, and Neelix's monthly supplement report.”

Janeway took a breath. Nothing that couldn't have waited for another time. So, he had been using them as an excuse to see her, and consequently, discovered that she and Sydney were involved. 'Unfortunate' did not seem an adequate enough word to cover this.

“If there's nothing else,” she said calmly.

“No, sir,” he said, turned on his heel and left.

Janeway looked at Stone who regarded her evenly. “Why didn't you tell me he was seeing you about me?” she said, then held up her hand. “No, let me guess, confidentiality again, right?”

Sydney sighed. “I'm sorry, Kathryn, but that's how it has to be. As I told him, I have nothing to do with why you and he never got together.” She sighed. “Though I doubt he believes that now.”

“What do you think will happen?” Janeway asked.

Sydney shrugged lightly as if to say it was out of her hands now. “I honestly don't know, but I will tell you one thing.”

She looked towards the door.

“That did not go well at all.”

B'Elanna Torres glanced up briefly as she heard the large doors hiss open to engineering. She identified Commander Chakotay and looked back down at her console, wondering what brought him down to the bowels of the ship. She was startled when he suddenly appeared at her side.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, voice strained. “Right now.”

She nodded briefly, eyeing him with surprise and motioned with her head towards her office. She wondered why he seemed so agitated. Certainly, he had always seemed the most contained of all the people on board this ship. She pushed the assorted padds and engineering schematics off the desk and chairs in the small, crowded room and took a seat, looking at him expectantly. “What's up, Chakotay?”

“Counselor Stone and the captain are involved,” he said, visibly upset.

Despite herself, Torres snickered. “Tell me something I don't know.”

He looked at her as if pole-axed. “You know?”

She spread her hands wide. “Who doesn't? Come on, they spent a whole lot of time deliberately avoiding each other, then all of a sudden, they're spending all sorts of time together. Then, a couple of weeks ago, Harry saw Janeway coming out of Stone's quarters at 0400 hours one morning though I don't think she saw him. And Tom is constantly seeing Stone go into the captain's quarters late at night. She doesn't have to knock either apparently. And last week, during the captain's off day, Stone rescheduled a whole lot of appointments and they didn't come out of the captain's room the entire time. So, either the captain is crazy and Stone is treating her, or they're involved. I don't believe anyone thinks the captain is crazy.” She grinned at him. “But isn't it cute how they're trying to be so discreet?”

He looked suddenly pale. “Does the whole crew know?” he said in an odd tone.

She shrugged. “Maybe half,” she guessed. “The rest don't really give a damn.” She tilted her head slightly as she looked at him. “You just find out?”

“Yeah,” he said weakly, looking pale.

“It bothers you,” she noted shrewdly.

“A little,” he admitted. “I guess ... I thought Kathryn and I...”

B'Elanna restrained a smile. “Well, I hate to be the one to point this out, but you had four whole years to make a move. Stone had her in bed inside of four months. I'm guessing the captain knows what she wants.”

“Or maybe she just thinks she knows,” Chakotay said stubbornly. “Maybe Stone tricked her somehow, made her fall in love with her.”

B'Elanna looked at him in amazement. “Chakotay, Stone's a ship's counselor, not a Deltan. And besides, do you really think the captain can be psyched out? She's the last person who could be seduced against her will. No, she'd go into any love affair with her eyes wide open, which is probably why it took so long for her to get involved with anyone.”

“But she's lonely, and has been for years,” Chakotay insisted. “Loneliness can make you do really stupid things.”

B'Elanna frowned. “Is this about Tom and me?”

“No,” he said, waving it away impatiently. “That's your business.”

“And this is the captain's business,” B'Elanna said pointedly. “Let's face it, Chakotay. Counselor Stone is good looking, she's funny, she's intelligent, she's totally supportive when you're having a bad day and usually understands what you mean as opposed to what you say. My god, if it weren't for Tom, I'd have taken a run at her. Don't blame her because she's smart enough to like what she sees and goes after it, even if Voyager's first officer isn't.”

He stared at her. “You've been no help,” he said flatly, meaning it.

She shook her head. “I don't know what kind of help you expected. I like Sydney and I think you're just ticked because she won something you assumed was yours without effort.”

“B'Elanna,” he said shortly. “Don't give up your day job.”

She watched him as he abruptly left her office and debated with herself internally for some time. Then, reluctantly, she touched her comm badge. “Torres to Counselor Stone.”

“Stone here.”

“Just a word of warning, Counselor,” she said, trying not to hate herself. Chakotay was a good friend and they had known each other a long time, long enough for B'Elanna to accept his faults, which included developing blind spots when it involved women. Seska came immediately to mind. “Commander Chakotay knows about you and the captain. He's not happy.”

There was a pause and with a streak of amusement, she wondered if the counselor was going to try to deny a relationship existed. Honestly, you'd think people in Starfleet would know how hard it is to keep secrets on a starship. Especially when the starship was out in the middle of absolute nowhere.

“Thank you, B'Elanna,” came the even reply. “I really appreciate this. I realize how difficult it must be for you to do this despite your friendship with Chakotay.”

“Hey, just returning the favor,” B'Elanna said shortly. “You helped me deal with that whole Seth incident. I always repay my debts.”

“Thank you anyway,” she said. “Stone out.”

B'Elanna took a breath as she killed the channel and looked at the clutter around her morosely. Why did it feel like the whole ship was now reflecting the way she liked to keep her office?

A total, and complete mess.

Stone folded her hands primly on her lap and regarded Janeway gravely from her seat in the chair facing the coffee table. “Well, now B'Elanna knows.” She paused, going over the conversation in her head. “And for some reason, I get the impression she wasn't really surprised. Interesting.”

Janeway leaned her head back on the top of the couch where she was sitting, looking up at the ceiling. “So before long, everyone is going to know,” she said grumpily. “And then what?”

“Then I don't have to sneak into your quarters anymore?” Stone suggested lightly. “I can just walk in anytime?”

Janeway raised her head, favoring her with a look that Stone was sure had incinerated far better beings than her. “You find this amusing?”

“It's done, Kathryn,” Stone explained, spreading out her hands. “Spilt milk. So, we have a relationship, one we tried to keep it quiet, but now it's out of the bag. How we deal with being together will set the way others deal with it. And frankly, I'd rather deal with it as adults who have every right to be together rather than as kids sneaking around behind the barn. It was fun, clandestinely meeting on the sly while it lasted, but now it's time to be mature about it.”

“You think it's that easy,” Janeway said, a touch of exasperation in her tone.

“Of course not,” Stone said, blinking. “We're both private people, Kathryn, and for the next little while, because of our position on the ship, we'll be front and center in all the speculation, rumor and gossip. It's going to be a real pain in the ass. But trying to deny or hide what we feel about each other would be just plain silly at this point. I'm telling you, if we act like our relationship is status pro quo, then the rest of the crew will start to as well.”

“Including Chakotay?”

Stone shrugged. “Him, I don't know. He seems the hotheaded type, especially when it comes to women. And he really did believe your relationship was more than merely friendly.”

Janeway covered her eyes with her hand. “Maybe it would have been,” she admitted. “Under different circumstances.”

“Maybe,” Stone allowed noncommittedly. “In any event, these are not different circumstances.” She paused. “I won't let him come between us, Kathryn.”

Janeway took her hand away, looking at her with a faint frown. “That sounded a little like a threat.”

“It was,” Stone said, firmly, making her position very clear. “I won't play the understanding counselor if he tries to hurt you. He created a fantasy in his mind and now if he insists on trying to live it rather than deal with being disappointed, then I have no qualms about keeping him from interfering with our relationship.”

Janeway groaned. “Oh, God. Being the object of two people's affections sounds so much more romantic in the holo novels.” There was no response and she looked up to see Stone looking at her oddly. “What?”

“You like holo novels?” Stone said with a deliberate tone of disapproval. “Those nonsense stories where there's always a dead wife and a mystery and a brooding man who only needs the right woman to bring out his true self?”

“What if I do?”

“Honestly, Kathryn, if you want to roleplay, I've got some wonderful programs that I haven't tried in absolute ages,” Stone said with enthusiasm. “The Dungeons of Goethe, the Lost Treasure of Sanssibar, the Haunted Swamps of Utrexk? Just tremendous games.”

“Ohmigod,” Janeway said, looking at her in absolute horror. “You're one of those S&M people.”

“S&S,” Stone corrected, trying not to laugh. “Sword and Sorcery. What's wrong with that?”

“Don't you think they're a touch simplistic?” Janeway said with outrageous condescension. “All that gratuitous violence, slogging through dank places looking for treasure and pretending to be something out of myth and legend. I suppose you're the thief.”

“I am the warrior, Kyllisto,” Stone said with great dignity. “And I suppose you always play the evil governess.”

“For your information,” Janeway said, with elegant outrage, with even an English heather tinge to her voice, “I am always the virginal young maiden.”

That was it, Sydney couldn't hold it any longer and she started to laugh, Janeway joining her until they were literally howling. Janeway even fell to her side on the couch.

“Oh, God,” she gasped, arms folded over her stomach. “This is absolutely not funny.”

