Final Frontiers
G. L. Dartt
Epsilon Six was an obscure starbase orbiting an obscure world, or at least, Starfleet tried very hard to keep it that way. Captain Janeway, currently on leave from her command of USS Millennium, stood on the bridge of USS Voyager, hands linked behind her back and a sour expression on her face as she stared at the base on the fore viewscreen. Beside her, Seven examined the gleaming silver structure dispassionately, and wondered what her spouse was thinking.
Technically, Seven shouldn’t have been there to wonder. She was vaguely surprised that she had not been left behind, forced to wait for her spouse back on the cruise ship, or even back on Earth. Epsilon Six maintained the highest security in the Federation, both for what it studied, and what it protected.
The Guardian of Forever.
Discovered by James T. Kirk a century earlier, the large device was a gate to all things that were and all things that would be. In short, a time travel device that could allow someone to alter the present by going back into the past. Starfleet had wanted to destroy it immediately, of course, but it defied their best efforts. So, they did the next best thing, which was to build a heavily armed starbase boasting the latest in temporal shielding to orbit the planet it was on, restrict the area of space around it, and study it closely in hopes of understanding its secrets. Occasionally, the Guardian would spit out a bit of information in a ponderous voice, whereupon the scientists would dutifully record it and send it to the Temporal Archives at Starfleet Command. One such file was recently released, instructing Janeway to present herself to the Guardian on this stardate.
Janeway, who absolutely abhorred temporal situations of all kinds, was less than pleased to receive the orders and had displayed that disgust in a shortened temper and irritable manner ever since Voyager had picked up the couple. At this point, Seven just wanted the whole thing to be over so they could resume their interrupted vacation.
Sitting in the captain’s chair, Zar Tulek glanced back over his shoulder at the two women, his craggy features inquisitive. “Shall I contact Commander Sporn?”
Janeway’s lips tightened and Seven hunched her shoulders in anticipation of an acerbic comment. That was another thorn in the starship captain’s side. The young man who had been on the cruise with them was apparently with the Starfleet Temporal Unit, going along to make sure nothing happened to Janeway that would prevent this crucial appointment. Seven wasn’t sure why Starfleet Command hadn’t simply contacted Janeway on Earth and escorted her to the Epsilon Six starbase. On the other hand, its greatest protection lay in being unseen, rather like Section 31, not drawing attention to itself or where its interest lay, which putting a lot of security on one of their premier captains would do. In retrospect, perhaps it was surprising they put as many agents around her as they did.
“Might as well,” Janeway said ungraciously. She shot a look at Seven, saw the expression on her face, and softened, smiling wryly. “By all means, let’s get this show on the road. The sooner I do what I have to do, the sooner we’ll be on our way to Risa and the beach.”
“Indeed,” Seven said, a touch dryly.
At the tone, Janeway looked even more sheepish and even mustered up a bit of a polite nod to Sporn after he arrived on the bridge. Of course, being Vulcan, he was completely oblivious to her frosty manner or her attempt to be conciliatory toward him. Or if he did take note, he would find it illogical and not worthy of comment. Seven found that slightly amusing.
“Captain, we’re being hailed,” Tarn offered from her operations console. She paused, listening intently. “We’re being instructed to beam Captain Janeway and Commander Sporn over to the Epsilon Six base.”
“And Lt. Hansen,” Seven interjected calmly.
Tarn hesitated, glanced at Zar who nodded briefly, and conveyed the alteration in plans. Another pause, and she looked up uncomfortably. “They repeat their instructions.”
Janeway smiled. “Inform them that unless my spouse is along, I'm not beaming anywhere. I fully accept the consequences of that decision.”
Taking away the only threat they had to force Janeway into complying with their wishes…court-martial proceedings…made for a longer pause. Finally, Tarn lifted her head. “They say you’re clear to beam over the three individuals in question.”
“Captain, you tend to the insubordinate,” Sporn said, without any emotional overtone, merely stating a fact.
Janeway glanced at him with a raised eyebrow, a small smile quirking the corner of her mouth. “There are certain times, Commander, where an officer just has to refuse to be pushed around. Otherwise, they’re not much of an officer.”
“As you say, Captain.”
Zar stood up. “Good luck, Kathryn.”
“Let’s hope I won’t need it.”
Seven accompanied Janeway and Sporn to the transporter room where a young blonde woman manned the console. Without speaking, they beamed over to the station. One was not supposed to notice time passing in a transport, but Seven was able to detect a perceptible delay between the time they left Voyager and the time they reappeared in the sterile confines of the station transporter room. Undoubtedly a security measure of some sort, and further security was present in the form of two burly security officers armed with phaser rifles that were immediately aimed at the trio.
Janeway shot an annoyed look at Sporn. “You're making it extremely difficult for me to be compliant in this foolishness. I’m here, but I chose to cooperate. That can change.”
Sporn lifted a brow, but he motioned to the officers who lowered their weapons and took a step back against the bulkheads, straightening to attention. “My apologies, Captain, but the security measures this facility requires cannot be overstated. The Guardian is possibly the most dangerous device in existence.”
“Precisely why I don’t want to be here,” Janeway reminded him.
Seven scanned their surroundings with all her senses as they left the transporter room. She had not been allowed any tricorders and even their communicators had been keyed to incoming calls only. The corridor they were in seemed innocuous, bare of ornamentation or décor, steel gray walls and slate blue carpet, but her cortical implant easily detected the wealth of sensors and weaponry that lay within the walls, ready to rain annihilation down on any unfortunate deemed expendable. Outside the base, surrounding the planet, she knew thousands of heavily armed, completely automated satellites patrolled space in all directions, preventing approach by even a cloaked ship.
She moved closer to Janeway, though should anything occur, it was unlikely she would have time to even blink, let alone make an attempt to save her. Janeway detected her nervousness and took a second to reach out with her hand, putting it on her shoulder briefly in encouragement before increasing her step to keep pace with Sporn.
They entered a large, expansive room, this one filled with monitors and white-coated officers manning various consoles. Seven noted the data scrolling over the screens, absorbing the information so quickly that it appeared to be no more than a casual glance on her part. Apparently, they were studying all the various temporal anomalies that had occurred within the Alpha Quadrant, and keeping an eye on any new ones that may occur. One monitor was displaying the ancient Forever World they orbited, the focus of all the galaxy’s timelines, while another screen was tuned to the surface where in the middle of a gigantic, ruined city dated over a million years old, the Guardian waited.
It looked vaguely like a misshapen bagel or donut, sitting in the middle of a sand-swept plaza. In the 21st Century, a great deal of social upheaval had fragmented Earth’s knowledge of their history prior to establishing the Federation. The Guardian had put Humans back in touch with all the events that had happened prior to the Eugenic Wars, triggered by the actions of the genetically engineered Khan Noonien Singh, not to mention the chaotic period surrounding Sefram Cochrane's first warpdrive flight. Historians allowed access to the Guardian were able to fill the Federation databanks with information, and it was considered an invaluable research tool among those who studied such things.
Seven stared at the image a few seconds longer and then turned her attention to Sporn and Janeway who were speaking to another individual, a snowy-haired woman with deep wrinkles around her pale blue eyes. She was small and somewhat stout, while her expression was kindly. Still, Seven found it difficult to trust anything about this place.
“Dr. Grey is in charge of this facility,” Sporn told Janeway. “Her mother was one of the first Federation scientists to study the Guardian extensively, visiting the Forever World several years ago with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock.”
“As you can imagine, we’re quite excited about this unprecedented event,” she said, beaming at Janeway. “It’s very rare that the Guardian would mention any specific incident, let alone pick out an individual within it. Individuals are usually insignificant.”
Rather what the Borg believed, Seven noted dispassionately.
“You’ll forgive me if I’m less thrilled than you,” Janeway said coolly. “I hate temporal mechanics. The past is the future, the future is the past, it gives me a headache.” She frowned, eyeing her beadily. “In any event, what are the details of this situation? Why me and why now?”
“That’s the wonderful thing. We don’t exactly know. We only know that twenty years ago, the Guardian spoke without being asked a question or being prompted in any way. It told us that a temporal incursion had occurred. When we asked further questions, we were able to determine that you were the cause. You had performed an action that forever altered the timeline. We need you to do that now to maintain the integrity of the temporal stream.”
“The Guardian told you I did this?” Janeway was clearly skeptical. “Why? What possible reason would I have?”
“We don't know, only that it happened and that now is the time it must be done.”
Seven saw the muscle jump in Janeway’s jaw and knew she was holding back a curse with the greatest of effort. It did sound somewhat haphazard. It happened therefore it must be made to happen.
“Why bring me here at all?” Janeway demanded, almost as if she were reading Seven’s mind. “If it’s already happened, shouldn’t it just happen on its own?”
“If the Guardian took note of it twenty years ago, we believe that it has to be involved in some way. We don’t know how or why, only that we can’t prevent it. The best we can do is to be on hand to control the conditions and study it when it does.”
Janeway seemed about to say something else, hesitated, and then shook her head fretfully, as if trying to shake off an ache. “Fine, what do I have to do?”
“Commander Sporn will escort you down to the planet and fill you in on the particulars there.”
“I will be accompanying them,” Seven said.
Grey looked at her, an expression of surprise on her face, and Seven didn’t think the scientist had noticed her until then. Her eyes took in the implants on her face, the clear indication of Borg technology, and began to frown. “I don’t think—” she began.
“If Seven doesn’t come with me, I’m not going,” Janeway said in a bored tone, calculated to indicate how unimportant she found all this and how willing she was to be contrary if the mood struck her.
Grey hesitated, glanced at Sporn who inclined his head slightly, and then nodded. Seven felt a fissure of alarm. Janeway was undoubtedly enjoying this opportunity to throw her weight around the Temporal Unit of Starfleet Command, but Seven realized how crucial they believed this to be. They were willing to go along with a multitude of security breaches because they dearly needed Janeway’s cooperation…far more than they would be satisfied with reprimanding her if she didn’t carry out her mission.
“But she cannot interact with the Guardian,” Grey insisted.
Seven lifted her cortical implant. “I have no desire to interact with this device. It is, as Sporn has mentioned, the most dangerous device in the universe. I am most displeased that my captain is forced to interact with it.”
Janeway smiled and put her hand on Seven’s forearm. “Come on, darling. Let’s get this done. The beach awaits.”
Seven followed her, not knowing what lay ahead but suspecting she wouldn’t like it at all.
The surface of the planet was cool, almost cold, a gritty wind whipping their hair and clothing in a cloud of stinging particles. The Guardian lay ahead, looking a little smaller than Janeway had anticipated. Blinking away the sand, she studied the ancient, misshapen object, thinking it looked a lot like something out of Seven’s collection of artworks, ugly and not at all the sort of thing anyone wanted to be around for any length of time. The three of them moved closer and suddenly they were out of the wind. The pavement was bare here, as well, as if something kept it clear of debris.
“Interesting,” Seven said, peering down at the abrupt break in the pavement, the invisible line between being exposed to the elements outside and protected within this small plaza leading up to the Guardian.
Sporn put down the bag he was carrying, unsealed the fastening and drew out a white outfit. Janeway frowned as he handed it to her.
“What’s this?”
“Camouflage. We don’t believe anyone will be in the area, but it’s best that we take the proper precautions.”
Janeway looked it over, taking note of the color. Wherever she was going, it was either very sterile or very cold. She had a sinking feeling it was going to be the latter. She thought about protesting, but decided there wouldn’t be any point. This was coming down from the very top of Starfleet Command and despite her token show of resistance until now, she sincerely doubted she really had much choice in the matter. With another sigh, she started to pull it on. Once she had it sealed up the front and the hood pulled up over her hair, she turned to Sporn. “What do I have to do?”
Sporn handed her a device. “Go through the gate. Walk approximately fifty meters to a multiple rock formation. Bury the device in the snow. Return.”
“That's it?” Janeway regarded the device uneasily. It was a silver cylinder, featureless but for a small control panel with two LED lights, one of which was glowing green. “What is it, a bomb?”
Lifting a brow, there might have been a glint of amusement in his dark eyes. “No, it is not an explosive device. It is not necessary that you know what it is. Only that you perform this mission.”
She studied him for a long moment, drawing on her great familiarity with Vulcan facial features due to her long-term relationship with Tuvok. “You don't know what it is either, do you?” she accused finally, with a hint of triumph. “You haven't a clue why I have to do this or what will happen when I do.”
Sporn did not flicker, but he did not deny it either. “We all have our orders, Captain. Some are more obscure than most. Nonetheless, we are expected to carry them out.”
That wiped the smile from her face. “Yes, we are.” Janeway tucked the device in a handy pocket in her thermal suit. Despite her poking and prodding at the temporal officers just to see which way they’d jump, she knew that eventually, she’d have to do what they wanted because of her oath to Starfleet Command. But how she did it could mean a world of difference in how she felt about it afterward, and to that end, she was grateful she had managed to bring Seven along with her. Turning to her, she wrapped her arms around her waist and hugged her tightly.
“I won’t be long,” she said softly.
“Be safe, Kathryn,” Seven murmured in her ear, and then kissed her gently. Janeway kissed her back, wanting to stay in her embrace forever. Finally, she released her hold, reluctantly drawing away and feeling as if she was being torn from someplace safe and secure to be cast out to an unfeeling universe.
Stiffening her spine, Janeway strode purposefully toward the Guardian. When she was within ten feet, it began to hum, lights appearing inside the thick skin, as if it glowed from within. In the center, which had been empty before, allowing her to look through it to the ruined city beyond, a swirling fog of sparkling gray and indistinct images appeared. Startled, she stopped and peered anxiously at it.
“Uh, hello?”
Not a machine or a being, Janeway remembered from her research on the way to the starbase, but somehow both, beyond the understanding of those scientists that struggled to uncover its secrets. Still, it apparently responded to queries.
“A question. Since before your sun burned hot in space, and before your race was born, I have awaited ... a question. Greetings.”
“That wasn’t the question,” Janeway said dryly, trying to cover her sudden sense of uncertainty and wonder. Its deep voice had reverberated through her on a primal level, seeming to shake every molecule. “Do you know who I am, why I am here and where I have to go?”
“I know. I know all. I am my own beginning, my own ending. You have been here before. You will be here again.”
“Not if I can help it,” she muttered under her breath.
The swirling images solidified, revealing a white plain where the horizon blended almost indistinguishably into a pale gray sky. Janeway’s blood suddenly ran cold, though she didn’t know why, only that a primeval fear was abruptly rising like a wave within her, so strong it was almost choking.
“Captain, you must enter.”
“Kathryn, are you all right?”
Distantly, she heard the voices behind her and wondered how long she had been standing there swaying, overwhelmed by an irrational and soul shivering terror. With a great effort of will, she shook herself, reining in her wayward emotions.
“Kathryn, do you require assistance?” Seven asked, her voice becoming more urgent. She was only a few seconds away from imposing her presence on the situation, Janeway knew.
Without looking back, Janeway lifted her hand, waving at Seven and indicating she was all right. She wasn’t, but there was still a job to do and it wasn’t getting done with her standing there dithering over it.
She took a step forward and while it was one of the hardest steps she had ever had to take, though she had no idea why, she managed it. Then another step, and another, until she was finally stepping through the portal into what lay beyond. A blast of bitter cold struck her as she was abruptly standing on that snowy vista, stinging the flesh on her face and hands. Ice stretched off in all directions except several kilometers to the north, where a line of snowy, dark cliffs provided a contrast to the unending white. Grotesque shapes, ice sculptures crafted by the wind, testified to the irregularity of the ground. Glancing behind her, she saw a shimmering ripple of nothingness that indicated where the portal remained, held open by the Guardian and providing a gateway to the future. Indistinctly, she could still see the two figures of Sporn and Seven in the dusty plaza, waiting for her. Instead of plunging back through the gate, which is what she truly wanted to do, she turned, took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and moved forward.
The snow squeaked beneath her feet as she walked toward a prominent, cluster of rocks that formed an outcropping approximately fifty meters ahead, knowing this had to be the landmark Sporn had indicated. With every step, the unreasoning fear grew stronger until she could taste bile at the back of her throat. She stopped, frantically searching for a familiar view, something that would tell her why she felt as if she had been here before, but nothing showed itself. It was empty and for all she knew, could be somewhere on Earth, or somewhere lightyears away in another quadrant. Could she have really changed history here? Was that why it felt so familiar? Why didn’t she remember that? Had it even happened yet?
God, she hated temporal mechanics.
She felt dizzy and for a moment, she had to bend over. She had eaten lightly that morning, but what little she had was fighting its way to the surface. It hovered on the edge, then finally, the nausea retreated and she swallowed hard. Breathing deeply, each breath a razor edge of cold and damp, she resumed her journey toward the outcropping.
She had only gone about twenty feet when she made a misstep, turning her foot and dropping face down into the snow. Cursing, suddenly and tremendously angry with herself that she couldn’t manage to carry out the simplest of missions without turning it into a huge drama, she rolled over, wincing from the twinge in her ankle. It was the cruise ship all over again, she thought darkly. All she had to do was wait in the lounge with the rest of the passengers and await rescue, which had eventually come in the form of Voyager. Instead, surrendering her impatience and sense of helplessness at doing nothing, at having no control over the situation, she drafted a few others to go crawling about in the bowels of the ship in some misguided attempt at a rescue. Well, her father had said that she always had to take the rocky road, that she wasn’t happy unless the path was difficult. It wasn’t worth taking otherwise. Clearly, he had been right.
But she was getting damned tired of that character trait and vowed that from now on, she’d at least try to take the other path. She’d made life far too difficult for herself, and for Seven, who was an integral part of that life. It was time to start taking things easy.
