A light mist dusted the slate-blue shoulders of Janeway’s uniform tunic as she strode toward Starfleet Headquarters for an afternoon round of briefings, her boots clicking mutely on the pavement. She could have transported directly into the building from the restaurant where she had broke for lunch, of course, but a part of her was reveling in the sensation of weather and the salt-spray scent coming in from the harbor. As she entered the expansive lobby, she wiped the moisture from her face with a small smile, and headed for the turbolifts at one end, set beside the huge motif of the United Federation of Planets logo dominating one wall.

As the lift carried her upward, she wondered briefly how Seven was doing. She had transported directly to Indiana as soon as the ship had settled into orbit, so eager to see Gretchen and Phoebe again that she couldn’t wait for Janeway to join her. Janeway just hoped that seeing them in the flesh would remove the last of Seven’s anxiety about their kidnapping during Millennium’s last mission. Assuming anything could.

The lift came to a halt, and squaring her shoulders, she crossed the small reception area and pressed the admittance chime to the admiral’s office. In the old days, there would be a Starfleet cadet acting as a receptionist for Nechayev, ready to announce her. Now, there were too many holes in the ‘fleet to be filled to waste a body behind a desk.

“Come.”

Nechayev was a diminutive woman, but that didn’t prevent her from dominating any room she was in. She radiated presence like a warp core radiated power and even Janeway, possessor of more than her share of authority, paled in her presence. Nechayev never let up, never relaxed, and never gave in. There was a time that Janeway wanted nothing more than to be exactly like her, but that was before a certain Borg drone entered her life and taught her what was truly important.

“Admiral.”

“Captain.”

Blonde, with narrow, pinched features and keen blue eyes, Nechayev eyed Janeway as she took a seat by the large desk. Janeway resisted the urge to smile, feeling that gaze penetrate to her very bones.

“Another successfully completed mission.”

Janeway inclined her head. “The ship performed well. My crew is top notch.”

“And your first officer?”

Janeway carefully kept her expression impassive. “Kelly was adequate. But it took some doing.”

“That’s why I assigned her to you.” Nechayev smiled faintly. “Honestly, Kathryn, I knew that if you couldn’t bring her around, no one could. After a year with you, Starfleet now knows exactly where she stands and what she’s capable of.”

“That doesn’t make it easy on me or my crew, Admiral.”

Nechayev shrugged. “I know, but let’s face it, Kathryn, you already have an operational first officer in Ro Laren. It’s not as if you can’t handle it. In fact, Millennium may be the only ship in the fleet right now that can teach these officers how to be captains.”

“She’s not ready to be a starship captain.”

“I know, but more importantly, she knows that too. That’s why she’ll be able to handle an administrative position over the next year. That wouldn’t have happened before you spent time with her.”

Janeway didn’t know if she entirely agreed with that assessment but it was useless to argue the point. Nechayev was convinced Janeway’s greatest strength lay in training commanders to become captains and as long as the admiral thought so, she could expect to deal with green first officers. She sighed silently. “So, have you anyone in mind to exec Millennium’s next mission?”

Nechayev tilted her head. “Are you that anxious to get back into space?”

“No, I actually want the full leave for me and my crew, this time. But I would like to know what I can expect for a first officer and where we’ll be going next.”

“When I decide on a suitable candidate, you’ll be the first I inform, Kathryn,” There was the slightest glint in Nechayev’s pale blue eyes that might have been amusement.

Janeway felt her jaw tighten. “You say I can take on your pet projects because I have a functional first officer in Ro Laren. Well, I won't be able to keep Ro much longer unless I give her a real reason to stay on Millennium.”

The glint of amusement disappeared and there seemed to be real concern shading Nechayev’s expression then. “What do you mean?”

“She and her spouse, my chief engineer, are pregnant. Both have every reason to want to remain planet-side and I think only a promotion to the position of Millennium’s exec will tempt Ro to continue. Even then, I’m not sure it would be enough.”

Janeway watched as the admiral absorbed the information, carefully hiding her own amusement. In this continual chess game she and her superior played, it could be considered a telling blow, decidedly a check move if not actual checkmate.

“I see,” Nechayev said finally. “I’ll have to take this under consideration, Kathryn.”

“I’m sure you will,” Janeway said mildly. They exchanged a few more pleasantries without either woman committing to anything and Janeway departed the admiral’s office with a sense of satisfaction that perhaps wasn’t warranted, but felt good nonetheless.