“I know,” Sydney gurgled and off they went again until they finally subsided, more from lack of breath than because they no longer found it funny, though what had set them off in the first place was hard to tell.

“I don't know how, but you always manage to make me laugh,” Kathryn said, sitting back up as she wiped her eyes. “No matter how bad the situation.”

“This isn't that bad, Kathryn,” Sydney said dismissively. “Just a little bit of jealousy to start the day. Positively routine in my line of work.”

Janeway took a breath. “Then I'm glad I'm not in your line of work, because I can tell you, this is just going to play havoc with the ship. I've seen it before and it's part of the reason I never became involved with anybody on a ship I was commanding.”

“And you know what,” Stone said, slipping out of her chair and sliding onto the couch beside Janeway. “I can't fault you for it. But if you had to break the rules, I'm glad you did it for me.” She chuckled again. “I now understand why you refuse to make love on your desk,” she added dryly. “Anybody can walk in here, anytime.”

“Most use the chime,” Janeway agreed. “But Seven didn't for the longest time. I'd be doing something, I'd look up, and there she was, right in front of me. It was rather hard on my nerves for a while.”

“But now she does, so clearly, she's improving,” Stone said, stretching out beside Kathryn so that they were touching all along their sides from shoulder to ankle. “I wonder why Chakotay didn't?”

“Oh, I'm sure he did,” Janeway said. “I've never known him not to. I don't think we heard it. We were busy.”

“Oh.” Stone thought about that. “Right, we were.” She glanced over at Janeway who had turned towards her, pulling one leg up under her, resting her chin on her hand. Those cool blue-grey eyes were observing her closely.

“Seriously,” she said, Captain to Counselor, “How bad could this be?”

“Your first year,” Stone said thoughtfully. “Maybe torn the ship apart, polarizing each side, Chakotay's people and yours. Now, it will probably be like every other ship. Some will take sides, some will be vastly shocked, and most probably won't give a damn beyond a mild interest. Everyone knows who you are, and what you stand for. They're your crew now, not two separate groups bound together by circumstance.”

“What about you?” Janeway said. “Will this hurt you?”

“It might, if he launched a deliberate campaign to smear me,” Stone said. “But I just don't see him as that sort of guy. He'll try to do what's best for the ship.”

“What if you're wrong?”

“Even if I am, you should stay out of it,” Stone advised. “You should stay ‘above’ it. That would be the best thing for the good of the ship. Chakotay and I will find a way to handle it between us.”

Janeway blinked. “I don't like this.”

“I know,” Sydney said. “Not being in control of the situation is anathema to you. But for both Chakotay and I to come out of it intact, you must stay out of it. It's between me and him.”

“And I'm the prize?” Janeway said distastefully.

“Not you, necessarily, his pride,” Stone said. “Listen, Kathryn, his pride was hurt bad today and for a man like him, it can be a heavy blow. He will gnaw on it for a while, then he'll decide on what he will do about it. But if you step in, either to protect me, or to help him, it'll just get messier. He needs to regain his pride in his own way.”

“I can't believe this is about pride.”

“Don't underestimate it, darling,” Sydney said. “I'd bet my last strip of latinum you've done some pretty wild and crazy things just because your pride was stung. Right?”

Janeway started to answer, stopped, eyes becoming distant as if by some memory, then looked away. “Maybe,” she allowed grudgingly.

Sydney chuckled and leaned against her, sliding her arm around the captain's shoulders. “You're not going to tell me the wild and crazy things?”

Janeway lowered her head, peering at her from under lowered lashes. “I think not,” she said coolly.

“Not even if I ask very nicely,” Sydney asked, leering gently.

“No one could ask that nicely,” Janeway laughed. “But you're more than welcome to try.”

“Really?” Sydney looked very hopeful. “When?”

Janeway rested her head on Sydney's arm. “How about tonight,” she said in a rueful tone. “Since the cat's out of the bag, you might as well just come over for dinner.”

“Well, since you make it sound so romantic,” Sydney said dryly. “Are you sure you didn't play the evil governess?”

Janeway looked up at her, a soft expression crossing her face. “You're right, that did sound sort of tactless, didn't it?” she said by way of apology. “Darling, please come by my quarters for dinner. I promise a splendid evening.”

Sydney wrapped her other arm around the captain. “That's better,” she told her, kissing Kathryn on the temple, then down her cheek, finally finding her mouth.

Luckily, no one interrupted these kisses.

“That was a great meal,” Sydney sighed, leaning back with a pleasantly stuffed look on her face.

Janeway was forced to agree with her. She had surprised herself with her touch on the latest concoction she had come up with from the replicator, and now they were snuggled together on the couch in her quarters.

The chime from the door cut through their cuddling and with a resigned sigh, Kathryn pulled away. “The bedroom or the bathroom?”

“Neither,” Sydney said, holding her gaze. “This is part of it, Kathryn. We're both off duty and we're in your personal quarters. I'm not going to hide.”

Uncertainly, Janeway looked at her but not wanting to argue anymore today, she got up to answer the door. It was Seven of Nine and the young woman appeared considerably agitated.

“The computer said that the counselor was here?” she said without preamble.

Janeway stepped aside, wordlessly holding her arm out to indicate the counselor who had stretched out comfortably on the sofa.

“Hey, Seven, what's up?” Sydney asked casually.

“I have had a nightmare,” the Borg responded. “While regenerating.”

“Ah, you don't need a counselor for that,” Sydney said, waving her hand. “That's a parent thing.” She looked pointedly at Janeway who stared back at her, not believing what she had just heard.

To her shock, the captain saw Seven was now looking at her as well, with an expectant sort of expression. “Uh, have a seat Seven,” Janeway said, stalling. “Tell me what it was about.”

“I do not wish to sit. It was Species 8472,” Seven said, remaining upright in the middle of the living area as she regarded Janeway with wide, frightened eyes. Janeway was surprised to realize Seven was quite disturbed. “They were chasing me through the ship.”

“Oh.” Janeway looked helplessly at Sydney.

“I think someone needs a hug,” Sydney hinted strongly.

“Oh, yes, of course.” Janeway went over and embraced Seven awkwardly. “It's all right, Seven,” she said, patting her back gently. “It was just a dream. We all have them. Believe me, I wouldn't let anything hurt you.”

“I believe you,” Seven replied, calming as she reached around and hugged Janeway back, stiffly but sincerely.

Despite feeling a bit ridiculous, Janeway was touched by the young woman's faith in her.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Seven asked in a small voice.

Sydney sat up suddenly, looking at her keenly. “Are you lonely in the cargo bay, Seven?”

“Sometimes,” Seven admitted. “Especially after a dream like that.”

“Do you have them often?”

“No, but tonight, I did.”

“Perhaps it's time to get you better quarters,” Sydney suggested gently.

Janeway felt a little ashamed. She hadn't thought about how Seven would feel in the cavernous storage bay as she progressed into humanity. Shoved into a corner like some sort of cargo even as people continually accessed the bay for equipment and storage. She really should be more aware than this. How could she expect Seven to act human when she didn't even treat her like one?

“We'll see to it, tomorrow,” Janeway assured her quietly. “In the meantime, of course you can stay here, Seven. The sofa can be altered to be a bed.”

“I do not sleep,” Seven told her.

“Tonight, you should try,” Sydney said. “You can always go back and regenerate an hour or so tomorrow.”

“All right,” Seven said, and the relief in her voice was telling. She looked at Sydney. “Are you sleeping here tonight as well?”

Sydney hesitated. “I don't think so, Seven. Why?”

“You and the captain are together,” Seven said with assurance. “You are in a romantic love.”

“Yes,” Janeway said with a sigh. At least the word 'copulation' had not been mentioned. “Who told you?”

“Harry Kim mentioned it six days ago while we were working on the astrometrics array,” Seven responded.

“Last week?” Sydney's mouth altered slightly.

“He told me he saw the captain coming out of your quarters a month ago very early in the morning. And that Tom Paris saw you going into the captain's quarters three times in the previous five nights. He seemed quite interested in this.”

“Oh, he did.” Sydney started to laugh.

Janeway looked at her. She didn't find this amusing at all. She was still getting used to Chakotay finding out earlier in the afternoon and to discover that he was far from being the first was appalling. She was aghast to know it was already common knowledge on the ship. Apparently, they had not been as discreet as they had hoped.

Sydney spread her hands, catching the captain's look. “It's impossible to keep secrets on a ship this size. We should know that by now.”

“Would you explain the nature of your sexual relationship to me?”

“No,” Janeway said loudly, startling the other two. Seven regarded her with confusion.

“Seven,” Sydney said in a gentler tone, shooting Janeway an admonishing look, “that is a private matter between Kathryn and myself. We're not comfortable knowing that others discuss it nor do you need to know about it. It is enough for you to know that we do love each other, and together, we care a lot about you.”

“So that makes you my parent as well?”

“Yes, and she can tell you about the birds and the bees when it's time,” Janeway said, throwing up her hands in surrender.

“The captain,” and Sydney leaned heavily on the word, “is joking, Seven. You and I have not developed that sort of parent/daughter relationship. Not yet. But maybe someday.”