Gingerly, she scrambled to her hands and knees, wiping the snow away from her face, and shaking it off her hands. Rising to her feet, she tested her ankle, determining that it would hold but would remain sore until she could make a visit to the nearest sickbay. She checked her pocket, drawing out the device to look it over. The light on the LED was now glowing red, and she made a face of consternation, sneaking a glance back to see if Sporn was watching this. Shielding it with her body, she tapped the panel a couple of times, and when that didn’t work, shook it violently back and forth. She felt a distinct sense of relief when the light finally switched back to green.
Limping slightly, she started once more for the rock, now feeling as if time was slipping away from her, that she had to hurry, though she had no idea why. This area seemed timeless, a desolate, empty world without any hint of life. The wind was a steady rush in her ears and she was grateful for the thermal outfit that not only provided camouflage, but kept her warm as well.
Finally, she reached the jutting collection of rocks, looking even odder up close than they had from a distance. A thick vein of lighter brown ran through the darker color, mixed with various other shades, indicating that there had been a severe geological upheaval at some time. She knelt on the leeward side of the outcropping, setting aside the device for a moment to free her hands to dig into the snow. As she dug, the sense of danger grew ever more pressing and she kept lifting her head, searching the horizon anxiously, not know what she was looking for, only that she felt an oppressive sense of imminent disaster.
It made no sense, but then, little of this mission made sense, which was part of why she hated temporal incursions so much. She wondered why she kept finding herself in the middle of them, from the leap back into the 20th Century where she had to stop a computer geek from destroying Earth by indiscriminate use of 29th Century technology to make his fortune, to Seven trying to stop Captain Braxton from destroying Voyager. Then there was the recent temporal loop where she and Seven found themselves back on Voyager for no other reason, it seemed, than to patch up the rift in their relationship. It was insane. Yet she seemed to attract them, like flies to honey.
She wished she could find temporal repellent that would ward them off forever.
Placing the device carefully at the bottom of the depression she had hollowed out, she began to brush snow back over it, hiding it from view. As she stood up, she could see that the wind would eventually wipe away any hint she had been there. Her tracks from the portal, a path that was alarmingly crooked, staggering this way and that, were already filling in, disappearing into the drifts of snow.
Still feeling an impending sense of dread and dismay, she stumbled back to the coordinates where the gateway waited. Plunging through the shimmering wall to the dry, dusty plaza beyond, she felt the terror leave her as if it had never been, and she wondered if she’d ever figure out the cause.
Mindful of Dr. Grey’s warning, Seven did not attempt any conversation with the Guardian, and Sporn seemed disinclined, as was natural for his species, to engage in small talk. Instead, he spent the time wandering about the nearby ruins, taking readings on his tricorder. Left to her own devices, she found the shattered remains of a pillar, similar to the architecture of ancient Greece, on which to sit. Resting her chin on her palm, she stared at the portal showing a hazy image of the world beyond, a white vista of snow and ice. Utilizing her ocular implant, she could barely make out a tiny speck in the distance, knowing it to be the figure of her spouse stumbling about in the snow.
Janeway would hate that, Seven knew. She hated cold and ice, preferring balmy temperatures and a tropical seascape, or at the very least, the warm and carefully controlled environment of a starship. Seven stood up abruptly when she saw the tiny figure fall into the snow, watching anxiously, and then finally relaxed again when she saw Janeway get up again and stumble on. It was nerve-racking standing by helplessly, limited to being only a spectator and not a participant. Uneasily, she sat down once more, her eyes glued to the hazy image.
Finally, the figure began the trip back, and Seven again rose to her feet, waiting apprehensively until Janeway finally stepped through the portal. Instantly, the image shifted, faded and disappeared behind her.
“Time has resumed its shape; all is as it was before. Many such journeys are possible. Let me be your gateway,” the Guardian intoned.
“Thanks, once was enough,” Janeway threw acerbically over her shoulder. Her face altered when she saw Seven and she quickened her pace, stepping gratefully into her arms. Seven thought she detected a hint of strain around her eyes and hugged her tightly. Nearby, Sporn abandoned his scans of the ruined city and returned to the plaza.
“Did you bury the device?” His tone held the slightest hint of urgency.
“Consider it done. Can we get out of here now?”
“Of course.” He tapped his communicator. “Epsilon Six, three to beam up.”
Back on the starbase, Janeway stripped off the white suit, discarding it distastefully into a nearby replicator. Seven frowned as she looked at Janeway's uniform collar. “Kathryn, you are missing a pip.”
Janeway blinked and reached up, fingering her collar and the three pips that remained. “So, I have. I must have lost it when I fell. It doesn’t matter. I'm sure as hell not going back to look for it.” Still irritable, she looked at Sporn. “Are we done here?”
“The mission is complete,” he said, lacking any offense at her tone. “According to Dr. Gray, the timeline is settling into its predicted pathway.”
“Wonderful. I trust I won’t have to see you again.”
“Actually, Captain, I’m required back in the Temporal Archives on Earth. I’ll be accompanying you on Voyager.”
“Well, at least until Risa.” She tapped her communicator, allowed to transmit now that her mission was complete. “Voyager, Janeway here. Three to beam over.”
“Aye, Commander.”
Seven lifted a brow at the address though Janeway didn't seem to notice, perhaps because she was still agitated from her temporal excursion. Seven was determined to get the details of what had happened as soon as possible. Janeway seemed inordinately disturbed for what had appeared to be a straightforward mission. In Voyager's transporter room, the ensign manning the transporter console was not the same one who had initially beamed them over to the base, a young man with Bajoran features.
“Commander, the captain would like to see you on the bridge.”
“That’s fine because I’d like to see him.” Again, Janeway did not seem to notice the incorrect address. Frowning, Seven followed Janeway and Sporn out of the transporter room and down the corridor to the turbolift.
When they stepped out onto the bridge, Seven’s nebulous worries instantly crystallized into dismay. A stranger stood up from the captain’s chair, a tall man with a solid build and dark tousled hair topping a ruggedly handsome face with deep blue eyes. “Kathryn, how did it go on the planet?”
Janeway had stopped dead, an expression of complete shock on her face, the blood draining from it as if she had sustained a deep, life-sucking wound. Beyond the strange captain, an older man stood up from the first officer’s chair, wearing the insignia of the admiralty on his collar. With a thrill of complete horror, Seven did recognize him, mostly from images she had seen in Janeway’s possession. But he shouldn’t be standing on the bridge of Voyager. He had died twenty years earlier, drowned beneath the polar cap of a distant planet while testing a new fighter called the Terra Nova.
And if Admiral Edward Janeway had somehow survived the terrible accident that had taken his life on Tau Ceti Prime, that meant…
“Justin?” Janeway’s voice was a croak, a mere parody of her normally strong husky tone. “Daddy?”
Seven looked back at the captain, a sick sensation filling her chest. Justin Tighe. He had been Janeway’s fiancé, the man she was going to marry, the love of her life who had perished along with her worshipped father in the freezing water. That tragedy had profoundly shaped the woman Janeway had become. Who would she be now? Seven wondered.
Then Janeway swayed unsteadily and instantly Seven was at her side, catching her as she fell. Apparently, the sight of her beloved dead brought back to life overwhelmed her, the shock simply too much even for her formidable composure. The burden of guilt she had carried all those years that she had somehow been responsible for their deaths and now, possibly for their resurrection, undoubtedly contributed to her collapse.
“Kathryn, what’s wrong?” Justin stepped forward, frowning at Seven in puzzlement. Clearly, he didn’t know who she was.
“She has fainted,” Sporn noted calmly. He hesitated. “Perhaps a delayed reaction to the mission, but I can assure you there will be no lasting effects.” Seven could tell he was treading carefully, watching what he said.
Admiral Janeway frowned at him. “Who are you? Are you two from Epsilon Six?”
“Yes, Lt. Hansen and I beamed over to monitor the timeline outside the temporal zone,” Sporn said. “We had to confirm that Cap---Commander Janeway’s mission was completely successful.”
“Of course.”
Seven, gripping the slumped Janeway, offered them all a quelling look. “I need to take Kathryn to sickbay,” she snapped, and swept Janeway up in her arms. Striding purposefully to the turbolift, she didn’t look back, not caring how Sporn smoothed over their presence on board this vessel. Her only concern was the woman in her arms and how soon she would recover. Seven carefully did not think of what was going to happen beyond that. Already things were terribly wrong and she suspected they would only get worse from this point. But she was certain that as long as she and Kathryn were together, they would find a way through it.
In sickbay, she carried Janeway to the first open biobed, and looked around. From the doctor’s office came a woman she didn’t recognize. It wasn’t Alexis Spencer, who was currently chief medical officer on Zar’s Voyager, nor the Emergency Medical Hologram she had known so well. It wasn’t even Dr. Kate Pulaski, Millennium’s doctor. Instead, this was a stranger, a Trill with the fathomless gaze that indicated she was joined. Her hair was long and dark, pulled back in a ponytail, while a line of spots ran up the side of her attractive features.
“What’s happened to our first officer this time?” Her tone was a mix of amusement and exasperation. She glanced once at Seven, realized she didn’t know her, but didn’t pause in her ministrations, pulling out a medical tricorder with its accompanying scanner that she ran over Janeway, peering intently at the resulting readings scrolling past her screen. “Hmm, there’s no sign of injury or disease.”
“She fainted.”
The doctor blinked. “Fainted? Commander Kathryn Tighe fainted? That’s hard to believe. She’s tough as nails. She’s never fainted in her life!”
“Nonetheless, that is what happened, Doctor…?”
“Dax. Jadzia Dax.” She glanced at her, a thin eyebrow rising. “You’re from the Epsilon Six base?”
Seven hesitated. “Yes.”
“Well, trust me when I tell you this is very unusual behavior. Wait outside, please until I complete my diagnostic.”
Seven opened her mouth, about to refuse, and then reconsidered it, realizing that she had to be careful, even if she didn’t like it much. Reluctantly, she left sickbay, glancing back one last time at Kathryn’s still face.
Outside in the corridor, she felt herself start to shake and her cortical node immediately released a flood of nanoprobes into her system to stabilize the physical reactions to her wayward emotions. She glanced up as the turbolift opened and Sporn, accompanied by Justin and Edward appeared.
“Lt. Hansen, what's happening? Is Kathryn all right?” Justin’s tone was brusque and presumptuous, filled with concern for his…wife? Dax had called her ‘Kathryn Tighe’. Seven, who had started to bristle at his tone, immediately felt sick and helpless.
“The Doctor requested I leave,” she managed to reply with a coolness she was far from experiencing. She glanced away from Justin, finding it difficult to look at him for very long and focused her attention on Sporn. “Sir, I feel we should brief the cap---commander immediately after her return to consciousness. There are temporal security issues at stake.”
Sporn lifted a brow and nodded slowly. “That’s probably wise, Lieutenant.” He turned to Captain Tighe. “We need to speak with her privately, finish up a few details. There may be certain protocols that need to be clarified.”
Justin frowned. “Is that really necessary?”
Admiral Janeway stepped forward, putting a hand on his shoulder. “It probably is, son,” he said, his voice kind but firm. “Trust me when I tell you that security is at a premium whenever we’re dealing with Epsilon Six. Whatever Katie did for them, we’re not cleared to know and we may never be cleared to know.”
“It should only take a few minutes, Captain,” Sporn added delicately.
Justin didn’t like it, Seven could see that, but he nodded grudgingly. “Very well.”
Sporn exchanged a look with Seven and together, they entered sickbay. Dax looked up at their arrival, a frown twisting her comely features. “What the hell did you do to her over there? She had a sprained ankle, but I repaired that. Otherwise, she should be awake by now.”
“Doctor?”
“I don’t know why, but she’s resisting the stimulant,” Dr. Dax said. “It’s as if she’s refusing to regain consciousness.”
Seven recognized this. A great shock, particularly of this nature, sent Janeway deep into despair, and made her seek out sleep with a determined desperation. It was her refuge, her solace, but not one that she had required in years. Nudging Dax aside, she leaned over Janeway, placing her lips next to her ear.
“Kathryn, please wake up. I need you,” she whispered so that only Janeway could hear.
Immediately, there was brief flutter of eyelids, a small moan, and then Dax was shoving Seven to the end of the biobed, out of the way. There, Seven felt Sporn grip her arm and shocked at the Vulcan who, as a species, normally avoided personal touch due to their psychic abilities, she stared wildly at him. Immediately, he dropped his hand, looking the faintest bit disconcerted.
“Lieutenant, I’m not entirely sure what’s happened, but until we can determine if this is indeed, the outcome that was intended, the temporal Prime Directive is fully in effect. We must maintain it for the duration.”
“How long will that duration last?”
“Until Voyager leaves. Then it will take care of itself.”
Seven caught her breath, knowing what that meant, but all she said was, “I understand.”
Though she wished with every fiber of her being that she didn’t.
Janeway groaned, feeling her head throb. Dimly, she was aware of Sporn talking to Seven, the words coming as if from very far away. “The temporal Prime Directive is fully in effect. We must maintain it for the duration.”
“How long will that duration last?” Seven's tone was sharp, demanding, filled with an underlying fear that Janeway recognized though she didn’t know the cause.
“Until Voyager breaks orbit. Then it will take care of itself.”
Janeway opened her eyes, blearily looking at Seven and Sporn who were standing face to face at the foot of the sickbay biobed. Next to her, an attractive Trill dressed in a white coat scanned her with a medical tricorder, peering intently at the readings.
Janeway desperately tried to catch up, not quite sure what had happened or how she had ended up sickbay. Seven's face was set in an expression that she was all too familiar with. Whatever she was hearing, she didn't like it at all, but all she said was: “I understand.”
Janeway tried to say something to attract their attention, and was surprised when it came out in an inarticulate croak. Immediately, both Seven and Sporn turned to her.
The Trill shook her head. “Kathryn, I’m not sure what’s going on here, but I bet I don’t want to know, considering it involves temporal mechanics and that damned Guardian. These Epsilon Six officers need to speak with you. I’ll be in my office.”
She immediately turned and strode rapidly into the doctor’s office, sealing the door firmly behind her. Bemused, but fully in accord with the young woman’s comment, Janeway frowned at her spouse. “Seven?”
“Kathryn.”
Sporn interrupted their reunion, speaking quietly but urgently. “Cap---Commander, we only have a moment before the captain and admiral insist on seeing you. You are in full Temporal Prime Directive mode. Do you understand?”
She pursed her lips, not liking it any more than Seven apparently had, but not seeing as she had any choice. “Fine.” She hesitated and reached up, feeling the three pips on her collar. “Commander?”
“In this timeline, you are the chief science officer and exec to Captain Justin Tighe.” He hesitated. “Apparently he is also your husband.”
“Dear God. Then, he and daddy...”
“They did not die in this timeline,” Seven said in an oddly distant tone. “Obviously, you were able to transport them to safety.”
“So, what I did on that planet somehow prevented them from dying?” Janeway marveled, feeling so many conflicted emotions that it was difficult to keep any of them under control. Was that why the planet had looked so familiar? Had that been Tau Ceti Prime? She hadn’t recognized it without the debris of a crashed Terra Nova scattered all over it. She glanced at Seven, seeing the coldness in her eyes and realizing why she was so upset. “Darling—” she began.
“Kathryn!”
The door hissed open to herald the arrival of Justin and Edward. Janeway closed her mouth with a snap and rose to a sitting position in time to be swept up in a strong hug by Justin. “God, I was so worried about you.”
“I'm all right,” she said, feeling breathless as he squeezed her. Over his shoulder, her eyes feasted on the sight of her father, so much older than she remembered, thinning gray hair even thinner, his kind features more wrinkled and craggy but undeniably his. He was smiling, reaching out to pat her hand where it rested on Justin's back.
He looked over at Sporn and Seven who had stepped back to allow the family reunion. “Has she recovered?”
“Yes, Admiral,” Sporn said smoothly. “But Lt. Hansen and I will monitor the situation until Voyager breaks orbit.”
“You’re sure there’s no lasting symptoms?” Justin demanded as he released her, straightening to regard him anxiously.
“There shouldn’t be.”
Edward cleared his throat and returned his focus on his daughter. “In the meantime, there's someone else here who wants to see you.”
He stepped aside and a small form who had been hidden by his bulk suddenly appeared. Head topped with deep auburn hair framing big bluish gray eyes, the little boy came forward hesitantly. His features, an unmistakable mix of Janeway and Tighe, were screwed up in a combination of unease and dismay. “Mommy, are you all right?”
Wide-eyed, Janeway shot a look at Seven who looked back at her, equally wide-eyed. “I'm fine.” Somehow, she managed to make her tone comforting, indicating none of the astonishment and consternation seeping through her, threatening to send her spiraling into unconsciousness once more. Honestly, she didn't consider herself to be the frail sort, but the shocks just kept hitting her, one after another. She forced a smile. “You weren't really worried about me, were you?”
He looked at her keenly for a moment, then his face abruptly relaxed and she could see the open, friendliness accompanied by more than a hint of mischief, that was undoubtedly his normal expression. “Naww, I knew you'd be all right.” Abruptly, he threw his arms around her neck, gave her a quick and somewhat sloppy kiss on her cheek and then headed for the door. “I gotta get back to the holodeck,” he threw over his shoulder. “We're having a class trip. I’ll see you later”
The sickbay seemed to echo with emptiness after the door hissed shut behind him, despite the fact there were five people crowded into a small area. Six now that Dax chose that moment to rejoin them.
“So, what happens now?” Dax asked in a practical tone.
There was a brief silence as everyone looked at Sporn and Seven, Janeway because she was terribly worried for her spouse, and the rest because they were waiting on the Epsilon Six base to give them clearance to leave.
“If possible, we would like you to remain in orbit another day,” Sporn said smoothly. Only Janeway and Seven recognized that he was making it up as he went along, trying to buy some time.
“I can’t promise anything if new orders come down from Starfleet Command,” Justin responded in a warning tone. “We were on our way to Vargus Prime when your request for my first officer’s presence diverted us here. We still need to get those medical supplies to the colony.”