After leaving Starfleet Headquarters, she walked briskly for the San Francisco transport center. She was expected in Indiana for supper and as usual, Janeway was running late. Worming her way through the crowds, she cursed her timing, having arrived during the peak afternoon period when people were making their way home after work. Finally, she made her way to the Starfleet kiosk where she was transported to the Portage Creek station. It was much quieter here and it didn’t take her long to acquire the use of a hovercraft and program in the coordinates for the Brown County Agricultural Park where her mother and sister lived.

Leaning back in her seat, she allowed the autopilot to navigate as she enjoyed the lush fields filled with the burgeoning sprouts of new corn. The rich smell of earth and air was almost intoxicating after the somewhat sterile atmosphere of her starship and she inhaled deeply, filling her lungs. She was smiling as the farmhouse finally came into sight and she spotted her spouse on the veranda, comfortably situated on the porch swing, sipping a glass of frosted lemonade. She settled her vehicle down onto its struts and slipped over the side, greeted by a profusion of waving red tails and lolling tongues. Jake, Rufus, and their mother Molly all had to sniff the Starfleet captain over before granting her leave to head for the porch.

“Kathryn.” Seven tasted of lemons as Janeway kissed her warmly. It was so good she kissed her again.

“Darling. I’m sorry I’m late. Is dinner ready?”

“We deliberately delayed our preparation,” Seven informed her, arms wrapped around Janeway’s waist, holding her lightly. “Both Gretchen and I are cognizant of your schedule while on Earth.”

“Good.” Janeway smiled and kissed her a third time. “It gives me the chance to greet you properly.”

“A proper greeting is always appreciated,” Seven noted and kissed her back. There was no hurry for either of them to end their embrace. Their recent conflict and separation had left scars that were still tender and every opportunity to accentuate the healing was gladly accepted.

“God, after all this time, you’re still like a couple of teenagers.”

The voice was ironic and achingly familiar. Laughing, Janeway turned to her sister who had just slipped through the screen door and hugged her tightly. “Good to see you again, Phoebes.”

“Good to see you, too, Kat. Staying awhile, this time?”

“Well, for dinner at any rate.” Janeway leaned back on the railing and fondly regarded the slender form of her sister. Taller, with long, gloriously thick hair and a languid personality, Phoebe was almost her complete opposite. But for all their youthful squabbles, they had turned out to be close friends as adults. Which made the twinge of guilt Janeway felt all the sharper. “Listen, I want to talk to you about what happened—”

“Hey, it’s over and done with,” Phoebe said abruptly, face tightening. “We were in really good hands with Tuvok’s daughter, never in danger at all.”

The look in her eyes indicated that hadn’t really been the case, but for some reason, Janeway thought Phoebe’s dissembling was more for Seven’s benefit than her own. She made a mental note to take her sister aside later and find out the facts but for now, she was content to let it go. She brightened as the door swung open once more to herald the arrival of her mother.

“Kathryn.”

Enfolded into her arms, Janeway knew she was finally home. “Mom. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, sweetheart. It’s good to have you back.”

Arm in arm, they entered the old farmhouse with Seven and Phoebe in tow. In the kitchen, the table had been set and the savory smells of her mother’s corn, potato and beef casserole reached out to her in encompassing comfort. It was Janeway’s favorite dish and though she was fully appreciative of Seven’s version, it wasn’t quite the same as Gretchen’s, perhaps because of the difference between replicated or alien ingredients on board Millennium, and that of the fresh ingredients off the nearby farms.

Conversation over their meal was light, almost deliberately so, Janeway thought as she ate. Seven seemed rather quiet as well. So, when she found herself being maneuvered into the study by her mother after dinner while Phoebe occupied Seven, she didn’t hesitate, though she wasn’t sure she liked whatever was going on. Anything that threw Seven off stride couldn’t be good.

“Kathryn, I need to speak with you about what happened.”

“Of course, Mother.” Janeway settled into the chair behind the desk as she watched Gretchen narrowly, linking her fingers together as she rested her hands on the smooth surface before her. She wasn’t aware that she'd arrayed herself in a position of authority until Gretchen looked at her and smiled.

“You look just like your father.”

Disconcerted, Janeway dipped her head. “I do?”

“Yes, when he thought he was in trouble and wanted to forestall it by becoming all officious…as if that mattered to me.”

Janeway blinked. “Am I in trouble?”