“Very well,” Seven said, perfectly content with the answer.

“Do you need something to sleep in, Seven?” Janeway asked, slightly abashed.

Seven looked confused. “It is required to change for sleeping, as I change for Velocity?”

“I'll replicate you something. You can change in the bathroom,” Sydney offered.

“Acceptable.” Sydney led Seven into the bedroom and its ensuite.

Janeway took a seat on the couch and felt things spinning out of her control, not knowing where she could even begin to halt the rapid spiral. She looked up after a space of time that seemed to go by way too quickly to see Seven and Sydney return, the former dressed in a one-piece flannel outfit that covered her from head to toe. It was pink and there was a bunny embroidered on the chest. She looked altogether far too adorable and Janeway eyed Stone skeptically. “Really?”

Sydney placidly returned her loaded look, completely unrepentant. “I thought you would have had the bed made up.”

“I suppose I should have,” Janeway admitted. “Wool gathering.”

Sydney softened and patted her on the shoulder. “It's been a long day,” she said sympathetically. “Come on, I'll help you.”

Before long, they had the couch made up and Seven tucked neatly into it, though the reality of tucking in someone who was almost six feet tall seemed rather absurd to the captain.

“Now, Seven,” Sydney said, giving her some last-minute instructions. “Close your eyes and let your mind drift. Your body will take care of the sleeping part itself. Don't try to force it. Just relax.”

“I will try,” Seven told her gravely. “What if I have another dream?”

“I'll be right in the next room,” Janeway told her. “I'll hear if you call out.”

“That will be acceptable.”

Sydney then took Janeway's hand and led her to the door. “I have to go. Dinner was wonderful.”

“I wish you could stay tonight,” Janeway said in a low voice. “But I know that would be a little complicated.”

“Yes, I'm not quite at the point where I can go to bed with you and just sleep,” Sydney admitted softly. “I'd lay awake all night wanting to start something and knowing I couldn't because Seven would be bound to walk in and ask what I was doing to mommy. Way too traumatic for all involved. Best to have some distance between me and temptation.”

“I'm sure you're right.” Janeway hesitated, not knowing what to do.

Sydney took the initiative, cupping Kathryn's face in gentle hands and kissing her sweetly, and tenderly. “Sleep well, my love.”

“You too,” Kathryn said quietly, and tried not to feel empty when Sydney exited. She took a breath and turned around, startled to see Seven regarding her with avid interest from the sofa bed.

“That was a kiss?”

“Yes,” Janeway said. “A good night kiss.”

“Ah,” Seven said. “And people 'in romantic love' kiss good night.”

“Yes,” Janeway said, heading for the bedroom. She paused halfway there and suddenly veered towards Seven, feeling obligated to clarify. “People who love each other in other ways also kiss goodnight.” She bent down and kissed Seven gently on the forehead. “Good night, Seven.”

“Good night, Captain,” Seven said uncertainly.

Janeway brought down the lights and went into the bedroom where her own lonely bed waited. Why, oh why, did she fall in love with a psychologist and how much more complicated was her life going to get because of it?

She had a gut feeling it wouldn't be long before she found out.

Sydney strolled onto the bridge, hesitating as she realized that Chakotay held the conn. Stiffening her shoulders, she nodded politely and headed for the ready room. He did not challenge her or question her presence but neither did he look at her again after identifying her. So, she thought, taking a breath, he was going to keep it personal, not professional even though the rest of the bridge crew was aware of the snub. She could tell by their uneasy glances, their raised brows. That wasn't good either. They had to settle this, one way or another.

She touched the door chime. From the tiny speaker set in the hull beside the door, she gratefully heard Janeway's throaty voice bid her enter. With a sort of relief, she entered the captain's inner sanctum.

Kathryn smiled as she saw who it was, her eyes shading to blue. “Hello,” she said, getting up. “What brings you up here in the middle of the day.”

“I was wondering if you've decided which quarters Seven's going to be assigned,” Sydney asked as they went up the stairs to the upper level.

Janeway sighed as she took a seat on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table. “It's a lot harder than I thought it would be,” she admitted. “The regular crew compliment is 141 on the Intrepid class vessels. We have 150 people. We've already doubled up where we could and frankly, after a week, I've run out of options.”

“That's what I thought,” Sydney allowed, sitting on the chair. “You put me in the Chief Medical Officer's quarters when I came on board, didn't you?”

“Yes,” the captain nodded. “We were keeping them open as guest quarters because the Doctor has no need of them.”

“So, put Seven in with me.”

“Really?” Janeway looked at her dubiously. “Part of the problem is Seven's personality. It's hard to find someone willing to share quarters with her. B'Elanna refused flat out.”

“Rudely, I'll bet,” Stone laughed. “Really Kathryn, I'm used to cramped quarters. After the Athena, I'm practically rattling around in that big bedroom. We can utilize the movable bulkheads, break it into two smaller bedrooms. Seven and I can share the ensuite and remaining living area. As for Seven's personality, I can make allowances that others can't.” Sydney lowered her head and glanced at her from beneath lowered lashes. “And there's always the fact that I'm involved with this woman who has her own place and with any luck, I'll be warming her bed rather than my own a lot of nights anyway.”

“Ah,” Janeway responded with a half-smile. “A lot of nights, you say?”

“If she's agreeable.”

“Hmm, well, if I don't get Seven off my couch, I'm sure my bed will never be as warm as I like it. It's been rather cold lately as a matter of fact.”

“Sort of solves both our problems then, doesn't it?” Stone said blandly.

“I believe it does,” Janeway said, then frowned faintly. “What about the counselor/client thing. Could that be a problem?”

Touched that Janeway had considered that, Stone reached over and patted her hand. “Thank you, Kathryn, but Seven and I are moving beyond that a bit. Granted, in normal circumstances, it wouldn't be considered appropriate, but then, these are far from normal circumstances. I think I would be good for Seven, help her learn to socialize a bit more. The Doctor's lessons only go so far.”

“Hmm.” Janeway eyed her narrowly. “I'm not sure I like that.”

“Honestly, what possible trouble could I get her into.”

“I'm sure you don't want me to answer that question.”

Stone snickered and leaned back in her seat. She found her eyes draw to the lower level where the desk was and she felt her smile turn into a bit of a leer. She glanced back at Janeway, seeing that she had followed her glance and was now blushing furiously.

“So, you have cold bed problems,” she said, schooling her voice into its professional counselor detachment. “Have you considered the use of other pieces of furniture.”

“We're not going to discuss this,” Janeway said, eyeing her narrowly.

Stone left the chair and sidled over to the couch, inching across it until she was side by side with Janeway who watched her with foreboding expression.

“Don't even think about it,” Janeway warned with a thin smile.

Sydney put on her absolute best expression of innocence. “I have no idea what you're talking about,” she said as she put her hand on the captain's thigh, putting her other arm around Kathryn's shoulders and pulling her close.

Janeway grabbed the counselor's wrist in a grip of iron. “No,” she repeated. “Don't you dare start something you can't finish.”

Sydney laughed. “What if I get Seven moved into my place today? And off your couch tonight?”

“I'm sure a suitable reward can be granted if you can make such arrangements.” Placated, Janeway loosened her grip.

Sydney immediately took the opportunity to run the hand up to the juncture of Janeway's legs, cupping her mound as she captured the resulting startled yelp in a searing kiss. “I have missed you,” Sydney murmured against her lips.

Janeway resumed her grip on the wrist, but didn't push the hand away. “Please,” she whispered. “Get Seven moved. Then we'll talk.”

“On my way,” Sydney promised, but she didn't move immediately. She left her fingers where they were, feeling the incredible heat penetrate the material of the captain's trousers. “I wonder how wet you are,” she added in a growl.

“Oh, god,” Janeway said, voice husky. She kept her hand tight around Sydney's wrist but the other woman could feel less resistance. In fact, instead of pushing away, Janeway was almost, though not quite, pulling the hand closer to her. Sydney had only to flex her fingers to feel Kathryn through the uniform and it took all her willpower not to.

Convulsively the captain swallowed. “We absolutely can't. Not here. Not now. We. Can. Not.”

Sydney took a deep breath, head spinning. She thought she could smell Kathryn's desire, the unmistakable musk tickling her nostrils though it could easily be her imagination playing tricks. “I know,” she told her sincerely. “I honestly know that.”

“You have to move your hand,” Janeway commanded unsteadily.

“You have to release it first.”

Carefully, keeping her eyes pinned on Sydney's, Janeway let go of the wrist. With great reluctance, but honorably holding up her end of the bargain, Sydney slowly moved her hand away from the heat, sliding down the thigh and off the captain's knee. Both were breathing heavily and Sydney felt sweat beading at her hairline. She glanced up and saw that Janeway's forehead was also damp.

Sydney laughed shakily. “Do you know what you do to me?”

Janeway sat up and found a napkin on the ever-present tea tray sitting on the low table. There was a glass of water, the sides beaded with condensation, sitting on the tray next to the coffee pot and cups. She dipped a corner of the napkin in the water and patted her face with the cool liquid.

“I think so,” she allowed carefully. “If it's anything like what you do to me. Don't you have things to accomplish, people to move?”