“I understand, and we’ll send you on your way as soon as we’re certain everything is as it should be.”
Justin looked back and forth between them, his eyes lingering on Seven briefly, clearly taking in the Borg implants but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he nodded. “Fine. You’ll have complete access to our science department’s database. In the meantime, you can work out of our guest quarters.” He tapped his communicator. “Can I have someone sent to sickbay to escort our guests to deck three.”
Seven looked as if she wanted to protest, glancing once at Janeway, but then her lips thinned and she remained silent. Janeway wanted to protest as well, but she didn’t know what to say. Though she tried. “Are you sure you’re through briefing me?”
Sporn’s dark eyebrow lifted. “We will need to speak further, Commander, but for now, Lt. Hansen and I must go over our report to Epsilon Six.”
An ensign appeared in the doorway and with a backward look from Seven over her shoulder, the pair were escorted out of sickbay. Janeway slipped her legs over the side of the biobed, sitting up. She managed not to jump as Justin put a hand on the small of her back.
“Careful, Katie, take your time.”
She shot a glance at him, wondering at the use of a nickname that only her family had ever used. She wasn’t sure she liked hearing it from him. “I’m fine,” she said shortly, though she managed not to shrug him off.
“Nonetheless, consider yourself off duty for the rest of the day,” he said, ignoring the tone. “Go back to our quarters, get some rest.”
It sounded like an order and Janeway didn’t take orders very well from other captains. Of course, in this instance, he was the only captain present. That would take some getting used to. Then she paused, horrified at the thought. Was she supposed to get used to this? Suddenly, retreating to the captain’s quarters didn’t seem like such a bad idea.
“All right.” She rose to her feet and regarded her father. “Daddy, I hope I get a chance to speak with you later.”
He looked mildly surprised. “Of course. I’ll stop by this evening.”
Feeling more than a little lost, Janeway left sickbay and headed for her quarters … their quarters. She frowned as she entered the cabin, looking around in an evaluation of this other life she had supposedly led. The decor was bland, lacking much in personality other than the images put up on the bulkheads and scattered over the various surfaces. There was a large one of her and Justin, with her looking very young in a wedding dress she couldn’t imagine ever wearing, a few of her and her father, and several of the little boy in sickbay. There were none of Phoebe or Gretchen and Janeway wondered why. Wandering around the quarters, she discovered the messy confines of what could only be the boy's bedroom behind one of the doors.
A son. She and Justin had a son. It boggled the mind. Aimlessly, she picked up a few of the clothes discarded on the deck, glanced around uncertainly, and finally put them up on a nightstand. It did not make the room look any neater. Perhaps she should let Seven loose on it.
The thought brought a bittersweet smile. This was going to be a mess in more ways than one, she realized. Aching inside, she wandered back out into the main living area. Across it was another door, undoubtedly her and Justin’s bedroom. She felt a decided twinge at that. She’d just have to deal with it when the time came, she decided uneasily.
The door hissed open, startling her, and she whirled to witness the entrance of a little ball of energy. He threw a padd on the nearby sofa and made a beeline for his bedroom. A moment later, he came out, clutching some small items that looked like figurines of some kind.
Janeway, frozen in the center of the room, regarded him uncertainly as he plopped down on the deck next to the sofa and started manipulating the figures in completely baffling ways. He seemed to be ignoring her until it finally occurred to him that perhaps his mother should not be standing there staring at him with a bemused expression on her face.
“Uh, Mom?”
“How was school?” she managed.
“Good.” He paused, his little brows drawn together, a frown on his face. He looked a lot like his father when he did that, she realized. “What’s for dinner?”
“What would you like?” she asked cautiously. Somehow, her specialty of Orion finger foods didn’t seem appropriate in this case.
He brightened. “I can choose tonight?”
Clearly, that was a rare and special occasion, but if it helped her to come up with something for dinner, she was all for it. “Of course, you can,” she said with more confidence. “What would you like?”
“Mac and cheese. And hot dogs.”
That was good. She could manage that particular program. In fact, she and her fellow cadets had pretty much lived on the simple dishes at the Academy while cramming for exams.
“Coming right up.”
“Aren’t you going to wait for Dad?”
She turned back from the replicator. “Of course.” She paused. “Around what time will he be arriving?”
He offered her an odd look. “After his duty shift. 1730 hours.”
The regular time, of course, she thought with a bit of a mental slap. She hesitated again, and then moved over to the chair, taking a seat next to the boy. She still didn’t know what to do next, but hopefully that wasn’t quite so apparent while she was sitting down.
Seven turned on Sporn as soon as they entered the VIP quarters, the door barely hissing shut behind them. “We must do something.”
“We are doing something,” he said calmly, going over to the workstation. “We are evaluating the situation and determining our next course of action.”
It sounded suspiciously insufficient, but Seven merely shot him a glare and took her place at the other workstation, bringing up the ship’s database.
“I will contact Epsilon Six and determine what they’ve found so far,” Sporn continued as he tapped in commands. “You scan the history of the past twenty years and determine what exactly has changed.”
Seven set to work, tuning out his voice as he spoke to the starbase, and concentrating on the main historical events that had occurred since Janeway’s ‘adjustment’ of the timeline. They were considerable.
Admiral Janeway, having survived the crash on Tai Ceti Prime, had been instrumental in implementing a new peace treaty with the Cardassians, including a clause that compelled them to leave the occupied Bajor several years earlier than they had in Seven’s timeline. Because of that, Deep Space Nine had never been established, the wormhole leading to the Gamma Quadrant had never been discovered, and most importantly, the Changelings and the Jem’Hadar had not invaded. There had never been a Dominion War. Millions had not perished, worlds had not been subjugated and the Federation, the Klingons and the Romulans had not suffered massive losses in their respective fleets. Thanks to the efforts of Edward Janeway and others like him, Cardassia had become a welcome, if not especially trusted ally of the Federation. The Klingons were less allied than they had been, but still peaceful, and while the Romulans were apparently as big a mystery as they’d ever been, they had been quiet for quite some time, keeping to themselves and maintaining the Neutral Zone.
There had never been a Maquis created on the border worlds. And because of that, Voyager had never been compelled to chase them down in the Badlands. It had never been lost for seven years in the Delta Quadrant.
Without the threat of the Dominion, science and technology had not advanced to the same level. Voyager’s navigational system, her weapons and defense capabilities, were much the same now as they had been ten years earlier. Seven suspected that was the case with all the other vessels in the fleet. The Enterprise of this era was the Enterprise E, still flying with Picard at its helm, but it was not the powerful, state-of-the-art Sovereign-class vessel that had been built after the loss of the Enterprise D. There was no listing of a USS Millennium, nor any indication that a transwarp/slipstream vessel was being researched or built in the Utopia Planetia shipyards.
Further searching the database along more personal lines, Seven discovered that while there was a Lt. B’Elanna Torres and Lt. Ro Laren in Starfleet, they were posted to separate vessels in different parts of the sector. Tom Paris was serving out his sentence in a penal facility. Harry Kim was a lieutenant on board the Rutledge. Seven lifted a brow. There was a Lenara Kahn on board Voyager, apparently partnered with the chief medical officer. That was interesting, but only held Seven’s attention for a moment before she continued searching for information on the other people she knew. Captain Chakotay commanded the Ahwwahnee but he had no dependent named Icheb at Starfleet Academy. Tuvok served as a security officer on Chakotay’s ship, which held a sort of irony, Seven supposed. There was no record of a Kes or a Neelix, no mention of a sentient EMH, and Zar Tulek had never existed, either on Bajor or on Cardassia.
Most significantly, there was no indication of either a Seven of Nine or Annika Hansen working anywhere in the quadrant, not even in a civilian capacity. There was a mention of two scientists, Erin and Magnus Hansen, who went missing in a far-reaching section of Alpha Quadrant several years earlier, so undoubtedly, they were all currently drones on Borg vessels in the Delta Quadrant. Did the Borg even exist at this point? Prior to Voyager’s intervention, the conflict with Species 8472 had been going very badly for the Collective. It was very possible that the Borg had been destroyed and Species 8472 had retreated to their region of fluidic space.
Seven found it difficult to breathe and had to forcibly regulate her respiration after assimilating all this information. Then she turned to what most concerned her, Janeway’s personnel file. Bypassing the security seals on both it and that of Voyager’s commanding officer, she brought them up on her screen.
Janeway had never been a starship captain. Seven found the concept both baffling and disturbing in a way that she could not fully explain, only felt in the deepest part of herself.
Instead, it had been Justin who had been placed on the fast track for command, and Justin who had received special notice from various admirals, including Janeway’s father. He had quickly risen through the ranks to first officer, and then captain, initially on the Icarus, before being awarded the brand new Intrepid-class Voyager. But unlike the Voyager of the other timeline, this ship’s record consisted mostly of political and diplomatic missions, not science or even of exploration. Justin was clearly being groomed for an eventual posting in Starfleet Administration.
And where had that left Kathryn? She and Justine had been married a year after the accident. It had taken that long for everyone to fully recover from their injuries. Pursuing a career in the sciences, she served out a string of postings on whichever ship Justin was assigned until finally, she became chief science officer and ship exec on Voyager. Seven was left with an aching sense of loss and an acute awareness of the utter waste of it all.
And she had a son, born a year after Justin had taken command of Icarus. Seven was still trying to adapt to the reality of the little boy in sickbay, so much of Kathryn apparent in his look and movement. It made her heart hurt even now.
Sporn looked up from his screen. “I’ve spoken with Dr. Grey. Janeway’s incursion has prevented millions from dying and created a fully restored Bajor. Apparently, the Dominion War was never supposed to happen.”
“Are you so sure the initial timeline was the one that was in error?” Seven asked urgently. “And not this one?”
Sporn hesitated. “Dr. Grey is. Apparently, Starfleet Command has studied this for many years. They believe that the war significantly weakened the Federation. Otherwise, the Guardian would not have mentioned Janeway’s required intervention.”
But it hadn’t weakened the Federation, Seven thought, conscious of the technological and scientific advances made over the past few years. But perhaps that was merely her opinion, unquestionably influenced by her time in the Collective. It was clear that events had progressed so that the Alpha Quadrant was enjoying one of its safest, most stable periods in history. That was the whole purpose of Starfleet, to protect and preserve the Federation. If there was any indication that a temporal incursion would contribute to such stability...a temporal incursion that everyone assumed was destined to happen as recorded by the Guardian of Forever...then of course they would accept this new timeline and Seven could find no way to refute it. And while this may be a great personal loss to her, ultimately, millions of individuals were better off.
And most of all, Kathryn had her father back.
Seven felt tears sting her eyes and it was only with great effort that she could blink them back. Swallowing hard, she picked up a few padds, downloaded the crucial data into them and stood up.
“I will pursue this in my room,” she said, striving for an even tone.
Sporn stared at her, and there might even have been a bit of compassion in his gaze, supposing he was capable of it. “Seven, let me know if there is anything to indicate the Guardian or Starfleet Command are incorrect in their assessment. I will listen to any evidence you discover.”
Seven nodded briefly, appreciating the fairness of the offer, but aware that by doing so, he didn’t really think she would find anything. Once inside her room, she sat on the side of the bed and stared blankly at the bulkhead. Accessing her memory, and the specs in Voyager’s database, she knew the captain’s quarters lay just beyond the solid, titanium wall. A glance at the chronometer indicated it was nearly dinnertime.
Placing her left hand on the wall, fingers spread, she tried to detect something from beyond it. Was Kathryn eating with her family at this moment? And what of later? When it was time to retire for the evening, what would Janeway do to uphold the Temporal Prime Directive? How far would she go?
And would it be truly so difficult for her?
Kathryn had loved Justin Tighe as much as she had ever loved Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero One. It was only his loss that had paved the way for Seven and Janeway to eventually be together, because certainly his survival had prevented them from ever meeting. Had he not died, even if everything else had happened the same, Seven was convinced that Janeway would not love her. She would have loved Justin, first and foremost. She would fall in love with him again. It was only a matter of time.
Seven closed her eyes, feeling her heart shatter into a million pieces.
The longer they were in each other’s company, the more comfortable Janeway felt with her ‘son’. She eventually slipped off the chair and became involved with his convoluted game of action figures. Afterward, he helped her set the table. When Justin arrived, they were laughing over his recounting of his field trip in the holodeck. To Janeway’s surprise, however, Justin scowled when he heard the laughter as he entered their quarters and the boy immediately went quiet as he went to his place at the table.
Janeway put out the bowl of macaroni and cheese and the stack of hot dogs on the table.
“What’s this?” Justin stared at the repast in horror.
“Dinner,” she said, with a smile at her son. “It was his turn to pick.”
Justin glanced at his son, grunted, and with what was clearly an effort, he took a couple of scoops of the cheesy pasta and started to eat.
After a few moments, her son started to tell Janeway about a picture he had drawn in class after the field trip. He was about to go retrieve it when Justin frowned.
“Eddie, you know there’s no leaving the table at dinner.” So, relieved was she at finally having a name to go with her offspring, Janeway overlooked the sharpness in Justin's tone.
“Yes, Father.”
Eddie ate the rest of his meal quietly while Janeway stared at her husband. It was her first real opportunity to look at him since regaining consciousness in sickbay. He appeared tired, but since that was an occupational hazard with command, Janeway disregarded it. She supposed the real difference was in his build, a far cry from the sleek, lean panther-like grace he had enjoyed in his younger days. Middle age and perhaps even marriage had widened him, made him look softer, except around the eyes. They were the same, piercing blue they had always been. He became aware of her scrutiny, and lifted his head.
“How are you feeling?” he asked abruptly.
Janeway blinked. “I’m fine. How are you?”
He looked at her a moment. “I know you can’t tell me what went on down there, but I have to say, it seems to have changed you a little.”
“How so?”
He studied her, and then shook his head. “I’m not sure. You’re just…I don’t know, you carry yourself with more assurance somehow. I think I like it.”
Great, Janeway thought sardonically. That’s all I need.
She was surprised to find that she didn't find him the slightest bit attractive. She didn’t quite understand why. She knew that his looks had altered a bit, of course, and he was unquestionably much older than the dynamic, intense thirty-year-old she had known, but still, this was the man she had fallen in love with all those years ago, and had expected to share the rest of her life with. Where was the emotion that had been so powerful and overwhelming in her twenties? She took another bite of macaroni and searched for something to say, remembering the bits and pieces of conversation from sickbay.
“Do you know where we’re going after Vargus Prime?”
He shrugged. “I think Starfleet Command want us to stop by Vulcan to pick up some dignitaries for a conference on Betazed.” He continued without any further prompting, giving his opinion regarding the issues the conference would be addressing and what they might mean to the rest of the Federation. Eddie, clearly bored, asked to be excused and went off to his bedroom to do his homework.
Janeway, having to stay and listen to Justin’s rambling monologue, had two supremely horrifying realizations. One, Justin was a completely different type of captain than she had been, and two, he was not the sort of captain she would ever serve under had she been given any choice. It was quite odd knowing that she somehow not only managed it in this timeline, she was his first officer. She was quite relieved when Eddie came out of the bedroom to show her his picture, a colorful sketch of Voyager and what had to be his parents. She noted that Justin was drawn much bigger than she was.
“This is very good,” she praised him. She handed the picture over to Justin, who glanced at it briefly before putting it down on the table.
“Have you finished your homework?”
Eddie, obviously anticipating a different reaction from his father, looked crestfallen, “No, sir,” he mumbled as he picked up the picture. “I’ll do it now.” Head bent, he returned to his room.
“Would it have killed you to say something nice about his picture?” Janeway snapped as soon as the door hissed shut behind him
Startled, Justin looked at her. “What? That bit of scribbling?”
“He created it, and he was proud of it.” Despite her best effort, Janeway couldn’t stop talking. “Why are you dismissing it?”
“Kathryn, it’s an indulgence,” Justin said in a paternal tone that immediately set her teeth on edge. “He needs to pay more attention to his math and sciences, not play around with crayons.”
“They weren’t crayons, they were pastels. I suppose you consider what Phoebe does to be useless, too.”
“So, do you. At least you’ve always said so,” he responded in bewilderment. Janeway felt her head go back in surprise. Now she understood the lack of any sisterly images in her quarters. Without the shared tragedy of losing their father, they apparently had never managed to reconcile the repercussions of their youthful squabbles. “What’s going on, Kathryn? Why are you so angry?”
Janeway caught her breath. Clearly, she was acting out of character, though she was beginning to wonder if she particularly liked the character of the woman she had been in this timeline. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I suppose I’m a little on edge.”
His face cleared and he nodded as if he understood. “That’s not surprising. I know how much you dislike anything involving temporal mechanics.” He paused, a furrow appearing between his dark brows. “We’ve talked about this, Kathryn. I thought you didn’t want to encourage Eddie’s pursuit of the arts. We wanted him to concentrate more on the sciences.”
Janeway was horrified. “I’ve changed my mind,” she said quickly. “If art and design is more his calling and it makes him happy, then I’m all for it.”
“But it could be considered a bit weak. After all, if he’d grown up on Klatus Prime, he’d already be working in the mines. Besides, he’ll need all his sciences and math to get into the Academy.”
“But isn’t that why you worked so hard to get out of Klatus Prime? So that you wouldn’t have to do what your father and grandfather had to do?” Janeway retorted, abruptly furious. “Don’t expect Eddie to follow in our footsteps just because we demand it of him. And he’s not weak, for God’s sake, he’s eight years old!” Her anger was enhanced because she knew how much weak people annoyed Justin. It had been one of the first things he’d ever told her, in fact. Did Eddie annoy him and worse, did his son know it? “He’s a bright little boy who wants to make his parents, particularly his father, proud. Don’t be such a bloody ass.”