“I don’t know, are you?” Gretchen suddenly looked very serious, taking a seat in the chair opposite her. Her eyes were narrowed as she regarded Janeway, studying her closely. “Something’s going on with Seven and while she hasn’t said anything, I know it has something to do with what happened with the incident with Tuvok’s daughter. She’s been almost uncomfortable with us since her arrival here this afternoon and neither Phoebe or I can figure out why.”

The incident with Tuvok’s daughter? Is that how Gretchen referred to it? Not that she and Phoebe had been kidnapped by a criminal organization, their very lives in peril while Janeway and Seven were a quadrant away, helpless to do anything? Dismissing it as if it had been of no consequence whatsoever? It was little wonder Seven didn’t know how to react.

“I suspect she doesn’t quite know what to say to you,” Janeway said honestly, knowing anything less would be instantly detected by her mother, though how Gretchen could tell every time, she could never determine. “It was a very tough time for us. I know it can’t compare with what you were going through—”

“Waiting for news, unable to do anything, is always more difficult, dear,” Gretchen interrupted quickly. “It was an unpleasant situation, but for the most part, it felt…unreal, as if it were happening to someone else. I suppose because neither Phoebe nor I are familiar with those situations. We perhaps didn’t have a clear grasp on what exactly could happen to us, unlike you, or Michael.” The reference to her husband made a fond smile cross Gretchen’s face, one that Janeway suspected was purely unconscious. “He was a wreck, especially afterward. He didn’t want to leave my side. I actually had to speak quite sternly to him before he was able to relax and let it go.”

She leaned forward and put her hand on Janeway’s, squeezing her fingers. “Must I speak sternly to you and Seven as well?”

Janeway shook her head. “It’s not just that, Mother. It wasn’t merely a matter of Seven and I being unable to do anything and feeling bad about it. It caused a…well, a rather profound disagreement between us. Seven wanted us to return to the Alpha Quadrant immediately. My orders were very specific about continuing our mission.”

Gretchen stared at her for a long moment. “Ah,” she said finally. “I see.” Janeway wondered if she did. “How bad a ‘disagreement’?”

Janeway looked away. “Bad.”

“Oh, darling.” Gretchen’s voice was infinitely compassionate, “I’m sorry.”

Janeway felt tears suddenly sting her eyes. “What we discovered about ourselves during that time has left both of us feeling uncertain about things, about what we believed about each other, and how we have to handle such disagreements in the future.”

“What do you mean?”

“She asked me to return home, Mother. Demanded that I, as captain, go against my orders and bring her back to the Alpha Quadrant by any means necessary.” Janeway lifted her head, meeting the warm gaze of her mother, aching for her to understand though a small fear remained that she wouldn’t. “I wanted to, Mother. Honestly, I did, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t just the orders, it was a matter of the ship’s safety which I absolutely couldn’t compromise.”

“I understand, Kathryn, you had your orders. I, above all people, know what that means.”

“I thought Seven did as well, but…well, perhaps she didn’t. Perhaps she couldn’t.”

“What happened, Kathryn?”

Janeway felt her heart catch in her throat, making it hard to swallow, to talk…to breathe. “She left me.” Just saying it tore a hole in her soul that she thought had healed. “She said that wasn’t what she intended when she stayed away so many nights, but that was what it felt like. I…it hurt me and I think, in the end, it broke me. I was going to turn the ship around, Mother. But it was always for her, never for you or Phoebe.”

Until that moment, until the words formed and left her mouth, Janeway hadn't realized that was what she had been hanging onto, what she had been struggling with. Something released inside her, loosened in her chest and she took a deep breath, the first, it seemed, in forever. She felt almost dizzy, sick even, and had to rest her head on her hands, covering her eyes with her fingers.

“Oh, dear,” Gretchen said. “Now I understand. Seven put my and Phoebe's needs...really her own needs...above yours. The individual above and beyond the Collective. What a horrifying concept for her. And you...Oh, Kathryn, you were prepared to put her above everything else, to tangibly put her needs above those of Starfleet and your command. Something that goes against everything your father taught you, everything Starfleet has taught you. Not much wonder you're both still feeling the effects. It's a wonder you both survived it.”

The last was said with a touch of irony and Janeway raised her head quickly, feeling the sting. “Mother—”

“I'm sorry, but what a wonderful and terrible thing growth is. And how much it must have hurt you both in the process. I regret that, but not your chance to evolve. One must always keep moving forward, Kathryn.”