“Tonight then,” Sydney said and got up quickly before she changed her mind. She skipped down the stairs and then stopped by the desk. She glanced back at the captain who was regarding her with burning eyes. She smiled slowly, with lascivious intent and patted the desk. “Pretty sturdy.”

“Out,” Janeway ordered, voice cracking.

Sydney laughed, low and dirty, and left the office, though not before composing her face into a proper professional impassiveness. She noted that Chakotay did not look at her as she left which was just as well. In the turbolift, she leaned weakly against the wall and tried to bring her racing imagination under control, visions of Kathryn arching beneath her searing the inside of her eyelids.

Tonight, she thought. First things first. Get Seven set up and moved. Then we can be together.

No, she corrected herself almost immediately. First thing was to go to her quarters and take a shower.

A very cold shower.

Janeway stayed on the couch, attempting to bring herself and her reactions under control. Had it ever been like this before in her life? This aching, absorbing need for another person, this desire to throw caution and common sense to the wind, to be with them no matter what circumstances they found themselves in. Several times in the preceding week she had wanted to go to Sydney wherever she was, her office, her quarters, just to be in her presence, to see her smile, to be close enough to smell the fragrance of her hair. But every time she had tried, something had come up, either duties or Sydney had been busy or someone had needed her. The days had passed quickly and they had been limited to a stolen kiss here, a quick, heartfelt embrace there. Today was the closest they had come to anything intimate and it had taken all her discipline, all her iron will not to give in to Sydney's playful advances.

Janeway honestly didn't think that Sydney would have taken it too much further, but oh, how she wanted her to. So much of her had wanted to pull Sydney against her, to feel her fingers on her, to remove this captain's uniform and offer the woman in her to her lover without any restraint or hesitation, to make love here on the couch with no thought to what lay outside the door.

She could only imagine the reaction if someone walked in on that one.

She laughed, an unamused bark at herself, and stood, a little dismayed to find her knees were weak. Dear god, she wasn't a teenager. She was a mature woman with responsibilities that could destroy a lesser mortal. Now was not the time to give into her baser self.

But tonight? That could be a different matter entirely.

If only Sydney could manage to do what she claimed and get Seven off her couch. Janeway took a slow breath and walked across the upper level, down the stairs, deliberately ignoring the chills going through her, the unsteadiness of her legs. Then she sat down behind her desk and thought she would pass out from the erotic vision of Sydney on that selfsame piece of furniture that suddenly passed through her head.

“Stop,” she ordered herself out loud. She picked up her coffee cup and took a large swig. The contents were cold and had grown bitter but it was exactly what she needed. She gagged a little bit, shaking her head, and picked up the astrometrics report. At least look like you're busy, she prodded herself impatiently. With renewed determination, she set to work, immersing herself in star charts and navigational plotting. Though when the door chime sounded a couple of hours later, it was a welcome distraction and she leaped on it quickly. “Come in.”

Chakotay entered the room. He had been so uneasy around her ever since the incident with Sydney. She mourned the loss of their easy friendship and wondered if they would ever get it back.

“Yes, Commander?”

“I have the specs on the new flyer you asked for,” he said evenly, no inflection in his voice whatsoever. “Tom seems to think he can start actual construction soon.”

“Good,” she said, then, as he turned to go, she held out her hand. “Chakotay, wait.” She knew this was exactly what Sydney had asked her not to do, but this had gone on long enough. It had to be settled and if these two didn't, then as captain, she had to.

Reluctantly he turned around and at her gesture, gingerly lowered himself into the chair across from her. “What is it, Captain?”

She gave him her best maternal look. She had plenty of opportunity to practice it the last week. “Chakotay, don't you think it's time to move on?”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” he said, being deliberately obtuse, making her spell it out.

She sighed. “Chakotay, this has to be worked out. For the good of the ship, if nothing else. Certainly, you and Sydney would be better off.”

“I hope you're not suggesting that she and I 'kiss and make up',” he said acidly.

“I don't know what you have against her. She's been a wonderful addition to the crew, been a tremendous help to Seven in her need to adapt to us....”

“Maybe you should make her your first officer,” he said coldly. “She's certainly qualified.”

“Maybe you should grow up,” she returned coldly, having had about enough of this. “Whether you like it or not, Sydney and I are in a committed relationship.”

“Please don't tell me she loves you.” He leaned forward, his expression intent. “Captain, can't you see, she uses people. She tells them exactly what they want to hear and in doing so, leads them to do exactly what she wants them to do.”

Janeway blinked. “I have no idea where you get this idea of Counselor Stone. Nothing could be farther from the truth.”

“I know you can't see it,” he said. “Nobody on this ship seems to be able to. This isn't even about you and me anymore, Kathryn. It's about her, and her need to be in control.”

“As opposed to yours?” She stood up and regarded him with angry eyes. “I've tried to be patient with you, Commander. I accept that perhaps you believed that our relationship may have been more personal than friendship and that you were hurt by me finding love with someone else. But this talk of conspiracy? It's just a trifle irrational.”

He stood up as well. “What I find irrational,” he said, and his voice was very calm. “Is your blindness when it comes to her. But I do realize that Stone and I need to come to some sort of an understanding. I will look her up and settle this.”

Janeway took a breath, forcing her anger down. “That's all I can ask,” she said quietly, with approval.

He nodded. “I want you to know, that while I do realize that for whatever reason we can't ever be together, I do still care about you, Kathryn. You mean the world to me.”

“You're very special to me too,” she said, forcing a smile. She reached up to pat his cheek. “Thank you, Chakotay.”

“You're welcome, Kathryn,” he said. He raised an eyebrow at her. “If you don't mind, I'd like to find Stone and take care of this.”

“Of course,” Janeway said. “I'll take the conn.”

She accompanied him out the door and as she went to her captain's chair on the bridge, she favored him with a look just before the turbolift doors slid shut. She froze briefly during sitting down, and then shaking it off, she assumed her seat. It was nothing, she told herself, leaning back in the comfortable leather. Just her imagination working overtime. He was just going to talk to Sydney. That's all. It was difficult for him but as Voyager's first officer, he knew what was best for all concerned. She was proud of him, proud of his being able to put the ship ahead of his own personal feelings. It was the mark of a good Starfleet officer.

So why was she left with Chakotay's expression imbedded in her mind, the solid jaw set firmly, the dark eyes glinting with some undecipherable emotion?

She let out a breath and ignored the trickle of worry threading through her mind.

“Is there anything else you need, Seven?” Stone asked as she looked at the very small pile of items that Seven had gathered on the console in cargo bay two. The pile consisted mostly of padds and technical equipment. “Don't you have any personal items at all?”

“I did not need any as Borg,” Seven reminded her coolly. She hesitated. “And I have yet to accumulate any as a member of Voyager.”

“Well, I will admit that space-goers, as a rule, learn to travel light,” Stone admitted, “but this is impressive, even for you. Still, I suspect that now that you have your own space, one where people can't come in to rummage around looking for cargo, you'll find yourself accumulating stuff.”

“'Stuff'?” Seven eyed her curiously.

Stone smiled. “Stuff,” she repeated. She was pleased. A work crew had already been the cabin, rearranging the movable bulkheads to turn it into a two-bedroom dwelling and if the living area had been practically halved, leaving it cozy indeed, then at least, Seven could finish moving in right away. Which left the evening open to spend with Kathryn.

Stone couldn't believe how much she was looking forward to it. It was almost a physical ache, a need that practically reached addiction levels.

“They will leave the alcove, won't they?” Seven said, looking at the Borg cubicle she had known as her space for the last eighteen years, the tubing and wires dangling from its greenish metal.

“Of course,” Stone assured her. “You still need to regenerate every so often. But they'll probably remove most of these consoles and the work area you set up. Does that bother you?”

“It is disturbing,” Seven admitted. “I do not know why.”

“Change is always disturbing, but you know, you don't have to do this. You can stay in the Cargo Bay if you wish.”

Seven shook her head. “No,” she said firmly. “I am no longer Borg. It is time that I adapted to more Human living arrangements. And I accept that the Captain does not wish me to remain with her.”

“It's not you, Seven,” Stone said, resting her hand gently on Seven's shoulder. “The captain needs her privacy. We need the privacy. When two people are in love, they need time to be together with just each other. It's not a matter of wanting you out as much as it is wanting to be alone with me. Do you understand that?”

“Yes. The captain wishes you lived with her,” Seven said positively.

Stone raised a brow. “She said that?”

“No, but I have learned ... what is the expression? Ah, 'to read between the lines'. Her sleep patterns are restless and when she sleeps, she dreams of you.”

“How do you know what she dreams of?”

“Because she says your name in her sleep,” Seven stated. “Loudly.”

“Oh,” Stone said, blushing but pleased. She glanced at Seven who was regarding her with a faintly indulgent look and she was forced to laugh. “I miss her too, Seven. I'm going to be with her tonight. Will it bother you to stay alone in your new quarters?”