Justin, his jaw hanging open a bit, just stared at her. She firmed her chin, knowing she had said way too much, but feeling an irresistible need to protect Eddie, to stand up for him against an uncaring universe and apparently, an uncaring father.
“I uh, I have some things to do in engineering,” he said, clearly at a loss. “I’ll be back later.” When you’ve cooled down a bit and come to your senses, was unspoken but clearly implied.
He quickly made his escape and she shook her head as she picked up her plate. By the time she had finished putting away the last remains of dinner. Eddie had come out of the bedroom with his homework for her to check. As they curled up on the sofa while she went over it with him, she wondered why this part, at least, felt so right when everything else felt so completely wrong. She pointed out a couple of mistakes but patiently explained where he had gone wrong, and at one point she found she was kissing the top of his head fondly as he snuggled into her body.
After he went off to bed at 0800, she went over to her workstation. She was about to research Federation history when a chime at the door made her leap up. “Seven?” She paused, regaining her composure. “Come in.”
Her father entered, and again, she felt that odd sense of displacement. She remembered an incident in the Delta Quadrant when an alien lifeform had appeared to her in Edward’s form, trying to lure her to her death. Despite how it had turned out, and the hatred she felt at the creature for using such a precious memory to trick her, there had also been a part of her that had been strangely grateful, because it had given her a chance to see him again.
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Hello, sweetheart,” he said, as he came over and gave her a hug. “I ran into Justin. He says you’re feeling a bit disturbed this evening.”
Immediately, she felt a sense of old pain and disappointment. So, Edward wasn’t really here for her, he was here on behalf of Justin? “Is that why you stopped by?” she snapped. “So that you two can gang up on me?”
“Katie, not at all,” he said, bewildered. “I promised I’d stop by this evening, remember? What’s going on?”
Shaken, she turned away, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. She needed to focus. “Sorry, Dad, it’s been a rough day.”
There was a silence, and then he asked with infinite gentleness, “Was it so very bad, Goldenbird?” She turned to him, surprised both at the question and to hear his pet name for her. He held up his hand. “I know, you can't tell me any of the specifics. Even an admiral doesn't have the necessary clearance to know what goes on in that starbase or on that planet once we leave it. But I know that even being aware of other timelines...of paths chosen and not chosen...can be a heavy burden to bear.”
“I'll deal with it, Dad,” she said mildly. “I've dealt with much worse.”
“Indeed,” he said, though there wasn't a great deal of conviction in his tone.
Janeway eyed him narrowly. Perhaps he knew better than she. Perhaps in this timeline, her burdens were light indeed, those of being a part of the support personnel only, and not in command. She motioned to the sofa in invitation and sat down beside him once he had settled. “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m really glad you were able to come along on this mission.”
“Well, you know me, any chance to visit with my girl,” he said, smiling. “We don’t spend nearly as much time together as I wish we did.”
Janeway stared at him, struck again by the fact that he was there, real and solid, so very alive and vital. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, so much she needed to hear, and all of it tempered by the ever-present restriction of the Temporal Prime Directive and her own lack of knowledge about her past in this timeline. Still, if she had the chance to ask anyone for advice that she could take to heart and know it was right; it would be from this man above all.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Anytime, you know that, sweetheart.”
“If I…I mean, if Justin was in a position where he had to choose between his ship and his family and chose the latter, what would you think?”
Edward blinked. “Are you trying to tell me something, Katie?”
“No, it’s just a hypothetical scenario. What would be the position of Starfleet Command on it? Not what the manual says, or what an unmarried captain would say, what would really happen?”
“Life or death?”
“As crucial as that, but not quite. More a matter of personal pressures.”
Edward rested his chin between his forefinger and thumb, elbow propped on the arm of the sofa and Janeway suddenly realized where she had picked up that affectation. “I suppose that depending on the circumstances, and depending on the results, he might face a certain amount of censure from various quarters. But speaking as a father, I’d take his head off if he didn’t do right by you and Eddie.”
Startled, Janeway laughed. “Would you indeed?”
“Indeed.” He smiled. “Our captains are human, Katie, and by that, I don’t mean species, I mean possessing the same fallibilities and vulnerabilities as anyone. I know that sometimes we demand more from them, so much that occasionally we forget who we’re really dealing with, but honestly, all anyone can do is the best they can, and if they do it with integrity and honest intentions, then it’ll work itself out.”
“So, you don’t think he would be unfit for command if he chose family over his ship?” Janeway held her breath.
“Hardly. If that were the case, we wouldn’t be able to keep any of our married captains. Because at some point all of them will have a crisis of command verses a crisis of family and again, depending on the circumstances, Starfleet Command must understand that it comes with the territory. And let’s face it, Kathryn, if a man can’t commit to do right by his loved ones, how can we believe he’ll commit to an ideal? The whole concept of Starfleet and the Federation is nothing more than a grandiose ideal. When your mother and I separated, it onl---Katie, what is it?”
Janeway had strived to maintain her composure at the revelation, but despite her best effort, she had made a small cry of astonishment. He was regarding her with an odd expression and she managed a smile. “Sorry, Dad, I guess it’s still a bit of a sore spot.” She yearned to ask for details but knew it would be impossible in the role she was playing. She was already supposed to know the details.
His face softened. “You need to forgive your mother, Kathryn. Michael makes her happy in a way I couldn’t.”
Oh, boy, she thought. What a can of worms I opened here. Well, I suppose that explains the lack of any pictures in my quarters. Edward was still looking at her and she frantically searched for something to say.
“He’s just a commander,” she growled finally.
“Let it go, Katie.”
“I have, Dad,” she said, quite honestly.
“Does that mean you’ll call your mother the next time you’re on Earth?” he added, clearly pressing.
Janeway held up her hands, laughing. “I will, Dad,” she promised, wondering just what kind of spoilt brat she had been in this timeline.
And vowing to make some changes as soon as possible.
Seven stood up quickly as the door to the guest quarters abruptly hissed open without any request for admittance. The sight of Kathryn in the entrance was like a draught of cool water on a blistering hot day, the sense of relief and joy so strong that it almost overwhelmed her. She took two long strides as Janeway took two of her own and then they were in each other’s arms, clinging together.
“I’m sorry, I don’t have much time,” Janeway muttered. “I had to slip away from my duties.”
Seven, knowing what Janeway apparently did not yet suspect, merely held her as close as possible, breathing in the scent of her hair and feeling the warmth of her body against her own. She cherished each and every millisecond, recording it, memorizing it, burning it into her memory, knowing it would have to sustain her for a long time.
Sporn came out of his bedroom. “Captain…Commander, we cannot afford this.”
Janeway released Seven briefly to glare at him. “Damn it, I know we’re under protocols—” she began hotly.
“No, it's not that,” he interrupted. “It’s time for Voyager to break orbit. We’ve kept them here as long as is prudently possible. Seven and I must return to Epsilon Six to map out our next course of action.”
Janeway stared at him, and then at Seven, searching her face, her eyes asking the question that her lips couldn’t seem to manage.
“I do not want you to leave, Kathryn,” Seven said, somehow keeping her voice low and under control. “But I have searched the Federation databanks and there is no record of an Annika Hansen existing in this timeline. If a Seven of Nine does, then it is only as a Borg drone. I have no place here or in your life.”
“Certain procedures must be followed, Commander Tighe,” Sporn added, emphasizing the name ever so slightly. “I too, must find a way to reintegrate myself into this timeline.”
“Then I’ll stay on Epsilon Six until we’re able to work out a proper background for Seven,” Janeway said immediately.
“I’m afraid that’s impossible,” Sporn said. “You hold a rather prominent place in the Federation, or rather, you hold a rather prominent place in the lives of those who do fill important roles here. You cannot simply decide that the existence you've led in this timeline is invalid and walk away from it. There will be questions, and it will be a complete violation of the Temporal Prime Directive.”
“I don't give a damn about the Temporal Prime Directive,” she flared, her eyes dark and stormy.
“Be that as it may,” Sporn replied, unperturbed, “Starfleet Command does, and you are sworn to uphold those protocols, regardless of your personal feelings concerning them.”
Janeway glared at him and then let her breath out in a huff. “Fine, I'll find a way to leave Voyager and return here in a way that makes sense to Justin and Daddy...” she faltered briefly, “and to Eddie.”
“As you will. In the meantime, I’ve informed Captain Tighe that Lt. Hansen and I will be beaming back to the base.”
Stymied, Janeway turned to Seven. Things were happening too quickly for her, Seven saw, but she suspected this was a thing best done quickly. Before Janeway began to consider all the ramifications of the situation.
“At least let me beam over with you,” Janeway said, exasperated. “I need to say a few things to my wife.”
“She’s not your wife,” Sporn reminded, saw how well that went over from the expression on Janeway’s face and took a step back, both figuratively and literally. “Very well. I will tell the captain that we need to go over some last-minute security details with you.”
Seven was aware of Kathryn’s worried look in her direction, but didn’t say anything. She couldn’t. Once she tried to give voice to what she was thinking and feeling, it would be impossible to stop. That would make everything far more complicated and would accomplish nothing. Fortunately, Captain Tighe didn’t seem to find it strange that they needed to debrief his first officer one final time and after receiving his permission to transport, the three of them beamed back to the base. Sporn, showing more perception and sensitivity than he had displayed before now, discreetly left the two women alone, taking the guards along with him out into the corridor.
Janeway threw her arms around Seven’s neck, holding her close. “I’m so sorry about this, darling. I hate that we have to be apart while we work this out.”
“I know, Kathryn.” Seven found it hard to swallow, and rapidly blinked her eyes, forcing back the tears. “I will attempt to expedite the process as much as possible.”
Janeway smiled faintly. “I’m sure you will. I doubt Sporn and Dr. Grey will know what hit them.” She kissed her, lips soft and sweet against Seven’s. “Try to leave some of them alive, darling. Starfleet Command needs this Unit for some reason, though I have no idea why.”
Seven held her closer. She wanted to say so many things to her, but couldn’t find the words. Janeway seemed to sense her hesitation, but misread the cause of it.
“Don’t worry, darling, there’s nothing between Justin and myself. Whatever I might have felt for him at one time, it’s definitely not there now.” She nuzzled Seven’s chin. “Last night, I pretended to have a headache and after he went to bed, I went out and slept on the sofa.”
“And tonight?” Seven managed in a dry tone.
“I’ll think of something,” Janeway promised with a small laugh that didn’t necessarily hold a great deal of humor. “Don’t I always?”
“You do, Kathryn,” Seven whispered, but did not add that it would be impossible this time, no matter how much she might wish it to be different. She took a deep breath, holding onto her composure with the last vestiges of her control. “I love you, Kathryn. I have always loved you. I will always love you. That will never change, no matter what happens.”
“Oh, Annika, please, don’t cry, it won’t take that long before we’re together again. Time will pass quickly.”
That was exactly what Seven was afraid of. She hugged her as closely as possible, not wanting to let her go and Janeway returned the embrace, snuggled into her body in that familiar way, tucked up under her chin, as if there were only the two of them in the universe and nothing else mattered. Finally, Janeway drew back and cupped Seven’s cheek in the palm of her hand.
“We won't be apart long, my darling,” she said firmly, her eyes warm, solid with resolve. “Once I find a way to extricate myself from my situation on Voyager, I'll be on the first transport here. It might take a few weeks or even months, but I swear to you on my life, I’ll be back for you.”
“I understand, Kathryn,” Seven said. She knew that expression, the look of absolute determination that very little could stand against.
It would not be enough this time.
Janeway hugged and kissed her once more, and Seven could taste the tears on her lips, uncertain if they were Kathryn’s or her own. After Janeway stepped up onto the transporter dais, Seven went over to the console and manipulated the controls. As she looked up to meet Janeway’s gaze, she managed a small smile and lifted her hand in a farewell wave. Then, inhaling deeply, Seven drew down the levers and watched as Janeway became a column of sparkling light before disappearing completely.
For long moments, Seven stared at where she had been, dimly aware of Sporn returning to the room and standing at attention next to her. His dark eyes studied her intently.
“I know she will not return for me,” she said finally, in a cold, dead voice.
Sporn lifted an eyebrow. A few seconds passed and then he finally dipped his head. “It is…unlikely. The longer and further away an individual is from the Forever World, even if they were actually witness to the time alteration, the more ‘what is’ will impose itself on ‘what was’. In this timeline, Janeway was never a starship captain, was never lost in the Delta Quadrant, and was never in the position to rescue a drone from the Borg Collective. Instead, she is the first officer on the starship Voyager. She has a husband and a child. In time, she will be fully integrated into that life and not remember you at all. And you, once leaving the temporal zone, would exist in two places at once, with the Borg as a drone and in the Federation as a person out of time and space. The temporal psychosis would drive you insane long before it killed you. That’s assuming your cortical node, adapting to the timeline, didn’t simply direct your implants to re-assimilate you and return you to the Collective.”
“How long?” Seven swallowed hard. “How long before Kathryn forgets me completely?”
“It will be relatively quick, depending on the distance from the Forever World. A week, possibly two if she realizes what's happening and really concentrates on holding on to the memories. But it’s a very subtle process, and usually not noticed by most subjects.”
Seven nodded. Somehow, she remained impassive even as the hurt shredded the last bits of her soul, leaving nothing behind but the ragged tatters of what she had been.
“As long as you remain within the sphere of the Forever World, and the special, protective shielding of this starbase, you’ll be safe. We’ll find a place for you here in the Temporal Unit, Seven,” he added, clearly attempting to reassure her of a continued existence in this timeline. “Your knowledge and abilities will be invaluable.” When she didn’t answer, he lifted his hand, gesturing toward the door. “In the meantime, I can show you to your quarters. Dr. Grey has already made the preparations.”
She did not rail at him. What would be the point? He was being true to his oath to Starfleet, and to the Temporal Laws he was sworn to uphold. The love of two women meant nothing on the larger scale of things. An entire civilization had altered its course. Millions had been saved from dying in an unnecessary war. What were the lives of two individuals compared to that?
Somehow, Seven managed to put one foot in front of the other, managed to walk the distance it took for him to leave her in quarters that were comfortably decorated if not particularly lavish. It would be her home for the foreseeable future, perhaps even for the rest of her life.
Seven didn’t wish to think about it, didn’t want to acknowledge the whole of reality that was pressing down on her. Alone, she sat down in a chair, staring blankly into the dim illumination, trying not to exist beyond the moment, knowing that once she did, it would probably destroy her mind as surely as leaving the temporal zone would.
At least here, she would always remember what had been.
Drawing her legs up onto the chair, she wrapped her arms around them, hugging her knees in a suffocating grip. It was hard to catch her breath, hard to know why she should bother. The hollow inside her seem to grow, to encompass all she was, and her only comfort, scant as it was, was the belief that perhaps in this timeline, Janeway could be happy. She could be mother to her child. She could love Justin as she loved…had loved…Seven. No burden of command would weigh her down, no guilt of lost crewmembers or failed expectations would torment her dreams.
If Seven was left with nothing, well then, that had been her existence for much of her life. She would adapt. She always adapted. That was what she was best at.
She was unaware of the keening sound that issued from her throat, of her rocking back and forth on the chair, or of the tears that dripped steadily down her face. Inside, nanoprobes surged wildly through her body, trying to stem the overwhelming emotional reaction she was going through, trying to channel the rush of grief and despair that threatened to shut down her cortical implant. Eventually after several hours, they finally succeeded, but only just, leaving her silent and unmoving in the darkness, her face blank, no longer weeping helplessly, no longer crying out in a scream of agony so deep it could not find voice with mere human vocal cords.
Leaving her alone in the dark, her feelings, her useless hopes and dreams, all buried deep within her, placed rigidly under control so that she could continue to function...just as she had in the Collective.
The first day or so out of the Forever World, Janeway thought and worried about Seven constantly, but as time went by, duty tended to distract her and she found herself falling easily into the routine of the ship. And as she did, she discovered she absolutely detested being a first officer. It was all work, from personnel problems to ship problems, with very little reward; gobs of responsibility without any of the thrill of ultimate authority. She decided she had to find another line of work as soon as possible.
Motherhood, though, apparently agreed with her. In an effort to avoid Justin as much as she could, she often found herself in the company of her father and her son during her off duty time and it wasn’t long before she was completely smitten with Eddie. He was unquestionably the cleverest little boy she had ever met, and funny as well, with a never-ending batch of stories that he delighted in telling her, particularly once he discovered she wanted to hear them. At one point, during those early days, it occurred to her that if she did go after her own command, she’d have to take him with her. She certainly wasn’t about to leave him behind on Voyager with such a cold and judgmental father. Seven, of course, would instantly adapt and even come to adore him. Janeway was certain of that. Seven was good with kids. Wasn’t she? Janeway had to pause for a moment, trying to remember if Seven was or not, and unsure why she couldn’t, before another crisis arose in the engineering room and caused her to lose her train of thought as she hurried down to the lower decks to help fix the problem.
As for her father, she basked in his presence, asking his advice and guidance on as many things as she could think of. If he found it odd that she was turning to him so often or making a point of seeking him out, he didn’t say anything, merely offering a ready ear, a supportive shoulder and an open mind.
Justin, meanwhile, stayed out of her way, and didn’t comment when she chose to sleep on the sofa, or came to bed long after he did, lying uncomfortably on her side of the mattress, well out of arm’s reach as she tried to catch some sleep between bouts of his snoring. It made her wonder what the state of her marriage had been prior to Voyager’s diversion to the Forever World. Of course, if she remembered correctly, until Seven, she had always insisted on distance around herself while sleeping. By the same token, Justin had never been particularly affectionate due to his upbringing and personality. Perhaps he didn’t really notice any change in their interaction. If that were the case, however, Janeway suspected their marriage was a rather formal and barren type of relationship. She wondered why she would have accepted that. Had she thought that was how it should be between Starfleet officers? It was hard for her to believe, but she kept discovering things in this timeline that made her realize how different she was and how much altering that single, significant event in her life could so profoundly change who she’d become.