“Is that all it's really about? Change? I think it's goes much deeper than that, Mother.” Janeway leaned back in her chair and looked skyward, feeling suddenly empty. “How can I remain a captain when I'm prepared to totally disregard the big picture for the sake of one person, even if that person is someone I love more than my own life? More than the lives of my crew?” She swallowed hard, accepting something that she had not wanted to consciously acknowledge before now. “I'm no longer fit for starship command.”

“Don't be ridiculous, Kathryn.”

“I'm not, Mother. I'm sorry, but you don't...you can't understand. Not unless you've been here.”

“Well, I can see you believe that. Which means Seven must be aware of it on some level. God, not much wonder you're both so tied up in knots, even as you try so hard to hide it from each other.”

Janeway blinked. Was that why Seven had been seeing Kes, the ship's councilor, on a professional basis? Was that why, though they were both determined to be over their conflict and move on, there was something that still lingered between them, something that neither one wanted to address? She felt sick again.

“Kathryn, don't make any final decisions,” Gretchen said urgently, squeezing hard on her fingers. “Particularly one you'll regret. Give yourself some more time. I think you're overreacting, but I also accept that perhaps you're not. In either case, you don't have to do anything about it right away. You and Seven need to be off by yourselves for a while.”

“Seven and I were talking about going to Risa for a vacation,” Janeway said uncertainly.

“Perfect. Do it, Kathryn. Get away from everything, including us and Starfleet. You both desperately need some perspective.”

Janeway wondered if she would ever gain enough perspective on what she had just learned, no matter where she went or how much time she took.

“Lights.”

Obligingly, illumination came up in the living room of their bungalow. Seven was pleased to see that Phoebe had carried out her instructions precisely as to the placement of their furniture. The rest of their belongings were currently stashed in large totes upstairs in the loft, transported there from the ship, which was docked in the Utopia Planetia orbital yards for a full overhaul. The couple would unpack those later as they settled into their home for the duration of their six-month leave. Carefully carrying the leftovers Gretchen had pressed on her, Seven went out to the kitchen where she deposited them into the cooled storage unit.

Back in the living room, she found Janeway crouched by the fireplace, stacking tinder and kindling under some logs, readying it for ignition. Her tunic had been tossed onto the nearby chair and the sleeves of her sweater were rolled up to her elbows. She glanced up, offered Seven a brief smile and returned her attention to her fire, striking a match to light it. Seven watched her in the flickering flames, wondering what exactly had been said between her and her mother. Janeway had been so subdued after she came out of the study, distant in a way that was only too familiar to Seven. She wasn’t sure where to begin to bridge the sudden gulf she sensed, not necessarily between them, but between Janeway and everyone outside her command.

”Darling?”

Seven offered a smile. “It is good to be home.”

“It is.” Janeway eased down onto her buttocks, resting on the thick, southwestern patterned rug that cushioned her from the hardwood floor, stretching her legs out in front of her, linking her ankles. Lifting her arm, she held out her hand in invitation. “Join me.”

Seven closed the distance between them and sank down onto the rug beside her. Slipping her arm around Janeway’s shoulder, she exhaled softly as Kathryn settled against her. Nuzzling in the thick, auburn hair, she listened to the sound of Janeway’s heartbeat, steady and slow. As they cuddled together, Seven concentrated on the soothing flickering of the fire, the day's stresses easing from her body as the moments passed. Finally, Seven ran her fingers through Janeway's hair.

“I do not understand Gretchen and Phoebe's reaction to the events that occurred while we were gone,” she said quietly, needing Janeway to clarify it for her. “They were extremely dismissive when I attempted to discuss their ordeal, and both refused to elaborate on what had happened when I asked about it.”

Janeway snuggled closer. “I know, sweetheart, they did seem a bit cavalier but I think part of it was an attempt not to worry us. And maybe part of it is because they're not ready to talk about it yet. When I was speaking to Mother in the study, she mentioned that the situation, as it was happening, just didn't seem real to her. Perhaps neither of them have come to terms with it yet. On the other hand, maybe they have come to terms with it and simply see no point in rehashing it for our benefit. I just don't know.”

Seven did not find that satisfactory, but sensed that Janeway was as perplexed as she was. Stifling a sigh, she decided that she would have to be patient. Perhaps Gretchen and Phoebe would be more forthcoming with her in the future.

“I suppose the bed isn’t made up.”

Seven lifted her head to look up at the loft, which also led to the master bedroom and ensuite. “I do not believe so. It will not take long to make it up.” She lowered her head and kissed Janeway on the temple. “Are you tired, Kathryn?”