“No,” Seven replied. “In truth, I find the captain to be a most inefficient roommate. She rarely takes time in the morning to organize her day and she frequently comes back to her quarters late, making a great deal of noise in doing so. She also eats in the living area, leaving debris over the carpet and in the couch where I must later attempt to sleep. It is most uncomfortable. I will be appreciative of obtaining my own personal living area.”

“Well, I eat at the table,” Stone said, grinning. “And I won't be in your room at all unless you invite me in to visit.”

Seven looked pensive. “Why is it that Humans require contact with others yet there are times when one requires solitude?”

“I'm not sure, Seven, but it's something all people have to one degree or the other. Some people want to be around others all the time, some people need long periods away from others. Most fall somewhere in between. It's perfectly within standard parameters.”

The clank of the large cargo bay doors sliding open caught their attention and they both looked up to see Commander Chakotay enter. Stone felt a sinking in her stomach but she didn't allow it to alter her expression.

“Commander,” Seven greeted politely as he walked toward them.

“Seven,” he said abruptly. “I need to talk with the Counselor. Alone.”

Seven raised an eyebrow, looking at Stone who gave her a gentle little push with her hand toward the door. “It's all right, Seven. Why don't you wait in the corridor and I'll be with you shortly? In the meantime, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't allow anyone to come in and interrupt us.”

“I understand,” Seven said, though the look she gave Stone was plainly worried.

Stone wondered what she had picked up via the scuttlebutt racing around the ship. She knew that it was common knowledge that the first officer and the counselor didn't get along, and it was assumed that it had to do with the captain choosing to be with Stone. Though a good percentage didn't care, there was a significant number that found it all deliciously scandalous and contributed to the gossip with their own versions of what might be behind the antipathy between the two.

Stone waited until Seven had left the cargo bay and the big doors had slid shut, enclosing her and Chakotay in the cavernous area full of containers and stacks of equipment.

“You wished to speak with me?” she asked, watching him carefully.

“No, the Captain wants us to talk,” he said, moving closer. “Exactly according to Starfleet protocol. I, on the other hand, would prefer to handle it the Maquis way.”

“Maquis?” That was all Stone had time to get out before Chakotay belted her across the jaw, sending her toppling over some cargo containers. She tucked into a roll, disbelief warring with anger in her as she came smoothly to her feet. He wanted a physical confrontation? How positively archaic.

She touched her lip, glanced briefly at the blood her fingers brought away, a deep, dark red, several shades away from the Human norm and felt the anticipation of battle and cold fury rise in her like a flood.

“Two things you should know,” she said coldly, avoiding his next rush, slamming her elbow into his solar plexis as he stumbled by and forcing him into another pile of crates. “One, I've spent the last two years prior to coming here fighting Jem'Hadar soldiers. And you, sir, are no Jem'Hadar.”

She swung a roundhouse kick at his head, one he barely avoided, taking it on his shoulder and forcing him back onto the deck.

“The second is that my grandmother is a Vulcan/Romulan mix.” She took his next rush, allowing it to collapse her to the floor where she used his momentum to tuck her knees into his chest and launch him over her into the Borg alcove where he landed heavily. “So, although I'm smaller than you, the denser muscle mass allows me to counter your larger build quite effectively.”

She leaped upright, balanced easily on the balls of her feet, hands held outward in a protective method of self-defense. She tried to channel the battle lust rising in her, the absolute wrath that would make it all too easy for her to go after him and take him apart, piece by piece.

“Grandma Saavik was also quite instructive on the best methods of dismemberment,” she warned, lips drawing back in a savage smile. “It was knowledge she acquired growing up on Hellguard. Have you heard of Hellguard, Commander?”

“No,” he said shortly, getting to his feet and approaching her, a lot more cautiously this time. “And I don't care, Seska.”

He swung again, Stone blocking it and smashing her forearm into his abdomen. She followed it up with some kicks, first one foot then the other snapping his head back. As he staggered backward, she added another kick to his chest, then danced lithely out of his range, pausing some distance away.

“Who's Seska?”

“What?” He stumbled to his feet, shaking his head like a great grizzly bear. He swayed uncertainly, vulnerable to an attack, but Stone stayed where she was, feeling the anger drain away and the training reassert itself.

“You called me Seska,” she said. “Who is Seska?”

“Don't try to confuse the issue,” he growled and picked up a steel bar which had been lying next to the dais. “That's what she always tried to do.”

He swung the bar at her head and she ducked, sliding to the floor and hooking his legs in hers, twisting to bring him to the deck. The bar flew out of his hands, landing a scant few inches away from her temple, the metallic clang reverberating in her eardrum. She rolled out of his reach, leaping to her feet again.

“This isn't about me, is it?” Stone said, with dawning comprehension. “It's never been about me. Or Kathryn. Tell me about Seska, Chakotay. What did she do to you?”

He lunged at her again and it occurred to Stone that this was not the best way to conduct a session, though it was certainly good for honing the reflexes. This time she allowed him to bowl her over and he landed on her, driving the air from her lungs in a whoosh. He straddled her and closed his big hands around her neck.

She looked up at him passively.

“If you're going to kill me,” she said with complete, professional detachment. “Let it be because it's me you hate, and not Seska.”

He stared at her, then looked down at his hands as if he had never seen them before. “Oh my god,” he said in a voice of utter devastation.

He let her go, getting off her and stumbling over to the Borg alcove where he collapsed, breathing heavily. Stone swallowed a few times, experimentally, decided everything was pretty much still in working order and rolled wearily to her knees. She crossed over to him, putting a hand on his heaving shoulder.

“Tell me about Seska,” she said firmly, in a voice of command. “Tell me everything.”

And he did, of the Bajoran Maquis woman who had been in his resistance cell, of falling in love with her only to discover much later that not only was she was not Bajoran, but was a Cardassian spy sent to infiltrate the group. Of how she had played him for a fool for months before the truth had finally been revealed here in the Delta Quadrant. How she betrayed Voyager into the hands of the Kazon time after time, showing him up as a fool again and again. How he had been helpless to stop her, letting down his crewmates. And the captain. How Seska had claimed she was pregnant with his child, with his son, and finally, when the end came, she still cursed him with her last breath as the child, his child he believed was his at the time, was taken by its Kazon father.

He hadn't even been instrumental in getting the ship back. No, that had been the heroics of the psychopath, Sudor, and a hologram, the EMH program. In fact, he couldn't even start a fire for the captain while they had been stranded on the planet by the Kazon, finally having to ask her for help, to give up her hair to assist him. It had been profoundly humiliating, a deep, penetrating blow to both his pride and his self-esteem that he had managed to hide from everyone, even himself, for years. But when he discovered that Kathryn had preferred another, not even a warrior as he was, it had exposed the wound that had never begun to repair itself.

“You are a warrior,” he said huskily, tears staining his face.

“I can take out my enemies,” she admitted with a faint grin. “But it’s not a life choice.”

Hesitantly, a smile crossed his face, small, tentative, but a sign that perhaps he was not as far gone as she had feared.

“I have been such...”

“So, hurt,” Stone interrupted gently, squeezing his shoulder, not letting him finish the self-castigating statement. “And when you're hurt, it's easy to get lost, to strike out randomly. But you've found yourself, Chakotay. And you're strong enough to know that the way you've been acting is unacceptable. And it is not the man you are.”

He looked at her, wincing as he saw the blood dried on her chin. “Oh God, I'm sorry. I have no excuse. To strike someone smaller is the act of a coward.”

She laughed. “Chakotay, you are gallant, but you better look at yourself. You've have at least a couple of cracked ribs and possibly some internal bleeding. Not to mention a busted nose. While I may be smaller, I am your physical superior in every way. In truth, I'm the one who should apologize. I allowed my jealousy to get the better of me.”

“Jealousy?”

“You mean a lot to Kathryn,” Sydney admitted reluctantly. “You've been her very good friend for a long time. She cares enough about you not to want to lose that. Not even now. It's been hard for me to understand that.”

“I didn't think you could love her as well as I could,” he said shamefully. He looked up. “You do love her, don't you?”

“I do,” Sydney said simply. “And if she lets me, I swear I'll take the best care of her, Chakotay. She needs someone to take care of her.”

He managed a rusty chuckle. “Don't let her hear that.”

“Oh no,” Sydney agreed. “She doesn't need to know it.”

The opening of the doors heralded the arrival of that Voyager captain, alerted to what was going on by Seven who was finally too worried to merely maintain her post outside, hearing the battle raging within. She had hailed the captain, insisting that she immediately come down to the cargo bay and the tone of her voice was enough that Janeway had done so without question. Seven was peering anxiously over the captain's shoulder, eyes widening as she took in the bloodied and bruised combatants.

White with fear and anger, Janeway reached for her comm badge. Stone intercepted her hand just in time to prevent the call to security. “It's all right, Kathryn,” Sydney said strongly. “You wanted it settled, it's settled. Right, Chakotay?”

“Absolutely,” he agreed, getting gingerly to his feet. He didn't look at the captain. It would probably be a while before he could.

“Seven, could you see that the Commander gets to sickbay,” Stone asked politely, eyes locked on the flinty grey gaze of Janeway. “And Seven, this is strictly confidential. Counselor stuff.”

“I understand,” Seven said and reached out a hand to the first officer, assisting him as they left the cargo bay.