One evening, two days out of Vargus Prime and ten days out of the Forever World, she put Eddie to bed, left Justin home to watch him, and went over to the quarters where Edward was staying. He wouldn’t be with them much longer. They were on route to rendezvous with the USS Hood. It was heading to Bajor where Edward was expected to receive an award for all his work for the planet. She would miss him, and all his sage advice.
After offering her a mug of tea, he retrieved one for himself and settled onto the sofa beside her. She smiled, warmed by his presence.
“Dad, why do you think I never went after a command of my own?” she asked quietly.
She surprised him, she saw, but he gave the question every consideration as he sipped his steaming beverage. “I suppose because if you did, your marriage might not have survived. One captain in a relationship is hard enough. With two, it’s practically impossible.”
“But why Justin and not me? What made us decide he would make the better captain?”
“You’re in a strange mood tonight.” Edward patted her hand. “I suppose encountering the Guardian does cause one to look back over their life and wonder about the choices they make. I know it had a profound effect on me the whole time I pulled duty there.” He looked thoughtful. “So why was it Justin and not you? Well, his career was further advanced than yours when you met and I suppose, in times like these, you both decided that he would make a better captain. You’re more of a…well, forgive me, Katie, but you’ve always wanted to go your own way…more of a James T. Kirk than a Rachel Garrett type. You probably made the right decision.”
Janeway supposed she should have been insulted, but he was right, and it made her feel complimented. Still, if she intended to go after a command, she would need his support.
“Do you think I could achieve one after so long?”
For the first time, Edward looked a little alarmed at where the conversation was going. “Sweetheart, are you trying to tell me something about you and Justin? If you’re having problems—”
“We’re fine, Dad,” she said quickly, and perhaps she was even telling the truth. She wasn’t entirely sure at this point. “I just want to know if you feel I’m qualified for command.”
He looked very serious. “To be honest, I always thought it was a bit of a waste that you didn’t at least, try, but you seemed so sure that sciences were the path you wanted that I never said anything. You’re more than qualified, darling.”
Janeway nodded with a certain satisfaction. “Thanks, Dad, that’s all I wanted to know.”
They continued the conversation along other lines while they finished their tea, and after Janeway made her good-nights and wandered back to the captain’s quarters, her mind was in a whirl as she tried to figure out the best way to go about gaining a command. To her surprise, Justin was still up, sitting on the sofa, padds scattered around him and all over the coffee table as he worked. For a moment, his pose reminded her of someone, else but she couldn’t identify who.
“As soon as we finish transferring the admiral to the Hood, we’re off to Rigel Six,” he said as soon as she entered. “Starfleet Command wants us to courier a package of documents from the ruling council to the Breen peace delegation.”
Abruptly exasperated, Janeway put her hands on her hips and frowned at him. “Damn it, Justin, don’t you ever get tired of these missions? What about exploration? Discovery? Boldly going where no one’s gone before?”
Justin did not look up from his padd, though he did smile faintly. “That’s always been more your area of expertise, Katie. I know that sometimes you miss it. I promise, after this run, I’ll lobby for a few more science missions.”
As if she was a child who had to be placated with a new toy. The tone made her grit her teeth. “Maybe I should apply for a ship of my own. That way I could pursue my own missions.”
“Your own command?” It wasn’t so much that he sounded surprised, as he did dismissive.
“You don’t think I can do it?”
“It’s not a matter of whether you can do it,” he said calmly. “What makes you think Starfleet would give you a ship?”
“Excuse me?” Janeway was outraged.
“Well, come on, Katie, there are hundreds of qualified first officers in Starfleet, execs who’ve been training for the position for years, and nowhere near the ships available for them. Hell, even the Academy is limiting its applicants right now.”
Janeway paused. In this timeline, the war had not happened. Starfleet hadn’t lost officers faster than it could replace them, while both civilian and Starfleet shipyards hadn’t worked together to produce ships faster than the Dominion could destroy them. There was no pressing demand for bodies to fill positions. In this reality, there were too many over-qualified officers doing busy work on planetary bases because the fleet just wasn’t big enough to assign them all to ships.
Momentarily stymied, Janeway crossed her arms over her chest. “Then I’ll just have to find another way,” she said with determination.
That, more than anything, seemed to yank him out of his ambivalence and for the first time, he lifted his head to look at her…to really look at her. An expression of dismay and what might even have been fright crossed his face. Quickly, he rose to his feet and went over to her, taking hold of her biceps and pulling her to him.
“Kathryn, I’ve been a fool.” His voice was suddenly very gentle. “I know that I’ve neglected you and your needs lately, and I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll do better, both for you and for Eddie.” For the first time, looking up into his eyes, Janeway saw the man that she had fallen in love with. “Let me try, darling. We’re in this together. We always have been.”
When he bent his head to kiss her, she didn't resist. Afterward, she felt vaguely guilty and didn't know why. It took a few moments concentration before she traced the source of her guilt and when she did, she was both confused and horrified. Justin, watching the play of emotion over her face, frowned and pulled her closer.
“What's wrong?”
“I...I guess I have another one of those headaches,” she stammered, pulling away from him and moving across the living area. Putting her left hand down against the surface of her workstation to support herself, she rubbed her eyes with the other.
“That's the third one this week,” he said worriedly. “Maybe you should stop by sickbay.”
“I will, tomorrow,” she promised. She carefully arranged her face into a smile and turned to him. “Listen, why don't you turn in. I'll be in after I finish up a couple of things out here.”
“I'll wait for you,” he promised softly, the implication clear as he kissed her again. And again, she didn’t resist the kiss, even going so far as to return it. When he had disappeared into the bedroom, Janeway slammed her palm against the bulkhead in a combination of anger and frustration as she realized what was happening…what she should have realized from the beginning.
“Until Voyager breaks orbit. Then it will take care of itself.”
Now she fully understood what Sporn had been telling Seven, what it really meant. The timeline would assert itself, rubbing out any anomalies, such as the dual memories of a single Starfleet officer caught up in the temporal adjustment. Seven, still in the sphere of the Forever World’s influence, still part of the old timeline, would remain unaffected.
Had she known? When they were saying good-bye, did she understand that Janeway's promise meant nothing? That she would never come back for her?
Janeway felt a sob rise in her chest as a sense of helplessness pervaded every part of her, and she sank weakly down on her chair at her workstation, pressing her hand over her mouth. She sought to remember Seven, the scent of her hair, the smoothness of her skin, the sound of her voice but discovered that the details danced tantalizingly out of reach. In time, she knew, they would slip away entirely, replaced by the life she had lived in this reality. In the end, she would not remember knowing Seven of Nine at all, let alone having loved her more than life itself.
It couldn’t end this way, she thought furiously. There had to be a way out. There was always a way out.
But did she necessarily want a way out? Stricken, she stared off into the darkness. Changing time again would take away so much, including the life of a little boy she had grown to love. Seven wouldn’t want that. Janeway thought that she remembered enough of Seven’s character to know that much about her. For the good of the many, Seven would willingly give up the good of the one.
Janeway exhaled slowly. Even if she could somehow convince Justin that she had to return to Epsilon Six, even if she could convince her father to let her violate God knew how many protocols, even if she could get by Epsilon Six security and reach the Guardian, did she have the right to try? And in the end, what would making the attempt accomplish? It would take at least a week to return to that area of space and by that time, she would have forgotten why she was there.
Her strength draining from her, her hand fell to the desk, jarring the padd lying there and causing it to light up from its dormant mode. For a few seconds, she stared uncomprehendingly at the schematics displayed on the screen. She had set it on a search pattern of Federation databases days earlier, hoping to find a match to her description of the device she had buried in the ice, trying to understand what exactly she had done to change history so radically. And as she stared at the data scrolling past, detailing what the device really was, astonishment and horror filled her.
And perhaps even the tiniest flicker of hope.
She turned to her workstation and tapped frantically at her board, calculating the distance widening between her and the Epsilon Six base, acutely conscious of every second slipping by that would make her task even harder. Quickly, she composed a message, keeping it simple and to the point. And then, using every trick she knew would work in this timeline to prevent it from being detected, she used Voyager’s communication system to send it off, fearing that it would be too late.
As well as fearing that perhaps it wouldn’t be.
“I’m picking up a communications packet from Voyager.”
Seven, working at a console, did not look up. Sixteen days had passed and she had been consigned to the main control room located near the top of the Epsilon Six space station. Her duties consisted mostly of monitoring the space around them and the fluctuations of temporal energy that flowed from the Guardian. It should have been exceptionally tedious, but since she was working very hard on feeling nothing at all, she was not bored. Still, a transmission from Voyager generated a tiny bit of interest that managed to penetrate the cold, hard shell she had constructed around her emotions and despite her best intentions, she glanced over at the communications post.
Both Sporn and Dr. Grey had gone over to check with the technician. Sporn wouldn’t be on the base much longer He had thoroughly researched his history in this new timeline, and had established the credentials he required to ease back into his life. Once the next supply ship made port, he would go on board and after that, it was unlikely Seven would ever see him again. But when he shot her a sharp look, the tiny flicker of interest grew and she left her post to join them.
“What is it?” she demanded.
“Commander Tighe has transmitted a secure subspace message, coded for your eyes only,” Sporn remarked, clearly disapproving.
“Perhaps she came to realize what was happening and wished to offer a final good-bye to you,” Dr. Grey added gently. “It took a few days to reach here. At this point, she probably doesn’t even remember sending it.”
Seven glanced at her, and then nodded. “Please, transmit it to my personal workstation in my quarters. I shall go over it there after my duty shift.”
“Of course.”
Maintaining control with the help of a hasty dispatch of nanoprobes from her cortical node, Seven returned to her monitors. She didn’t know if she was ready to hear a final good-bye from Kathryn. She didn’t think she was ready for anything that might disturb the fragile balance of her current existence that consisted of rising each morning, drinking a replicated nutritional supplement, working out her duty shift, and returning to her quarters where she would consume another nutritional supplement. Then she would sit in the chair facing the viewport that looked out onto the Forever World. She would watch the weather patterns over the reddish-brown continents and try very hard to think of nothing at all, until it was time for the merciful oblivion of sleep.
Sometimes, though, it was too difficult not to think, and so she would choose something from her eidetic memory. It had to be a completely innocuous recollection, usually a quiet evening in the captain’s quarters, either on Voyager or Millennium. She would be seated on the sofa, padds spread out around her, working at the coffee table. Every so often, she would look up, and Janeway would be reclined in her chair, reading an old-fashioned book, a powder blue blanket draped across her legs. Seven, in her mind, would listen to the turning of the page, the soft whisper of fingertips across paper, and the sound of Janeway’s breath, interrupted occasionally by a swallow, or even a small sniff now and again if the words she was reading were particularly moving. Seven would relieve each second of the memory until it was time for bed. At that point, she would carefully return to reality, because bedtime with Janeway had always, at the very least, offered a slow, sleepy kiss and loving hug. At the most…
Seven wouldn’t access those memories. Not yet. Like a moth dancing around a candle flame, she would flit just close enough to feel the warmth and comfort of it, but approach no closer because the heat of what she had lost would sear her terribly, leaving nothing behind but a cold blackness from which she would never recover.
She hoped she had accumulated a lifetime of memories in the precious few years she had shared with Kathryn. She suspected she would require every one of them simply to survive. Though why she bothered, she wasn’t sure. It wasn’t just that she had lost Kathryn, though certainly it was the biggest hardship. It was that she had lost everything, her connection to Gretchen and Phoebe, her deep friendships with B’Elanna and Laren and Lenara, the sense of community with her crewmates and scientific colleagues, even that tenuous, yet growing bond with her mother, Erin, who had been recovering from her assimilation in a health facility in Helsinki.
Yet somehow, Seven survived, each day an ordeal to tolerate, each evening a refuge of sorts, and each night, the solace of unconsciousness…provided she didn’t dream. Dreams were very bad. Waking after one left her aching and feeling more alone than she thought it was possible to feel.
That evening, as she entered her quarters and replicated her supplement, she was acutely aware of what awaited her on the workstation. She thought about not accessing the message at all until more time had passed, but it pulled at her like…well, like a moth to a flame, and she was unable to resist. After all, when had she ever been able to resist Kathryn Janeway?
Taking her mug over to the desk, she sat down and before she could convince herself otherwise, she brought up the message and began to decode it. She even managed the slightest bit of a raised eyebrow when she saw it was a combination algorithm from those used by Section 31 and the Orion Syndicate.
Then she played it and when she saw Janeway’s face, she knew it had been a grave mistake. So, blinded was she by her tears, so loud was the roaring of her heart in her ears and the sobs in her throat, that she didn’t even take it in on the first run through. She had to force herself to replay it several minutes later to grasp what Janeway was saying.
The first words were angry, and spit out like projectiles from a weapon. “Damn you for letting me go, Seven of Nine. You knew what would happen.”
Even her fury was a supreme joy to experience. Seven wiped at her eyes, trying to clear away the excess moisture.
“I found out what the device was. It was a transporter booster. Why did I need that if this timeline was meant to happen? Why did it require my interference at all to exist?”
Janeway’s features softened, and became desperate. “It’s all slipping away, Annika. I can’t remember your face. It’s as if I’m catching a glimpse of you out of the corner of my eye, but when I turn to look, there’s no one there. I remember that I loved you, but not the love itself. In a little while, even that will be gone. I can’t stop it, but maybe you can figure out why it had to happen. Answer the questions, and just maybe it won’t have to happen at all.”
Seven stared at the screen for a long moment, assimilating Janeway’s words and their meaning. Then she leaned forward and set to work. By the next morning, she had a possible solution, though it had required all her skill in bypassing security protocols and ferreting out hidden files to figure out what she had to do. It wasn’t enough to bring the questions to Dr. Grey. She had to find a way to ask them. It would also require a certain amount of deception, of which she was not the most adept. The rest was based on hope, because if those answers weren’t what she anticipated, then there would be no chance at all.
Dr. Grey was in her office when Seven paused by the open door, looking in. To her surprise, Sporn was also there, but that was all to the good. It meant she wouldn’t have to track him down.
Grey smiled kindly at her. “What is it, Lt. Hansen?”
“I have a request,” Seven said carefully. “I wish to ask the Guardian a question.”
Grey’s smile abruptly disappeared. “That’s rarely allowed, Lieutenant.”
“I am aware of that, but I must know what is happening with the Borg Collective. In my timeline, they were nearly destroyed by Species 8472, but Voyager negotiated an alliance and by our working together, they were forced back into fluidic space. That could not have happened in this timeline, because Voyager was not there to provide the altered nanoprobes that made the difference in the war.”
“And if the Collective is now destroyed, the Seven of Nine in this timeline may no longer exist, granting you the opportunity to reintegrate into the Federation.” Sporn clearly thought he knew where she was going with this and glanced at Dr. Grey. “It would simply be a matter of accessing Delta Quadrant history, which is a permissible application of Guardian technology. It might also provide information that could prove very useful to Starfleet Command regarding the current status of the Borg.”
“The applications to study various periods of history are backlogged ten years, Commander Sporn, and the certified historians applying are subjected to the most stringent of security checks,” Dr. Grey pointed out with some asperity. “Besides, even if I could place Lt. Hansen at the top of the list and bypass security protocols, all Guardian study is limited to the history of the Federation, not that of the Delta Quadrant. Furthermore, the Temporal Unit expressly forbids the use of the Guardian as a device of espionage.”
“Nonetheless, we both know that Starfleet Command owes their officer a certain debt for the sacrifice she is making to protect the timeline. We can grant her a certain dispensation when it comes to the waiting period,” Sporn countered, his tone growing noticeably firmer. “Furthermore, keeping her prisoner on this starbase for the rest of her life is a rather undesirable outcome to this situation. And the history she wishes to study is that of her own past, which, as a citizen of the Federation, makes it Federation history. This request may offer solutions to many problems. It would be illogical to refuse it.”
Grey tightened her lips. “Sometimes Sporn, I get the sense that you’re more on the side of those in Starfleet Command who wish to use the Guardian for their own ends rather than protect and study it.”
He neither denied nor confirmed, merely stared at her evenly until eventually, she threw up her hands and exhaled loudly, and for the first time, Seven realized that Sporn was not Grey’s subordinate, but rather a consultant of some kind, one who might well rank her. At the very least, his suggestions were felt strongly in the corridors of the Epsilon Six starbase. “Fine, we’ll take an unscheduled and unauthorized trip down to the Guardian. I’m sorry we don’t have a yellow brick road to follow.” When both Seven and Sporn looked at her blankly, she just shook her head. “Meet me in the transporter room in twenty minutes.”
“Yes, Doctor.” Seven was pleased. That would give her a chance to retrieve the bag she had prepared and left in her quarters. When she reached the transporter room, she was forced to open it for inspection by the guards but while they were clearly puzzled by the contents, they let it through. She was the first one there and she waited anxiously for the others to arrive. Sporn was on time. Dr. Grey was late. Seven didn’t say what she was thinking. It was a bit rude, even for her.
Down on the planet, Seven took her place in front of the Guardian, while Sporn and Dr. Grey brought out their recording devices, not wanting to miss anything. After posing her question, images began to appear, and by the time they had been brought up to the present, Dr. Grey was sitting down, her face a complete mask of horror, hands over her mouth. Sporn remained upright, but his brows were drawn so low, his eyes were mere slits.
The Borg had not been defeated. Somehow, while on the brink of extinction, they did what they did best. They adapted, and discovered a way to assimilate Species 8472. The Collective now rampaging through the Delta Quadrant, boosted by their new, purely organic technology and led by a queen, groomed for the position as Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero One, was a far more formidable and deadly threat than anything the Federation had ever faced before. And they were making their way toward the Alpha Quadrant at a tremendously accelerated pace.