“It’s been a long day,” Janeway admitted. “But I think I want to sit here by the fire for a while.”

“Then that is what we shall do.”

They shifted a bit so that Seven could lean against the base of the sofa and Janeway could lean against her. Wrapping both arms around her, Seven held her, wanting her to feel surrounded by her love. Perhaps it would be able to close the separation she felt when she could not think of the proper words to do so. And as they sat there, she felt Janeway start to relax. It was subtle, but detectable, a definite surrender in her body language, a vulnerability that appeared in her expression and in her eyes.

“What would you think about staying here?”

“Rather than go on vacation on Risa?”

“No, I mean…” Janeway trailed off. Seven waited with infinite patience, not saying anything and finally Janeway spoke again. “I think it’s time I stepped away from starship command.”

“Unacceptable.”

Startled, Janeway turned her head to look at Seven. “Just like that? ‘Unacceptable’?”

“Yes.” Seven failed to see the need for clarifying what was a perfectly clear and logical response.

“I need more than that, Annika.”

Apparently, clarification was required. Seven again resisted the urge to sigh. “You are eminently suited for starship command, Starfleet requires your services in that capacity for the foreseeable future, and any other role would be less desirable for you at this juncture of your existence.” She tilted her head. “Why would you deem such an alteration in your life necessary now?”

“Oh, darling, there are so many reasons.”

Seven wondered if she would list the one that was truly the cause of this unease or if she would divert into causes that were irrelevant to the problem at hand.

“For one thing, it’s becoming more difficult physically to go out on this ship. I’m not getting any younger and the jump syndrome is starting to take its toll.”

“Both myself and the TPG are considering this problem and I have every confidence there will be a solution found.” Seven said calmly. “In any event, I find it difficult to believe that you would allow mere physical discomfort to keep you from duty.”

A muscle jumped in Janeway's jaw. Clearly, both pride and ego had been pricked by Seven's cool assessment. “Fine, but there remains the fact that we were looking toward having a family and I'm still not getting any younger.”

“I have no desire to add children to our family unit now,” Seven said honestly. “As for age, theoretically, Gretchen is still capable of bearing offspring thanks to 23rd Century medical techniques, therefore, you have many years yet.” The idea of Gretchen producing a young sister or brother for her made Janeway blanch, much to Seven's amusement. “You are not at all old, Kathryn, you are not even middle-aged for a Human. There is no validity in such a claim.” Seven paused, considering it. “Kes is old.”

Startled, diverted from the topic at hand, Janeway looked wildly at her. “What?”

Seven lifted a brow. “Surely you have noticed the signs of aging she has displayed recently.”

“I thought that was deliberate on her part, an effort to make her more approachable as a counselor.”

“Initially, those changes were cosmetic, easily detected by my ocular implant as superficial. They are no longer superficial. At this point, her cellular structure is decaying along predicated genetic lines.” Seven gentled her tone. “Ocampa live nine years at most, Kathryn. Kes is actually twelve.”

“But the Ocampa who were with the second Caretaker were living up to twenty! Her transformation should have extended her life!”

“It did, but only until now. “

“Dear God.”

Seven bent her head. “I am sorry, Kathryn, I know this must be difficult for you. She is your friend.”

“She is.”

Determined to bring the discussion back on course, Seven hugged her. “Why do you wish to leave starship command? It is your first, best destiny.”

“You are my first, best destiny, my darling.” Janeway nudged her head under Seven's chin, rather like one of the barn cats that populated Gretchen's farm.

Which was close to what was really concerning her, of course, but until Janeway acknowledged the true problem to Seven, she would not accept any counter argument. And it was entirely possible that Seven was not the one who could offer the proper counter for Janeway to believe it, being far too close to the issue. But who could?

There were many things that Seven could not change in her life, her assimilation by the Borg, the loss of her parents, the inability to bear children. But if there was only one thing she could take back, one thing that she could alter in her history, it would be that she had never left Kathryn alone for three nights, had never made that demand on her, had never forced her to choose between her command and the woman she loved. It was an inexcusable lapse and Seven had no idea how to repair the damage.

“Are you still interested in going to Risa?” Janeway nudged her gently. “I was thinking we could use a cruise liner for our traveling and spend a week or so on the planet before coming home.”

“A cruise liner?”

“Yeah, it’s a trip totally designed to pamper the traveler. It’ll be completely different from starship duty.”

Seven, who had no real opinion on it, responded to the enthusiasm in Janeway’s voice. “I believe I would enjoy that.”