“It's over, Captain,” she told Janeway as the doors slid shut and they were alone.

“This is completely unacceptable behavior,” Janeway said tightly. “On both your parts.”

“But it worked,” Stone said softly, persuasively. “Captain, he had more issues than I knew about, things that have been eating at him for years. Does the name 'Seska' ring a bell?”

Janeway raised her head as if struck, eyes widening as she absorbed this. “It does.”

“Then you know what she did to him, what she continues to do to him until this day,” Stone said. “We've broken through that. Now he needs help. It won't do anyone any good to make this some sort of disciplinary action. Let it go.”

“Is that your professional recommendation?” Janeway asked icily. “I should throw him in the brig. This sort of archaic behavior is completely intolerable.”

“It is, but honestly, Kathryn, it wasn’t about you or me at all, it was about his demons.”

“He attacked a crewmember. Demons or not, that cannot stand.”

“I appreciate that, but as a counselor, this is within my wheelhouse,” Stone said, releasing her arm and straightening. “I'll need to work with him for several more weeks, but for his sake and the sake of the ship, don't allow this to become some sort of official business. Let it be actions taken in a session. I take full responsibility.”

Janeway looked at her for several moments, breathing deeply and slowly. Stone could see the internal struggle in the captain's eyes, the fear for her lover warring with her need to do what was right for the ship, for her command. Not to mention the outrage that this had been handled outside of her authorization. “You're asking a lot.”

Stone nodded. “I know. And Captain, if we were in the Federation, I’d handle it differently, but here, in the Delta Quadrant, we must create our own solution.”

“Fine,” Janeway allowed finally, not without difficulty. “But just this once. I mean that, Counselor. I am not going to accept fisticuffs as an acceptable form of psychiatric treatment.”

“I understand, Captain,” Stone said, with an internal sigh of relief. She hadn't thought Janeway would go for it. She guessed that she was finally accepting that Stone knew what she was doing after all. Faith was such a slippery concept, so hard to put in someone else, so easy to lose at the slightest hint of distrust.

Janeway's face softened and she touched Sydney's chin gently, fleetingly. “You should have that looked at,” she said, concern darkening her eyes.

“I will, in my quarters,” Sydney said. “It's best I not walk around looking 'like the other guy'. Especially since he was the ‘other guy’.”

Janeway shook her head. “Damn you.”

Sydney laughed suddenly and embraced her, hugging her tightly. “But I'm cute,” she murmured into the auburn hair.

“If you ever do this again...” Kathryn warned, winding her arms around her waist.

“I promise,” Sydney whispered. “No more fights.”

Kathryn drew back a little and carefully kissed her, her mouth barely brushing the swollen lip. “Maybe I can find a dermal regenerator in my quarters.”

“Well, I wouldn't say no to that,” Sydney allowed. “Especially not tonight.”

Janeway gazed at her with exasperation. “I had such plans,” she said ruefully. “A candlelight dinner, roses, soft music...”

“Oh please, don't let this stop you,” Sydney replied. “I am in dire need of pampering.”

“Even though you don't deserve it?”

“Oh, I'll prove to you I deserve it,” Sydney teased. “Afterward.”

Kathryn lowered her eyelids, gazing at her through her lashes. “What makes you think you'll be in any shape to 'prove it'?”

“I heal quickly, under the proper care.”

Kathryn finally smiled. “I guess I could play Doctor, just this once.”

And they left the cargo bay, Stone trying very hard not to limp as they entered the corridor.

Kathryn looked around the room with approval. “Do you like this, Seven?”

“I do, Captain,” Seven said, looking somewhat proud. “It is mine, isn't it?”

“That it is,” Janeway agreed.

The room was small, but well designed. One might even say efficiently designed, which made its possessor properly pleased. The bunk was wide and could be folded up to allow for more floor space. A console in the corner, displaying Borg technology, gave Seven all the access she had in the cargo bay, though apparently did not require the same amount of hardware. The door to the side opened to the ensuite which she shared with Stone. The bunk, open now, was made up with blue and white bedding and in the dead center, propped up against the pillows was a small, brown, fuzzy teddy bear.

“Who's your friend?” Janeway asked, nodding at the stuffed animal.

Seven regarded it somewhat quizzically. “It was a 'house warming' present from Counselor Stone. She said it would help me this first night. That if I woke up and felt lonely, I was to hug 'Teddy'. If that did not work, then I should call her in your quarters.”

“Ah,” Janeway said, with a smile. “I had a teddy when I was younger, too.”

“Indeed?” Seven looked at her with interest. “And did it keep you from being lonely?”

“You know, Seven,” Janeway said, lowering her voice as she leaned nearer. “Don't tell anyone, but it really did.”

“Then I shall try it,” Seven said evenly. “If I awaken and feel lonely.”

Janeway rested her hand on the woman's shoulder. “Seven, are you sure you're not bothered by staying here tonight?”

Seven lifted her chin. “I look forward to possessing my own space. And I know that the counselor has been wanting to be with you. She has missed you.”

“She told you that?”

“Yes, prior to Commander Chakotay entering the cargo bay.” Seven frowned. “Is she all right, Captain?”

“Sydney's fine,” Janeway assured her. “I left her in my quarters using the dermal regenerator to fix her lip.”

“You will look after her tonight?” Seven asked innocently.

Janeway tried not to blush. “I'll do my best. I think she needs someone to look after her sometimes.”

“I think that as well,” Seven noted. “Her job requires her to assist everyone else and their feelings, but she has only you to do that for her.”

Janeway regarded her with some surprise, then smiled warmly. “That's very astute, Seven. You care about her too, don't you?”

Seven nodded. “She always understands what I mean and never becomes angry at me.”

“I know she's very fond of you as well,” Janeway told her.

“I know,” Seven said, but looked pleased nonetheless. “It is time for you to go, Captain.”

Janeway was startled, but laughed anyway. “All right,” she said, as they crossed the tiny living area. “I guess you're right. I do want to get back before Sydney decides to make dinner herself. Just between you and me, she uses too much spice. You might want to keep that in mind when she makes dinner for you.”

“I will.”

Janeway chuckled as she left the quarters, having the unmistakable impression that Seven was trying to get rid of her, either to hurry her back to Sydney or just to get her out of her new room. When she entered her own quarters, she found Sydney laying on the couch, an arm thrown across her eyes. Immediately concerned, Janeway went over and knelt by the sofa, gently removing Stone's arm so that she could look down at the features that were unnaturally stiff.

“How are you?” Janeway asked softly.

“Been better,” Sydney admitted, then her face crumpled as she started to weep.

Janeway gathered her up in her arms, sitting on the couch and rocking her gently as she cried. She didn't know why Sydney had finally broken down but in truth, she had been expecting for hours. No one came out of that sort of knock-down, drag-out fight without repercussions. Especially someone like Sydney, though Janeway realized how very vulnerable Stone was allowing herself to be. Janeway hugged her tightly, murmuring words of love and comfort.

“It's all right, darling,” she said. “Everything will be okay.”

“Oh god,” Sydney sobbed. “I just hate this.”

“What?” Janeway said with a wry grin. “Showing you're Human occasionally?”

“Well, mostly,” Sydney said and half laughed through her sobs.

Janeway didn't quite get that, but she was glad to see Sydney's weeping finally slow, the tears easing as the woman buried her head in the captain's shoulder. “Want to tell me about it?” Janeway asked after a while, stroking the long dark hair gently.

“It's just I detest violence,” Sydney said. “I'm so very good at it.”

“It's more useful than being bad at it,” Janeway noted. “Especially in that sort of situation.”

Sydney drew back to look Kathryn in the eyes. “Kathryn, I could have killed him. Easily,” she said bleakly. “That's part of the reason I was assigned the Athena. Not as a counselor, but because I was so very good at dropping Jem'Hadar soldiers.”

“I see.” Janeway regarded her gravely. “I'm glad you told me.”

“Maybe I should have sooner,” Sydney admitted, resting her forehead against the captain's. “It's so easy for me, Kathryn. Part of my grandmother's legacy.”

“Your grandmother?”

“Admiral Saavik.” Stone drew back to look at the captain's expression. Apparently, it was what she had expected because she sighed a bit.

“I had her at the Academy,” Kathryn said slowly, thinking back. “Survival and Self Defense, as well as Tactical Navigation. She's tall, but so slender, like a willow. This cadet from Deneb V, muscles coming out his ears, thought she'd be a soft touch.”

“I'm sure he was disabused of that notion,” Sydney said dryly.

“So were the rest of us, around the time he went sailing over the heads of the entire class,” Kathryn admitted. She regarded Sydney intently. “That means you're not...”

“All Human? My father is. My mother is half Vulcan, a quarter Romulan and a quarter Human.” Janeway looked at her blankly and Sydney shrugged, bending her head sheepishly. “It had something to do with Ambassador Spock on the Genesis planet. All kept very quiet, and not brandied about much.”

“Romulan?” Janeway asked, eyebrow raised.

“Saavik is a hybrid, Romulan/Vulcan but I was raised Human,” Sydney said. “And I bleed red, not green, as you may have noticed.”