“Guardian, when will the Federation encounter the Borg?” Seven demanded.
Infuriated, shaken out of her shock, Dr. Grey jumped to her feet. “You can’t ask that!” she said angrily. “You can never ask a question pertaining to the future.”
At the same time, the Guardian replied. “In five years.”
Seven, doing her best to ignore Dr. Grey who was yelling and tugging on her arm, spoke again. “What happens to the Federation?”
“There will be no Federation. There will only be Borg.”
“Damn it, Lieutenant, you are in complete violation of—what?” Stunned, Dr. Grey stopped yanking on Seven’s arm and turned to the Guardian. “No Federation?”
Sporn lifted his head. “This is a most undesirable outcome.”
“I expect it is,” Seven responded evenly. She paused. “Captain Janeway, in her message to me, indicated that the device she buried on that planet was a transporter booster. Was that planet Tau Ceti Prime? Was it her mission to save Admiral Janeway so that he could prevent the Cardassians from instigating the Dominion War?”
Dr. Grey stared at her, eyes wide. “I only know that Starfleet Command ordered the release of that file from the Temporal Archives. I doubt they anticipated the outcome, only that it was predetermined by the Guardian.”
Somehow Seven doubted that, but now was not the time to argue it. Instead, she chose her next words carefully. “If this timeline, in which the Borg will assimilate the Federation in five years, is the proper path of our history, why did it require Janeway’s direct interference to bring it into being?” She turned to the Guardian. “Why did you instruct Starfleet to alter history?”
“I did not instruct. I merely informed that history had been altered. You chose to alter it. The past is the present. The present is the future. The future is the past. All is now.”
“Because Janeway was ordered to change history by Starfleet Command, Starfleet Command ordered her to change history,” Seven said, lifting a brow. “It is a circular paradox.”
Dr. Grey’s face crumpled. “But the alteration of history prevented a war that killed so many.”
“Fewer will die in this timeline,” Seven agreed readily. “Most will be assimilated.”
Sporn was very close to frowning at this point. “The Guardian does not issue instructions or offer suggestions,” he said slowly, as if he was working it out as he went along “It only makes note of what happens and when it happens. It doesn't care about the results or the progression of any civilization, not even the Federation. It didn't demand that we interfere, just noticed that we did. Twenty years ago, the scientists on Epsilon Six may have misinterpreted the Guardian's data. In attempting to prevent a temporal anomaly and preserve a timeline, it is entirely possible that Starfleet Command actually caused one.”
“I must utilize the Guardian,” Seven said urgently. “I must go back to that time and either remove the device or destroy it completely.”
Sporn hesitated. “Starfleet Command—”
“May have already made an error. This is our chance to rectify it. “
Sporn stared at her. “You want to do this so that things will return to what they were.” It was not said in an accusatory tone, merely as a statement of fact. “You and Janeway will be together.”
“That is merely a personally advantageous but completely unrelated consequence of restoring the original timeline,” Seven pointed out. Indeed, she felt oddly numb at the prospect of reuniting with Janeway. She wondered if she had incapacitated her ability to feel anything ever again. “I sincerely doubt that the destruction of the Federation is what Starfleet Command had in mind when they assigned Captain Janeway to this mission.”
“So, millions must die in the Dominion War so that billions are saved from the Borg?” Grey said soberly.
“It’s not a matter of a 'trade off',” Sporn said with a hint of an edge in his tone. “I believe Janeway was correct in saying that if her interference was required at that particular juncture, then it cannot be a natural timeline that resulted. A temporal paradox has been caused rather than prevented. We must prepare for another incursion.”
“I am prepared now,” Seven said and drew a white thermal suit from her bag.
He stared at her. “You planned this? You knew the Borg had assimilated Species 8472?”
“No, I merely required access to the Guardian to ask the proper questions. The Borg were…” Seven paused ever so slightly, thinking that Janeway would appreciate this, “…irrelevant.”
Sporn did not find it amusing. Neither did Dr. Grey. Seven pulled on her thermal suit, and ran toward the Guardian before either of them could think to stop her. “Take me to when and where Captain Janeway altered the timeline,” she said loudly as she approached the portal. “Twenty minutes after she returned to the future.”
The center of the Guardian cleared, revealing the same snowy plain Janeway had visited and without breaking stride, Seven plunged through the gateway into a blast of frigid air. The wind was brisk, blowing around the snow and even though it had only been twenty minutes, Janeway’s tracks had already disappeared, buried beneath the new drifts. Fortunately, a thermal trail lingered and Seven utilized her ocular implant to follow it to the rock outcropping. She searched around the base, looking for the disturbed area where Janeway had buried the transporter booster. Finally, she detected the slight hollow and began to brush away the snow.
A screaming thunder overhead made her huddle against the ice-cold stone, hopefully just another white irregularity on a plain full of them, though it was doubtful anyone on the crashing shuttle would take the time to look out a viewport. The sound of tearing metal and the explosions of leaking fuel seemed to go on forever, pieces of titanium and heat shield raining down around her in a deadly shower as she cowered against the scant protection of the rock outcropping.
Finally, the noise abated and she cautiously lifted her eyes, looking across the plain where debris was scattered for over five kilometers out onto the flat area that had broken up, revealing the ocean beneath. It was incredible that anyone had survived, but Seven knew everyone had…at least, for the time being.
She resumed her frantic scrabbling through the snow until she had uncovered the silver cylinder. Staring at the control panel, she tried to determine how to turn it off. Given enough time, she could figure it out, but she knew that it had to be stopped before any attempt at a transport was made. Using her left hand, she smashed it against the rock, once, twice, three times until the metal casing finally shattered. She picked up all the pieces, making sure she didn’t miss any, and placed them in the pocket of her thermal suit, aware that Starfleet would retrieve every part of the wreckage as part of its investigation into the accident. Any anomaly would be noted and could provide unfortunate results in the future…in the past.
Seven felt her temples ache. She didn’t like temporal mechanics any more than her spouse did.
Then she looked toward the ice field where what remained of the Terra Nova had come to rest. She knew she should return to the time portal before her presence was detected, but what she did was creep through the debris field until she was in sight of the fuselage and the tail section. Lying flat behind a small rise, she peered cautiously over the edge.
She knew she was being unwise. There was no point in trying to see what happened next. She knew what happened next. She had read the files years ago. But while she knew now that it would not and should not be changed, she couldn’t seem to help herself. Peering out from beneath her hood, she watched as Janeway worked feverously over an ops console that somehow continued to draw power. Using a skill and determination beyond her current abilities, Janeway managed to channel all remaining power through the barely functioning unit, and made the attempt to transport Edward and Justin out of the cockpit that was rapidly sinking into the black depths of the ocean.
Mesmerized, Seven stared at her. Janeway looked so young, no older than Seven had been when she had first been freed from the Collective. Pain and terror twisted her features and Seven wanted nothing more than to go to her, to take away the hurt and the fear. Instead, she remained completely still as she watched the young Starfleet officer frantically try to transport her father and fiancé to safety, watched as the dawning realization came upon Janeway that all her efforts had failed. Watched her become who this tragic event would shape her into, a woman who would be captain, a woman who would challenge the Borg, and in the process, free a single drone from the Collective. A woman who would love that drone and in loving her, teach her how to love in return.
She saw Janeway deliberately, and with steadfast determination, slam her leg onto the slanted deck, a leg Seven knew to be broken in at least two places. Witnessed her do it once, twice, three times before the agony of the shattered limb overwhelmed the agony of her shattered life, and she slumped, blessedly unconscious, to the ground.
For an instant, Seven rose to her hands and knees, intending to go to her, before a chirp on her tricorder reminded her that a rescue was imminent and that she had to leave before the vessel detected her presence. Shooting one final look at the crumpled form so small and helpless, Seven forced herself to turn away, to leave and run for the coordinates of the temporal gate.
As she leaped through the portal, she felt the weight of what she had done slam down on her shoulders, a burden of such immense guilt that made her step heavy and her head bent. She had killed Kathryn's father. She had prevented her son from ever existing. What forgiveness would ever be due her now?
“Time has resumed its shape; all is as it was before. Many such journeys are possible. Let me be your gateway,” the Guardian intoned soberly as she landed on the other side, the dry air harsh in her nostrils.
It was the same thing it had said to Janeway. All timelines were valid to the Guardian, all possibilities equally viable, all outcomes perfectly acceptable. How many times had it been used, and how many civilizations had been wiped from history because of it?
“Seven!”
Startled, Seven lifted her head. Sporn stood in the dusty plaza. Dr. Grey was gone. Instead, beside him stood Janeway, wearing the four pips of command on her collar and an expression of mingled sorrow and acceptance on her face. For a timeless moment, their eyes met and the complete and unconditional love Seven discovered there ripped away the hard shell of control and emotional suppression that had allowed her to function.
“Kathryn!” Then she was in her arms, not conscious of how she had crossed the distance between them. Janeway held her up as she collapsed into helpless sobs. “Oh, Kathryn.”
“I'm here, my darling. I've got you. It’s all right,” Janeway told her firmly. “Everything’s going to be all right now, I promise.”
Seven could not hold her close enough and to keep from crushing her, she forced herself to drop her left arm, embracing her only with her right. Aimlessly, it groped for something to hold on to and Sporn obligingly handed over the tricorder he was carrying. Her grip destroyed it in a screech of shattering metal and circuitry, pieces dropping from either side of her fist to hit the ground with a sharp clatter.
Seven could not stop crying. “I am so sorry, Kathryn. I killed your father.”
“You didn't kill him,” Janeway told her intently. “The accident did. Neither of us could have saved him. You simply put right what I, in that another timeline, did wrong. Hell, what Starfleet did wrong. If they hadn't sent me in the first place, none of this would have happened. “
“Take me home,” Seven whispered brokenly. “Please.”
“I will, Annika. We'll go now.” Janeway shot a look at Sporn. “We're beaming directly to Voyager. You can do what you want. I've had enough of you, Starfleet's Temporal Unit and this godforsaken planet, is that understood?”
He opened his mouth, hesitated, and then nodded. “I understand, Com—Captain. I'll clear it with my superiors.”
“You do that.” She slipped her arm around Seven's waist, drawing her from the plaza. “Come on, my love. Let's go home.”
The last thing Seven saw was the Guardian, standing serene and uncaring, there before humanity existed and undoubtedly there long after humanity had gone.
And in the meantime, the biggest threat it would ever face.
Captain Zar was standing by the transporter console when she and Seven rematerialized on Voyager. He glanced at Seven, concern crinkling the lines around his eyes when he saw the haggardness of her face.
“Break orbit,” Janeway snapped, momentarily forgetting where and when she was. “Let's get the hell out of here.” He blinked, surprised, and she felt her face warm as a flush ran up from her neck. “Please, Captain,” she added, somewhat lamely.
“Of course.” He quickly conveyed the orders to his helm and fell into step with her as the three of them left the transporter room. Seven stumbled along as if she had forgotten how to walk and Janeway was forced to guide her, hand firmly under her elbow, half supporting her. Zar kept darting concerned looks at them. “I know you can't tell me what went on down there, Captain, but you both look as if you've been through the ringer.”
Janeway exhaled loudly. “Tulek, you have no idea.” At the door to the guest quarters, she sent Seven inside with a gentle push on her back, and then turned to him. “Thank you for everything.”
“You’re welcome, Kathryn, I'm glad I was here.” He tilted his head. “On to Risa?”
No, we've had about as much of this vacation as we can possibly handle,” Janeway said, weariness permeating her tone. “Back to Earth, if that’s possible.”
“It is. We were scheduled to return for a little R&R anyway.” He paused and put his hand on her forearm. “It will be all right, Kathryn.”
“God, I hope so,” she said, acutely aware he had no real idea of just what she and Seven had been through. She was still digesting it, one moment sitting at her workstation after dispatching her message, and the next; standing in plaza with Sporn as if she had been there all along, waiting Seven's return from the excursion through the Guardian. Janeway decided that by transmitting the message, she had placed the subsequent events into motion and altered the timeline at that point. Her memories of her life as captain had been restored fully intact, and yet, oddly enough, she had lost nothing of the previous two weeks in the other timeline. She remembered not remembering and the harder she tried to reconcile the dichotomy, the more her head hurt. She supposed she would just have to add an extra two weeks to her life that could not otherwise be accounted for, just as she had those four days back on Voyager while healing her rift with Seven. To try to figure it out beyond that would only drive her mad.
“I'll let you know as soon as we're approaching Earth. It shouldn't take more than three days at maximum warp.”
“Thank you, Tulek. I…if possible, we’d like to remain undisturbed for the time being.”
“I understand, Kathryn. Take care of yourself. Take care of Seven.”
When Janeway entered the quarters, she saw Seven standing in the middle of them, her arms wrapped around her chest as if she were cold, an expression of such hurt and bewilderment in her face that Janeway thought her heart would break. She moved quickly to her, enfolding her in an embrace that was almost but not quite as powerful as the one on the planet's surface. Seven buried her face in Janeway’s hair.
“Kathryn,” she whispered. “You are here.”
“Yes, I am,” Janeway responded, aware that there was no intellect working for Seven right now, just pure and unfiltered emotion. She was at her most vulnerable now, most in need of her captain’s and of her wife’s protection. Yet, Janeway was still unprepared when Seven started to strip away her captain’s uniform. She recovered quickly and began to do the same for Seven, tearing away the white thermal outfit and then the uniform beneath, their movements increasingly more frantic as they sought each other out in this moment of pure and absolute need.
It wasn't for lovemaking or even the life affirming renewal of sex, it was only for the sensation of skin against skin, of bodies merging in a way that clothing somehow prevented. Stumbling together, they made their way to the bed and crawled beneath the blankets, huddled together and holding on to each other so tightly that it was difficult to breathe.
“I want...I feel a need to absorb you,” Seven murmured, and from the back of her left hand, the assimilation tubules burst forth, waving aimlessly in the air and startling them both. Appalled, Seven stared at her hand and quickly retracted them. “I'm so sorry, Kathryn.”
“Don't be, my darling,” Janeway assured her softly, taking Seven’s hand and kissing the palm between the thin metal bands, before turning it over to kiss the back where the tubules had erupted. “I know how you feel. If I could somehow crawl inside you, I would. I can't get close enough to you right now and I wish I were Vulcan so we could merge minds. I almost lost you, darling. Forever.”
“I did lose you.” Seven gulped back a sob. “I do not know how I survived it.”
“Because you're stronger than you thought,” Janeway told her. “Because deep down, you never gave up hope. That's all that really keeps any of us going when times are bad.”
Seven did not look as if she accepted that explanation, but she didn’t say anything. She merely shifted so that every possible inch of Janeway’s flesh was touching her own.
“You knew,” Janeway said, her voice suddenly harsh. “You knew I wouldn’t be able to come back for you. How could you let me go like that?”
“Because,” Seven told her, every word clearly an agony, “there was no place for me in that reality. Even if we could have remained on the Forever World where the timeline would not impose itself on our memories, you would be forced to abandon your father…abandon your child. Leave Starfleet and the Federation and remain a prisoner in the Epsilon Six base for the rest of your life. I could never ask that of you. Never.”
“Yet you were prepared to do it, just so I could be free to live out my life? Oh, my darling Annika.”
Overwhelmed, Janeway pressed her face against Seven’s neck, aware of how much this must have shattered her, and how much she was willing to give up so that Janeway could fit into the reality that had been made. And even though Janeway wouldn’t have remembered any other life after a certain period, Seven most certainly would, forced to live out the rest of her existence with the knowledge of what she had lost, with her only comfort a belief that Janeway would not be suffering as she was.
“I love you so much.” Janeway kissed her temple and her cheek, and then her mouth, as tenderly and lovingly, as she knew how. “Even as it was slipping away from me, I knew how much I didn’t want to let it go.”
Seven caught her breath. “But your son…”
“Eddie.” For a moment, Janeway felt a stab of grief so intense, it made her dizzy, but then she regained control over her emotions. “He never existed, Seven, except as a figment of what might have been.” She closed her eyes, trying to sort out her thoughts. “Darling, I can morn what never was, or accept what is, and I’d rather do the latter. We’ve made a wonderful life for ourselves, and one day, that will include our own little boy. Maybe we can even call him Eddie,” she added wistfully.
Seven sniffed mightily and brushed her lips over Janeway’s temple. “We shall, Kathryn, I promise.”
“I think the most frightening thing of all to me is that while I was forgetting my love for you, I never once forgot my desire to be a starship captain.”
“But the first is dependent on your knowing me, Kathryn,” Seven whispered. “The second is merely dependent on your knowing yourself.”
“Oh.” Janeway thought about that. “I suppose it does. Thank you, darling.”
She settled closer and for the first time, she felt the terrible tautness in Seven’s body begin to ease. Gently, she rubbed her back, scratching lightly now and again, letting her find her own peace now that the first, initial reaction was over and emotion was no longer overwhelming her rationality. Her respiration slowed and steadied, her breath stirring the strands of hair near Janeway’s ear.
“Better?” she asked softly.
“Better,” Seven agreed. “It was a most…difficult experience, Kathryn.”
Apparently, Seven’s tendency to understatement had not been damaged. “I expect it was, but it’s over now.”
“Nonetheless, I believe it will be some time before I come to terms with it.”
“You’re right, I expect I’ll be sorting this one out for a while, as well,” Janeway admitted with a sigh. “It’ll be easier once we’re home.” She slipped her palm up to Seven’s cheek, positioning her mouth against her own for a long, slow kiss. Then another, so soft and tender, warm and loving, with just the slightest hint of desire to see what would happen. Suddenly, she wanted Seven so much, she ached, but she knew she had to take her cues from Seven’ responses. She was gratified beyond measure as Seven’s lips readily parted to grant access to her tongue, moving against her own with a delicate sweetness.
“Kathryn?”
“I’m here, darling. Whatever you need right now.”