“Wonderful. I’ll make the arrangements.”

From the change in topics, Seven knew she had ferreted out everything she could this evening. Any further pursuit of it would only serve to irritate Kathryn and make her even less willing to discuss the problem in the future. She would have to bide her time and bring it up at a more opportune moment, such as on their vacation. Lying on the beach, a tropical drink in her hand, well fed and well loved, would leave Janeway particularly vulnerable to any type of philosophical discussion.

She kissed her ear and then her cheek, easing her hand beneath the hem of her sweater to touch the smooth, warm skin of Janeway’s belly. Janeway made a small sound of pleasure, snuggling closer. “Shall I take you to bed, Kathryn?”

Janeway laughed quietly. “I thought you were starting right here.”

Seven stroked higher, a lazy circle over her abdomen. “Are you not too old for making love on the floor?” she asked pointedly. “I would not wish to cause physical discomfort, thereby preventing you from making any future attempts.”

Janeway sat up, turning to look at her, ire sparking in her gaze. “Oh, you’ll pay for that remark, Sprite.”

Seven lifted a brow, intrigued. “I will?”

She smiled as Janeway bore her down to the floor, mercilessly stripping away her uniform. As she did, Seven happily removed Kathryn’s, tunics and sweaters, trousers and undergarments being scattered about the living area with abandon. Lying on her back, Seven looked up at Janeway straddling her, cupping her breasts as her thumbs fondled her sensitive nipples. Janeway leaned into the caress, her eyes a luminous bluish tint as she stared back.

“Do you know how much I love you?” she whispered.

“I know,” Seven told her quietly. She sat up, slipping her arms around Janeway to hold her close, kissing her passionately. Her smooth skin glowed golden in the firelight and as she felt Kathryn’s legs wrap around her hips, desire flared so strongly in her, it was hard to breathe properly. Fingers tangled in her long, blonde hair, Janeway held her mouth tightly against her own, tongues touching, sweet and slow. Both were panting as Seven trailed down her throat.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Janeway whispered over and over, a prayer, a chant, a benediction. “My darling Annika.”

“My Kathryn.”

Their lovemaking became quieter, gentler, yet more passionate at the same time, Seven reached down to touch Janeway, her wetness like silk on her fingers. She gasped as she felt Janeway’s hand on her, fingers moving gently but purposefully against her. Whispers of love and passion enhanced their desire and when they both arrived at that glorious peak, almost simultaneously, it was as much spiritual as it was physical. They rocked together in perfect harmony, heartbeats in sync, holding onto each other as if clinging to boulders in a storm.

Eyes closed, Seven hugged Janeway, being hugged in return, feeling safe and happy in the loving afterglow. She listened to her breath, warm and soft on her neck, not wanting to move for the next eon or so, Finally, Janeway drew back a little, enough so that she could look into Seven’s eyes. Smiling faintly, she cupped Seven’s cheek in her palm, but still didn’t say anything, merely looking at her as if she simply couldn’t get enough of the sight of her.

Seven finally leaned forward and kissed her very gently and lovingly, slow and tender, trying to convey all her emotion in that single touch, however inadequate it was for the task, lingering over her lips for some time before drawing back. Janeway made a quiet sound of pleasure in her throat and dropped her head onto Seven’s shoulder, cuddling against her. Seven exhaled quietly and basked in the moment. There were many things the couple had to deal with, but for now, it was enough to hold Janeway and love her. Everything else would come in due time.

She woke slowly, conscious of the warmth wrapped around her back, of the soft breath stirring the hair at the back of her neck. The air, cool and thick with moisture, wafted through the nearby window, cracked open to admit the foggy dawn. She could hear the first twitters of birdsong, the soft rustle of breeze in the leaves, the far-off rush of harbor waters. The unfamiliar sounds were undoubtedly what had awakened her, so used was she to the constant hum of warp drive and ship function. The difference was jarring. Snuggling back into Seven’s body, she was grateful for her presence and the knowledge of her love.

She could get used to this, she thought. Could get used to staying on Earth full time. She had been musing on it ever since the conversation with her mother, though she hadn't wanted to let on, especially to Seven. She knew Seven would only feel responsible in some way, and she didn't want that. This was to be her decision and hers alone. And one, she supposed, she had been fooling herself about for some time. There was no balance between being a wife and being a captain. Instead, it had been a juggling act, one that the slightest nudge would disturb. She was just fortunate that the nudge that had made her drop the balls had been without casualties, that no one had to die for her to realize she could not weigh the life of Seven against that of her crew.