“You're just telling me now?”

“I told you who my parents were,” Sydney reminded her. “That night we raided Neelix's kitchen? I told you that I was one of the brood of the Admirals Stone. I can't help it if you didn't know Amanda Stone is also Saavik's daughter.”

“True,” Kathryn said. “So how does this apply to the violence aspect.”

“I was trained to be very good at it,” Sydney said, sobering. “By all my family. It was kind of shocking to them when I went into counseling which is not the typical Stone choice of career. But today wasn't about counseling, Kathryn. I wanted to hurt Chakotay. I saw him as a threat to me, to us. When he called me 'Seska' it was like being doused with cold water.”

“If he hadn't?”

Sydney paused. “I don't know, Kathryn,” Sydney considered slowly. “Maybe I wouldn't have killed him, but I might have done him some respectable damage. You have to know this about me, about what I'm capable of if forced to defend myself.”

Janeway nodded. “All right,” she said firmly. “We'll keep our fights verbal.”

“I'd rather not have any fights at all,” Sydney said dolefully.

“Agreed,” Janeway said, smiling. “I'm not much for violence, myself anyway though...” Her face darkened, her eyes going distant.

“What?”

Janeway sighed. “Well, if we're doing confessions, when I found out he attacked you, I wanted to hurt him in a permanent sort of way.”

“We're terrible people,” Sydney said, resting her forehead against the captain.

“Absolutely appalling,” Kathryn agreed.

“It's a good thing we found each other.”

“Who else would put up with us?”

“Seven.” They said together and started to laugh.

Sydney woke, reached out and found only a warm depression in the bed beside her. She took a breath and sat up, looking around for her lover. Janeway wasn't in the bedroom and the open door of the ensuite showed no movement in there. Sydney slipped out from between the sheets and picked up a robe, padding barefoot out to the living area.

Kathryn was sitting on the couch, illuminated in the starlight radiating through the large windows arching over the living area. She had her chin resting on her palm, looking pensively out at the stars streaking by, legs tucked up beneath her silken robe. Sydney hesitated in the doorway, not wanting to disturb this picture, captivated by the vision of beauty Kathryn presented. The auburn hair was wonderfully mussed from bed, the clear eyes reflecting the light of a thousand stars. The smooth line of her cheek, the elegant nose ... Sydney felt her heart catch at how very exquisite she was.

Then Kathryn turned toward her, as if sensing her presence and smiled gently. “Hi, darling,” she said softly, reaching out a hand.

“I missed you,” Sydney responded, going over to her, allowing herself to be pulled down on the couch behind Kathryn who leaned back in her arms. “I woke up and the bed was very empty.”

“I was restless,” Kathryn said, snuggling against her. “I didn't want to disturb you.”

“You never disturb me,” Sydney said, breathing deep the fragrance of Kathryn's hair, of her body, warm and so soft in her arms. “Why so restless? Or do you want to tell me?”

“Hmm,” Kathryn said thoughtfully. “I would if I knew why. I don't.”

“Okay,” Sydney said gently. “Do you want to be alone?”

“No, definitely not.” Kathryn rejected that offer firmly, holding Sydney's arms to her. “I've spent far too many nights alone already.”

“I know that feeling,” Sydney said and contented herself with just holding the other woman, not saying anything more. They watched the stars go by for a while, then Kathryn shifted slightly, sighing a little.

“How could I have missed the signs?” she asked softly. “In Chakotay. He must have been hurting for a long time.”

“Sometimes when you're too close to a situation, it's hard to see,” Sydney soothed. “Besides, if there's any blame here, it should be me. I'm the professional and I allowed my jealousy of him to color my perception.”

“Jealousy?”

Sydney bent her head. “I was jealous of your friendship. I guess I was afraid that you were settling for me because it didn't work out with him.”

Janeway took a breath, eyebrows raised as she considered that. “You know that's absolutely not true. Not in any way.”

“Intellectually, yes,” Sydney said. “But our relationship is still new enough that my insecurities still get the better of me sometimes. I'm still learning to have the same faith in the woman as I have in the captain.”

“As I'm learning to have the faith in the counselor as I do in the woman,” Janeway said with understanding.

“That's good,” Sydney noted with an admiring grin. “You've been exposed to me too long.”

Janeway laughed low. “I'm picking up some of the jargon, at any rate.” She rested her head against Sydney's chest. “I know I wonder about things more now. Why I do the things I do, why others react as they do.”

“A side effect of getting involved with a counselor,” the taller woman chuckled. “It wears off after a little while, I assure you.”

“Ah.”

Sydney felt Kathryn press closer to her and she tightened her grip. “I don't suppose I could entice you back to the bedroom?”

“I'm not really tired,” the captain warned in a low voice.

“I assure you, sleep was the furthest thing from my mind.”

Kathryn laughed her throaty laugh and rose, reaching out a hand to capture Sydney's, pulling her to her feet. Sydney wrapped her arm around the smaller woman's waist as they strolled back into the bedroom. There, Sydney untied the silken cord holding Kathryn's robe closed, undressing her with grateful wonder.

“You're so beautiful,” she murmured, nuzzling her ear, the high bone of her cheek. She smiled as she felt the heat beneath her lips, knowing that Kathryn was blushing. “Why do you always blush? It's true.”

“I've never considered myself all that great a beauty,” Janeway responded, her arms entwined around Sydney's neck. “Especially when I was younger. But I'm glad you think so.”

“I do,” Sydney told her. “Your eyes are the most incredibly captivating I have ever seen. Your eyes could illuminate planets, build empires ... they certainly have conquered me.”

“And your tongue could charm anyone,” Kathryn admonished her, but Sydney could tell she was pleased anyway.

“I was hoping my tongue can do more than charm tonight,” she whispered wickedly in the delicate ear as she edged Janeway toward the bed.

Kathryn blushed again. “You're incorrigible.”

“Insatiable, you mean,” Sydney said, lowering Kathryn to the mattress, having drawn the bedding down to the bottom, leaving only the smooth sheet to welcome the two lovers.

Kathryn looked up at her, her face suddenly soft, far removed from the implacable firmness of command, the mask that shielded her so well from everyone else ... everyone but the woman above her. “I love you,” she said quietly, touching Sydney's cheek with featherlight fingertips. “I don't know how or why, I just know I do.”

“You're the universe to me, Kathryn,” Sydney said tenderly, brushing lips over the other woman's forehead, her eyelids, down the fine nose. “You're everything I have ever wanted and needed, but was unable to describe until I saw you. Only fate could have brought us together. Only fate could ever take me from you.”

Kathryn kissed her, and through that kiss, Sydney tasted all the woman's love, all her emotion, knowing that she was trying to show feelings that words were unable to. And Sydney kissed her back, gently, lovingly, wanting so very much to let Kathryn know that she was here with her forever, that the captain would never have to be alone again. Softly she drew back, Kathryn's bottom lip captured between her own, tracing it gently with her tongue, before releasing it to kiss her again, deeper, passionately, feeling desire break loose and accepting joyously Kathryn's ready response. She felt the elegant hands trace her spine, her sides, along her back once more to tangle in her long, dark hair with insistent demand.

“I want you,” Kathryn whispered as Sydney mouthed the rounded chin. “So very badly.”

“And you shall have me,” Sydney told her, biting her earlobe gently, suckling at her neck, her throat. “Tell me what you want, my darling. Tell me what you need.”

“I need you,” Janeway moaned. “All of you over all of me. Inside me.” She turned her head, biting Sydney with easy pressure on her neck. “Make me scream,” she commanded huskily.

Sydney laughed and kissed her again, forcefully. “I'll make you howl,” she promised as she dipped down to the soft hollow of collarbone, feeling Kathryn's fingers press into her back.

Sydney fell on the small breasts as if starving, devouring them, first one, then the other, sucking hard on the swollen nipples, consuming her eagerly but gently, carefully, knowing that the fine line between pleasure and pain was easy to cross and determined not to. For all her passion, her great strength and fire, Kathryn was at her core, a gentle woman, and needed the heat tempered judiciously by tenderness. Sydney was more than glad to provide that delicate balance, needing it herself. Perhaps that was why they were so well matched.

Kathryn arched beneath her, spreading her legs and Sydney reached down to find the warmth and wetness, stoking lightly at first, then with firmness, stirring the simmering cauldron of Kathryn, bringing her to a fevered pitch. Easily she slipped inside, two fingers caressing the silken walls of Kathryn's need, feeling the velvet tightness grasp her eagerly and Sydney pressed deeper until she could feel the most intimate part of the woman. Sydney's thumb found the hard ridge of outer flesh, fully aroused and achingly sensitive, pressing on it even as she flexed her fingers, finding a rhythm that made Kathryn grasp at her, crying out. Sydney left off the small breasts, reaching up to capture Kathryn's full mouth, kissing her deeply, possessively, feeling her tongue invade her own mouth, tasting her desire. Then the scream filled her as Kathryn went suddenly still, arms gripping Sydney with bruising force, the nails digging sharply into her back. Sydney's fingers were squeezed sweetly, the rhythmic pulsations seeming to draw her even deeper inside and she held Kathryn tightly, her left arm around her shoulders pressing the captain to her, allowing her to feel the entire length of her body on her.