“I need you.” Seven exhaled loudly, almost a sob as her right hand ran down Janeway’s side to her hip and around to her buttock, pulling her mound roughly against her own. “I want you so much.”
“God, I want you.” Never had Janeway been so glad of their being in tune with each other. She rolled onto her back and drew the lanky body down on top of her, feeling Seven’s thigh nudge her legs apart. “My Annika.”
“Kathryn.” Quickly, Seven’s kisses became ardent, hungry, her touch more passionate and fervent. Yet, even as they melded together, there remained a hesitation, almost as if Seven was afraid to touch her despite how very badly she needed to.
“Darling?” Janeway drew back so that she could search her face.
“Kathryn, you and Justin?” Seven darkened, shame bringing a flush to her cheeks. “It is not my concern, and yet...”
“It is your concern,” Janeway murmured, knowing what she meant. “And if we had?”
Seven took several deep breaths. “Your memory of me was eroding at an exponential rate,” she said finally, in an unnaturally even tone. “The love you had felt for him for over twenty years would logically take precedent. I would understand and accept whatever has happened.”
Janeway took Seven's face in her palms, lifting it so that she could look in her ice blue eyes. Staring steadily into them, conveying all the honesty she possessed, she spoke quietly. “Nothing happened, Annika. I'm not saying it wouldn't have. That last night, when my memory of you had almost slipped beyond reach, and when I remembered how much and why I loved him...well, time would have dictated my actions. But until the moment I was pulled back into this timeline, nothing of an intimate nature occurred. It’s possible the marriage wasn’t particularly strong at that point, but even so, I think the inevitable would have happened sooner rather than later.”
Seven lowered her gaze. “I am sorry, Kathryn. I had no right to ask.”
“Yes, you did, because no matter what else, until the timeline had overtaken me completely, I was still your wife, and my wedding vows to you were still in effect.”
Seven nodded, eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I wish...”
“What, darling. What do you wish?” Janeway urged gently.
“That I could say those vows to you again. And to hear you say yours to me.”
“So, why don't we?”
Seven looked confused. “I thought...”
“What? That it was a once in a lifetime thing? Plenty of people take the opportunity to renew their vows, darling. In fact, it was always something I planned for us to do, because Mother and Phoebe weren't able to be at our wedding on Voyager.” She smiled at Seven, knowing there was need for a gesture that would make this all right for her.
“Annika, my love, will you marry me all over again?”
Seven woke, gasping for air as she shuddered in the grip of fear and despair, the lingering remains of a dream…a nightmare…still impacting her systems. Wildly, she stared around the room and gradually she relaxed as the familiar surroundings of her bedroom in San Francisco soothed her fears, reassuring her that her terrible ordeal was over, and that she was home. Two days back on Earth and still the nightmares plagued her. Janeway had assured her that it was a natural reaction to all she had gone through, but at this point, Seven was ready to move on. It irritated her that her subconscious required this much stabilizing before she would be able to resume normal function.
Carefully, she turned her head, relieved to see that her nocturnal struggles had not disturbed her spouse. Indeed, it seemed that Janeway slept more peacefully now than she ever had before. For that, Seven was grateful. Moving carefully, she slipped from between the sheets and stood up, the coolness of the room brushing over her bare skin. Pausing by the window, she looked out into their back yard, struck by the splendor of the light mist pierced by early morning sunshine. Dew glistened like Antarian crystals across the emerald expanse and Jake's doghouse, empty until they brought him back from Indiana, had a large spider web in the doorway that sparkled in a pattern of infinite beauty.
“Darling?” Seven turned, smiling when she saw Janeway rubbing her eyes and yawning, her body provocatively outlined beneath the thin layer of ivory sheet. “Why are you up so early?”
“I have finished sleeping,” Seven told her logically.
“Oh.” Janeway stretched her arms above her head. “So, come back to bed and neither of us will sleep.”
“As you wish.” Pulling back the blanket, Seven slid into welcoming warmth of the bed, lying on her side so that she could lean down to kiss Janeway. Because it was so wonderful, she kissed her again before rising to her elbow, looking down as she drew a fingertip lightly down her cheek. “Did you really ask me to marry you?”
“I did,” Kathryn smiled lazily. “Did you really say yes?”
“I did. But we have not discussed when and where.”
“At mother's farm in the meadow by the pond,” Janeway said promptly. “Just a simple ceremony with our closest friends and family whenever you want it to be. Acceptable?”
“Most acceptable, Kathryn.”
Seven regarded her intently for several seconds, memorizing each millimeter of her face. Janeway lifted a brow, blinking a bit under the scrutiny. “What?”
“I love you, Kathryn,” Seven told her soberly. “I cherish every second I am with you. I regret every second I was not, every second I ignored you, or was angry with you or was not conscious of your presence. So much time wasted.”
“No, darling, no regrets, and nothing wasted,” Janeway said, reaching up to run a finger gently over her lips. “Never be sorry for what you don't have, only be glad of what you do.” She slipped her hand around Seven's neck and drew her head down, kissing her lightly. “We have so much to be thankful for, and if we have to make it through some bad times, then that should only make us appreciate our blessings more.”
“Yes, Kathryn,” Seven murmured obediently at the familiar lecture and kissed her back, lingering over her lips. Drawing her hand lightly between Janeway’s breasts, she stroked the firm bone there, then ran around the lower swell of each full curve, delighting in the smooth skin on her fingertips. Janeway made a soft murmur of pleasure against her lips, tangling her fingers in Seven’s hair to pull her closer, deepening their kiss.
Seven closed her eyes. Making love with Janeway had gained a special significance since they had left the Forever World, and a new tenderness. It had never become casual or routine for them, even after years of marriage, but now, each touch was more exquisite, each sigh more meaningful, each intimate taste more fulfilling. Suddenly, it held the same intensity and freshness as their first few times, and yet, offered the supreme comfort and serenity that came from years of experience.
“Annika,” Janeway whispered, her breath coming quick. She grasped Seven’s wrist and guided her hand down between her legs, moaning loudly as Seven’s fingertips delved deep into her wetness. Janeway’s libido had always been abundant and easily sparked, but lately, she had been particularly passionate for her spouse, far more affectionate out of bed, far more amorous in it. That was more than acceptable as far as Seven was concerned. She couldn't get enough of Janeway, could not be close enough to her physically through the course of the day. Even when attending to the most innocuous tasks, they found they were doing them near each other, taking every opportunity to touch, to cuddle, to be together in every way possible.
It would wear off, eventually. They were both cognizant of that. But in the meantime, they fully indulged their need for each other, glad that they were on leave and that duty would not be there to force them apart.
Fingers buried deep inside Janeway, mouth tormenting and teasing her breasts, Seven thought of what she had, what she had almost lost and nearly wept for the sheer joy of being. And as Janeway arched against her with a cry of helpless, blissful pleasure, Seven did weep, pressing her face between Janeway’s breasts, her tears mingling with the perspiration in salty satisfaction.
“Oh, darling,” Janeway murmured in the aftermath, stroking Seven’s face and neck as she used her other arm to hug her head to her chest. “Are you all right?”
“Yes, Kathryn.” Seven lifted her head to look at her. “Was that adequate?”
Janeway’s teeth were a sparkling white against her wine-colored lips, swollen from Seven’s kisses. “You know it was.” She gently wiped away a tear from Seven’s cheek with her thumb. “And this?”
“Tears of joy,” Seven assured her. “Being with you is perfection.”
Janeway really didn’t have a response for that, Seven saw, just offered that particularly vulnerable expression that meant so much, and drew her down for a long, slow, decidedly heartfelt kiss. Then another, deeper, more desirous, openly lusting for her in a way that left Seven tingling from head to toe. Readily surrendering to Janeway’s passion, she found herself rolled over onto her back, shivering beneath an onslaught of lips and tongue as Janeway kissed and licked and nibbled her way down the length of her body, settling between her thighs as if intending to stay there forever.
Stretching her arms above her head, Seven smiled blissfully, eyes closed as she felt Janeway’s tongue stoke her with devastating effect, up one side of her ridge and down the other, tickling the tip provocatively before playfully pulling it between her lips. Janeway could keep Seven on the brink for literally hours, never crossing that line between sensitivity and numbness, or delight and discomfort, maintaining that perfect edge of sensuality. Fortunately for Seven, who had plans for the day, Janeway was not inclined to prolong her pleasure for that long. Instead, she covered her with her lips, sucking gently and ratcheting up Seven’s desire accordingly, leaving her wet and aching for the next touch, which came in the form of a long, elegant index finger inserted gently into her, probing deeply. Then another finger, pressing into her anus, thrust into the tight channel to fill her completely. Seven felt her toes curl in sheer delight as her hips undulated against the unrelenting caresses, the sensation sweeping through her in steady waves, each one stronger than the one before until finally, she was cresting on the swell of her climax.
Afterward, Janeway lazily retraced her trail up Seven’s stomach and breasts, reaching her mouth where they kissed deeply, sharing Seven’s flavor in a melding of tongues and lips. “Let’s stay here for the rest of the day,” Janeway muttered happily.
“I regret that I cannot,” Seven told her, welcoming her soft weight pressing down on her as she hugged her. “I have an appointment.”
Janeway lifted a brow “Yes, you do, I forgot.” She grew serious. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”
“It is unnecessary, Kathryn,” Seven said, though a part of her had considered it, just for the sake of having her there. “You would not be able to go in with me. She is not yet ready. And I have no idea how long I will be.”
“Still, I could wait out in the gardens.”
Seven smiled faintly, drawing her down in another kiss. “Thank you, Kathryn. Please, enjoy your morning here. I will contact you when I am on my way home.”
Two hours later, after transporting to the main station in the city’s downtown, Seven stood on the graveled path leading to a large, white mansion. It had been early morning when she left San Francisco but it was already early evening here, though the northern latitude would keep it daylight for a couple of hours yet. Surrounded by lush, lavish gardens and expansive lawns, the house and grounds appeared the picture of an affluent home belonging to some Federation Council member, but it was a care facility. As Seven made her way inside, she felt a tightness at the base of her spine that indicated how nervous she was about the upcoming encounter.
Inside the foyer, a smiling woman in a pastel blue coat waited for her. Tall and blonde, her Scandinavian features were friendly and open. Seven liked her, though it was rare when someone provoked that emotion in her without a long period of becoming acquainted. “Annika, it’s so good to see you again. Another successful mission with Millennium?”
“Yes, Dr. Sabathia.” Seven felt an odd sense of guilt that her mother’s doctor believed she had just returned from the Beta Quadrant. But she had not been prepared to come prior to Janeway’s professed wish for a ‘vacation’, believing it was better to take that time with her spouse rather than come directly to the facility. Considering how their vacation had turned out, perhaps she shouldn’t have put off the visit. “Her progress?”
“I think you’ll be very surprised at how far she’s come in the time you’ve been gone,” Dr. Sabathia said as they fell into step with each other. Both were speaking Finnish, Seven as familiar with that language as she was the standard North American English, having assimilated all the Earth languages. She was surprised when, instead of turning the corridor to Erin’s room, the doctor went the other way, to the glass doors that led out to a small patio surrounded by flowering bushes.
Seven caught her breath at the sight of the slender figure sitting beneath the shade of an imported red maple. Erin was shorter than her daughter, and slighter, but shared the same eyes and chin. Her hair was pure white, falling lightly about her shoulders, fine lines radiating from the corners of her eyes. She was reading from a padd and to Seven’s great astonishment, appeared functional.
Seven glanced at the doctor, eyebrow lifting. Dr. Sabathia smiled. “I told you you’d be surprised.”
“Does she know who I am?”
Sabathia pursed her lips. “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. She knows you’ve come to visit her in the past. She acknowledges it when we tell her that you are her daughter as an adult, but I don’t feel that she has truly made the connection between what is and what was. When she talks about her child, it’s always in terms of you being six years old.” She paused, frowning as she regarded her patient who was, as yet, unaware of her visitors. “Honestly, Annika, I have no idea what will happen, which is why I made a point of being here. This may prove to be a huge breakthrough for her…or it may cause a severe setback.”
“Do you wish to cancel my visit?” Seven asked, alarmed.
“My oath, as a physician, is to do no harm. Putting you together at this juncture may cause a certain amount of reversal in her progress. On the other hand, I can’t keep her stalled at the same level any longer, so not going ahead may also cause harm.” Dr. Sabathia turned to look at her, her gaze clear and compassionate. “As her next of kin, I will abide by whatever you decide.”
Seven exhaled. She should have allowed Janeway to accompany her. If nothing else, she could have offered her advice. She was only a hail away, of course, but despite their new closeness, a part of Seven felt compelled to make this decision on her own. It was her responsibility, and her call. “I will speak with her. You will be here to monitor everything. I have full confidence in your ability to handle any repercussions, even if they are less than optimal.”
“Very well, Annika. I’ll be right here.”
Leaving the doctor on a bench by the door, Seven moved cautiously toward her mother. When Erin looked up, she stopped, but when Erin did no more than smile vaguely, she resumed her approach.
Carefully sitting down on the bench beside her, she studied her closely. “Hello, Mother,” she said, shifting to English, Erin’s first language.
Erin stared at her for a moment. “Hello, Seven of Nine.”
Not Annika, but her Borg designation. Still, that was a huge improvement over Seven’s initial visit over a year ago. It had happened shortly after Erin had regained awareness as an individual for the first time. She had taken one look at Seven’s implants and started screaming hysterically. Hustled swiftly out of the room while the medical attendants sedated Erin, a very shaken Seven, on the verge of tears, had rushed back to Phoebe’s house in Indiana where they were spending their leave, falling into Janeway’s comforting embrace. It had taken a certain amount of encouragement and convincing by her spouse for Seven to gather up the courage to return to Helsinki a week later. Since then, her interaction with her mother had consisted of Erin staring off into space while Seven struggled to conduct a one-sided conversation, as directed by the doctor. For Erin to respond directly to her, as an individual, was a vast advancement in her mental abilities.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine. Yourself?”
“I am functional.” Seven hesitated, searching for something to say. She had become somewhat adept at the one-sided conversation over time. She was on uncertain ground with this new interaction. “I have just returned from a vacation. It was not successful.”
“That’s too bad.” Erin tilted her head slightly, looking at her with the slightest smile on her lips. “And Kathryn? She is well?”
Seven blinked, astounded. “Yes. You know who Kathryn is?”
“She is your wife. Dr. Sabathia told me about her. She showed me images of the two of you together.”
Seven gentled her tone. “Do you know who I am?”
For the first time, Erin seemed hesitant. “They say you are my daughter.” She paused, a small furrow between her brows. “My daughter was only six. Something very bad happened to her.”
“Yes, it did, but I survived it.” Not sure it was the right thing to do but following her instincts, just as Kathryn had always advised her to do, Seven reached over and put her hand on Erin’s. “We are no longer Borg, Mother. We are individuals.” She managed a smile. “And we are loved.”
Erin looked at her soberly for a long moment. And then carefully she turned her hand so that her palm was against Seven’s and she linked her fingers with hers, squeezing lightly.
It was a start.
Janeway could tell from Seven’s expression that the visit with her mother had been successful and she smiled as she welcomed her back with a hug and a sound kiss. “I take it things went well?”
“Very well.” Seven smiled broadly. For anyone else, that was the equivalent of capering about the room, shouting exuberantly at the top of her lungs. Janeway was impressed.
“Come sit with me on the sofa,” Janeway invited. Seven had hailed her from Helsinki, telling her that she was leaving the care facility and was on her way to the transporter station. That had given Janeway enough time to light a fire in the hearth, replicate some herbal tea and program a selection of soothing music into the house computer. Seven’s tone over the communicator had indicated nothing about how her meeting had gone, so Janeway had prepared for the worst. “Tell me everything.”
As she listened to Seven’s recounting of her visit, Janeway couldn’t help but contrast this attitude with Seven’s initial reaction to finding her mother. It seemed that both Hansens had come a long way. After Seven finished, Janeway squeezed the hand she’d been holding. She could have warned her of a possible relapse, of the possibility that Erin would falter in her progress, but Seven was clearly too happy for her to offer anything negative, so instead she merely added, “It sounds as if she's well on her way to recovery.”
“She is,” Seven responded, and there was a hint of wonder in her tone. “I told her about the upcoming ceremony to renew our vows. Dr. Sabathia feels that she may be well enough at this point to have a supervised visit to Indiana. My mother could be present at our second wedding ceremony.”
“That’s wonderful, Seven. I’m very pleased.”
“So am I.” Seven glanced at the chronometer over the fireplace mantel. “It is nearly lunch time. It was night when I left. The difference in time zones can be disconcerting.”
“They used to call it ‘jet lag’,” Janeway told her. “Now it’s transporter lag and is much worse.”
“I do not perceive it on away missions.”
“Because we always try to synchronize the ship’s orbit with the planetary time zone we’re visiting,” Janeway pointed out. “You’ve never noticed?”
Seven blinked. “It was irrelevant.”
Janeway laughed and leaned over so that she could kiss her. She wanted to be in constant physical contact with Seven all the time now and it had surprised her how much she had missed her during the few hours she’d been gone. The threat of her always being gone and forgotten still lingered, she supposed, and suspected it would for a while. “I’ve been thinking about dinner this evening. What do you say we go to Indiana and fill Mother in on our plans? We could check out the meadow, determine exactly where we want everything to be set up.”
“I wou—”
The chirp from their respective communicators, worn even on Earth, interrupted Seven and startled them both. Instantly, Janeway assumed full command mode. To have an incoming call to both simultaneously on a Starfleet channel wasn’t good. It usually meant an emergency callback to duty, and under circumstances so dire, all leaves were being revoked.
“Janeway here.”
“Captain, Seven, it’s Ro. B’Elanna’s in labor! The baby may come at any time.”