She didn't know why she had been so surprised. Hadn't she seen the lesson over and over that one couldn't have it all? That everything came with a price and usually, the greater the reward, the higher the cost? Her father had shown all too well that to be the best in one’s field, something had to give in the other. To be a great Starfleet leader, one had to sacrifice one's personal life. She had thought she'd escaped it, that she had learned from his life and could make hers better. That she was smarter than he was. In truth, all she'd proven to herself was that she had been more oblivious.

The hubris. The sheer, unmitigated gall, to presume she had somehow managed what so many others had tried and failed.

Well, she knew better now, and she was content with her decision. Being with Seven had given her so much, and she could still make a difference in Starfleet administration. If it didn't offer the same excitement and personal satisfaction that starship command did, what did it matter? Certainly, being in Seven's arms offered all the excitement and satisfaction any one person could want, or for that matter, even deserve.

Seven made a small sound and stirred, tightening her arms around Janeway. Her hand slipped up to cover her breast but when she didn’t make any further moves, Janeway knew it had been unconscious, a matter of seeking out comfort in sleep rather than an initiation of lovemaking. A little disappointed, she was nonetheless grateful for these moments of quiet reflection before the day drew them from this cozy nest of comfort and peace. Not that it had to, she mused. After all, they were on leave and if they wanted to spend the day in bed, they could.

How long had it been since they had indulged themselves so? Too long, she decided. Time to change that.

Closing her eyes, Janeway allowed herself to drift off, drowsiness stealing over her with irresistible force. When she woke again, it was to Seven’s lips trailing lightly over her neck as her palm chafed her left nipple into exquisite alertness, and long fingers raked through the thin hair of her triangle. Janeway groaned lazily, delighted by the loving hands of her spouse.

“Be still, Kathryn,” Seven whispered. “Let me love you.”

That was a request Janeway rarely, if ever, resisted. Quieting under Seven’s touch, Janeway sank readily into the exquisite joy of hands and mouth moving over her body, the breathy words of love and tenderness in her ears. The touch of Seven’s fingers moving lazily over her clit, massaging in carefully controlled circles, sent ever intensifying chills of pleasure through her. The heavy musk of her desire tickled her nostrils and the provocative sound of Seven’s fingers fondling her wetness left her weak. There was absolutely no better way in the universe to wake up, in her opinion, and she was practically insensate by the time Seven had finished lifting her to her peak.

“God, darling, what you do to me,” she murmured, still trembling in the aftershocks.

“It is only what you inspire, Kathryn,” Seven told her as she hugged her tight. “I have missed these opportunities to indulge our sensuality to its fullest.”

Though they had shared any off days while on Millennium, their time together had always been tempered with the knowledge that they could be interrupted at any time, called back to duty by only a hail on their communicators. It was sheer heaven to be in their home in San Francisco, away from the demands and rigors of starship duty. It freed them in a way that they simply weren’t on board ship.

“So, have I.” Feeling her strength return somewhat, she rolled over and drew her hands lovingly down Seven’s back, scratching lightly. “Now let me indulge you.”

An hour or so later, they broke for breakfast, though by that time, it could be considered brunch, served to Janeway in bed by Seven who had not bothered to dress. Janeway found the whole experience completely delightful, if a bit wearing. It had been a while since they had thoroughly ravished each other in this manner, and she suspected she was regrettably out of practice as far as physical endurance was concerned. By mid-afternoon, she finally had to cry uncle, lying boneless on the bed, legs and arms askew, every orifice throbbing with exhausted pleasure. Which, of course, required quite a lengthy explanation of what ‘crying uncle’ meant and where the expression had come from, not to mention the amusement it generated in Seven as she realized that the great Janeway had finally admitted to being unable to keep up to her young spouse.

Though Janeway did win the pillow fight such an observation sparked, mostly because she didn’t fight fair and had no compunction about tickling the larger, stronger, more physically capable Seven into submission.

“Enough!” Seven demanded finally, between giggles that she could not stifle.

Janeway hesitated, and then acquiesced, knowing she won only because Seven used a fraction of her strength when fighting back. She rolled over onto her back, still laughing and threw her arms over her head, looking up at the ceiling. “That was fun.”

“I enjoy having fun with you.” Seven rose to her side, leaning on her elbow to look down at Janeway. “We have not had a great deal of fun lately.”