Slowly, easily, Sydney drew back, feeling the shudders of aftershocks ease as she withdrew her fingers and released the mouth, Kathryn gasping for breath. The counselor enfolded her into a warm embrace, resting on her side as she felt Kathryn snuggle close to her.

“You didn't howl,” Sydney noted with some disappointment.

“Are you kidding?” Kathryn said with a shaky laugh. “I practically grew hair. All that was missing was a full moon.”

Sydney laughed as well, hugging her warmly. “Then I fulfilled my promise.”

“Oh, you did, wonderfully,” Kathryn said huskily, her hands running over Sydney with avid desire. “And now it's my turn to make you howl.”

“I don't howl,” Sydney warned in a low voice. “It's just so undignified.”

“Oh, I've heard you howl,” Kathryn corrected, biting gently at her chin as she slid over Sydney, kissing her passionately, pressing her down onto the bed. “For much less than what I'm going to do right now.”

“Really?” Sydney responded, raising an eyebrow. “I think I need to be convinced.”

“Then just lay back, relax ... and let me convince you.”

Sydney's head went back, and closing her eyes, she delighted in the feel of Kathryn's lips and tongue exploring her neck and chest, mouthing over her breasts. It felt so good to feel the long fingers stroking her so gently, so featherlight as Kathryn ran them over the soft swells, teasing her nipples that immediately hardened, throbbing under the delicate touch. Sydney caught her breath, then swallowed, giving an involuntary moan as she felt Kathryn cover one sensitive point with the satiny moisture of her mouth, the tip of her tongue swirling around the pinkish brown areola, flicking the flesh before trailing to the other to repeat the caress with exquisite pleasure.

Sydney reached up and tangled her hands in the auburn hair, raking through the short mane with controlled need. Her fingertips traced over the smooth temples, felt the echoing thread of Kathryn's desire jolt through the faint Vulcanoid meld, rippling through her with astounding force and she arched, lifting to her partner with wanting ache.

“Kathryn.” She breathed the name into the night, a soft cry of pleasure and love.

Sydney felt the bright edge of teeth against her tender nipple as Kathryn smiled, then the smaller woman increased her caresses, her hands stroking her lover's body with avid delight, reaching down to Sydney's thighs, parting them. The counselor gasped as Kathryn quickly trailed down her body, nipping at her navel, feeling the sweet pleasure of lips trace the line of her inner thighs before reaching the center to taste her, carefully at first, the delicate thrill of the tongue dipping into her moisture, then the mouth covering her with commanding intensity.

Sydney cried out, head back, the cords on her neck outlined in the night as she stiffened, her hands falling to her sides where they clenched into fists. Dazedly she felt Kathryn's hand reaching up to grasp her right one, gently uncurling the fist to entwine her fingers in hers, giving her an anchor, something to hold on to as pleasure threatened to cast her adrift completely. She bent her knees, opening herself wider to the mouth consuming her, then she felt the wonderful long fingers enter her, slowly, gently, with loving intention, pushing deep within her. The tongue swirled insistently over her, soft, then with gradually increasing pressure that matched the flexing of the fingers within her, both finding a rhythm to match the driving of her hips.

And she howled. Freely, deliriously, with profound ecstasy as the wave swept her up, spreading through her to seize her, shaking her helplessly, completely before tossing her aside to fall back into herself, drifting back to the mouth so gentle on her now, the fingers sliding out of her even as she despaired of their loss. She shuddered, taking large gulps of air, her heart slowing as Kathryn tasted her lovingly a few more times before leaving the tender center of her to retrace her path up the body, stopping to kiss each nipple with affection before finally, Sydney could embrace her. They kissed deeply, Sydney tasting her own essence on Kathryn, licking her mouth and chin with ardent pleasure, sharing in the intimacy she had been granted, loving her for it.

“You have convinced me,” she murmured against her lips. “I bow to your greater will.”

Kathryn laughed and hugged her, her weight a comforting presence on Sydney who wrapped her arms lovingly around her, holding her close. She felt her shiver, and together they reached down, managing to grab the bedding and haul it up over them, snuggling down into the warmth of each other and the blankets. Sydney felt Kathryn's lips on her mouth, kissing her softly, gently, and she returned the kiss with happiness.

“You're so incredible,” she whispered. “I hadn't realized lovemaking was such a required skill of captains.”

“Oh, it isn't,” Kathryn replied, eyes dancing. “It's purely an inspired accomplishment. You make me rise above my ordinary abilities.”

“Darling,” Sydney told her. “You are many things. Ordinary will never be one of them.”

Kathryn merely chuckled and rested her head on Sydney's shoulder as drowsiness stole over them with irresistible lure. Sydney yawned, felt Kathryn echo it and smiled into the night.

“Do you know, I could not imagine being happier than I am right now,” Sydney said softly. “I don't know that I could survive it if there is something missing here.”

Kathryn nuzzled her gently. She did not answer and for some reason, Sydney felt she was holding back, not wanting to spoil the moment.

“Ah, if this were the Alpha Quadrant,” Sydney added, guessing the missing element for her lover. “But where you are is all I need. It matters little where that is to me.”

“I'm afraid I can't say that,” Kathryn said hesitantly. She raised up so that Sydney could see the eyes, shading grey in the dimness. “I'm sorry if that hurts you.”

“It doesn't,” Sydney assured her, touching her cheek gently. “I know how important it is to get your ship home, Kathryn. But I also know that if we arrived at Earth tomorrow, in another month, you'd be chasing another star. It's who you are. It's who I love. Just realize that I'll be chasing that star with you. Forever.”

“I am happy,” Kathryn told her seriously. “I mean that. You've given me so much these last months. You've made something I didn't realize was crushing me go away completely and allowed me to feel again, to be the woman again. To love you is a gift I will always treasure.”

“My darling,” Sydney whispered, cupping her face in gentle hands. “You're my partner, my lover, my friend, my joy. And you are my captain. I am yours. Now and forever.”

Kathryn bowed her head into the hands, closing her eyes as she hugged the counselor tightly. “I'll never let you down,” she promised, voice cracking.

Sydney drew Kathryn to her shoulder, feeling the tears dampen her chest and she knew the captain was speaking beyond just the two of them now, to the crew Janeway felt she had failed by getting lost in the Delta Quadrant. That was a burden Sydney could not ease and all she could do was hold Kathryn close, comforting her, stroking her hair, until finally she fell asleep in her arms.

And even then, she continued to hold her, looking out into the night, feeling utterly content and wishing she could somehow share that with Kathryn, make her feel it too. Knowing she couldn't.

Knowing that content was something Starfleet captains never were ... and never could be.

Epilogue

Seven of Nine looked up as the door slid open and Sydney strolled in. She was carrying the contraption Seven identified as a 'saddle', knowing that her roommate had been in the holodeck 'riding' a horse.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Seven put down the padd she had been working on, laying it on the low coffee table.

Sydney smiled, eyes bright as she looked at her. “You bet,” she said enthusiastically as she placed the saddle carefully on the rack designed to hold it which took up one corner of the living area. “I do wish Kathryn liked horses though. It's so much more fun to ride with someone else.”

Seven felt a suddenly speculative gaze fall upon her and she raised an eyebrow. “I think not,” she said coolly.

“Oh my, Seven, I'm impressed,” Sydney said, coming over to plop onto the couch beside her. “You're picking up subtleties so well now. But c'mon, I know you'd enjoy it.”

“As you thought I'd enjoy white-water rafting?” Seven asked distastefully. “And wading through swamps.”

“You're just got upset because your implants got wet,” Sydney said, stretching back on the couch, putting her feet up on the coffee table. “And they weren't wet, that was just an illusion created by the holodeck. But you must learn to ride, Seven.”

“I do?” Seven said with skepticism liberally coloring her tone. “Why? It is not a skill necessary in any way for an astrometrics officer.”

“But it will be necessary if we're going after the Lost Treasure of Sanssibar,” Sydney told her brightly. “There's a lot of riding in the beginning.”

Seven sighed. She still wasn't sure how Sydney had managed to get her involved in the roleplaying holo programs set in mystical, magical times that bore no resemblance to reality and made little sense scientifically. Though Seven did have to admit there was a certain satisfaction to participating. The last program, something called the Dungeons of Goethe, had cast her in the role of a thief, and being forced to 'pretend' to be something other than who she was had turned out to be fun as she skulked about the dank rooms searching for treasure and battling 'orcs' and monsters. But riding? Seven didn't know if she was ready for that.

“Can I not walk to where I'm going?”

“No,” Sydney said. “C'mon Seven. We'll start tomorrow. A small trot around the corral just to get you familiar. Before you know it, you'll be having the time of your life.”

“The 'time of my life',” Seven echoed, tasting the phrase. She considered it carefully, then reluctantly gave in. “Very well,” she allowed. “I will attempt to learn.”

“Good,” Sydney said, patting her on the leg companionably. “Just remember to have trust in your teacher, Seven. I won't steer you wrong.”

She smiled widely.

“You just got to have faith.”

The End