Her normally composed and accomplished chief of security sounded more than a little flustered. Janeway glanced over at Seven, saw her eyes widen, and bit back a smile. “And you called us rather than your doctor?”
“No, ma’am, I…we’re at the medical center. Dr. Pulaski is here. I’m sorry, I just…I didn’t know who else to notify.”
Seven tilted her head as she reached out and put her hand over Janeway’s communicator and one over her own, muting them. “Because we are all the family they have,” she reminded quietly.
“Of course.” Seven took her hand away and Janeway modulated her tone. “We’ll be right there, Laren. Where are you? At the base hospital?”
“Yes.”
After a hasty walk to the San Francisco transport center located only a few blocks away from where they lived, Janeway and Seven transported to the McKinley space station, and from there, to Mars where Ro and B’Elanna generally stayed while between missions. The medical center at the Utopia Planetia groundside base wasn’t particularly large, but it was fully equipped as all Starfleet planetary facilities were. Ro was in with B’Elanna when they arrived so they found themselves in a waiting area, somewhat uncertain about what to do next.
“I suppose we wait, darling,” Janeway said, trying to make herself comfortable on a chair that seemed designed for beings other than Human. “This could take a while. I wish she’d called after lunch.”
“Is this not unusual, Kathryn? Are not babies usually born in the early morning hours?
“I’m not sure, love. If that’s the rule, then I guess we’ll be here awhile.”
“It is inefficient.” Seven winced and Janeway wondered if somehow, her enhanced hearing could detect what was happening in the delivery room. “Why do they simply not transport the baby from the mother once it has completed its gestation period?”
“They can if they have to,” Janeway said complacently. Thankfully her hearing was not nearly as sensitive as Seven’s. “But the baby’s genetic matrix is so similar to the mother’s at that juncture, it can be a risky procedure. Besides, I believe B’Elanna wished to have a completely ‘natural’ experience giving birth. A lengthy labor can be considered part of that.” She smiled faintly. “My understanding, in fact, is that Klingon labor can last for days.”
Seven absorbed that silently, and then glanced around. “There is a small diner located by the lobby, Kathryn. Shall we wait there for the next hour or so?”
“Splendid idea. This chair doesn’t agree with me at all.”
To the couples’ surprise and gratitude, B’Elanna was no more restrained or patient in giving birth than she was in any other aspect of her life. Only a couple of hours had passed after their return from the diner before Dr. Pulaski came out to the waiting room to notify them that they could come in, and that it was a girl, the latter of which, they had already known.
B’Elanna look mussed and agitated, but the expression on her face as she regarded her little girl was unlike anything Janeway had ever seen before. She looked up at her captain and best friend and absolutely beamed.
“Say hello to Ro Miral Torres,” she said.
Seven, already besotted, moved closer, staring down at the tiny bundle with a combination of awe and astonishment. Janeway offered her best wishes, and left the two friends to dote over the newcomer as she and Ro drifted out into the corridor. A transparency allowed a view into the room of mother and daughter and Ro leaned against the wall next to it.
“I’m glad you were here,” she said quietly.
“I’m glad we were, too,” Janeway responded. “It was over quickly.”
“Believe me, it wasn’t that quick.” Ro laughed painfully. “I didn’t call you for all the false labor she went through over the past few weeks or last night when this bout actually started.”
“Oh. Well, then, for that, I am suitably grateful,” Janeway said. Now that it was mentioned, she did think Ro looked exceptionally weary. Well, her understanding was that it would only get worse from here. She smiled and leaned on the railing next to her.
“How was your vacation?”
“Abbreviated,” Janeway said, knowing that the details of the Forever World were completely classified. “We had a bit of a problem on the cruise to Risa.”
“So, I heard. Something to do with a strand out of a nova in the Breen sector wasn’t it? A one in a billionth chance encounter.”
“I’ve always been lucky that way,” Janeway said dryly, sparking a small laugh from Ro. She glanced over at her. “Laren?”
“Captain?” Ro responded, without looking away from her spouse and daughter.
“I received word from Admiral Nechayev this morning. How do you feel about shipping out as my exec next mission?”
That drew Ro’s gaze from Miral to Janeway’s and just one look in her eyes was all Janeway needed to know she would have to start looking for someone else. But Ro tried to explain anyway.
“Kathryn, I grew up in an internment camp on Bajor. My parents—”
“I’ve read your file,” Janeway interrupted gently. Both Ro’s parents had died in that camp, her mother from fever, and her father murdered by the Cardassian guards right in front of a horrified ten-year-old Laren. There was no need for Ro to have to rehash that.
Ro inhaled. “The point is, my parents did their best, and that was okay, but if they’d had any choice in the matter, I know they’d have wanted a better life for me. B’Elanna’s parents split up, and her father was away in Starfleet while her mom had to go out and earn a living that also kept her away a lot. Lanna was pretty much raised by her grandmother. Again, that’s how it works sometimes and she turned out terrific, but again I think, if her parents had any kind of choice about it…”
She looked back at her little girl, her face softening. “She’s so small, Kathryn, so helpless, and she needs us both so much, at least in the first couple of years. Being first officer…that demands a lot from a person. Not just time and energy, but to be a good one…to be the best kind of one like Riker or Zar, that takes a certain level of commitment that I’m not prepared to take away from her and give to you.”
Janeway smiled, albeit, a little crookedly. “I can’t say I’m surprised by that. A little disappointed, purely on a selfish basis, but I quite understand.”
“In time, once she’s walking and talking and has some independence, then I can commit to that kind of situation. Of course, I haven’t talked to B’Elanna about any final decisions yet, and it’s possible she has a totally different view. She may want to stay here on Earth for the first couple of years.” She dipped her head, lowering her tone. “We may not be shipping out at all.”
That was the worst-case scenario as far as Janeway was concerned. She could envision training another first officer, but to do it without Ro’s help? And to have to find another chief engineer to keep the ship’s systems running smoothly? Did she even dare go out on Millennium to another quadrant with an unproven and unknown person in that position? It made her ill but then, the possibility had always been there.
“You have a couple of months to think about it,” Janeway managed evenly. “Let me know what you decide.”
“We will, Captain, in plenty of time for you to find replacements if it comes to that.” Ro reached out and touched Janeway’s forearm. It was an unexpected gesture and Janeway immediately focused her attention on her. “Kathryn, Lanna and I would be extremely grateful if you and Seven would be Miral’s godparents. If anything should happen to us, I’d like to know she’d always have a home with you.”
Janeway blinked. “Of course, we’d be honored.” She glanced into the room, lifting a brow as she saw Seven was now holding the baby, a completely goofy expression on her face. “In fact, I think you'd have a problem had you offered the position to anyone else.”
Ro followed her gaze and smiled. “I suspect you’re right. And honestly, Kathryn, to know Seven will be there to help protect my child…it makes me sleep a great deal easier at night.”
Janeway smiled. “Knowing Seven’s around makes us all sleep better at night, Laren.”
Forced to pre-empt their planned visit because of the unexpected arrival of Miral, Janeway and Seven chose to transport to Indiana later in the week, intent on spending the day with Gretchen and Phoebe. Both were thrilled to hear about the couple’s plan to renew their vows and immediately set to work preparing. It wasn’t long before Janeway realized she was rather out of her depth, just as she had the first time around, and decided that a walk around the farm would be a preferable way to spend her time. Under the guise of “checking out the meadow by the pond”, she left them in the parlor and made her escape. She doubted she fooled anyone but it left her free of the house, which was all she wanted.
She spent an hour or so wandering idly through the rows of new corn, the leafy stalks barely reaching her shoulder, and finally vaulted the ditch between the field and the meadow where they intended to hold their renewal service. As she landed on the other side, she realized they would have to make a path and a bridge over the ditch to facilitate any guests of the ceremony. Butterflies fluttered above the swaying grass, grasshoppers leaping vigorously out of her path as she walked toward the pond in the hollow. The sun-dappled water hosted a small family of ducks and two swans. At the shallow end, lily pads and water lilies were in full bloom while at the deep end, trailing branches from the large willow tree provided protection for a variety of fish.
She made a token effort to figure out where they should stand for the ceremony, decided Seven was much better at that sort of thing, considered her effort sufficient and headed for a spot beneath the willow tree. Under its spreading branches, in the soothing shade of green and silver, she had always found a refuge, ever since she had been a child. She settled down on a convenient root, her back supported by the sturdy trunk and relaxed, feeling the sense of home and harmony fill her to the core.
Time passed with lazy ease and the sound of approaching footsteps made her open her eyes. She smiled in surprise and pleasure as Seven ducked under the branches into the leafy lair. She had a picnic basket hooked over one arm, and a blanket draped over the other.
“How did you know I was here?”
“Where else would you be?” Seven responded logically. She spread the blanket over the soft moss on the ground and began to unpack the wicker basket. “Gretchen packed a lunch for us. However, in return for this favor, she demands that we stay for dinner with her and Michael. Phoebe is also bringing a guest.”
“Of course.” Janeway leaned forward with interest, picking out a whole wheat tortilla wrap filled with pieces of roasted chicken breast, romaine lettuce, tomato, bacon bits, Caesar dressing and grated Parmesan cheese. “Delicious,” she murmured through a mouthful of zesty flavors. “Have you all settled on what you want to do?”
Seven delicately swallowed a bite before responding. “We have. I am sure you will find it acceptable.”
“I’m sure I will, too.” Janeway doubted that she had any more choice in the matter than she’d had on the Forever World. They spent the rest of lunch, which included potato salad and some fresh strawberries with whipped cream for desert, going over the various suggestions Gretchen and Phoebe had presented. To Janeway’s relief, it didn’t seem to have expanded out of control, honoring their desire for a simple celebration, while at the same time, incorporating some things they hadn’t thought of, but would enhance the experience.
After they were through eating and had cleaned up, Seven took Janeway’s place against the tree while Janeway stretched out on the blanket, head resting comfortably on Seven’s lap. Belly full, her beloved near, the scent of growing things fresh in her nostrils, Janeway felt considerably content with the universe, suspecting that Seven was feeling the same.
A few moments passed as they reclined beneath the willow, listening to the soft breeze rustle the dropping branches. Looking up at Seven, Janeway saw her glancing around, assessing their surroundings, absorbing everything. It was a habit of Seven’s to take in every detail, but lately it seemed to be more acute and inclusive. Curious, Janeway nudged her lightly with her head.
“What are you doing?”
“This will be a good memory,” Seven told her, a hint of satisfaction coloring her tone.
Amused, Janeway’s tone became jocular, teasing her. “Collecting them, are you?” Not thinking.
Seven’s gaze abruptly became distant and bleak. “They were all I had.”
Immediately, Janeway sat up and wrapped her arms around Seven’s neck, holding her tightly. Seven did not weep, but for a few seconds, she shivered as if in the grip of a great and terrible cold. “I’m here, my love,” Janeway whispered. “I have you.” She brushed her lips over Seven’s temple and cheek, wishing she could fix it, but knowing this was something that Seven had to deal with on her own. All she could do was be there and reassure her of her presence.
Finally, Seven drew back, looking a bit disconcerted. “We have not talked about what happened.”
“No, we haven’t.” Janeway rested her fingertips lightly against Seven’s chin. “Still edging around it, I suspect. That’s all right. We didn’t need to jump into it until we were ready.” But they had to come to terms with it sooner or later. This was probably the perfect place and time.
“Kathryn, about your father...” Seven trailed off, unsure of what to say next.
“I'm okay with everything that happened, darling,” Janeway told her gently. “In fact, I think I worked out a lot of issues during those two weeks. Trust me, Seven, I don't mourn not having my father alive and well. I'm just so grateful for that little time I was able to spend with him, time that I shouldn't have had in the normal scheme of things.”
She looked into Seven’s eyes, needing to convince her. “As for Justin…” She paused, taking time to find the proper words. “I was very young when he and I fell in love, and I had some very strong opinions about how relationships worked back then. I have no doubt that I would have tried to change who I was to who I thought I should be for him. Maybe I even would have resented it as I grew older, but it would never have been his fault, it would have always been mine. The problem is, I might not have recognized that in a less enlightened version of myself.”
“Do you think that was why you were only a first officer in that timeline?”
“I think I put his career first, and to be fair, I probably didn't know what I was missing. I sure as hell know in this timeline.” She smiled and shifted, turning until she was nestled against Seven, curling up against her body as she settled into her embrace. “It clarified things for me, darling. I'm not ready to give up my command. It’s too important to who I am.”
Seven sounded very relieved. “A wise decision, Kathryn.”
“And it's like my father said, when it comes to married verses single captains, neither is better or worse, they're just different depending on the circumstances. A married officer is more prudent about certain things, and can make a better decision, but can also be too timid when a situation calls for a certain recklessness. By the same token, a single officer can make hard choices without hesitation, but sometimes that hesitation…that input from someone very close to them…can be exactly what the situation needs. It's a balance and one I suppose, I'll have to be aware of even more than I already am.”
She felt Seven kiss the top of her head. “I suspect I shall be hearing a great deal about what your father thought and said from now on.”
Janeway uttered a small laugh. “Yes, if nothing else, I know I took full advantage of my opportunity to spend time with him. That's something I'll always cherish.”
“I am glad, Kathryn.” Seven tangled her fingers in Janeway’s hair, holding her close. “Yet, our ordeal continues to concern me. It was most imprudent for Starfleet Command to authorize the release of that file from the Temporal Archives, let alone insist it be implemented.”
“The file was only the catalyst, Annika.”
“In what way?”
Janeway inhaled slowly. “I have an uncomfortable feeling that someone in Starfleet Command decided it would be a good idea to see just what would happen if the Guardian was used. The file they had stored in the archives merely afforded them the perfect opportunity to try.”
“If so, they made a crucial error in judgment,” Seven noted coolly, “considering the eventual fate of the Federation in that timeline.”
“Or maybe they didn't make an error at all,” Janeway said soberly. “Darling, I know I insisted you come along, but in truth, that was pure indulgence on the part of both the Temporal Unit and Starfleet Command. Either of them, at any time, could have refused you access to the Epsilon Six base, and made you remain on Voyager. You would have been caught up in the timeline displacement along with everyone else outside the sphere of the Forever World.”
“I would have been the Collective, functioning as queen with no memory of you or my humanity at all. I would not have been available to repair the damage to the timeline.” Seven sounded considerably dismayed at the concept.
“You were their safety valve, darling.” Fury warred with nausea in Janeway to know they had been used in such a way, particularly her spouse. “Their insurance.”
“Who is 'they', Kathryn? Section 31?”
“Perhaps, or maybe just some shortsighted admiral in Starfleet Intelligence with the authority and desire to play God. We may never know.”
Seven lifted her brow. “Do you wish to know? If we channel our resources into discovering who was behind this, I believe we will be successful.”
Janeway set her jaw. “I believe we would, too. But what would be the price of finding out? There's always a cost, darling. Are we prepared to pay it?”
“What do you wish to do, Kathryn?” Seven asked finally, the inflection of her tone acknowledging the validity of Janeway’s words, part anger, and part resignation.
“I think our best option is to return to Millennium, jump beyond where they can easily reach us and keep our heads down for a while. Once enough time has passed, once we're no longer on their radar, perhaps then we can start digging. Perhaps then we can track them down and hold them accountable for their actions.”
“A sound tactical plan, Kathryn,” Seven told her with approval.
“Thank you, love. I try.” She smiled and Seven returned it, stroking Janeway's ear and cheek lightly with her fingertips before leaning down to kiss her. Janeway parted her lips, inviting a deeper exploration that Seven readily accepted, her tongue moving gently against her own. She tasted sweet, of strawberries and cream, and Janeway happily slipped her arms around her neck once more, knowing she was in the most perfect place in the universe.
“What of Ro and B'Elanna?” Seven asked, when they finally parted. “Do you believe they made the right decision?”
Janeway, who had heard from the couple the day before, merely lifted her brow. “They both want to try it for a year. If it doesn’t work out, then they can always accept groundside positions when we return. I’ll be honest, darling, after talking to Ro, I’m surprised they decided so quickly. B’Elanna seemed particularly adamant that they’d be better off on-board Millennium. I’m not sure why but in any event, I have to tell Nechayev that the position of first officer remains open.”
“It will be most interesting to see who she chooses for you this time. How you deal with the challenge provides a certain amount of entertainment.”
“For you and the rest of the ship, maybe,” Janeway said dryly. “It’s not that entertaining for me, I assure you.”
Seven smiled. “It is to Starfleet’s benefit that you train these officers, Kathryn. They will always do what’s best for themselves.”
“Ah, you’re learning, my love. In the meantime, we’ll just have to do what’s best for us.”
“Renewing our vows is best for us,” Seven said with assurance.
And so it was, several weeks later, that Janeway and Seven stood beneath a flowered arch designed by Phoebe in front of the local pastor of Gretchen’s church. Both wore filmy white sundresses and wildflowers in their hair as, before those they loved most, they spoke again the vows they had made all those years ago on Voyager, feeling them as strongly now as they did then.
Erin was there, standing with Gretchen, Michael and Phoebe and the rest of the Taylor and Janeway family. Nearby, Miral rested in the comfort and protection of B’Elanna and Ro’s arms while Tom Paris and Kes looked enviously at the couple’s new addition. Harry and his wife kept a tight hold on their children, not wanting them to run wild through the meadow. Zar’s leave was up and Voyager had broke orbit before the wedding while Neelix and Chakotay hadn’t managed to arrange leave and make the trip to Earth, but Icheb had, arriving with Tuvok all the way from Vulcan. Dr. Pulaski and Lewis, the EMH, stood together, while Samantha Wildman, along with Mezoti and Naomi looked on from beside them.
And beyond all of them, Janeway thought she could feel the faintest trace of Edward’s presence, looking down and smiling. It was a fallacy, she knew, but one that gave her comfort nonetheless. Wherever he was, she hoped he was at peace.
She knew she finally was.
The End