“No, we haven’t. Too busy healing, I suspect,” Janeway said with a brutal honesty more characteristic of her spouse than her.

“Yes,” Seven agreed, a hint of surprise coloring her tone. “Have we finished healing, Kathryn?”

“Perhaps. I’m not sure. What do you think?”

Seven was silent a moment. “I believe there is still a certain amount left to accomplish.”

Janeway reached up and brushed her cheek with her fingertip. “I think you’re right.”

Seven’s leaned down, her lips brushing over Janeway’s, soft and loving. “I have every confidence in our ability to complete the process, Kathryn.”

“I do, too.”

They lay there for a few moments in quiet contemplation of each other before Janeway nudged her gently. “Come on. Let’s shower and get dressed. I’ll take you out for dinner.”

“The Green Dragon?” Seven’s tone was a trifle eager. It was their favorite restaurant, and there were many dishes served up by the chef that defied Seven’s attempts to analyze the ingredients and reproduce the recipes.

“Wherever you want, my love.”

They showered together and it took much longer than it had to as they seized the opportunity to make love once more beneath the stinging spray. Leaning against the tiles walls, looking down at the blonde head and the warm water cascading over the long length of her sinuous back as Seven’s mouth did the most marvelous things to her, Janeway decided that it wouldn’t be at all hard to get used to having this as a regular thing.

They held hands as they walked along the promenade along the waterfront, leading to the restaurant. The sun sparkled off the deep blue waters of the harbor and the span of the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance. The structure had survived several earthquakes since its construction, including a major one in the 21st century that nearly destroyed it entirely. But it had been rebuilt and now seismic devices buried deep along the various fault lines sent out regular and periodic pulses to relieve any building pressure. The ancient structure, maintained by the city as a landmark, need suffer only the wear and tear of the foot and bicycle traffic that tackled its immense span. Janeway had walked and biked across it many times during her time as a cadet at the Academy, but she and Seven had yet to make the attempt. She decided that they would have to before long. The view from the center was spectacular.

Seven squeezed her hand. “What are you thinking?”

“How often we miss opportunities right under our noses. I think maybe we’re so busy pursuing the big picture, we sometimes miss the little things.” Janeway glanced over and smiled. “The little things are important, too.”

“Indeed.”

The restaurant was busy but they were able to get a table on balcony overlooking the harbor. After ordering, Janeway rested her chin on her palm and looked across the table at Seven who was staring thoughtfully at a sailboat moving gracefully through the water. Her long hair was left loose, and it stirred in the slight breeze, strands occasionally drifting across her ocular implant that she brushed away absently. Janeway’s heart felt so full, she thought it would burst.

Seven turned her head and met her gaze, eyebrow lifting. “You are staring, Kathryn.”

“Yes, I am. Your beauty rivals anything that might be out there.”

“You are in an exceedingly odd mood this day.”

“I suppose I am.”

“Is there anything you need to say to me?”

“Just that I love you. And want you.” Janeway lifted her chin and reached across the table, taking Seven’s fingers in her hand, squeezing gently. “And I’m going to have you once we return home.”

“Ah.” Seven murmured. “Am I to assume that you will not be prevailing upon your mythological uncle this evening?”

“I actually do have an uncle, you know.”

Seven blinked, clearly surprised. “No, I did not know. Why have you never told me about your relative?”

Janeway shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed now that she thought about it. “I suppose it never came up before now. Gerald is my mother’s younger brother. He lives on Falcor Prime, a very Traditionalist colony. It’s extremely old school. Not even land speeders, just horses on which to get around. I guess I don’t talk about him much because I haven’t seen him for years and years. The last time was at Grandfather Taylor’s funeral and he went back almost immediately. I was only fifteen and haven’t seen him since. The Falcorians don’t like space travel as a rule and the colony only has one deep space communicator for emergencies so it’s not as if there’s any way to stay in contact. I hardly think about him.”

“Sometimes, I am unsure how your family line formed. It seems that there is always a marriage between high tech and traditional values that cannot help but clash, from Shannon O’Donnel and Henry Janeway to your father and Gretchen.”

“But they always seem to work out,” Janeway reminded her, smiling. “Look at you and me. You’re a Traditionalist at heart while I, born to the settlement, would rather live in the 24rd Century. Sometimes, those are the best matches of all, particularly once the art of compromise is learned.”

Seven dipped her head. “Always a valuable skill in any endeavor.”

Janeway smiled and leaned back in her chair as the waiter delivered their meals, already looking forward to their return home.